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 Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 8:35 am
Lilith opened her eyes slightly as Alice brought back pillows and blankets. It seemed a little weird to be sleeping on the floor when you had beds, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she closed her eyes again and let herself drift off into sleep.
((Morning!))
When the sun broke over the horizon Abel's lids fluttered and her breathed in. His mouth opened in a wide yawn before he winced at the pain he felt. Eyebrows knitting together, he pulled himself slowly up into a sitting position. After the lightheaded feeling went away he opened his eyes. For a moment he didn't know where he was, his heart beat fast and he looked around quickly. Though after a few minutes everything fell onto him again.
His face darkened and he rubbed at his head, frustration, pain, hopelessness, it was all there once more. At the overwhelming sense of emotion he had to get up, hands beginning to fidget. Carefully he moved himself around everyone and went into the kitchen. His wings were folded against his bare back, they hurt, much like every other part of his body, but it didn't keep him from pulling out food and pans. In a few minutes the sounds of breakfast being made lifted through the house along with the smell of bacon and eggs.
There was something about keeping busy that made Abel forget about everything. He could focus on cooking or cleaning instead of the things that made him feel horrible and out of control. He didn't want to think about he had done last night, he didn't want to think about what could have happened, what he looked like, how he had looked last night, none of it. He'd rather run away from those problems. His hand trembled slightly as he held the spatula, watching the eggs cook in a pan. He gripped harder to stop the trembling, his bruised fingers turning white from the force of his grip.
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Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 8:33 pm
((I promise I'll post tomorrow. I got snowed in at my friend's dorm.... hahahaha, the weather was like: SURPRISE! TEN INCHES.
And we were like:.... AWESOME. WAIT... I NEED TO GET HOME.
IT WAS. AN ADVENTURE. And I almost lost my hands and feet. FROST BITE... not really, but they turned white XD
So. Yeah. TOMORROW I PROMISE. I was doing so good too :C ))
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Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 6:12 pm
((HERE WE GO! POST TIEMZ. And I went looking for houses today D:... cos... I'm going to be MOVING OUT NEXT YEAR!
I feel all grown up D: ))
Talen didn't stir when the sunlight first began to filter into the window. It had only been hours before when he finally convinced himself to sleep and he was exhausted. However, at the sounds of breakfast being made in the kitchen he slowly began to shift in his sleep and roused from his dreamless sleep.
He lifted his mussed head from his pillows and stared through the dim light of the morning to the couch. His head was throbbing from the blow he had received, which was maybe why he didn't notice the couch was empty for a few moments. He started a little at the fact it was empty and looked about the room at the sleeping forms of his sister and friends. Then it seemed to click as he continued to hear noises in the kitchen. Quietly he got to his feet and crept around his sister and made his way to the kitchen. Once there, he leaned against the door-frame, arms crossed tightly over his chest.
"Morning." He said roughly and was surprised at how tired he sounded. He rubbed at his head, running his hands through his hair. "Feeling better?" He asked conversationally and then was quiet.
"I'm sorry." He said moments later in a voice that was very much not his own. It came out broken.
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Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 6:42 pm
Abel glanced up when he felt Talen's presence. He gave his usual smiles, the kind that never quite reached his eyes, and flipped over an egg, hand still in a death grip on the spatula, more than ever now that Talen was there.
"Good Morning." He said pleasantly as he examined the eggs. His voice was slightly scratchy and forced. He swallowed, throat dry and rough from the yelling he had done the night before. His tongue moved across dried and cut lips before he let go of the spatula and quickly grabbing a plate, making sure his hands were occupied at all times so as not to show how much they were shaking.
"Well...I don't really remember how I felt last night..." He whispered, the lies coming easier it seemed the longer he was on earth. When Talen apologized Abel finally looked up and over at him. Slowly he turned his head back and slid some food onto the plate he held. "Don't say that." He said and walked towards Talen.
As he handed the plate towards him his eyes watching the other boy, his face serious. "Never say that to me." At that moment his voice sounded stern but then he pushed the plate further towards Talen and shook his head. "I mean...well...it wasn't your fault. None of it. Nothing happened because of you. Even if you had stayed there and tried to fight him...we BOTH would have been hurt. I'd rather take it then have you walking around like this again. Okay?" He smiled weakly, avoiding eye contact.
"Just don't say those words to me."
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Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 4:35 pm
When Abel responded to his apology he looked a little as if he had been struck. He recoiled slightly. "But Abel..." He said and the guilt he was obviously was feeling was apparent in his eyes, the way he moved. There was a way would gesture that made him look like he was hurt. "I... I'm your FRIEND... and I just... I left. ABEL. I just LEFT you there." His eyebrows furrowed.
"Abel. Last night... you scared me. I didn't know what was WRONG with you and I just left you alone with that... b*****d. It was my fault I had anything to do with him in the first place." He winced at this and swiped at his face with a hand. He took the plate from Abel's hands and set it aside. "If I can't apologize for what I did let me apologize for what he said, let me apologize for what he DID." He rubbed at his arms.
"I never wanted you to get hurt. Can't you see that?! In the same way you never wanted me to get hurt either. And when I left... he broke something in you. Abel... Stop smiling like you don't mean it. It kills me more than not seeing you smile at all." Talen drew back and ran his hands through his hair. "You can be honest with me... if I couldn't protect you then let me help you now... I can... I can do this part... Please."
((haaha, OKAY.))
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Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:09 pm
Abel turned around, flipping over some eggs. His wings were tightly pressed against his bare back. When Talen stumbled over his words Abel's fingers tightened more around the spatula, a subtle noise coming from the metal. "Please, just forget about it, okay? You got help. It's what any good friend would have done." He swallowed but Talen continued to talk. Abel closed his eyes and flipped over another egg.
He felt himself tense up as Talen tried to apologize again and told Abel he had scared him. Abel opened his eyes and turned the stove off, sliding the eggs onto three plates set out for the others. "He didn't do anything, Talen. He just beat me up. That's all. You wouldn't have been able to stop that even if you tried." He finally let go of the spatula after putting the rest of the food on and then slid tops over the plates to keep the breakfast warm.
Slowly he turned around, bringing the plates onto the table, still avoiding eye contact with Talen. Every word the other boy said made Abel's hands tighten. Carefully he put the plates down and finally looked to Talen, something in his face seemed defensive, like something was blocking anything that tried to penetrate it's wall. "Broke something?" He repeated and smiled before Talen told him to stop. It faltered, like a withering flower, and he drew into himself slightly. "You don't have to help me. I'm fine, bruised, but fine." He tried to keep his voice calm and relaxing.
"Eat your breakfast." He said quietly and walked out of the kitchen.
((That's called super human posting right there. Take notes, lovely.
That's also called super human stubbornness too. D: *pokes Abel*))
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Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 6:59 pm
((AH HA. Things are slowing down slightly... I don't wanna jinx it though. Valentines weekend in a floral shop plus paper re-write, plus photo, plus midterm, pluuuus... probably something I don't need to worry about now... OH MIDTERM WEEK. YOU HAUNT MY LIFE. GO POST GO.))
Talen looked somewhat hurt again. He covered it with a deep frown. He clenched and unclenched his hands and felt something between a flash of temper and just deep hurt. He felt his heart constrict in his chest and he took a deep breath, but it remained like a knot in the middle of his ribcage.
"I'm not hungry." He said suddenly and then he vanished from the kitchen and out the front door.
((hahaha, ouch. Talen feels like someone punched him in his FRIENDSHIP.... hahaha, what?))
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Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 7:26 pm
Abel stopped when Talen walked out. There was that brief instinct to chase after him, but something pulled him back. Instead he watched the door close and his friend disappear. He felt frustrated, confused, basically everything he could possibly feel. He was terrified of having anyone help him. It was a highly illogical fear, but he felt that if someone besides Gabriel or Hans ever got close enough to him to want to help him...he'd ruin it. He'd do something wrong and it would be gone.
He swallowed and moved towards the front door. After a minute he opened it up and stood at the front stoop. "Where are you going?" He asked, voice sounding like it came from a distance, weak and strangely empty. "You shouldn't go running off. Not now." He crossed his arms over his chest and rubbed his bruised and burned arms. "And I can't really...go after you with...these ridiculous things." He spread his wings as he watched Talen's back, laughing weakly as if to lighten the mood, yet it seemed to only darken it even more.
Abel was silent for a few minutes, his shoulders tightening up as he studied Talen. "What do you want me to do, Talen?" He finally said, exhaling heavily. "What do you want from me?" He leaned back against the door and looked away. "Because I'm obviously not doing something right."
((UUGH I've been so sick lately it's DISGUSTING. I am so sore from sneezing and coughing. And my nose is raw and my throat is scratchy and my nose is leaking.
Ewwwww. And yeah...Valentines in a flower shop is probably pretty much chaos. Haha. I want flowers. :< It'd brighten up my miserable sickly existence at this moment...))
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Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 11:14 am
((Alright. Now that this weekend's madness is nearly over... I'M GOING TO TRY AND BE A GOOD GIRL AGAIN.
Try. Also: I totally signed a lease for an apartment with my friends and we were all like: OMG YAY.
That and Valentine's day, plus homework=aaaaaw yeah.))
Talen really had no clue where he was going. It was just something he did when he was upset or frustrated, rather than deal with it then or there, he just walked away. it didn't matter where, all that mattered was that he felt like he was going somewhere. He was restless to a fault, and now that he didn't feel like Abel didn't need him around he felt that need to disappear a few days and return like nothing happened.
He didn't get far however. He turned when Abel spoke to him and ran a hand through his hair. The way he spoke made him ache a little. "I wasn't..." But didn't finish his sentence because he knew he was lying and he knew Abel would know that. He sighed and crossed his arms as well.
He looked to the side and rubbed his arms. "I won't go."
What Abel said next drew his dark eyes to his friend. He furrowed his eyebrows. "All I want is to be able to help you, Abel... because you'd do the same for me." He smiled, but it looked almost like a wince. "Wether I liked it or not... If you're allowed to take care of me, I'm allowed to take care of you."
"That isn't so hard, is it?" Talen wanted to know.
((LOL. YAY.))
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Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 2:15 pm
((YAY APARTMENTS. Haha. Sounds delightful. When do you guys move in?))
Abel looked up when Talen stopped and sighed. His tongue went over his lips and he watched the other boy as he turned to look at Abel. There was a momentary sense of relief with Talen said he wouldn't go. Abel nodded, but this time didn't smile. He could hear his friend's words in his head. If he couldn't fake a smile...how often would he really smile anymore?
"But...that's different..." Abel said quietly, blue eyes still on Talen with that unsure look on his face that seemed strangely hollow. He looked to his hands and rung them together. He closed his eyes and lifted himself off the door as he heard noises within the house, the others were beginning to wake up. He doubted they would interrupt the two boys' conversation, so he didn't bother to leave or tell Talen they should go in.
"It is hard." He whispered and opened his eyes, their blue color turning more of a gray hue. "What do you expect to do? What is it that you think I need care for?" His gaze flickered down the street as he saw some people walking. "Maybe we should...go somewhere else to talk about this." He tightened his wings against his back and pushed against the door again.
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Posted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 7:07 pm
((LOL OKAY GO.))
Talen frowned at his friend and found no words to spare. He found it frustrating and achingly sad Abel didn't seem to think he needed help. He wanted to punch his lights out and hug him at the same time.
He ran a hand through his hair and glanced down the sidewalk at the sound of people walking.
"Fine." He said and made his way up his front steps. He then pressed passed Abel and back into the house. "Talk with me." He said and lead the way in.
((OKAY.))
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Posted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 7:39 pm
((That's okay, you don't need to answer my questions about your life. I understand if you want me to be LEFT IN THE COLD!))
Abel shifted to the side when Talen walked over to the door. He could sense Talen's frustration and it made Abel second guess himself as he followed the boy inside. He never wanted help, from anyone, even Hans or Gabriel. There was always something ingrained into his mind that he was to provide the help, not the other way around.
"I'm sorry..." He said quietly once he closed the door. His eyes were downcast and he rubbed a bruised arm again. "I'm not..." He stopped and shook his head. He heard someone in the kitchen, a fork clacking against a plate and he glanced in that direction. "It's not like you don't understand anything anyways." He said this part with a hint of tension. "I know Gabriel said things. I just decided to ignore it." His eyes darkened but he looked up again when Lilith emerged with a plate of food, mouth half full.
"I was wondering where the newly weds went." She paused as she noticed Abel's expression and she tightened her lips, swallowing the food down. "Oh. I see. I'll just eat breakfast by myself then." She raised a fork of sausage and wandered away to mind her own business.
Abel's eyes closed and he furrowed his brows. "It doesn't matter, that's all...It's not like I'm the one with a life to save or anything. You're the one with something precious to loose." He finally said and looked back at Talen, something about his face seemed void...
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Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 8:07 pm
((YAY HERE.
And HAHA, sorry. I move in Sept. 1. So like... yanno... when school starts up again. We're pretty excited and I get to live in a closet biggrin
... No really. I do. And my rent is cheaper. It's excellent.))
Talen half turned to look at Abel, expression unreadable. He searched his face for a moment but when Lilith emerged from the kitchen with a plate full of breakfast he turned his attention onto her instead.
He tried to look amused at the newly weds statement and then nodded as she turned and left the way she came. Talen looked back at Abel as he spoke, his mouth set in a way that suggested he was trying to remain patient with Abel. He spread out his hands and breathed slowly out his nose.
"Listen... Abel." Talen rubbed at the back of his neck and unclenched his jaw. "This whole... I'm not worth anything act? It's getting old. I don't know how many times I have to INSIST you're worth something to me, to anyone. Maybe you really AREN'T worth a damn because I'm tired of arguing with you. How are you supposed to convince someone they mean something when they don't even believe it themselves?"
And he didn't want to raise his voice, but he did: "But if YOU'RE not worth a damn I'M not worth a damn. I'm honestly not going to listen to someone TELL ME TO MY FACE I'm worth something WHO DOESN'T THINK THEIR WORTH ANYTHING. It's BACKWARDS! It DOESN'T ADD UP." He backed up a step. "So keep your KIND WORDS to yourself! Because they don't mean a ******** thing."
((hahahahahaha, Oh Talen.))
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Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 4:01 pm
((LIKE FRY. Hahaha. Except you don't get to live with a robot. D: That'd be even cooler.))
Abel's eyes shifted to the ground again when Talen spoke, his eyes unfocused as Talen's words ran around in his head. Something about the whole situation made him retreat even more within himself. He could feel his mind start to rebuild the walls and his heart start to harden. When Talen began to yell, Abel looked up finally, eyes somehow not quite looking at Talen, even though they were gazing upon him.
He opened his mouth and nothing came out. There was a look in his eyes that expressed both confusion and remorse. His lips pushed back together. What was he supposed to say? Anything he could say wouldn't be able to describe what he felt or to convince Talen to just drop this whole thing. If he even began to say 'forget about it' Talen would most like throw a fit.
"With what happened last night, I think I'm going back soon." He finally said, eyes trying to search for something to focus on, something to tell him that this was definitely reality. "There's no way either Hans or Gabriel will be able to convince them that I'm ready for any of it. Because I'm obviously am not." His voice was so light that it sounded a mile away. "You should really eat your breakfast."
The corners of his lips twitched as he tried to smile, something to anchor him down and make sure he didn't lose it.
Lilith sauntered back into the living room where the others were sleeping. Something about the air in the whole house seemed especially heavy, almost suffocating. She was sure something was boiling underneath everything, something even she couldn't quite see, and it made her wonder.
Even so, she sat down beside Saul, chewing a piece of bacon and watching him sleep so sound and peacefully. She then kicked up her legs and let them rest on his stomach as she leaned back against the couch. "If you don't wake up soon I'm going to eat your breakfast, bud."
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Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 5:21 pm
((I'M GOING TO POST EARLY GODDAMNIT.
And yes. I am like Fry... I WANT A BENDER. I WAAAAANT A BENDER. I WOULD LOVE HIM VERY MUCH..... why so much caps? Like... what the hell? and ooooh Abel... laalalalala. la. lalala. la.))
Talen shut his eyes when Abel finally spoke. He slowly crossed his arms over his chest. "You know what Abel? Maybe you're not. Maybe you were never ready." He opened his eyes and looked at Abel with a mixture of pity and that same mounting frustration that haunted his every waking moment. "Even when you were alive you weren't ready, you were born thinking you weren't good enough. You came into this world deaf and blind and mute. You never hear those things we hold true about you, you never see when we try to care and you've never once said what you're really thinking..."
He felt a rush of rage, but it came out burnt out and incredibly close as if to close the space that Abel had left him with and he felt so far away from him he didn't feel like he could ever reach him again. He clutched at his chest. Each of his words resounded sad and hurt. "YEAH. You're WORTHLESS! That's why I CARE SO MUCH. Is that what you wanted to hear?! THERE. You're WORTHLESS. Leave! I won't notice the difference! You here is the same there!"
And with that he turned and retreated to his room, a place he knew Abel wouldn't follow.
((hahaha, ouch. But... he kinda has a point. Abel. You needa stop being a pansy and open up or something. ABEL. IS. A ROCK.
NO MAN! IS AN ISLAND!))
When Lilith's feet rested on Saul's stomach, he stirred minutely. For a few moments all that occurred was the gentle rise and fall of his breathing and thus the gentle rise and fall of Lilith's feet. Though, Saul wasn't a very large boy, and the new weight on his already sunken chest slowly began to make it slightly harder for him to draw a breath, not too much, but enough for him to wonder why and slowly wake.
Blearily he opened his eyes and turned his head to find Lilith. A smile that only she managed to bring to his face lit across his face briefly.
"Hey." He said and then perked up more at the smell of food. "Is any of that for me?" He wondered in a sleepily hoarse voice. He made grabby hand gestures at her plate. "Baaaaacoooooon." He said in a zombie voice. "Waaaaaaant."
((lol.))
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