Special Agent Dana Scully
When I first realized I was gay...It's an odd story to say the least.
I was 14 when I first started having dreams about being with women. The star performer in said dreams was Madonna. Yes, you heard me, Madonna. Boys were always boring to me. I had no interest in them at all. The girls I was surrounded by were...well, stupid. All they seemed to care about was make-up, dresses, parties and boys. It was annoying. Madonna had a brain. She had (IMO) talent. She made comments on social and political issues. Thus, I thought she was wonderful and I dreamt constantly about her. heart heart
Of course, with no other examples of women dating other women, my little crush on Madonna made me nervous. So I asked my mother if people liking other people who were the same gender was okay. She told me that it was called homosexuality and it didn't exist. eek Yep, you heard me right. She said it was made up by people who made pornography. *sigh* After that, I pretty much threw myself into dating boys. And kissing boys. And by age 16, sleeping with boys. And being thoroughly miserable with it all. I was certain I was insane. I actually woke up every morning and wondered if the "white-coat guys" would show up at school to finally take me to an insane asylum. I had friends who I knew were different the way I was, boys I hung out with because they loved Madonna too, but they were just as afraid to admit how they felt as I was. xp
A year later, I found out just why my mother told me what she did. /She/ was gay. I lived with her and her lover of six years and had no /idea/ that they were together. She was terrified that I'd end up gay if I found out about them so she did everything she could to make sure I'd be straight...oops? stare Despite all her well intentioned lies, I had my first kiss, first sexual experience and first relationship (lasted three years) with one of her close friends...double oops. xd From that moment on, I have been a very out lesbian. No more closets for me, no matter what the consequences. wink
I was 14 when I first started having dreams about being with women. The star performer in said dreams was Madonna. Yes, you heard me, Madonna. Boys were always boring to me. I had no interest in them at all. The girls I was surrounded by were...well, stupid. All they seemed to care about was make-up, dresses, parties and boys. It was annoying. Madonna had a brain. She had (IMO) talent. She made comments on social and political issues. Thus, I thought she was wonderful and I dreamt constantly about her. heart heart
Of course, with no other examples of women dating other women, my little crush on Madonna made me nervous. So I asked my mother if people liking other people who were the same gender was okay. She told me that it was called homosexuality and it didn't exist. eek Yep, you heard me right. She said it was made up by people who made pornography. *sigh* After that, I pretty much threw myself into dating boys. And kissing boys. And by age 16, sleeping with boys. And being thoroughly miserable with it all. I was certain I was insane. I actually woke up every morning and wondered if the "white-coat guys" would show up at school to finally take me to an insane asylum. I had friends who I knew were different the way I was, boys I hung out with because they loved Madonna too, but they were just as afraid to admit how they felt as I was. xp
A year later, I found out just why my mother told me what she did. /She/ was gay. I lived with her and her lover of six years and had no /idea/ that they were together. She was terrified that I'd end up gay if I found out about them so she did everything she could to make sure I'd be straight...oops? stare Despite all her well intentioned lies, I had my first kiss, first sexual experience and first relationship (lasted three years) with one of her close friends...double oops. xd From that moment on, I have been a very out lesbian. No more closets for me, no matter what the consequences. wink
lol ^^ guess your moms plan didnt work
