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 Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 6:01 pm
Abel watched Talen as the boy expressed just exactly how much Abel frustrated him. Throughout his lecture Abel's eyes darkened and were drained of color. He felt like he had heard those words before, from another mouth, from another time. The dejavu of hearing them made his heart ache. His eyes narrowed, not from anger, but pain, and he quickly looked away when Talen started to yell again.
After the boy turned and left, Abel felt his legs weaken. He knew every word Talen had said from the moment Abel caught him outside was true, every single word, but he refused to let himself realize it. He didn't want to realize it, and that was what held him back from truly getting close to anyone. Why could he cry in front of Saul and not Talen? Was it because he was more afraid of disappointing Talen or was it that he was too afraid to let Talen in on his down falls, on another Abel that perhaps Talen would not want to know?
Silently he sat down on the stairs and leaned forward, rubbing his hands over his face in a tired gesture. There was too much to think about, too much he felt. In a split second decision, one that he was sure would make no sense at all, he walked into the kitchen, grabbed one of the plates of food, and walked upstairs. He stood at the door, hands tightening before opening it up. The scene made his nerves on end and he walked up to Talen, shoved the plate harshly towards him, turned around, and let his back face the room, knowing if he had to look at any of that mess he'd completely freak out.
"Eat it." He said, voice strained. "You're right. Everything you've said is completely right. I've just always denied myself any chance to get close to people. I try to make people happy without truly letting them know me, because honestly...I'm terrified of people knowing me. I get sick to my stomach if they ask me questions about myself or try to understand who I am. So I smile and brush it aside. I try to make it look like nothing is wrong so they won't even start to ask questions, so I can avoid confrontation." Closing his eyes he put a hand to them and lowered his head. "I run away from any problem that I face. If it is anyone else's problems, I'm fine with confronting them, like your problems...I want to confront them, to make them better, yet when it comes to myself I get scared and hide from them. I try to forget things that could present problems, and avoid new things that could make them...and that's letting people get close to me..." He stopped and felt his hands trembling, stomach clenching.
"I want to be close to someone again. When I had that closeness with one person I felt completely happy. They KNEW me...and they still loved me...but I ruined it just when it got good..." He laughed weakly and let his legs weaken underneath him, sending him into a kneeling position on the floor. "I want it, but I tell myself I can't have it, because I'll hurt them..."
((LALA I GOTTA HURRY CAUSE LIE TO ME IS ON RIGHT NOW.))
Lilith raised her brows when Saul woke up and she looked down to her food. "Definitely not yours, you have to get your own." She pulled it closer to her and took another bite. "It's in the kitchen...Abel made us all breakfast."
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 9:55 am
((BEFORE WORK POST. GO. GO GOOOOO.))
Talen had been lying on his back across his bed. His hands were clasped behind his head, and his eyes had been to the ceiling. It was the only place he could see what colour his walls were painted, and then in the middle, just above the head of his bed, was a skylight. He had always liked to imagine since he was very small, that he had his own bit of sky caught in the ceiling. Staring at it now, made him shut his eyes tightly and roll onto his side, hands tucked close to his chest.
When Abel opened the door he glanced over his shoulder just in time to see a plate of breakfast shoved at his back and then Abel turn quickly the other way and retreat. Talen pushed himself into a sit and raised his eyebrows. He was completely quiet as he spoke, his expression solemn and sad.
When he finished he slowly raised himself from his bed and then sat with his back pressed into Abel's. "You know," He said softly, "It's alright." Was all he could say, felt like it was the only thing he could say and for right now all he did was let Abel know he was right there.
He balanced the plate of breakfast on his knee and took a bite out of a strip of bacon. "And this totally offends me... you know... bacon? It's like, the most offensive thing you could serve a jew. Where have you BEEN?"
((...lololololol.))
Saul grunted. "Not even going to shaaare?" He rolled over several times, got to his feet in a tangle of blanket and tumbled towards the kitchen, groping with his fingers.
Alice lifted her head a little and squinted at Lilith. "We have bacon?"
((hahahahah, OKAY. WORK TIME.))
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 10:32 am
((AHAHA. Abel is trying to poison the Jews. He is German after all. I think his heritage is kicking in.
*is horrible* Haha.))
Abel breathed in when Talen got up and sat down behind him. He tensed slightly at the feeling of his friend's back up against his. As the boy told him it was alright, Abel smiled weakly and lowered his head, rubbing his knees absently. When Talen told him about the bacon, he laughed a bit and shrugged. "For being Jewish, you sure don't act like it." He joked slightly, though it felt empty. "Sorry..."
After a few moment he pulled his knees from under him and rest his head upon them, fingers picking at the carpet beneath him. He unfolded his wings a little more and rubbed his head. "My mom used to cook breakfast on Saturdays every once in a while. She'd make everything in the kitchen she could find. I remember smelling it and getting really excited. So I'd run to the kitchen as fast as I could. I loved watching her because she looked so happy whenever she cooked. She looked like my mother. But one time I slipped on the wood and ran into her. She ended up dropping a pan full of sausage. My mom didn't cook breakfast after that..."
His fingers pulled at some of the carpet, eyes watching the fabric stretch out. A soft smile was on his face. "I could never quite make everything as good as her. Everything I tried making was either too bland, too salty, too soft, or too hard. Nothing ever matched what she expected." He became quiet as he felt his jaw tighten and his eyes water. Talking about her made him both angry and sad. How long had it been so he'd heard her or seen her?
"The last words I said to her was that I hated her. I never got to tell her how much I loved when she cooked or when she'd smile. I was just so overruled by all the things she did that I absolutely loathed, that I never really saw what she did for me..."
Lilith looked up when Alice lifted her own head. She raised her brows and smiled. "Yeah. Bacon's the best. Dead pig, can't beat it...though dead cow sometimes is just the absolute best. A nice hunk of muscle. Mmmmmmm." She said it all with such a straight face it could have been either a joke or the truth. "Abel must have found it somewhere..." She muttered over a mouth of eggs.
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 4:17 pm
((MEOW. And baaaahahahh, bad Abel BAAAD.))
Talen grinned at his remark of his jewish heritage. "Yeah, well, sorry, I'll make sure to grow up to be a nice jewish doctor or lawyer to make up for the fact I sneak packages of bacon under Alice's nose into our refrigerator." He laughed. "I can't help it, man, bacon is AMAZING." He stuck another chewy bit in his mouth and then chewed more slowly at Abel's apology.
When he began to speak about his mother he became very quiet. He smiled when it was appropriate. "Nothing better than a big breakfast on a Saturday." Talen said softly and then breathed out a slow steady breath as he finished. He placed his plate away from himself.
He drew himself up and rested his hands on either knee. "You know Abel... when my mom was going." He spoke easily, without a catch in throat or any tears to his eyes. "I'd tell her everyday how much she meant. Everyday." He nodded, slowly. "You know what she always said?" He glanced back at his friend. He smiled in that kind way that fit his face so well. "She always told me 'I know'." He lightly gripped Abel's shoulder. "Mother's, Abel... they know."
((LOLOL OKAY.))
Alice made a face at Lilith. "Ew." Is all she would say of that as she pushed herself up into a sit. She scrubbed at her face. "Guess Talen has been sneaking bacon again... that turd." She grumbled.
Saul emerged from the kitchen with two plates. "I brought you one." He said, smiling softly and sat it on Alice's lap.
"Thanks." She smiled.
Saul nodded and took a seat by Lilith, leaning slightly on her shoulder. "Unlike some people, I saved you the trip." And he grinned at Lilith to let her know he was joking.
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 7:23 pm
Abel looked up when Talen spoke up. His blue eyes watched the other boy and he slowly turned his head, shaking it a bit at the words being said. He wanted to believe them, wanted to say that Talen was right, that his mother knew everything there was Abel had to say to her, always wished he had said, wished he had done, wished he hadn't done. But he didn't.
"Your mom sounds like a really nice person." He said quietly and put a hand to his head. "I wish I could say my mother was too. I mean, she was, when she wasn't being the opposite." His eyes dulled slightly as he rubbed at his eyes and took a slow breath. The pain of talking about his parents at all made him uneasy, shaky, and nervous. There was still that fear that he'd say something wrong, do something that he would regret. "I always saw this look in her eyes that said she was caged. That our house was this giant cage that was holding her back from being something amazing. She'd always look out the window with this distant, almost painful look. Kind of like she'd look at me. I knew she didn't want to be a mother. Any woman who wants to be a mother doesn't do any of the things she did. They care. They at least look at you like their child, not just another human being to pay for or to put under your roof."
He rubbed his eyes again and bit at his lower lip. "I like to think she loved me. Or at least she loved me during those times she'd be HER. When she wasn't a walking corpse, complaining, yelling, and getting angry at every little single thing someone did wrong. I always tried to do what she wanted, but she never seemed to care. She'd either ignore everything or just look at me with those trapped eyes. Even after I..." He stopped and swallowed, the word on his tongue seeming foreign, like it wasn't reality. Just thinking about the word made images flash in his mind.
"Even after I...I died...she did those stupid things. But it got worse. My mother and my father would fight even more and it would get even more...harsh. After I...passed...I finally realized how she felt all those years. Being trapped. I would watch them constantly, try to figure them out, try to understand why they did those things they did that always angered me or upset me. The more I tried the more angry and frustrated I got. I even tried to talk to them, touch them, anything, and I couldn't do a thing. I was stuck there watching and waiting for some sort of realization to come, something to make my life that I had left behind worth something, to mean something to me." He stopped and shook his head, clenching his teeth as the pain settled in. "The realization I came to was that they were never meant to care for someone else. They never planned on having an extra mouth to feed. They were already so screwed up as it was. When I came it just made everything worse."
His shoulders trembled and he hissed in some breath, anger rising in his chest, his hands getting warmer. "I'm sorry...I...I don't know why I am even saying any of this. It's all so foolish." He said shakily, trying to hold his breaths. He glanced up, rubbing at his cheeks and eyes still. "You finished your food...that's good."
((Hahaha emo. Gosh. Go put some eyeliner on and cut yourself.))
Lilith shrugged at Alice and finished off the rest of her food. "Good for him. Bacon is good, as I said. I think rules are just a bunch of nonsense. God, or Allah...whatever it is you guys believe in shouldn't care about what you eat. I mean seriously. It's food, don't waste it. If there's a dead baby just laying around and your starving, I say go for it. It's dead already...and something's gonna eat it, might as well make it a human instead of an animal." She looked up when Saul came back in and sat down next to her.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm selfish, you know that. I need to satisfy my mortal needs before I start doing favors for others." She pat her stomach and leaned back, licking her dark lips. "So what's on the agenda today?"
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Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 6:44 am
((Hopefully I can post by tonight at least D: I'm sorry I've been sucking so hardcore. End of quarter is KILLING ME SOFTLY.
Also: I'M EXCITED YOU GUYS GOT "SNOW". Did you get off school? COS THAT'S MOST EXCELLENT.))
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Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 7:02 am
((Haha it's okay, I can understand my love.
And yes we did! Everyone texted me EARLY in the morning while I was trying to sleep. My phone kept buzzing and I was like "AGH." But yeah. Haha everyone was real excited because we though we weren't getting today off, since our country is a real butt when it comes to going to school...
And I just woke up. xD ))
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Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 3:24 pm
((HAHAHAH, THAT'S EXCELLENT. Yeah. It's basically snowing EVERYWHERE except here! AH WELL. *laughs*
I AM HAPPY FOR YOU AND YOUR SLUSHY SNOW.))
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Posted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 9:12 am
((.. WHAT?! WHAT IS THIS?! COULDN'T POSSIBLY... NO.... I THINK... I THINK IT IS.
IT'S A POST. NO. FRICKIN'. WAY.))
Talen slowly frowned more deeply as Abel went on. He tugged at the ends of his hair, and stirred restlessly at his back. Quirking his mouth when the angel had finished he glanced at Abel, turning his head to watch his profile.
"I don't know why people do the things they do, Abel. I don't know why your parents would have a kid only to do that to him... but you know, it's okay to hate them. Not completely. You don't have to hate everything, but you can hate them for what they did and still love them." He paused, rubbed at his face. "I hate my dad." He admitted. "But I love that he's mine... does that make sense? I mean. I can't... hate my dad... not... completely, but I hate him for what he did to me, to Alice... to my mom. He couldn't handle it... you know." He turned away. "Losing her.
"People do selfish things, Abel. It's alright to be mad."
((THERE.))
Alice mad a face at Lilith. She wrinkled her nose and smiled nervously. "... uh... huh." She agreed faintly. "Sure."
Saul just laughed to himself as he ate his breakfast. Alice didn't seem too ready to eat at the moment.
"The agenda?" Alice wondered thoughtfully. "Hopefully today will be a lot easier than the days lately. Geesh. Talk about drama."
Saul shook his head. "It's too bad, huh?"
"Yeah." Alice sighed, and took a bite of her eggs.
((OKAY. DONE.))
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Posted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 7:00 pm
Abel rest his head against his knees, listening to Talen talk. Somehow, just listening to the boy made things feel a little easier. There was someone else who could relate to his own problems, someone else who understood, and that made it less burdening. "I know...I don't hate them. I don't. I just hate the things they did. I know they loved me...they just weren't ready. They didn't know how to handle it I guess." He said softly and looked towards Talen as he turned around so he could face him. He did his best to ignore the clutter around him, even if there was still that creeping claustrophobic feeling on his skin.
"Thanks." He said, taking a soft breath. "And I'm sorry. For being like I am. I'm no better than anyone else. I can't help being over bearing or distant...I just...I don't like being paid attention to. I can't handle people worrying about me." He smiled a bit and tilted his head. "But I'm glad someone does. Even if I don't really feel comfortable...it still feels a bit better to know someone is actually worried about me."
Downstairs, Lilith watched Alice with that blank face and then looked towards Saul. "Drama, huh." She muttered and flipped her hair a bit as she looked towards the ceiling. "I consider it normal." Before anyone could ask if she was kidding or being honest, the door bell rang. Her green eyes flickered towards the hallway and she raised her brows. She didn't get the feeling of Cain. She could have said if it was him if he were a mile away.
"Let me get it." She responded and stood up, slowly so Saul wouldn't fall off her shoulder. Her feet hardly made a sound against the floor as she moved to the door. When she opened it up she was faced with a chest covered by a white shirt.
It wasn't a flat chest either. It was kind of large, larger than her own anyways, which wasn't really saying much. Her eyes moved up a little and then saw a gorgeous face looking down at her. Oriental eyes watched her, in their orbs was a mixture of orange, green, and yellow. The face to match it was slightly round, with smooth features, a flat nose, and full lips. A black head of hair ran just past the woman's shoulders. She was wearing a white shirt and a black skirt with simple black shoes.
"Hey." The woman said simply, a smile on her lips that seemed mockingly polite. "Is there a boy named Abel here?" To be saying 'boy' seemed rather hypocritical of her since she seemed no older than 19, just about the same age as Abel, Talen, Saul, and Lilith. "I want to talk to him."
"This isn't my house." Lilith retorted, almost as mockingly.
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Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 3:07 pm
((UH. WHAT THE HELL.))
Talen grinned at his friend as he turned to face him. "It's alright. I forgive you for being a total over bearing, distant emotional repressing freak." He grinned wider to let him know he was joking. "I wouldn't have you any other way, Abel." He touched him lightly on his shoulder.
"Well. I'm still hungry... did you make extra bacon?" He stood up and offered Abel a hand up. "Because this jew isn't done making his people cry in shame just yet."
When the doorbell rang Alice started to get up to get it, but Lilith said instead she would. Saul sat up and watched her go. He exchanged a look with Alice and they both shrugged. Hearing the conversation that went on however, Alice quickly stumbled to her feet and to the door. She fixed her hair as she went, straightening her clothes to make it seem less like she had only just slept in them and only just a few minutes ago joined the world of the wakeful.
When she saw the young woman who was at the door Alice's smile sort of half froze, unsure. Her hands dropped from her hair. "Hello." She said in the best polite voice she could muster, but her eyes were searching this woman intently. "And who might you be?"
Saul stood back in the hall and looked curious.
((UH. I POSTED. CRAZY.))
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Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 8:22 pm
Abel smiled softly as Talen grinned and stood up. "Well, that's a relief...I'm not sure it's easy for me to change." He rubbed at his head before takking Talen's hand and pulling himself up. He stopped when he heard the door bell ring and made a concerned face.
The woman looked towards Alice when she saw her walk into the door way. "Good Morning." She said in reply and smiled. It was a strangely welcoming smile, but something about it seemed unsure. "Oh, my name Yanmei. But you can just call me Mei, it's much easier and it gets rid of any confusion people have over how to pronounce it. The joys of being foreign, right?" She rolled her eyes and looked towards the stairs, as if she knew who was up there.
"I wanted to talk to Abel. We don't really have to go through the hidden motives or secrecy since I already know he did a very swell job of letting the world know." She said sarcastically and tilted her head. "Can I come in?"
Lilith took a step away, letting Alice handle it and she stood beside Saul, her eyes seemed a bit darker as she watched Mei, a strange intensity in their depths. "I don't know what she is." She whispered to Saul. She should have figured out if she was a demon, angel, or even a human by just her scent...but Mei did not smell like anything...there was an absence of it.
Abel frowned when he heard Yanmei's voice and he put a hand to his face. "Oh man...she's worse than Gabriel..." He muttered and looked to Talen, brows pulling up into the most pitiful expression. "Maybe she won't know I'm here."
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Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 8:21 pm
((IMMA POST AGAIN. NOWAI.))
Alice smiled as politely as she could. "Yeah. Well... Okay, Mei." She followed Mei's gaze and seemed uncomfortable. "I'm Alice." She said in an unsure voice and then she gave a startled laugh. "Yeah... well..." She peered at this woman curiously, not sure wether to trust her or not. Lilith didn't seem alarmed, and for whatever reason she felt that since she wasn't she didn't have to be either.
"Alright." She said moving aside to grant her access. "What do you... want him for?" She furrowed her brow. "If you're going to bother him... I might have to try and stop you." And she laughed a little.
Saul leaned towards Lilith when she whispered to him. He frowned, watching Mei with tired eyes. "Is that good or bad?" He wanted to know.
Talen frowned at his friend. "Who...? Who is worse than Gabriel?" Talen seemed very grumpy about this... there couldn't possibly be someone he disliked more than Gabriel.
((WHEEEEEEEE.))
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 5:46 pm
Mei took a step inside with a smile and nodded politely, closing the door behind her. "I won't bother him, unless he lets it bother him. I'm just here to see the damage. His mentors are currently busy fixing his mistakes and trying to correct certain matters, and since I get the dirty work, I was sent here to determine what condition he's in and see exactly what happened...in his own words." She glanced towards Lilith who was staring at her.
Lilith shrugged a bit at Saul. "I honestly don't know. But she doesn't seem to want to do any harm..." She whispered to Saul and looked away from Mei finally. "But she looks like a b***h." She finally said a bit louder, and turned around to walk back to the living room.
Mei raised a brow with an amused smile before looking up the stairs.
Abel looked at Talen and shook his head. "I guess I shouldn't say that, it's rude. But...she's got a reputation for being...for taking different ways towards things..." He winced, trying to figure out what to say before he heard Mei.
"Come down here, Abel Noah." She finally said. Abel bit his lower lip and turned towards the stairs. He started down them and stopped when he saw Mei. Her face darkened and she walked over to him. She snatched his wrist and pulled him downstairs harshly. He stumbled before she corrected his balance.
"Ow..." He mumbled, avoiding eye contact.
"OW?!" She said loudly and pushed his chin up to stare him in the eyes. "You look like a rotten peach or something! You've got bruises and burns everywhere! Look at your face! That black eye! And YOUR WINGS! You ruined them!" She walked around him and pulled them up from their limp position. Abel gasped a little and winced, but said not a word. "They said it was bad, but I wasn't expecting to see you so...so...pitiful looking!" She came in front of him and was in a snarl. "I'll kill that b*****d. After I kill you for being so..." She stopped at the look on his face, his head tilting down. She took a step back and looked at him, turning her attention to Talen, seemingly to be approving of him, she looked back.
"Abel...come here..." She said softly and he took a few steps forward, head still down. She pulled him into a hug and put her head against his. "Who's the cute guy?" She said into his ear, causing Abel to snort. "They said you had a friend, but not a cute one." She glanced at Talen again and grinned.
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Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 7:49 am
((EHN. QUICK. POST. LIKE THE WIND.
And hahaha, your post made me go: HEHEHE.))
Alice slowly nodded her head, not seeing any reason to stop her for what she came for. "Alright." She said, still sounding a little hesitant. She ran a hand through her hair, looking a little worn out. "I think... I think maybe I'll finish my breakfast." She said to no one in particular and returned to the kitchen to do just that.. and drink some coffee to settle her nerves.
Saul raised his eyebrows and then shrugged to indicate he wouldn't know any better about her intentions and then made a sort of snorting noise at her next comment. He flushed through his pale face and looked to Mei. "I'm sure she didn't mean that."
He was sure she meant that.
He stood there briefly wondering if he should apologize for her, but quickly felt awkward and shy in this woman's presence. He retreated after Lilith to the living room... where it was safe.
Talen frowned. "A different... way?" He furrowed his brow and was going to say more, but then a voice called up the stairs. It sounded nice enough. He moved to the top of the stairs to watch Abel descend them and then nearly had a panic attack when the young woman tugged him down the stairs, but relaxed when she saved him from falling. He made his way down halfway, listening as this woman when on.
Alice was peeking out from the kitchen, eyebrows raised. Talen looked back to his sister and they exchanged a look.
"She sounds like YOU." Alice mouthed and Talen made a face at her.
"Well, then we can double team Cain." He snapped and then turned back. He found that her eyes were on him. He blinked and rubbed at the back of his neck. This was strange, he never felt this uncomfortable before. He cleared his throat loudly, and seemed unaware.
"You know, you shouldn't be so hard on him." Talen said. "The guys had a rough time of it... and I mean, he wouldn't get into so much trouble if I wasn't a hassle... so you know... uh. Something." Those words had sounded a lot better in his head. "Who's cute?" He frowned and looked behind him.
((hahahaha, Talen is confused. Poor dear.))
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