GAIA'S TIME LINE

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 912

Monday, November 15, 2005 ~ 1:33am

hey journal!... ooh i love this pen color. i should just write a lot! blaugh wait,... what was i gonna say.... .....er,.... OH YEAH! today was the best day of my whole entire 95yr, 3 ft. life!!!! I STARTED AT MY NEW, HOLLY, JOLLY, JOB! S CORP! that stands for santa corporation wink ...yep the BIG man alright, ol' jolly, red fellow... which always makes me think of big, red, gumdrops...mmm YUMMY IN MAH TUMMY! whee oh im hungry now...OH! i better eat now before taking my meds... don't want my mind to be spinning all day... or night... jeez what time is it??? I LOVE my blinking blue watch! hey that reminds me... there was this really tall elf (4'6) that i passed by this afternoon. He was staring at the doors for like, a really unusually long time... smiling... with SUNGLASSES on, to top that! eek kinda weird, but funny, and maybe... cute??? GOSH so many working elves here, and so many strange ones, like the saw dust covered girl confused and veggie dude and that really out of space chic with the words and stuff eek ... Not to mention smelly butt ( phew... good thing i have this dust mask to save me! sweatdrop ) But what a KEWL, exciting-filled, first day-of-my-new job today was!!! so many elves, so many new things to do and learn and toys to make for the BIG man... OMG! did i mention that i heard he was in some kinda accident!!! oh i hope he'll be ok. i hope Ms. Claus is alright too, even though i heard she was kinda of a vomit-flavored belly jelly xp (poor 404) OH! i'm gettin sleepy...better go to bed now...but wasn't i suppose to do something soon...geez i don't remember, oh well 3nodding  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 369

Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
2:12AM

I am sooooooooooooo tired. gonk

Well, of course it'd feel that way today, as I've been working for about 12 hours straight now... and I still have a good 6 more hours to go. My friend, Elftech 294, who manages the giftwrapping and packaging department during regular work hours, had some kind of emergency at home and had to excuse herself for the day; I couldn't sleep anyway, so I took her shift.

Christmas is just around the corner! Every Elftech must do his or her part... Och, my eyes... >_< where is my eyedrop..............

It was my first time having lunch during the dayshift - a prime opportunity to hand out as much fruit as possible. Mama keeps insisting that maintaining a healthy and balanced diet will help with my insomnia, and keeps sending me baskets of apples and bananas and whatever else she manages to get her hands on. I gave one apple to a dark-haired Elftech with big eyes who seemed to have basically... nothing... for lunch. Later, I gave the entire bunch of bananas I'd just picked up from the mailroom to another Elftech with pretty blue eyes and incredibly long hair - she thanked me in a rushed, albeit friendly sort of way, and walked off saying something about a Sun God and happy gamma rays of chakra (???) I also ran into a cheery fellow who handed me a vegetable roll-up and chicken broth soda... which... I also gave away. Probably would've stuck the roll-up up my nose on accident or something anyway...

While on break, I decided to try to wake myself up by taking a walk around the factory, and ran into another Elftech on nightshift - I gave him some fruit too, of course. He looked somewhat nervous - his palms were sweaty, and he stuttered incessantly while thanking me. o_o Kinda smelled funny too... he had black soot and stuff all over him. eek

The whole place looks so different during the day - like an immaculate urban city with an orchestra of whirring machines, complemented by voices giving orders, reporting maintenance problems, humming... sharing secrets in stolen moments when the supervisors aren't looking. Everything moves - even the very air. Lots of things that keep me awake and alert.
I like the nightshift, though, because it's... peaceful. At night, miles and miles of Christmas lights cast warm glows in the endless hallways, off the empty desks, the shiny factory machines. Christmas is a warm and friendly time... but, I don't know. Something is also really cold about this place lately.

I also heard that Mr. Claus got into some kind of accident. I hope it wasn't serious! Maybe I'll send him a basket of fruit.  

[saphira_legend]

The Grimoire of ElfTech 571
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005; 7:52am

Morning here waits for noelf. And though I'm seriously considering starting a one-elf jihad against my alarm clock, I suppose that my mention of it is proof that I'll never actually so much as scratch the paint on its tinny little body. It's loud, it's annoying,...it's my faithful little friend.

The next thing to grab my attention doesn't seem so friendly though...the mandatory assembly note stuck on the corkboard on the wall, across from the end of my bed. I remember putting it up a few days ago; we all got them in our in-boxes.

Wonder what this is gonna be about...

They haven't had one of these for a while. Hope noelf's going to say anything about the disturbance last night...the one whose proximate cause is lying right here in this bed...

I wonder who's going to lead the assembly. Might be nice if it were Herself this morning; although she's been sheer bloody murder on poor 404 lately. Still, the old dame ain't half bad. You can say what you want about Herself, but she's one classy lady...wonder how she's holding up.

Just what in blazes were they doing down there in the lab last night? And where the frack is my toothbrush?  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 247

Tuesday November 15, 2005
9:57 am

Authorization: 247
Password: ********
Encryption: text/plain

Current Mood: Content
Current Music: "Can't Keep me Down Forever" by R00bots

Company policy dictates that all people employed by S Corp are to maintain a log of their activities. This is so that we can maximize productivity as we move ahead towards Christmas. It also lets us find out if anyone is falling behind or may have unforseen problems in their product cycles. However, I've been so busy, I just flat out forgot to do my entries for the previous day. I think I can let my productivity speak for itself though.

Everyone is worried about the big man. He's fine, I saw him myself. Santa's a big man, and you could still tell he was okay. You could feel the Christmas just... I dunno, emanating from him. Mrs. Claus has asked me to help Santa personally, so I've been spending my nights down in our medical facility lab. We have two medical facilities, the one in the basement is reserved for people like Santa because we simply can't have the poor man getting mobbed with questions when he has very important things (Christmas) on his mind. I was down there late last night with Mrs. Claus while Santa was sleeping. Jack's punch did a number on Santa's suit, so we most certainly need to repair it. It gets really cold flying around, and without the heating unit, it would be a really rough trip.

"How are you feeling?" she asked me.

"Ho Ho Hello" I replied into the microphone, pleased that the sound came out exactly as expected. I turned off the system at that point, since I didn't want to wake Santa. "Well, I've repaired the voice speaker, and I think we've finished remapping the blueprints. It's just going to take some time and manpower."

"I've taken care of it and have started hiring additional techs. We'll be fine." she replied. I found that very reassuring.

We both jerked our heads towards the door when we heard a loud crash in the hallway. On instinct, Mrs. Claus sent out the sentry units to go check the lift and the primary floors. I still don't know the resolution of that incident, but everything seems to be okay. I spent a few more hours working on perfecting the speaker and microphone, and then decided to catch a few hours sleep. This brings us to this morning.

I have a new person under me, ElfTech 101. He seems like a nice enough kid, but I don't think his head is screwed on straight. I got a memo from the Mrs. which outlined some thing about 101 that were good to know. I think he'll make a great employee. The first order of business is to have him fill out the ordering forms we need and have the shipments arrive overnight. He won't ask about the orders, he won't even give it another thought. I understand now why he was put under me- this could be most certainly advantageous.

That just about wraps up my log for the past two days. I believe the big man is going to be able to give his speech today. It's the 15th, putting us near the 40 day mark. It's crunch time, and it's time to get busy!

Speaking of busy, I need to report back in to the Mrs. I've spent far too long on this entry as it is.  

[saphira_legend]

journal of ElfTech 909
Pa rum pum pum pum!

This place is starting to get crowded by the minute. Does this mean that I don't get to work on newer toys? Oh hum. Maybe a walk around Towns can bring me back into the spirit.

Jingle!

One of the Elftechs just posted a flyer on a piler next to me stating:

All S Corp Elves must report for mandatory meeting.

Anything is better than working here at the workbench.  

[saphira_legend]

Press Release - State of the Elves


Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
10:00am


This wondrous morning saw Santa Claus in all his glory, arrive at the Arctic facility's auditorium to give a speech to all of the workers. The following is the transcript from his highly motivational speech:

"My fellow elves,

The past few weeks have been very tragic. The incident in Gambino's mansion, the botched Halloween festivities of the one we call JACK and his assault on my press conference -- all of these events served as a shocking reminder of the potential for hurt and pain in this world--

BUT WE SURVIVE.

Despite all of the evil machinations of this world, despite all of the greed and the suffering in this world we call GAIA--

WE SURVIVE.

And despite Jack's cowardly attempt at my life--

I SURVIVE.

I live today as a symbol. A symbol of GOOD. For it is I, for it is US, that reward those who are good every year with one simple thing--

A GIFT.

It is not important what this gift is, for the gift is merely a symbol. A symbol to those who are GOOD to continue what they are doing. For it is the good who make life worth living every day.

But who says we can't make it the coolest symbol there ever was? That's right my fellow elves! Let's work extra hard this winter to make the ultimate gift! If you feel that something is weird or strange, throw those feelings away! We are here to make gifts! No matter how suspicious, how dangerous, how life threatening the process--

WE WILL RISE TO THE OCCASION!!

AND WE WILL KEEP QUIET ABOUT IT!!

MY FELLOW ELVES, SAY IT WITH ME!!!

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!!!!!!!!!

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!!!!!!!!!

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!!!!!!!!!"

Santa proceeded to exit the auditorium as the elves continued to cheer.  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 101
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
10:05am

So I came into the office this morning and I had a package on my desk. Gosh I love packages! Just then I realized that it was the glasses that I had purchased on Greg's list. But for some reason, the package was all beaten up... it looked like someone stepped on it really hard leaving a big fat imprint in the middle. I could make out the words "omb squa."

As I opened the package, I looked inside and noticed that the two pairs of glasses inside were completely smashed. I guess I'll never look smart... crying

It's ok. My dad used to tell me that everyone has their place in this world and that we are all destined to play our parts in it.

Oh, I finally met my boss 247 this morning and he gave me my first assignment! I felt kinda bad not really doing anything yesterday... but he was nowhere to be found so I couldn't really help it. sweatdrop

He told me that I had the most important job in the facility! He handed me a stack of papers the size of a log. He told me that it was very important that I fill out these forms before the end of the shipping day. I felt so special. 3nodding

Little ol' me, getting a responsiblity as big as this! Look at me now dad!! surprised  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 003
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
10:30 AM

Memorandums have flooded my workbench. The two rubber bands procured last night did not escape scrutiny.

---

xxxelo Wrote:
003,

I noticed you share the same strange obsession for rubber band balls. I, however, have not yet started logging my rubber bands and their locations. But I can tell you that I am the proud owner of a 6" wide, pure rubber bands rubber-band-ball! This baby started by a rubber band or two wound in a tiny ball.. and more rubber bands around it. Which rubber band ball is your biggest? And which is your most prized rubber band?

xxxelo


Dear Mr. xxxelo,

The act of logging the location of found objects is an important exercise in pinning down the moments of existence that might otherwise be forgotten.

I applaud you for also seeing the value in collecting rubber bands. I myself, consider the humble creatures to be a metaphor for the Elfish experience. Each band varies in shape, function, and origin, yet are still undoubtedly Rubber-Band-ish. Some are flexible, some snap with very little tension, and some are even used to hurt others. They are simple and often overlooked, but they are everywhere, making life easier for many in their own quiet way.

My largest ball is #34, which is the size of my arm span, roughly 30". The core contains Balls 30 through 33. As I have no memory before arriving in this Arctic workshop, I can only ascertain that the balls got grafted together to cover up a particularly difficult interlude. Well... the entries from that time period seem to suggest as much anyway. (e.g. Location found: Under metal food tray, on cement floor)

My meticulously kept notebook also reveals my most prized rubber band as being #5804, the inaugural one on Ball #34. Location found: His wrist. I deduced the importance of this particular band, not from the expansiveness of the entry, but rather the lack of it.

Thank you for your inquiry.

~ ElfTech003

Cc:
xxxxxxski
xxxx xxega
xxxxx xxirl
xxxxtto
xxxxxxxx xxndy
xx2  

[saphira_legend]

The Grimoire of ElfTech 571
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005; 10:43am

I'm rambling; I'm in shock and I can't figure out what the frack to do next. I've gone back to my room because I feel sick to my stomach and I'm dizzy. But it wasn't what I ate for breakfast this morning.

I saw the hard suit when they brought it back after the fight in Barton. That thing was in a million fracking pieces; yet somehow, I'm supposed to believe they patched it up in a week and it was standing right there behind the podium as if nothing had ever happened!

Given the work that went into making that (don't ask; I'd have to kill you if I told you, and I AIN'T gonna do that) I don't see how it could possibly have been repaired, let alone come marching in that room all fine and dandy...the power packs alone took six months of work, and the electrical shorts when the suit crashed completely fried them...

But let's say that Second Crew did get it repaired and working; after all, they handled the final details of construction...that only leaves one glaring question. Well, two, actually.

How could they have repaired it so fast? Or was there a second hard suit made? If so, why? Did Herself have one made as well? But that doesn't make any sense...how could there be another construction crew we didn't see? Or was the first hard suit only a prototype for a more advanced model? Either way, most important (and disturbing) of all, who the frack was in that hard suit?

Everyelf's saying Santa's fine, they're all glib about it; everyelf goes on and on about it...but they're forgetting that none of them have actually SEEN Santa.

And I've seen Herself marching around here lately...as hateful as she's been, as cold as ice she's been, it's as if she's about to explode, like something terrible is welling up inside her...she marches around with her face set, not a muscle moving, like she wants to scream and cry and fly apart...and yet she's got this icy calm about her, holding it all together...

...Scary...

I have the greatest respect for Herself.

Whatever she's hiding must be terrible. I do hope Santa's really all right. I don't buy all these too-glib explanations flying around. It really could have been him in the suit; if he's not as well as advertised and is recovering from injuries, that hard suit is really the safest and best place for him, healthwise.

Things that make ya go...hmmmmmm...  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 123
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
10:50am

Wow, SPEECH! Santa is a great man! I must work extra hard to bring good lau-unch for the elves today!

Today, we will have a variety of dishes from WOKz my SOKz. I hope everyone likes it.  

[saphira_legend]

[ Message temporarily off-line ]  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 101
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
11:05am

I've always known that Santa Claus was a great man... but boy I never knew how GREAT he was until today. eek

You should've seen it! Santa towered over all of us elves!! A man like that deserves our respect and attention! He came out into the auditorium and gave this awesome speech that got everyone cheering! domokun

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!! SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!!!

gosh I LOVE WORKING AT A SECRET ARCTIC TEST FACILITY!!! heart heart  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 977
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
12:59pm

if one focuses on the external one is prone to judgment .. trapped in the illusions of the mind .. do not look outside for what is real .. instead look inside.

Mr Claus spoke to us today .. i still feel empty and afraid .. perhaps i will seek council with him this evening .. if only he wasn't so busy.  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 912
Tuesday November 15, 2005 ~ 1:50pm

GOOD MORNING!!! besides my annoyingly, interrupted sleep last night (weird loud noise of some kind, maybe cats going through the toy scraps again ), i woke up to a wonderful COLD morning. i LOVE snow!!! i LOVE eating ice!!! CRUNCHY CRUNCHY YUM YUM!!!... ooh i'm hungry, better get something to eat and take my meds after...don't want my mind runnin in circles. Oh i hope we have a yummy lunch like yesterday's NEO pizza...except for the white ranch that was splattered everywhere! evil good thing i brought some fruit snacks and candy with me just in case. 3nodding