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 Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:05 pm
-Nestles into the fabric, nuzzles Cheshire-
Warmth..
Oh? Thanks, Madara. -Nibbles-
Sorry, Eno. D:
(I love how everyone loves my icon. <3 Kaddy did a fabulous job.)
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:05 pm
Yeah but I don't get Cheshi's advice really.
It's fine Kelbel.
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:07 pm
^^" Thankies for the tip, Kelbel.
>w> I'm surprised that everyone likes it...
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:07 pm
[I didn't get the big chunk of eno's story that made it separate from every other kingdom thing. I'll go re-read in a minute usually takes me a couple of tries.]
-fluffs up-
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:09 pm
I told you what needed to change, did I not? The Kindoms.
There are multiple places. Not only would that make it difficult to remember everywhere, there would be people accidentally stumbling into eachother from miles away. It get frustrating. I think the most I've seen were
Velaista, Farbton, and Grau. And the three alone became confusing.
Like Cheshy said, it would require too many people, that would lead to a very slow start. And it would also inevitably mean there would have to be people alone in one place until another decided to join them.
But the kings fears ect. I think that has real promise. I'd be crushed if you changed it too much.
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:09 pm
-sits- Well I am off night all..
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:11 pm
There are no kingdoms; they're history. Didn't you get that? They're all in one place at the moment. They're plotting to RESTORE the kingdoms. Most of this was backstory.
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:11 pm
["the rest of the kingdoms swiftly fell to ruin, their Kings and Queens being destroyed in a massive rise up from the lower class. However, the various Princes and Princesses escaped by running into the Lost Wasteland. Several years later, the princes and princesses return to discover that their kingdoms have become ruins, abandoned saved for a small group of people in each."
Big quotation I know but I don't get this part. The nobles were run out but they came out only their kids got lost but they came back? Wouldn't they normally be killed especially with six houses x.x Thats a little awkward.
I don't get what you would have to do too convince villagers you're royalty or defeat an enemy? And what enemy? You said the random prince came out of nowhere slaughtered then died? Who's the bad guy just the collapse and ruin of these random people?]
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:11 pm
Nn.. >~< -Rolls over, cocoons self into the blanket-
No problem at all, Kaddy. <3 It was well deserved.
G'night, Madara. -Waves lazily-
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:12 pm
-pounces on lightly in a jerk- Blankie!
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:14 pm
Nobles sacrificed themselves to let them out. Everything was chaos, if they had stayed in their kingdoms they would have died, Wastelands best option... *shrugs* Maybe some of them ARE dead and these are the survivors. Like I said it needs refining; that includes clarifying things and streamlining unnecessary things.
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:14 pm
.. E-eek! >n-Wriggles her torso out, pushes him off-
Haha. I'm already lost as to what the Hell is going on in your story.
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:15 pm
=w=...I forgot about my tea...
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:16 pm
-starts to roll you back in the blanket and around the room-
[This RP seems better as a story x_x;
Or like you said needs a little work,but all RPs depend on the people in them~]
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:16 pm
WHICH IS WHY IT NEEDS REFINING. >>
I told you this little writing thing was crappy.
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