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| Total Votes : 24 |
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 Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 1:25 pm
"I don't think I want it, anymore..." He groaned. rolling over on his left side on the cot.
"... Trees have wood..." Tsurai slumped, if that was even possible while lying down, when he said that. Part of him hoped Isiah would catch what that meant, but the other part desperately hoped he didn't.
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 1:29 pm
Isiah's eyes widened with epiphany. "Oh.. oh god.." He wasn't really sure what to tell the kid. "You want me to leave?"
Like a wank would help anything, he thought. ... Stop thinking about that. He groaned inwardly. Tonight was barrelling downhill lilke a runaway train..
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 1:32 pm
Tsurai groaned. WHy did he even say that?
"No, it's fine. I don't even know why I said that... It kind of.. Went away after all the puking."
He'd have to make fun of Isiah's expression later. When he wasn't so exausted.
He could picture it. "Oh! Oh GOD!" Ya little girl... Can't even take a normal bodily process!
Yeah. Too tired to laugh at that.
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 1:35 pm
Isiah made the 'bleh' face, sticking his tongue out, making a minute 'grehh..' sound just at the thought. What the hell would he have an erection about?
"Puke gets you off, huh?"
He chortled. "That explains some things."
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 1:39 pm
"Yes. Of course. My insides travelling up my throat feels SO great, let me tell you," he replied cynically.
After a groan, he decided it was time to come clean. Time to try and be the willow. Man, how stupid that sounded. Even in a thought process.
"I remembered some of what happened with Cyrus," he admitted.
"That's why this whole.. Situation... Happened."
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 1:41 pm
"Ah," He answered, quickly. He didn't know what to tell Tsurai. The boy was insistent he was straight... "Sometimes the body betrays you, you know. It doesn't mean anything. Plus, god knows what Cyrus smeared all over you to make you orange like that."
He wasn't sure whether talking about it would make it better or worse, but in either event he had to try it out.
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 1:45 pm
Tsurai let out a deep breath. "I hope you're not saying that just to make me feel better. I don't know anything about.. "
He shuddered. "... I don't even get myself off."
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 1:48 pm
Isiah palmed his face, stroking downward. This was THE most awkward conversation he had ever had, save from the 'birds and the bees' speech his father had given to him two years too late at sixteen. He groaned, not really sure where this was going at all..
"Cyrus... has his ways, I'm sure."
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 1:50 pm
"I'm sorry."
He closed his eyes and gave a heaping sigh.
"I know I'm not your kid."
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 1:55 pm
"That doesn't mean you're not my friend." He groaned. "Listen. I'm not the best person to talk to you about this. I don't know what it's like to be..." He paused. He had remembered the fake relationships with women he had carried on in school to keep his parents from knowing.. and the lengths he had to go to with some of these girls to keep them from believing he was 'abnormal'.. He might have a slight idea, but even if he disliked it it was still consentual.
"It doesn't change who you are. Cyrus used every weapon in his arsenal to ******** you up. That means ******** with your head, too. Things.. like.. that.." Sexuality. "Don't change just because.. something like that happens. Trust me."
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 2:01 pm
"I know, but I can't help feeling.." his eyes teared up and he covered them with his left hand.
"... s**t..."
Tsurai laid on his back, and started wiping his face.
Tsurai tried breathing slowly again. But loudly, trying to save himself from being further embarrassed.
"You wanna know where all the scars on my back came from?" It seemed like he was changing the subject, but he wasn't.
ANd it was one of those questions that if the person being asked said no, Tsurai was going to tell them anyway.
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 2:03 pm
"If you want to tell me." He watched Tsurai with morbid curiosity, waiting for his answer.
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 2:16 pm
Tsurai pinched the bridge of his nose, near his eyes.
"When I was ten... " he was uneasy. He'd never physically told anybody this. They'd always already known.
"My mom.." He swallowed. He didn't want to be morbidly detailed, either.
".. Got pregnant... Because..." this was hard for him. He tried to make it as short a story as possible, he could feel his voice cracking.
"... Of me." He assumed he didn't have to add that it wasn't by his own will.
Tsurai's upper rip rose and he grabbed his dogtags and started pulling on them. His stupid nervous habit.
"My dad... Knew what she did, but.. Made my mom give birth anyway... "
How to keep this short. Tsurai felt awkward being in this much center of attention. Not that has silent crying was making it any better.
"But everybody... Blamed me anyway. Everybody said... Because I went behind Brian's back..." Brian was his father... Tsurai hardly ever called Brian dad, anyway. "... It was only fair that I should be stabbed in the back too..." He sobbed. "So whenever I did something they didn't like... They'd always... Pin me to the wall.... And stab me in the back... And then... They'd hold me down... And force the doctor to.." he shuddered.
"Use gunpowder so they could burn it shut... So everyone would know... Always... What a pathetic..."
What words had they used? He didn't want to say them. But he figured... Isiah knew everything else by now.
".. Mother ******** I..." Tsurai's voice had broken long ago. "wa..." No. Not was. ".. Am."
He shook and started wiping his face again.
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 2:23 pm
Isiah tried to keep a straight face. What kid before puberty could produce sperm? It was sick.. who forced him to do this? His father? A seething hatred burned in all of his extremeties- his fingers twitched with the sudden heat. He extended an arm and gave Tsurai a tight hug, forcing the boy's face into his shoulder, gritting his teeth. His fingers laced along the scarring down the boy's back, each mark taking on new, sick meaning.
He shut his eyes tightly, gulping to clear his throat so he wouldn't sound hoarse when he spoke.
"That's over now, Tsurai. It's over." He hugged him tighter, eyes opening, green iris gleaming with fierce, inheld tears. "It's over," he repeated. "And I will never let anyone make you suffer like that again." It was a promise to himself as well, to stay with Tsurai as difficult as the teen was. He was far weaker than even Tsurai knew- delicate- easy to manipulate. A hole like that.. in the soul, made an easy target. And that's what Cyrus had so skillfully played, though obviously Cyrus had no clue what had happened to hurt Tsurai so badly.
He released him, suddenly concious of how uncomfortable he must have been making him. He pulled off his wifebeater and dried Tsurai's face with it, silently, unable to offer anything more.
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 2:28 pm
Isiah's random hug was more awkward than this whole situation. Tsurai kind of just. Let it happen, and then gladly took the shirt to wipe his face clean.
"... Sorry. I didn't mean to.. I'm just gonna..." He turned away from Isiah. ".. Shut up now."
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