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Daren returned to the apartment about half an hour before Tim was due home. he showered and dressed before checking on their dinner just in time for Tim to come home. "What happened?" he asked as he walked out wearing a silly, frilly apron Anna had given him as a gag gift. it was bright pink with lace around the edges and shaped like two hearts on top of each other. "Andy do something again?" he asked as he sat next to Tim

Daren looked down when Tim said he'd gotten into a fight because of him. but his head snapped up when Tim said he should have been the one to go to jail, "No!" he said it a little more harshly than he'd meant, "i'm sorry, it's just-" he took the hand that was playing with the lace and gently began to massage it, "Tim, if jail did this to me, just imagine what it would have done to you." he shivered slightly to think about it. "i was strong and able to fight back, i stood a chance. you?" he shook his head, "sweetie, forgive me, but you aren't very strong. and you were conditioned to give up and take whatever was done to you at one point and time. it wouldn't take long for those urges to come back and shut down your mind, you know? i couldn't let that happen." he smiled a little, meeting Tim's eyes, "let them think that. i don't mind. i'll become the scary hermit that lives at the top of the tower and never comes out and you can be the brave knight willing to endure his presence." he moved to Tim's side and hugged him, "i don't care what the world thinks so long as you know the truth, my love. they can say what you want, just look down at them as the ignorant idiots they are and relish in the fact that you are smarter than they ever will be."

Daren chuckled, "how can they hurt me when they never see me?" he asked, logically, "when the mob comes to the door, pitchfork and all, then you can worry about them hurting me. until then, i'm safe locked up in our little christmas haven." his smile faded, "besides, who says they are wrong? it's in my blood, i could easily become like him if pushed." Daren looked down, hating thinking of his father, "so they are right to be worried. it only shows they care for you, Tim."

Daren smiled as he hugged Tim back, "Thanks," he said softly, his face against his lover's stomach. "hearing you say that gives me a little hope, at least." he lifted his head, his chin on Tim's stomach, and smiled, "but enough of this. dinner's almost done. would you like a shower, a bath, me or two of the three?" he asked, teasingly. "i bet you're an amazing top," he slid his hands down to Tim's hips, nuzzling his stomach, "it's great for stress relief, too. how about it, Tim?" he started moving lower, "will you make me your b***h?"

Daren was scared. he wasn't ready to be topped again and he knew he was going to have a hard time, but he wanted to push through that. until Tim he usually was the bottom and he missed intimacy of someone you trust spreading you and slowly filling you. "you don't have to," he promised as he stood up to kiss Tim, "it's ok, i don't want you to feel like you are being forced." he stepped away and went to get dinner plated and served, humming softly. he would have to be on his back, there was no way he'd be able to remain calm if he couldn't see Tim the entire time.

Daren wasn;t sure how to take Tim's de;iboration. was he saying he didn't want to? he sounded nervous. maybe topping Daren wasn't something that appealed to him. he could close his eyes and pretend when he was bottom, he didn't have to pay attention to what Daren really looked like. if he were to Top, he'd have to look down and see Daren. there would be no room for pretending. that was probably it. Tim could stand being topped by Daren, but not topping him. "you're right, sorry." he said as he brought the plates to the table, keeping his warm smile in place. "we will have to find a different way to burn off that negative energy."

Daren shook his head, "i'm fine. just forget i asked, ok?" he kissed Tim's cheek before getting some french bread from the kitchen and bringing that to the table as well, "dinner's served." he sat down and began to eat the roast, using the bread to soak up the juices. "so, movies after dinner? or do you just want to go to bed?" he didn't want to think about sex and the rejection anymore, it would ruin the calm atmosphere he'd created for Tim and that would be bad. if work was stressful and agitating, Daren wanted home to be relaxing and peaceful.

Daren nodded, "i can do some research and find it while you are at work tomorrow. we've some cards if you'd rather play some games instead of movies. we've been doing movies a lot lately, haven't we?" he smiled as he took a drink of water and went back to slowly eating, "or there might be a board game stashed away here and there, if you'd like." he had a few from when Anna's kids would come over and visit.