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klgirebdnchajdelfianemdke

Shirtless Hunter

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 7:16 pm


amanda from jamrock
Enzio Kageryuu



amanda from jamrock

Hello, I'm here to tell you what you need to fix in your profile.

Life View
- What clan?
Rank
- What seat?
Reiatsu Color
- Only one please.
Reiryoku Level, Known Foot Techniques, Known Hand-to-Hand Styles, Known Swordsmanship Styles, Reiryoku Techniques, Other Techniques
- These will be the base ranks that are in the Profile skeleton.
Zanpakuto Location
- It will never be in her.
Zanpakuto Spirit Appearance
- You have to have
Shikai
- Denied, you cannot have 2 different shikais. 1 release, 1 set of skills only. Fix that before I judge anything else.



that any better


You still need to fix your shikai.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 7:31 pm


Diablo en Musica 92
Kashikoi Narashi


Hmmm,

- I see no issues with fixing the Bankai later

- However the Shakai it counterbalances yes, however please do understand there are other ways to counter Illusion/ Kido based blades. The guild is designed for such ways...

If this is all clear, I will Approve...

I accept and understand your terms.

Kashikoi Narashi


Kaytali

Rainbow Wench

PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 7:39 pm


Vesquar The Demon

Hello Deary, I'll be reviewing your Profile. Currently, it is declined.
Reasons:
Bio - You should edit a small portion of your Bio. The Academy for Soul Reaper's wouldn't allow you to kill off their students, Challenge or not. So change it to simply beating them senseless. Other then that everything is fine.

Weaknesses - Your first Weakness is not really a Weakness rather then a Personal Tick. Edit it into something more combat based.

Shikia - You've written Abilities/Techniques within the Description of your Shikia. Techniques should be added to the Shikia Ability section, the Description is a written or picture of what your Shikia looks like and the basics of what it is capable of. So edit that accordingly.

Bankai - Abilities refers to Techniques. Also the Instantly Destroy anything is a no. Change it to extensively damage.

Quote me when you have made the necessary edits and I'll check it over again.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 7:49 pm


Vesquar The Demon

Okay,

- Please lower your age to no more than 500 years old. Some people have older due to the Plot and ace reason.

[ Shikai Issues ]
- Please explain your release attacks/ techniques in more detail please. The overall blade's change needs to be in the description area not the details of the techniques. ( so really move information where it needs to be )

- Please explain the limits of the second attack, it seems to be lacking an overall limit in ways to make sense. I mean, if you think logically you have to charge intense flames at a focus point to cause the ground melt. Which in terms unless your Yamamoto with the strongest flame type blade ( which you are not ) it would take some time. So therefore It would be a rather tough move to hit anyone with cuz I'm sure they would notice the heat change coming from the ground before the lava even charges.

- Your third attacks is too powerful, please do understand that everything is based upon RP skills, technique levels, and reiryoku level, therefore people can counter. You must also take in account the affects of 4th Division or other healing abilities of other Races.

[ Bankai Issues ]
- It is natural for the weaker Reiryoku level to be pushed back. HOWEVER! Please remove instantly destroyed. Because this guild takes in account RP skills to avoid and counter attacks by many different means.

- Your element is Fire, therefore you cannot make the blade longer. Sorry, I find such actions of the Blunt or Melee type/ element blades. I have no issues with you extended/ firing off flames from the blade. However extending the overall blade can not happen.

Denied until you fix these issues....


Diablo en Musica 92
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 1:09 pm


User Image

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ρ є r ѕ σ η α ℓ • ∂ α т α|├▬
Full Name: Kayo Akane
Nickname: She might have a few~

True Age: 18
Age Appeared:16
Birthdate: March 12th
Gender: Female
Ethnicity: Japanese
Blood Type: A+

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Height: 165 cm
Weight: 59 kg
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Red

Life View: Life is short so have fun!!!!
Personality: In first impressions she comes off as weird and usually annoying. She loves to talk, and will talk about nearly anything even if half of it doesn't make sense, its not the poor girls fault, she just has too much energy that she has to use it somehow doesn't she? Her actions are mostly influenced by her high level of energy. Most think she's just hyper, some aren't too sure because her energy isn't always positive. When made angry she has no problem whatsoever in resorting to a good kick in the shin or some other form of violence. Most believe that since she is nearly always happy that she is easy to walk over but they are always proven wrong, when needed she is stubborn at holding her ground and when she wants something she doesn't give up on it easily. She is very, VERY, persistent. One moment she can be happy and the next hitting you for some random reason which is why she can come off as odd and some suspect she may be bipolar but her tests always came back negative. Her constant talking and her persistence is most find annoying in her.

There are cases where she is more calm and quiet, it truly just depends on her mood during that day.

Likes:
Anything sweet (especially candy)
Fun
Talking
Music (she sings a lot and on random occasions)

Dislikes
People eating her candy without her say
Being picked on (it kinda happens a lot)
The strange creatures she keeps on seeing


Side: Neutral<3

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|н ι ѕ т σ r у|├▬

There really isn't much to say about Kayo, her childhood was very typical, well not exactly typical. She was raised by her grandfather and grew up never knowing her parents but that didn't bother her. Death was a part of life things happened one just had to move on. Her grandfather runs a small dojo so a lot of her time was spent helping him out and learning the various things he had to teach her. As a child Kayo a lot of times had a hard time sleeping due to "bad dreams", in reality she was actually seeing those that weren't supposed to be seen but for some reason that sort of came to an end and for years she never had that problem.

In the past few months she's been beginning to see odd things. At first she dismissed it as maybe having had too much sugar. As time went on the images became more and more vivid and other aspects of her began to have alterations like weird abilities that she had no idea how to explain. Having no idea what to do about it or who to tell along with a lot of other things she has decided to just try and pretend nothing is going on but its starting to get much more difficult as time goes on.


▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|c σ м в α т • ∂ α т α|├▬
Reiatsu Color: Light red
Reiryoku Level: Weak

Known Foot Techniques:
• Air Walk: Practitioner Level
• Air Dash: Practitioner Level
• Bring Light: No Skill
Known Hand-to-Hand Styles:
• Grappling: Practitioner Level
• Kickboxing: Practitioner Level
Known Weapon Styles:
• Fullbring Combat: Practitioner Level
• Weapon Combat: Practitioner Level
Reiryoku Techniques:
• Reiryoku Gathering: Practitioner Level
Other Techniques:
• Dashing: Practitioner Level
• Jumping: Practitioner Level

Strengths:
• Strength: Due to being a fullbringer and not an original human she has discovered that her strength is much above the average and so she requires a lot more attention to not let out her full strength on a day to day basis.
•Healing: Her body also heals at a faster rate then other humans. The healing isn't instantaneous, it takes some time, a small scratch within half an hour will be gone. When it comes to more serious injuries it gets more complicated.
Weaknesses:
• Easily distracted: If you know what to do you can easily distract the young female for a certain amount of time depending on what you did. In very rare cases does she not get distracted.
• Kayo isn't someone who really loves violence (even though she does hit every so often), so she isn't always willing to fight especially if its in a situation where its a life or death thing. She tends to hesitate because she just doesn't have what it takes at the moment to take another life no matter what kind of creature they are.
Fears:
• The changes that are happening to her (her abilities)
• The real truths of the world



▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ω є α ρ σ η • ∂ α т α|├▬
▬▬┤|Fullbring: Object Affinity

Fullbring Name: Schirm
Object Location: Where she feels like holding it. Could be in her hand, on her back etc
Object Appearance: In profile image above
Object Type: Umbrella (yes its an umbrella!)
Fullbring Power: Shooting reiryoku. Reiryoku collects at the tip of the umbrella and she can shoot it out as if it were a bullet. If she slashes the umbrella the energy will be released in the direction of the slash cutting through the air for a certain distance.


▬▬┤|Fullbring: Unlocking

Unlocked Name: {does it get wordy}
Unlocked Enchantments: {what is increased for a bit}
Unlocked Description: {what has improved in your fullbring}
Unlocked Ability:
{ Everyone = 6 techniques }


▬▬┤|Fullbring: Awakening

Awakening Name: {does it get even wordier}
Awakening Enchantments: {what improved in this state}
Awakening Description: {what improves within your fullbring}
Awakening Ability:
{ Everyone = 5 techniques }

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|т є c н η ι q υ є ѕ|├▬
▬▬┤|Custom Techniques

▬▬┤|Your Techniques





-hums-
since i have to train to have access to the other abilities im going to take my time making them and edit them in on a later date so i have more time to plot and think of awesome stuff o wo b
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 5:49 pm


Diablo en Musica 92
As discussed before, I want you to judge this.


User Image
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ρ є r ѕ σ η α ℓ • ∂ α т α|├▬
Full Name: Daisuke Fujimoto
Nickname: None yet

True Age: 2,569
Age Appeared: 18
Birthdate: 8/30
Gender: Male
Ethnicity: Japanese
Blood Type: AB

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Height: 1.778 meters [ 70 inches ]
Weight: 76.204 kilograms [ 168 pounds ]
Eye Color: Black
Hair Color: Light Grey

Life View: Everyone has their own path. I was destined to lead the Visored after the downfall of the Shinigami.
Personality: Daisuke is a rather quiet person who likes to keep to himself. He isn't a complete a*****e that many people once believed he was, nor is he narcissistic. Daisuke fears both his zanpakuto and his inner hollow because of the devastation that could arise if he lost control and let his inner hollow take control.

Likes:
• Shinigami
• Visored
• His zanpakuto
Dislikes
• The Quincy
• The Fullbringers
• The Hollows
• Using his Hollow Mask

Hollow Mask: Image Link
His mask doesn't appear above the head-covering that his shikai places on him. What does happen is that instead of having the white of his eyes showing and his black irises, the white of his eyes turn black, and his irises glow blood red. The only time he uses his mask is in shikai.
Rank: Commander
Side: Visored

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|н ι ѕ т σ r у|├▬

Daisuke was one of the first cadets in the Shinōreijutsuin. Before that he had traversed the Soul Society. He was a reknown fighter and was always good with a sword, and controlling his reiryoku. It was natural that when Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto opened the Shinōreijutsuin he joined, and was surprisingly accepted into it. Daisuke trained with Shunsui Kyōraku and Jūshirō Ukitake and passed when they did. Unlike those two though, he wasn't destined to become a Captain in the Gotei 13. He had the strength, and the ability to become a Captain, but fate had other plans for him.

Two years before Shunsui Kyōraku, Jūshirō Ukitake, and Daisuke would've been made Captains, Daisuke disappeared one day. He had fallen ill to an unknown illness, which would later prove to be a lie and that he had gone to undergo the Hollowfication Process that led to him becoming a Visored. He maintained control of his Hollowfication from unknown means, he couldn't even explain how he did it if he tried. He wasn't there to see his friends become Captains, for he exiled himself the Human World, naught to be heard from for a long time.

Daisuke traveled the World of the Living for several years, he had lost count exactly, and managed to elude the Gotei all that time. After a while Daisuke just stopped traveling and went to an island far off the Coast of Japan. It was extremely small, but rather secluded where he could train and hone his skills. On that island he heard no news of the more Visored being around, or any of it. It wasn't until the Aizen incident that he came back into the picture. Rather then fighting himself, he kept careful watch on the reiatsu that was in the area of the fighting and after that, he sighed. So many had died, and it was useless death.

Daisuke still didn't want to show his face around the Gotei so he remained hidden, and kept hidden until two years ago when he finally stepped forward. He reformed a small Visored sect, keeping their distance from the Visored in the Gotei. The reason that Daisuke didn't rejoin the Gotei was simple, he didn't feel like he deserved it. Now he is the leader of the Visored, and hasn't set foot in the Gotei. His plans now, are to go there to meet the new Captain-Commander.


▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|c σ м в α т • ∂ α т α|├▬
Reiatsu Color: Jet black core, with a blood red outline
Reiryoku Level: Vast

Known Foot Techniques:
• Air Walk: Expert Level
• Air Dash: Expert Level
• Shunpo: Master Level
Known Hand-to-Hand Styles:
• Hakuda: Expert level
• Aikido: Advanced Level
Known Swordsmanship Styles:
• Zanjutsu: Master Level
• Kendo: Master Level
Reiryoku Techniques:
• Reiryoku Gathering: Expert Level
• Hollow Control: Master Level
• Kido Spells: No Skills
Other Techniques:
• Dashing: Expert Level
• Jumping: Expert Level

Strengths:
• Zanjutsu
• His Inner Hollow
Weaknesses:
• Kido
• His Inner Hollow
Fears:
• His inner hollow taking over.
• Loosing his powers
• Death


▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ω є α ρ σ η • ∂ α т α|├▬
▬▬┤|Sealed Zanpakutpo

Zanpakuto Name: Notturno [ Nocturnal ]
Zanpakuto Location: Left Hip
Zanpakuto Appearance: Image Link
Zanpakuto Spirit Appearance: Image Link
Zanpakuto Sword Type: Standard katana
Zanpakuto Element: Melee
Extra Notes: Anything in bold in the ability section is a boost from his Visored Mask.


▬▬┤|Shikai Release

Shikai Name: Notturno [ Nocturnal ]
Shikai Incantation:
Shikai Description: Daisuke's zanpakuto disappears and he is covered in "shadows". His clothes change into these, and he acquires two swords. His speed is increased so that his movements are blurs to his opponent's eyes, but they're still able to be seen.
Shikai Ability:
• -Arc di ombre [ Arc of shadows ] - Daisuke can slash either one his swords, or both of his swords in a vertical, horizantal, or diagonal direction and launch an arc of his black reaitsu from the blade. Once this arc leaves the blade Daisuke has no control over it. If you get hit by this arc, you will be "set on fire" in the sense that you will start to get burns where the arc hit you, but instead of intense heat, you'd feel as if you were rapidly being thrown into -50 [degrees Celsius ] water. The temperature is lowered to -75 degrees Celsius.

• Ombra lama [ Shadow Blade ] - The basis for this attack is similar to Arco di ombre, except that instead of being launched his reaitsu surrounds the blades and increases their cutting power. If someone were to be cut with this aura on his blades then they would feel as though the area where they were cut was being thrown, rapidly, into -50 [degrees Celsius ] water. The aura lasts for three [ 3 ] posts, and has a two [ 2 ] post cool-down. The temperature is lowered to -75 degrees Celsius, and the time it is up is increased by two [ 2 ] posts.

• Ombra esplosione [ Shadow Blast ] - To be able to use this attack, Ombra lama must've been activated for three [ 3 ] posts. This attack causes a small "explosion" to happen when he activates it. This explosion coats the things around it in a 1.75 meter range in the same Black "Fire" that happens when someone is cut by Arc di ombre. Whatever is touched by it will start to freeze rapidly, and the feeling you'd get from it would be as if the area that was covered in the black flames was being thrown, rapidly, into -50 [degrees Celsius ] water. The fire will last for ten [ 10 ] posts. Daisuke is immune to the feeling. The temperature is lowered to -75 degrees Celsius, the range is increased to 2.5 meters, and it lasts for fifteen [ 15 ] posts.


▬▬┤|Bankai Release

Bankai Name: Guerriero della Notte [ Warrior of the Night ]
Bankai Incantation: Ban...kai, Guerriero della Notte.
Bankai Description: Daisuke is engulfed in shadows and his entire body is hidden from sight for two minutes [ my next post ]. When he is visible again, his appearance is changed. He is still in armor, but it now looks like this. He also has three swords instead of two. They consist of two single-handed swords, and one Two-handed sword. Daisuke's speed is still the same as it is in his shikai, but his strength is also increased. In his bankai he could lift 1 ton with barely any effort at all.
Bankai Ability:
• Arc di ombre [ Arc of shadows ] - Daisuke can slash either one his swords, or both of his swords in a vertical, horizontal, or diagonal direction and launch an arc of his black reaitsu from the blade. Once this arc leaves the blade Daisuke has no control over it. If you get hit by this arc, you will be "set on fire" in the sense that you will start to get burns where the arc hit you, but instead of intense heat, you'd feel as if you were rapidly being thrown into -100 [degrees Celsius ] water.

• Ombra lama [ Shadow Blade ] - The basis for this attack is similar to Arco di ombre, except that instead of being launched his reaitsu surrounds the blades and increases their cutting power. If someone were to be cut with this aura on his blades then they would feel as though the area where they were cut was being thrown, rapidly, into -100 [degrees Celsius ] water. The aura lasts for five [ 5 ] posts, and has a three [ 3 ] post cool-down.

• Ombra esplosione [ Shadow Blast ] - To be able to use this attack, Ombra lama must've been activated for three [ 3 ] posts. This attack causes a small "explosion" to happen when he activates it. This explosion coats the things around it in a 3 meter range in the same Black "Fire" that happens when someone is cut by Arc di ombre. Whatever is touched by it will start to freeze rapidly, and the feeling you'd get from it would be as if the area that was covered in the black flames was being thrown, rapidly, into -100 [degrees Celsius ] water. The fire will last for twenty [ 20 ] posts. Daisuke is immune to the feeling.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|т є c н η ι q υ є ѕ|├▬
▬▬┤|Known Kidou Spells

▬▬┤|Hado Spells

• None

▬▬┤|Bakudo Spells

• None

▬▬┤|Hollow Techniques

• Cero
• Bala
• Sonido
• Mask Protection
 

klgirebdnchajdelfianemdke

Shirtless Hunter

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klgirebdnchajdelfianemdke

Shirtless Hunter

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 5:50 pm


Aquos Dragoa


User Image
 
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 7:29 pm


Enzio Kageryuu


Approved

Diablo en Musica 92
Crew

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Yaroki

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 10:40 pm


User Image

┤|ρ є r ѕ σ η α ℓ • ∂ α т α|├
Full Name: Yuki Masayoshi
Nickname: Yuki
True Age: 34
Age Appeared: 16-18
Birthdate: May 6th
Gender: Female
Ethnicity: Japanese/India
Blood Type: AB
Sexuality: Bi

Height: 64 inches
Weight: 95 lb
Eye Color: purple
Hair Color: purple

Life View: The glass is half full
Personality: Yuki is a calm and quiet girl when you first meet her, this is often due to the fact she is incredibly shy. However should you get past the shy girl mask you will be shown the true person, that is Yuki. She is a quick witted caring girl who will be bluntly honest when she feels like it. On the other hand ifshe notices that you can not handle the bluntness of the truth directly she will true to ease into it which often fails. While focused on an objective she has unmatched concentration. While Yuki can do everyday things when her mind wonders she often forget seven the simplest things and at those time common sense is lost on her completely. She is a very trusting and loving person who absolutely loves to pick on people she deems needing it. Good natured and fun loving most of the time she is not someone you want to get mad or be on their bad side. If you are ever unfortunate enough to get on her bad side watch out her fiery temper doesn't dull her senses in the least.

Likes:
Dressing up Exploring and seeing new things
Learning things she didn't know
Trying new good food
Fighting
Dislikes
Snakes
Needles
Spicy food

Division: 8
Rank: Unseated
Side: Seireitei



┤|н ι ѕ т σ r у|├

Yuki was born the granddaughter of the 30th head of the Masayoshi family and the daughter of the man inline to be the 31st head. However it was not to be, her father Nagata was called away on duty a few hours before the coronation. You see he had invited his officers to the ceremony, thus there was no one to answer the distress call from his soldier in the world of the living; And not wanting to disrupt everything he decided to take care of it himself. Telling only his wife Isuma and baby daughter Yuki, he left. However unknown to him it was to late and the Captain was running into a trap. An espada was planing to capture a shinigami of high spiritual pressure to test so he used a arrancar that could manipulate light and reiatsu so he could appear as anyone. That way when Nagata arrived he believed the arrancar was his wounded subordinate, as he knelt down the trap was sprung. Though the might captain fought bravely he was overwhelmed, he died within minutes of arriving on the sight.

Ginriyu Masayoshi the 30th Head began the ceremony thinking his son would be there shortly, as he stepped down from his position he never could have dreamed what was going to accrue next. The news of Nagata's death came after the point of no return, therefore it was agreed a temporary Head would be instated until Yuki reached an appropriate age. This temporary Head would not be the 31st head because he was not a blood born Masayoshi but an adopted one; Making him an official head would have cause dis function in the clan, since he was an outsider.

Yuki's life was made extremely difficult fallowing these events, Ginriyu wanted to make sure she was powerful. She was trained in hakuda from the time she could stand, hoho from the moment she first started walking and zanjutsu as soon as she could hold a sword. The training continued until she was 15 at which time she entered the academy. In Shino academy Yuki began to change, for her first 15years of her life she was the perfect warrior and noble woman;However As she was around others more she began to open up to a few of them that she called friends.

Yuki was in Shino for only a year and a half, because she only really needed to learn from the academy in terms of combat was kido. Her family training had taught her many things that a Shinigami needed to learn. Soon after leaving the academy she joined the 8th division. (may add more to the last part but for now just trying to wrap it up lol)

┤|c σ м в α т • ∂ α т α|├
Reiatsu Color: White
Reiryoku Level: Weak

Known Foot Techniques:
• Air Walk: Practitioner Level
• Air Dash: Practitioner Level
• Shunpo: No Skills
Known Hand-to-Hand Styles:
• Hakuda: Practitioner Level
Known Swordsmanship Styles:
• Zanjutsu: Practitioner Level
• Kendo: Practitioner Level
Reiryoku Techniques:
• Kido Spells: Practitioner Level
• Reiryoku Gathering: Practitioner Level
Other Techniques:
• Dashing: Practitioner Level
• Jumping: Practitioner Level

Strengths:
• Hoho art
• swordsmanship
Weaknesses:
• fighting in a group
• her temper
Fears: • Snake eyes
•needles
• death of loved ones

┤|ω є α ρ σ η • ∂ α т α|├
┤|Sealed Zanpakutpo

Zanpakuto Name: Hibara
Zanpakuto Location: Left hip
Zanpakuto Appearance: Hibara

Zanpakuto Spirit Appear.: Hibara
Zanpakuto Sword Type: Katana
Zanpakuto Type: Fire


┤|Shikai Release

Shikai Name: Hibara
Shikai Incantation: Sodateru no Moyasu(Grow and Burn)
Shikai Description: Hibara changes into a tree with rose petals for leaves. The rose petals that catch fire once they touch an enemy's soul body or their riatsu, and the only way to stop the fire is for Yuki to will it or be overpowered by the enemies spiritual pressuse. Therefore even if someone cuts the petals with a zanpakuto it will catch fire. Yuki can control the petals and flames movements with ether her eyes or hands.
Shikai Ability:
Hi no Hanko (Resistance to Fire) This ability is activated as soon as Hibara is drawn. Due to the nature of Hibara this ability makes Yuki immune to fire or heat. She can be cut by fire based Zanpakutou's but not burned by the fire unless the enemy's spiritual powers surpass her own power.

Shikai Attacks:Hono'o Ryuu (Blazing Dragon) All the petals burst into flames they connect to form a giant Fiery serpent dragon (30 feet long 8feet tall and 5 feet wide) which Yuki can control and break into as many as 25 smaller dragons, any more than that and it gets to hard to control.

┤|Bankai Release Bankai Name: ( Not Achieved )

Bankai Incantation:
Bankai Description:
Bankai Ability: { Captains = 5 techniques } { Vice-Captain = 3 techniques }


┤|т є c н η ι q υ є ѕ|├
┤|Known Kidou Spells

┤|Hado Spells
• none


┤|Bakudo Spells

• none
┤|Other Spells  
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 10:57 pm


Yaroki

Denied.
1. You need to include a Bio. It's not optional.
2. Please fix the Layout Code.
3. The Element of Fire has already been used by a count of about 5 or more people. I recommend a different element.

Quote me when you've edited it.

Kaytali

Rainbow Wench


Yaroki

Omnipresent Genius

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 11:37 pm


Luciania
Yaroki

Denied.
1. You need to include a Bio. It's not optional.
2. Please fix the Layout Code.
3. The Element of Fire has already been used by a count of about 5 or more people. I recommend a different element.

Quote me when you've edited it.


1. Sorry forgot the Bio lol
2.??? Not sure what you mean
3. To change the Zanpakuto would mean redoing the whole character
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 11:42 pm


Yaroki

- The Layout Code has errors in it. Look it over and you will notice them.
- You can keep the element of Fire but just know, about 5 or more other people have the same element with pretty much the exact same abilities.

Also there has been a new Edit to the Skeleton, edit out "Zanpakuto Element" with "Zanpakuto Type" (Zanpakuto do not have to be Element Based).

Kaytali

Rainbow Wench


Yaroki

Omnipresent Genius

12,100 Points
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 11:59 pm


Luciania
Yaroki

- The Layout Code has errors in it. Look it over and you will notice them.
- You can keep the element of Fire but just know, about 5 or more other people have the same element with pretty much the exact same abilities.

Also there has been a new Edit to the Skeleton, edit out "Zanpakuto Element" with "Zanpakuto Type" (Zanpakuto do not have to be Element Based).


Okay fixed sorry hard to see stuff like that on my phone and yeah are my most basic techniques kinda run of the mill but once I get higher the other attacks are more diverse
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 12:13 am


Yaroki

It's not a matter of them being run of the mill, it's a matter of having someone else with the same Techniques and Power. But whatever.
Can you give more detail to your Shikia Description, and also edit it so that there is a way other then Yuki's will (I don;t understand the overpower it bit, so like I said, detail) to extinguish the flames once caught, since that alone is god-moding. Also you second Ability is again to much. Cut the number of smaller dragons which can be created to like 20. 100 is just to much. Also have a limit on size and range to which it can be controlled.

Everything else looks good, though you still have Layout errors. The only thing left is your Strength "Zanpakuto Mastery" it contradicts your restrictions as you have no skills nor a bankai. Edit it into something else of change it to Swordsmanship Skills.

Kaytali

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Yaroki

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 12:40 am


Luciania
Yaroki

It's not a matter of them being run of the mill, it's a matter of having someone else with the same Techniques and Power. But whatever.
Can you give more detail to your Shikia Description, and also edit it so that there is a way other then Yuki's will (I don;t understand the overpower it bit, so like I said, detail) to extinguish the flames once caught, since that alone is god-moding. Also you second Ability is again to much. Cut the number of smaller dragons which can be created to like 20. 100 is just to much. Also have a limit on size and range to which it can be controlled.

Everything else looks good, though you still have Layout errors. The only thing left is your Strength "Zanpakuto Mastery" it contradicts your restrictions as you have no skills nor a bankai. Edit it into something else of change it to Swordsmanship Skills.


Okay fixed it
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