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 Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:06 pm
Ok, first of all, contact the Red Cross. They can contact the base he is at and get you some more accurate info on his condition. He *may* also get to call you if it's something serious. But definitely call the Red Cross.
When I was in bootcamp, that is what they stressed to me, to tell relatives to contact the Red Cross if they needed to get info or give info. Same thing was true for when my hubby went to bootcamp as well.
Secondly, just try and calm down. The worst that can happen is he may be temporarily put in a "transitional/recovery" place so he can recover, and then he'll go on and continue with his training once he's healed up.
In the Air Force's bootcamp, when a soldier is injured, they were placed into a "transitional/recovery" squadron and put on light or no duty until they were healed up and good to go. During this time, your training stops. Once you're healed, your training picks right back up where it left off at. So, yes, it can delay his graduation date if he is out for too long. But that's not a super-huge deal in the grand scheme of things.
If he ever gets deployed, you'll find that delays in homecoming are quite common and something to get used to. I know that doesn't help your worrying, but it's just a part of military life.
If, for some reason, you cannot get any info from the Red Cross, then call your nearest base's Family Support Center, or his recruiter, and see what they can find out for you.
Hope that helps!
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:46 pm
Yeah ditto to getting ahold of Red Cross and ESPECIALLY his recruiter since you've been having all these questions and issues not taken care of. Put aside the issue of the MIL and focus on yourself and getting him and you through it.
Although depending on how long he will be out, they might try to phase him again to start BCT over again, but it really depends on so many circumstances, just be prepared.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 8:56 pm
In case of injury or emergency during BCT they notify the next of kin, so I have to ask, why did he list his mother and not you? As the spouse, your name should have been in that slot.
While you may have issues with her, it wasn't her doing that she was contacted and you weren't. It wasn't the doctors's fault either: they just called the number HE gave them to call if something happened. So you're going to have to ask him about that when you two talk, but I wouldn't get angry about it now, what good is it really going to do?
Now that you know he didn't list you I'll give you a warning from experience: they only send graduation info to the next of kin so you're going to need to talk to her again to know when to see him for graduation. It's her address they have and that's where it will be sent.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:17 pm
i knwo why his mom phone number was listed fist it because he is a moron most of the time and can never remember anything that has not been shoveled into his memory for load of time and we had just changed our phone number even his sister was telling me tonight that he could never remember the phone number 99% of the time.
Ok on the red cross thing what number do i call i got go freaked that i i found the number to the military hospital that he is at right now.
I am stressing out right now if i did not have our daugther to think of right now i think i would flow the coope and go to find out what had happened to him.
I actually think that i would driven out there to find him fulling know that would be wrong but i love him so much and i worry all the time if he is eating right where he is sleeping and if he is hurt in anyway shape or form.
i think the worst thing i can think of is telling him that he can not be in the military anymore do all think that might happen i dont even know how serious this surgery is or was or if it even happened because his mom tend to lie a lot about thing to make them seem more serious than they truley are which leave me to belive that this might just be something she made to get all worried and freaked out.
but i am going to be make my phone calls and find out if he truely is hurt and if so when i can talk to him or get some information on his condition.
Thanks you all i really think that you guys are the best support group i think anyone can find.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:46 pm
You know, this may not be my place to say this, but I think you two really need to see a counselor after he's out. You have a lot of issues to work out before you can get back together again and I don't think this seperation is the real problem. It doesn't sit too well with me when people start calling their spouse a moron; it really makes me sad and makes me wonder what's really going on.
Now take a couple of deep breaths, take out your phone book and find the phone number for the local Red Cross chapter: it should be there. If not, they have a website and you might be able to find it there. I can't tell you the number for your Red Cross, you need to find that on your own.
And as for demanding he not be in the military, well that isn't fair of you to do. Yes, you're affected by his decision, but it's ultimately his choice and I'm sure he had good reasons for going in, one of which may have been a guaranteed income for his family and job training. So really think things over and be rational about this, because a lot more could be at stake then your piece of mind and knowing where he is 24/7.
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Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 10:23 am
Dirge, I think she means that the docs may tell him he can't be in anylonger, not her. I think she *wants* him to be in, but I could've read it wrong.
Anyways, just call up your local Red Cross and tell them everything you've told us, basically. Give his name, the base he's at, and any other info you know that they may need. They will be able to contact the place he's at and then call you back and let you know exactly what's going on with him.
But, Dirge is right. They called his mom because he gave them her contact info instead of your's. And if he's the type that can't remember stuff well, then he should've taken your contact info in WRITTEN form. But whenever you get to talk to him, or write him again, just give hime your number and such again, or you'll hafta go through his mom everytime anything happens as she's his only contact. But getting angry at him and calling him names won't help. Just be patient. This is a new experience for him as well as you.
Next time, though, I hope y'all are a bit more prepared. All these arrangements and such should've been made well in advance of his departure. Do you know who he has listed as his beneficiary on his life insurance policy? You may wanna check on that too.
But DEFINITLE call up his recruiter and see what all he can tell you. Now is not the time to do anything rash. If you were to try calling your hubby or going to his base, you'd only get HIM in trouble.
And luna is also correct about things depending on how long he is out of training. I forgot to add that if he is out for TOO long, they may "recycle" him back to the beginning of his training instead of picking up where he left off at, but, like luna said, it all depends.
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Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 6:49 pm
Badloki you are right. I dont want him out of the army i do want him in i am just worried that he wont be able to say in because of this.
I did make a bad choice in not contacting the red cross but i did get ahold of him this morning i went ahead and called the Moncrief Army Community Hospital in Fort Jackson South Carolina and asked for him and they directed me to his activing physican who informed me that they called his mom number because that was the last number the recruiter was able to contact him on but i was listed on his next of kin his mom told the doctor that i was no longer in his life when that is a bunch a crap because we had decided that we were going to start going to counselor to seek some marriage cousleling to see what we can do fix our relationship and i did call hima moron out of fustration of not being able to find out right then and there what was wrong with him.
It turns out that he was bitten by a brown recluce spider and the posion was eating away his leg muscles and leg fat he has.
they had to remove 1 inch wide 3 inches deep and about 2 feet of mucles and fat from his leg (If you can imagine from his hip to right above his ankle).
the doctor also told me that he would have to come home for a month to heal properly and then he can return to complete basic from where he left off they might have to recycle him.
I am just glad that he is alive.
I also talked to him and he very upset that his mother didnt call me to inform and it turns out that she never intended to tell me anything.
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Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 7:54 pm
Ah brown recluse, makes sense. At Ft. Benning they always have problems with those spiders and it can get pretty nasty. It's not a lethal spider bite but it eats away the tissue and stuff around the bite and is pretty darn painful.
I will recommend not calling the hospital again, that can get him in trouble later on. I would go ahead and write down the recruiter's number, the local Red Cross, his address, etc. and keep it on the fridge where you will see it. If you were listed as next of kin, you should have been called, something must be off, because the recruiter has nothing to do with them once they leave for basic, other than helping the dependants get their stuff taken care of.
Sorry to hear about his mom being like that I hope he heals up quick and doesn't have to get recycled.
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Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:58 am
this morning i talked to his plattoon drill sarget and he said he was very sorry that I was not contacted to be informed about his condition and that No information will be given to anyone other than to his wife.
He also told me that it would be ok for me to call him at the hosptial to keep his spirts up because when jarred was at his worst from the pain and infection he keep crying out for me which is not normal for him to do because he can take a bunch of pain without cryin or making a fuss.
So as of 7am he has been in surgey again to start stitching up his wound.
Like i said before in my other post they are going to be sending home to get better for about a month. The doctor have all the faith that he will heal better if he comes home to be take care of by me and what suprised them and me the most is that yesterday he got up and walked on his own even with that large wound he has to in his leg so they also want him to start physical theraphy to ehlp him heal up fast and so he wont get atrofid(sp?) I dont really know what that means but oh well I am just so happy that he is alive that it really doesnt matter what i have to do to help him get better so he can go and finsih is basic training
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Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 9:52 am
Ah, that was my mistake then, sorry about that.
OOh, one of those spiders. Chris has told me about them; I didn't realize we have them stateside.
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Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 10:05 am
thats ok Dirge.
I really didnt know about those spider either but appently they are all over the wooded areas in the souther east coast area.
I am still here waiting for a phone call from the surgen to tell me how he came out of the surgery that he had or is having today.
I hate wait for phone calls about his condition because i am so use to being there when he is sick and now i feel so helpless because i am not right there by his side but i know he is good hands so that kind of makes me feel better.
Now i just got to keep remembering that i have to keep breathing because its all going to be ok.
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Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 10:32 am
Glad things are getting worked out. Yeah, unfortunately being outside in the southeast, brown recluses are all over. One of Tommy's BCT buddies got bit twice by them and almost didn't get to go through basic. I also have a friend they got in her VAN and she had about 6 bites on her ankles. *shudders*
That's really awesome that they're calling. Tommy ended up in the infirmary during basic and I didn't find out about that till after I got the letter, lol. So, it's really nice that they're caliing you and fixing their mistakes.
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Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 5:37 pm
I feel like everything is getting better for us and they have his leg wrapped in a vacuum suction wrap that is going to help it heal
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 2:14 pm
I got the best news ever today.
The doctor called me this morning and told me that jarred's is healing so well that he might be able to come home on wensday.
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 2:50 pm
That's wonderful news! I hope he continues to heal as well and as quickly as he has been thus far. Good luck!
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