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I don't see why you think you're doing anything wrong, KB.

That's what paladins are for.

Ruining bad player's games.

While you are oogling Jake I am bleeding to death! Pif some medic you are >>

wahmbulance

This sounds pretty amusing, actually. Recreate this rant.

It's a red zone I've ALWAYS wanted to enter.

I've wanted to play a conjuration specialist with a red cap since I was three and pokemon didn't even exist.

I only got to play straight tabletop D&D one time, in 4.0. So right off the bat, my experience was doomed, but damn if I wasn't gonna try.

Ranger. That's right, ******** ranger.

The DM was a d**k. A train was halted by some goblins and my character being in the farthest cart from the front where the goblins were at, I figured running there every chance I got would be good.

Turns out my friends were dicks too, because they sipped tea and played grab-a** as my character managed to get there first. "Alright, AoE move time to initiate on this one, I'm sure my friends'll get their characters to -"

1.

A ******** 1.

So as my character gets beaten within an inch of his life, they're still sipping tea and literally groping one-another's asses. Great. Well, here's my character's death, time for a saving roll. Man, what a horrible way to end my fir-

20.

"..Wow! What great luck. biggrin " My character survived!

[Flash this forward 3 ******** hours later.]

I've rolled so many 20's, I finally demanded to roll the dice myself, and still I get 20's. It was RNG so there's no way it was loaded, other people rolled them and got 11 and s**t. My character had became a death tank, surviving s**t nothing this side of the void should as he stood there and took it to the face failing to epic ******** levels.

I wanted to die. I begged the god of my particular religion "Please, I never ask for much, I even kicked an animal not long ago but, let my character die. Please."

20! 20! 20!

.. and that's how I learned to hate Grapple.

I should've clarified: I made them roll for me at one point, then took back over when I realized it did no good.

I would've let my cat roll if it meant my character would die.

Let's put it this way, the IRL personalities and conflicts were directly transplanted to the game. So instead of dealing with the juvenile b***h who gets her way IRL, we had to deal with her as the central character with all the invincibility of the "DM Character". Now, there are two types of DM characters. The one that hangs back a bit and is there as a casual diversion for the DM, or a mentor ( they basically give the DM ongoing direct interaction but don't misguide the story or take over ) and the invincible alter-ego of the DM that has all the power of god ( since the DM is effectively god ).

Guess which one I had.

We played modern. An elf was magically transported there. He could outshoot my trained sniper with his bow. He was her ex IRL. He was cool, and he wouldn't kill your character off... so I dealt with it. He's a friend of mine.

So later we're chilling, and new character drives up in his car. We're in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, so we're all oogling his car. She decides since she's the leader of this clan of bottom-feeding superleet hoodrats that she's going to steal it. He gives her the finger and drives off.

What a waste of time.

Later, my character discovers the -actual- leader of our ragtag group is in a coma, and that this stupid b***h just took over the spot for the hell of it. My character is pretty predictable, so she goes to remove the life support ( which would effectively kill the "first" and cause the title to move appropriately to the stupid b***h, instead of keeping her a living vegetable for... no reason ). She is instructed not to, and storms off.

So head-b***h tells her, stop! And she doesn't. So head b***h shoots her in the back with these super poison bullets that kill her in one round. ( again, we're scavengers? Why do we have all these things, like hackers who are 13 year old girls that can take out the trained computer techs in the "safe" parts of the world that survived the big scene unscathed?" )

I digress. It was about two days later the same DM was begging me to play the character again, saying all this s**t about how she could have survived and how cool she was. I just kept telling her "Sorry, no, she's dead. You killed her." to get the point through.

The point? D&D is a game for everyone. You're supposed to go and do things, have fun, eat some pizza and roll some dice. It's not an excuse for you to ******** monologue for 5 hours because your failed life.

I digress.

PALADINS! heart