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 Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2005 6:13 pm
*Cid is in leather spandex and a nazi hat*
Cid: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh Santaaaaaaaaaaa. heart blaugh
*Barret comes out of the bathroom door with a santa claus suit and a whip*
Cid: *seductive voice* Oh Santa. I've been a naughty boy this year and I need a good spanking
Barret: Okay, just pull your spandex down and lay on my belly.
*Cid lies on Barret's belly*
Barret: Now what would you like for Christmas, little boy?
Cid: I want you, Santa. wink heart
Barret: Oh Cid. You are one big Hoe, Hoe, Hoe. lol heart
Cid: I would also like some sodo-
*Cloud walks in*
Cid:-my. sweatdrop eek
Barret: eek
Cloud: eek
*Cloud slowly backs out of the room*
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Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 4:24 pm
Cloud: *runs in and glomps Barret* SUNKIST!!
Barret: MD!! *hugs and slobbery kisses*
Everyone Else: confused Since when was Cloud's name Mountain Dew?
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 1:56 am
Deaths Apprentice Cloud: *runs in and glomps Barret* SUNKIST!! Barret: MD!! *hugs and slobbery kisses* Everyone Else: confused Since when was Cloud's name Mountain Dew? ???
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 5:28 am
Sen Akumu ShadowLord99 Cloud: Observe my friends, as I swallow a Fire materia! smile Everyone: Ooooh, aaaaah... eek Cloud: (takes the Fire materia and tries chewing it but its too hard so he has to swallow it whole) Cloud: *GAG* CHOKING, HELP! eek (ambulance arrives) Director: OMFG Cloud, its this one your supposed to swallow (holds up a penny sized Fire materia), not this one! (holds up a Fire materia the size of a big boulder) Do the scene again! mad Cloud: Observe my good friends, I am about to swallow this Fire materia! smile Everyone: Ooooh, aaaah... eek Cloud: (puts the penny sized Fire materia into his mouth, he can't chew it either so he has to swallow it whole. He does.) Cloud: TA-DAH!! blaugh Everyone: YAY!! blaugh Cloud: (bursts into flames) OHMYGODIMONFIRE! gonk The next day Cloud: (driving around town in his car he saved 15% of insurance on because he switched to Geico) Hey mutha fu**a, switch to Geico for god sakes!! (yelling at some random people walking down the street) scream Cloud: (goes to a strip club and meets Cait Sith and Sephiroth) w00t, look at all the sexy chicks! xd Cait Sith: Hi Cloud, I'm naked! whee Cloud: (takes off all his clothes) ME TOO! blaugh Sephiroth: GRRR...(stabs Cait Sith with Masamune) evil (Aeris' theme song starts playing) Cloud: (holding cait) Oh my god...what have you done!? sad Sephiroth: Do not worry, soon he will be part of the lifestream! Cloud: Shut up you strip club rapist, your cycle of life doesn't mean a thing! ...AW, SCREW THIS! rolleyes Cloud: (starts dancing like a gay freak) Everyone in the building: GO CLOUD, GO CLOUD, IT AINT YOUR BIRTHDAY, YOUR A RETARD, A RETARD, A RETARD! Sephiroth: PARTY! (starts dancing with Cloud) Everyone in the building: GO SEPHIROTH, GO SEPHIROTH, HOJO'S YO DADDY, YEAH HE IS, OH OH OH!! Sephiroth: WTF HE IS!!!? AAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! gonk (breaks down the wall and runs for his life) Cloud: No sephiroth! COME BAAAACKK!!!! *runs after him, still naked* Barret: Now who the hell's gonna erntertain us? Vincent: I will!! *strips* Cid: Oh my god what the hell is that? Random person: AHHHH!!! *gets eaten by something* Barret: eek *Cait Sith comes back to life* Cait Sith: HAHAHAHA, I'M A ZOMBIE, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! twisted Barret: Its November you idiot... stare Cait Sith: Whoops, sorry! sweatdrop *falls on the floor dead again* *Cloud and Seph are heard fighting outside...WHACK!* Cloud: MY CROTCH!! gonk Seph: YOUR CROTCH!! blaugh Cloud: SHUT UP! stressed *A group of teenage girls have gathered around Vincent at a table* Girl #1: You busy tonight? Vincent: Sorry, but I'm taken confused (saying sarcastically) Girl #2: I looove you Vince... heart Girl #3: Can I hold your gun? Vincent: (To girl #3) Um...sure, why not. Be careful with it though! (hands his gun to her) Girl #3: Oooh, pretty...What's this trigger thing do? Cait Sith 3: (walks in) Hi, I'm back! biggrin *BANG!*Girl #3: Oops, I think I shot Cait Sith 3 sweatdrop Vincent: That bullet was my mom's birthday present to me, WAAA!! gonk Cait Sith 3: I'm...still...ALIVE! (his health bar: .0000000005/9999 Vincent: Wow you should be a math teacher. Cloud: My crotch feels good now! smile (he walks in with Seph clinging to his legs) Seph: Juicy Fruit, gimmie...! mad Tifa: Get outta here Seph! (kicks him really hard out of the bar and he goes flying through the air) Seph: JUST MISSED THAT COOKIE CRISP!! gonk
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 12:18 pm
* [satan]'s cut scene changer*
Today's scenario: If Aeris knew Ninjutsu
Sephiroth: Ha ha, Cloud, I have finally destroyed your true love.
Cloud: lol
Sephiroth: Why are you laughing...? confused *looks down to see who he stabbed*
CAIT SITH?!?!? But how...I saw...she was...and I...
Aeris: You are a fool Sephiroth. You have fallen for the substitution technique. surprised
Sephiroth: SAY WHA???!?!?!
Aeris: *beats Sephiroth to a bloody pulp with her staff*
Sephiroth: You're mean! crying
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 12:21 pm
[Satan] *Cid is in leather spandex and a nazi hat* Cid: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh Santaaaaaaaaaaa. heart blaugh *Barret comes out of the bathroom door with a santa claus suit and a whip* Cid: *seductive voice* Oh Santa. I've been a naughty boy this year and I need a good spanking Barret: Okay, just pull your spandex down and lay on my belly. *Cid lies on Barret's belly* Barret: Now what would you like for Christmas, little boy? Cid: I want you, Santa. wink heart Barret: Oh Cid. You are one big Hoe, Hoe, Hoe. lol heart Cid: I would also like some sodo- *Cloud walks in* Cid:-my. sweatdrop eek Barret: eek Cloud: eek *Cloud slowly backs out of the room*
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 2:21 pm
ShadowLord99 Sen Akumu ShadowLord99 Cloud: Observe my friends, as I swallow a Fire materia! smile Everyone: Ooooh, aaaaah... eek Cloud: (takes the Fire materia and tries chewing it but its too hard so he has to swallow it whole) Cloud: *GAG* CHOKING, HELP! eek (ambulance arrives) Director: OMFG Cloud, its this one your supposed to swallow (holds up a penny sized Fire materia), not this one! (holds up a Fire materia the size of a big boulder) Do the scene again! mad Cloud: Observe my good friends, I am about to swallow this Fire materia! smile Everyone: Ooooh, aaaah... eek Cloud: (puts the penny sized Fire materia into his mouth, he can't chew it either so he has to swallow it whole. He does.) Cloud: TA-DAH!! blaugh Everyone: YAY!! blaugh Cloud: (bursts into flames) OHMYGODIMONFIRE! gonk The next day Cloud: (driving around town in his car he saved 15% of insurance on because he switched to Geico) Hey mutha fu**a, switch to Geico for god sakes!! (yelling at some random people walking down the street) scream Cloud: (goes to a strip club and meets Cait Sith and Sephiroth) w00t, look at all the sexy chicks! xd Cait Sith: Hi Cloud, I'm naked! whee Cloud: (takes off all his clothes) ME TOO! blaugh Sephiroth: GRRR...(stabs Cait Sith with Masamune) evil (Aeris' theme song starts playing) Cloud: (holding cait) Oh my god...what have you done!? sad Sephiroth: Do not worry, soon he will be part of the lifestream! Cloud: Shut up you strip club rapist, your cycle of life doesn't mean a thing! ...AW, SCREW THIS! rolleyes Cloud: (starts dancing like a gay freak) Everyone in the building: GO CLOUD, GO CLOUD, IT AINT YOUR BIRTHDAY, YOUR A RETARD, A RETARD, A RETARD! Sephiroth: PARTY! (starts dancing with Cloud) Everyone in the building: GO SEPHIROTH, GO SEPHIROTH, HOJO'S YO DADDY, YEAH HE IS, OH OH OH!! Sephiroth: WTF HE IS!!!? AAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! gonk (breaks down the wall and runs for his life) Cloud: No sephiroth! COME BAAAACKK!!!! *runs after him, still naked* Barret: Now who the hell's gonna erntertain us? Vincent: I will!! *strips* Cid: Oh my god what the hell is that? Random person: AHHHH!!! *gets eaten by something* Barret: eek *Cait Sith comes back to life* Cait Sith: HAHAHAHA, I'M A ZOMBIE, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! twisted Barret: Its November you idiot... stare Cait Sith: Whoops, sorry! sweatdrop *falls on the floor dead again* *Cloud and Seph are heard fighting outside...WHACK!* Cloud: MY CROTCH!! gonk Seph: YOUR CROTCH!! blaugh Cloud: SHUT UP! stressed *A group of teenage girls have gathered around Vincent at a table* Girl #1: You busy tonight? Vincent: Sorry, but I'm taken confused (saying sarcastically) Girl #2: I looove you Vince... heart Girl #3: Can I hold your gun? Vincent: (To girl #3) Um...sure, why not. Be careful with it though! (hands his gun to her) Girl #3: Oooh, pretty...What's this trigger thing do? Cait Sith 3: (walks in) Hi, I'm back! biggrin *BANG!*Girl #3: Oops, I think I shot Cait Sith 3 sweatdrop Vincent: That bullet was my mom's birthday present to me, WAAA!! gonk Cait Sith 3: I'm...still...ALIVE! (his health bar: .0000000005/9999 Vincent: Wow you should be a math teacher. Cloud: My crotch feels good now! smile (he walks in with Seph clinging to his legs) Seph: Juicy Fruit, gimmie...! mad Tifa: Get outta here Seph! (kicks him really hard out of the bar and he goes flying through the air) Seph: JUST MISSED THAT COOKIE CRISP!! gonk Red XIII: *walks in* Hey guys wh- eek *slowly backs out of the room* Cid: Urge to kill rising... Barret: Oh crap! *runs to the other side of the bar* Cid: RAWR!! *massacres Cait Sith 3* Cait Sith 4: Hey guys! How's it going? I came to kill number 3! *sees Cait Sith 3* Damn you Cid! I wanted to kill him!! *beats Cid to a bloody pulp and then craps all over him* Yuffie: RAWR!!!! *Stands in the middle of the room* Girl#3: *shoots Yuffie* Whoops...
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 3:10 pm
Cloud: *attempting to pick up Emerald Weapon by its tail*
Sephiroth: You know... I don't think that Cloud understands that nobody can really use a sword that big. stare
Emerald: That's what I've been telling him! gonk
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 4:12 pm
Cloud:Alright Sephiroth and his gang are just over this hill, they got a nuke combined with the power of Jenova, the only way we can stop him is by shuving this grenade up his a**
Aeris:Ummmmm why up his a**? can't we just throw it next to him or something?
Cloud: NO! It has to be up his a** or it wont be funny!
Aeris:Uhhh I'm gonna sit this one out guys
Tifa: NO! IF YOU GO THEN ITS ONLY ME, CLOUD, AND BARRET
Aeris: Umm so what?
Tifa: THEY ARE GONNA OVER POWER ME AND DO STUFF TO ME WHILE I'M UNCONCSIOUS!
Aeris: They wouldn't do that
Cloud: Hmmmmmm *thinks for a minute*
Aeris: *slaps Cloud* Don't even think about it! scream
Barret: Hey were did everyone else go?
Cloud: Rude is getting sunglasses with x-ray vision, Rufus is getting hydrolics for his wheelchair, Vincent is stealing a Nintendo Revolution controller, Cid is pimping out his chocobo, Elena is on her day off, Zack is a zombie, Hojo is hanging on to the edge of the propellers of the Sierra by his underwear because he beat me at Soul Calibar III last night, Shion is probly jacking off, Cait Sith is probably prostituting because I took all his money at a Naruto Battle 3 tournament last night, and Reno and Yuffie are playing strip DDR
Barret: Strip DDR you say?
Cloud:Yes apparently Reno likes to keep his pimp hand strong in the form of a Konami video game
*on the other side of the hill*
Kadaj: Master Sephiroth the enemy forces are nearing shall we fire the nuke now?
Sephiroth: Hmmmmm *shuvs a Twix in his mouth* mhmhmhmmmhmh
Kadaj: What I didn't quite get that
Sephiroth mmm mhhmd mhmmmhmmmhhm
Cait Sith: *jumps in the middle of them* CHEW IT OVER WITH A TWIX!
Kadaj: Why are you here?
Cait Sith: the Twix company paid me
Loz: BOSS HE'S WEARING A WIRE!!
Kadaj: KILL HIM!!!
Cait Sith: Eeep
Yazoo: Now you die sucka *picks off Cait Sith's head with a SVD Dragonav Sniper Rifle*
Loz: Where did you get that?
Yazoo: Some dude cosplaying as Vash from trigun that ran a gun store at an anime con
Loz: Oh yea I remember that guy, he was the one with the huge porno stash
Yazoo: No that was the guy cosplaying as Kakashi at the ninja weapon booth
Loz: Oh yea
Kadaj: Master now shall we fire the nuke?
Sephiroth: GET ME ANOTHER TWIX!!!
*elsewhere*
Hojo: SOMEBODY GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!!
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Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 12:17 pm
Reno: Prepare for trouble.
Elena: And make that double.
Reno: To protect the world from devastation.
Elena: To unite all people within our nation.
Reno: To denounce the evils of truth and love.
Elena: To extend our reach to the stars above.
Elena: Jesse.
Reno: James.
Elena: Team Rocket, blast off to the speed of light.
Reno: Surrender now, or prepare to fight.
Rude: Meowth, that's right.
Cloud and Friends: ? eek ?
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Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:00 pm
[Satan] Reno: Prepare for trouble. Elena: And make that double. Reno: To protect the world from devastation. Elena: To unite all people within our nation. Reno: To denounce the evils of truth and love. Elena: To extend our reach to the stars above. Elena: Jesse. Reno: James. Elena: Team Rocket, blast off to the speed of light. Reno: Surrender now, or prepare to fight. Rude: Meowth, that's right. Cloud and Friends: ? eek ? Vincent: So um... Rude, are you really gonna let them have all the lines like that and abuse you?
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Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 9:37 am
Shouldn't that be:
Elena: Prepare for trouble.
Reno: And make that double.
Elena: To protect the world from devastation.
Reno: To unite all people within our nation.
Elena: To denounce the evils of truth and love.
Reno: To extend our reach to the stars above.
Elena: Elena!
Reno: Reno!
Elena: Team Shinra blast off at the speed of light.
Reno: Surrender now or prepare to fight.
Rude: Ruuude! That's right!
blaugh
Then Cloud has to say: "Oh no! The Turks! I never would've guessed that those innnocent people in disguise were them!" rofl
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Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:43 pm
[Satan] Reno: Prepare for trouble. Elena: And make that double. Reno: To protect the world from devastation. Elena: To unite all people within our nation. Reno: To denounce the evils of truth and love. Elena: To extend our reach to the stars above. Elena: Jesse. Reno: James. Elena: Team Rocket, blast off to the speed of light. Reno: Surrender now, or prepare to fight. Rude: Meowth, that's right. Cloud and Friends: ? eek ? Elena: What, People?!?! You act like you've never seen us cosplay before! Rude: Meowth, that's right. Elena: Did I say you could talk?!? Get back in your cage this instant!!! Rude: Ok. sad Elena: Did I tell you to go into your cage?!?! Rude: yes sad Elena:LIAR!! COME BACK OVER HERE THIS INSTANT!!! Rude: surprised Elena: Now, put on this elegant dress. Rude: *puts on the dress* Elena: *draws her gun* Now, dance. twisted Reno: *sigh* Vincent: You have to deal with tis crap every day? lol Reno: You don't know the half of it. stare
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Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 2:28 pm
Sephiroth is in the background, siping tea while Cloud and Zack are fighting for Aeris's attention.
Cloud: "Mine!"
Zack: "I saw her first! You just fell throug her roof!"
Cloud stressed : "Hey, i could kill you!"
Zack: "No you can't!! I am a first class SOLDIER!"
Cloud: "Eh? What'd you say? You wanna fight Zack?"
Zack, putting his fists up: "Bring it on, b***h!"
Zack and Cloud fist fight. Sephiroth puts down the tea and burries his face in his hands.
Sephiroth sweatdrop : "Ugh... And i trained both of them..."
~~~~~~~
At the 7th Heaven...
Barret: "Tifa, martini!"
Tifa: "You had enough. Lay off."
Barret hicupps: "MARTINI NOW!!!"
Tifa, handing him the bottle: "Have it all then."
Barret chugs it down. Cid sips tea.
Cid: "I don't get it. You get tea for me, but Shera can't move her slow a**. Why IS that?!"
Barret: "SHUT UP!!! CAN'T Y'ALL SEE I'M IN A DOWNWARD SLUMP?!!"
Cid: "What happened?"
Tifa: "He got charged for sexual assault on a 4-yer-old."
Barret: "SCREW THE ******** PLANET!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cid: "Silver haired guys AGAIN?!!"
Cloud: "Yeah, looks good on the resume."
Red 13: "Now i just need apossable thumbs. Then i can get a REAL job."
Tifa: "Yeah, this is getting older than Cid."
Cid: "I HEARD THAT!!! I MAY BE OLD, BUT I CAN STILL HEAR!!! stressed "
Barret: "For the planet!!"
Vincent: "Whatever..."
Yuffie: "Who cares!!! If i get materia, i'm fine!!"
Reeve/Cait Sith: "Alright! Let's go!"
Reno: "Wait! Can we stop at the bar before we go?"
Everyone: "NO FLIPPING WAY!!!"
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Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 2:47 pm
Sephiroth: Now my new apprentice show them are creation
Cid: Yes Darth Sephi-Vader
Cloud: CID WHY HAVE YOU TURNED TO THE DARKSIDE!!!
Cid: Cause every tuesday is Free candy day
Vincent: Free candy day!! I'm joining the darkside!
Darth Sephi-Vader: Darth Cidious assign him a a name
Darth Cidious: You can be Darth Assmaster
Vincent: NO WAY!
Darth Cidious: To late, your name already changed
Darth Assmaster: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Darth Cidious: I PRESENT TO YOU..............THE SHINRA STAR!!!
*cricket noises*
Cloud: Is that a Death Star with a big S painted on it?
Darth Cidious: ummmmm no......I'm totally not getting sued by George Lucas
Reno: *In an R-Wing* This is the R-Wing squad going in for our attack run
Cloud: THATS JUST AN X-WING PAINTED RED!!!
Reno: Ummmm no this is called an R-Wing, the R stands for Reno, cause I'm Reno, and Reno's cool like that
Rufus: Use the force Reno
Reno: Yes master Obi Wan
Rufus: No actually this is Rufus, just saying use the force, cause I felt like it, cause I'm cool like that, now I'm gonna go back to having a 4-way with me Tifa, Elena, Yuffie, and Aeris.
Yuffie: HEY YOU LIE I'M RIGHT HERE STILL FULLY CLOTHED AND STILL A VIRGIN!
Cloud: You soo lie I seen pictures on the internet, doing dirty things
Yuffie: WHAT LET ME SEE!!! *goes on google.com and searches for Yuffie naked* THATS NOT ME, THATS MY HEAD ON SOMEONE ELSES BODY!!
Cloud: sure....
Darth Sephi-Vader: FIRE THE SHINRA STAR!!!
Darth Cidious: YES SIR!!! *blows up the planet Pop Star*
Reno: Holy hell you just killed the planet where kirby lives!!
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![[Satan]'s avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/88/c5/59a4b536cc588_flip.png?t=1134132890_3.00_00)
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