Welcome to Gaia! ::

*Is installing Fiesta after a few years of being away from it and surprised to see his old account is there.*O.o Also I must remember not to get sucked into the game like I use to get.

No thanks are necessary on my part.

My mom and my brother yelled at me to try to get a job today. I know that the longer I sit around doing nothing, the worse off I'm making myself. I know that my problems aren't going to solve themselves. Laziness isn't the reason I'm avoiding productivity. It's something much deeper, and I don't think they understand that. Which isn't their fault, really.

Honestly, I've seen what adult life looks like. I've seen the truth of the world, and I just don't want to be a part of it. It looks miserable. It looks bleak. It looks unfair. Why do I have to be a part of this?

So, I'm still having a hard time deciding whether or not I want to kill myself. So, here's some pros and cons.

Cons
I'd be taking away any chances I might have had at living a good life. Things certainly don't look good from where I'm standing, but I guess it's true, things could definitely get better.
My friends and family would be very upset by this, and things would probably never be the same for them.

Pros
I'd no longer be a burden on my family.
No more worries.
No more cares.
No more hiding from the inevitable fact that who I currently am is not good enough for society.
One less person contributing to overpopulation.

Hmm... Wonder where I can find a tall building...

I'm one of those guys who does understand the word "no" and are willing to listen to it despite the pain it might bring. If I'm making you uncomfortable, tell me and I shall stop and give you some space, cause the last thing I want to do is make you feel miserable cause that will lead me to try and cheer you up which in turns make you more uncomfortable and so on. I'm just saying, I can't read your mind, you're going to have to drop a hint cause other wise I'm going to keep going the wrong way.

Edit biggrin ecided to just make it visible regardless.

Girls assumptions about how we should treat guys we like confuse me greatly. It makes no sense. Also apparently I'm supposed to let my friend know whenever anything happens between me and him. I got scolded for not telling her that I hung out with him on Tuesday XD I guess I'm supposed to be playing hard to get, and it's a bad thing to tell him how I feel. This REALLY goes against everything I ever have thought about how to deal with guys. It makes no sense to me, non at all.

Figuring out what the guys expect, or what they think is confusing enough. Now I'm additionally confused about my best friends advise. I think I'll deal with it my own way, and we'll see how it works. I can't follow others advise well, I need to do what I think will be right. Meanwhile I'm really annoyed with my sister for actually sending that message... hopefully he doesn't think I'm weird...

@Epic: The word no sometimes annoys me, I don't mind it if the person explains why or if I already understand why. What annoys me is when they say 'just because' there's always a reason, it's never just because.

@Jedi: If you don't like your life then change something in it, don't just end it suicide is never the answer. I know it's difficult to change your life, but it can be done just hang in there and hopefully things will get better. (I would try and give some actual advise, but really can't think of anything specific to say...)

Only two people in my family wear glasses and my vision is much worse than hers. I saw an opthamologist who said I have dry eyes. No big deal right? Combine that with my dry mouth, it's possible I have sjogren's. Still not too big of a deal. But common complications of sjogren's are cavities and bad vision. I get a lot of cavities no matter how much I brush my teeth and my eyesight is so bad if you steal my glasses I may punch you out. If I find out all that could've been prevented by just testing for sjogren's in the beginning, I'm gonna be pissed.

D: