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 Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 1:10 pm
The next day, Tenchi returns to the same spot where Hageshi and himself meet. He had dressed himself with new cloth and a pare of black sun glasses, like he always had. When reached the area he looks around, seeing no familur faces. "Hmm.. Guess I'll have to wait for a bit" He takes a seat, under a tree and rests his eyes.
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Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 7:04 pm
Psychofish ((Well, I'm glad I'm being no bother then. I've managed to wrest up a little online time as it turns out, but I can't garuntee the continuation of such luck.)) "I try to do some reading on scripts, journals, and any sort of old accounts I can find, despite the inpediment to my reading speed... but I find that usually the only good descriptions of a ninja not renowned as legend or made a Kage is by having the luck of finding their own journal; we are for obvious reasons usually anonymous in historic texts, and records otherwise are similairly usually either not taken, or destroyed for sake of keeping the secrets secret. I'm afraid that is one name I've never heard." he said, blinking and taking a quick swig, once again reaching for whichever of the two containers was closer rather than picking one by content; he neither knew, nor would be able to see a difference, though he'd noticed the variation of taste and smell between the two on different times drinking. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go on like that." It almost sounded like he'd been trying to give a lecture or something akin to that. One thing did strike him as odd though. "You said your father was "obsessed"? Is that really so unusual? If I'm not mistaken, he was a shinobi as well, and it seems perfectly natural to me. Our missions, our training, our objectives; for a shinobi, that is not only what we have, but what we are, to a large degree, are they not?" He'd given up on having anything else a while ago. He was a ninja, a tool, a weapon. It was all he had left, and all he could hope for. Trying for anything else was trying for too much, and if he overwhelmed himself, he could fail to ever emount to anything. He was a ninja. Period. Or, that was how he'd seen it for years, though it wasn't to say he began to question it a little now. But then, these people were in different circumstance than he, they could afford the extra. He was behind, and handicapped.
Kaida, who had been swallowing a bit of fruit, coughed it went down the wrong way. "What are you saying, all that s**t about only living for missions, training, et cetera?" She shook her head. "If that's what you think...."
She sat straighter. "Okay, nin are not just there for missions and training, or whatever. Ninja are supposed to keep the peace, yes, but it's a job. Just like any other one, just a touch more dangerous. It gives you a natural high that can't be gotten anywhere else. People are attracted to this proffession for many reasons, and maybe there are some people that are working as nin just for the sake of having something to do. I think those people have the wrong idea, and should be shot on sight." She clutched an apple, almost crushing it. "I mean, if their just nin so that they have a reason to live, that's a load of crap. Nin are supposed to help others keep on living, so how can they do that if they don't want to live themselves? If you don't enjoy life, why continue? It's the longest thing you'll ever do, so if you don't like it, why suffer continuously? For some revenge? For a twisted, unnatural love of pain and suffering? If it's revenge, why? If you're entire family was killed off, why not find someone to make your life happy and reclaim your clan by having children? You should take your life in your own hands, and find a way to live it happily. If you're not happy, what's life for? I mean, even you can get passed your being blind and find someone who loves you for who you are. Handicap and all."
She stared at Kojiro, then blinked. "Sorry for the lecture...." she muttered as it dawned on her that she had been talking for about five minutes. "I don't usually lecture like that, but you did ask."
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 9:16 am
Dimi Deiod The next day, Tenchi returns to the same spot where Hageshi and himself meet. He had dressed himself with new cloth and a pare of black sun glasses, like he always had. When reached the area he looks around, seeing no familur faces. "Hmm.. Guess I'll have to wait for a bit" He takes a seat, under a tree and rests his eyes. -stands up from where he had sat down and walks over to him- So you came back
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 9:23 am
"Yes I have, have you come up with an answer to my question?" He looked up at him, smileing warmly.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 7:43 pm
((Well, I just got back today, so I guess it's back to the one post a day thing. sweatdrop ))
A wry smile crossed Kojiro's face very slowly. "That I did." he shifted slightly, but moved rather little over all. "Maybe. Maybe that's how it is, for most people, but this has been where I've spent all of my time. I suppose... this has been pleasant, an unecessary little aside, but really everything I have done in my life up until now has been to excel. If I excelled, went as far as I could... well, I don't know what I'd do, if there was ever a free moment. But this has eaten all of my time. It's a lot. I spend all of my time training, doing missions, trying to be able to function as well as if I were not blind, to learn taijutsu, genjutsu, ninjutsu, and learn a little more about what I can get out of my bloodline to help me. I never have free time. Find someone who would love me, and find happiness that way? Even if there was someone who would accept me as pathetic as I am, would they put up with my keeping myself so busy, having next to never any free moment at all? For myself... my future... and my family... I need to at least manage to proceed as a ninja, I will need to earn the living for at least myself, and likely others as well someday, and unless I proceed, I will be able neither to do that nor do anything that will make a difference for anyone. I don't think there's anyone who could be patient enough to accept this, and find themselves liking me. I don't really see what would draw anyone to me anyway." he shrugged finally, and turned away slightly, no longer smiling, but continueing in that same flat voice he'd been using the whole time, as one hand picked up the headband, and he lifted it toward his face, pushing the cloth band off with his thumb so he could take the other hand to tie it flat back onto his face. "I have been alone because I couldn't bear to be with everyone else and their disappointment. No one is with me because I have never meant anything as a person, as a son to the family I failed, and as a person I had to give everything I have to my goal, and I still go none to quickly in accomplishing it. If I gave up a little bit of time, a little bit of that obsession over my being a nin, I think I might lose everything. I have no middle road, I do not think. I fail or I succeed. I have very little open to me, but that will be all or nothing, it seems. I've just learned to accept that my life will not be one of the happy ones. I will be satisfied. That much, at least, I wish to have."
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Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 10:09 pm
Dimi Deiod "Yes I have, have you come up with an answer to my question?" He looked up at him, smileing warmly. "it is as old as you are is it not?" -he asks questioningly looking at him-
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Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2005 3:49 am
He gets up on his feats quickly and looks around, his eyes drifting quickly from side to side, soon he spots his target. He walks up to the Civilan and asks the time. He gets a whisper back, such a low sound on the whisper that Hageshi could not hear the man. "Okay Hageshi, I must go. I have a.. Assingment and it starts in ten minutes. So I'll be back in one week. Train hard and get some friends." He turns around to the direction where he was heading, then he folded up his ankels and took of some wegiths. Instead he put them in his hands and got ready for a run. "Remember, Train hard" He takes off and after a couple of secounds he is out of eye sight. Secounds after he had start running dusts flys off from the ground and into the air.
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Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2006 1:45 am
-as he dissappears I finally leave the burned down building returning to the building i have been staying in. As i enter the room i look around and sit down pulling a duffle bag towards me-
" i must become stronger, i will bring back honor to your names mother, father."
-Stands up slinging the duffle bag over her shoulder and head out the door towards the hogake monument-
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Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2006 2:59 pm
*is wondering around the village*
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Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2006 5:38 pm
((Sorry I didn't reply til now. I got caught up in family issues. Plus, I had to have my sis help translate what you wrote...X3))
Kaida shot a hand out and stopped him from tying it around his eyes again. "Alright, I think I know what you're saying. Now here's my response."
She pulled his headband away. "Let people see that you are blind. If they pity you, to hell with them. It will throw your opponents off guard. So you have a lot more trouble learning things, it's almost like me. Just a little harder. Hell, even if you spend all of your waking moments training, you'll always be at a disadvantage. Face the facts, move on. Start thinking of new ways to become a nin, new ways to fight others. If you work at it enough, you'll be just as good as anyone else."
She paused. "But what's life without happiness? And all that bullshit about people not loving you? Are you even giving them a chance? I just met you and I can already see that you're a great guy. I'm sure that if you were to give people a chance, you'd have suitors. You just choose not to. It's like your afraid to find someone and lose them."
She took a breath. "And you called yourself pathetic. I already told you, or think I did, that I envy you. Going in a battle with you, you'd most definately win. You aren't in any way pathetic. If anyone here is, it would be me. I mean, come on, I failed three years at the academy. I'm nearly seventeen and I'm still a genin. Most teens my age are already starting their chunin training, most are probably working up to jounin level."
"I hate disappointing others, too. A person is their own worst critic, and nobody likes to disappoint people they care for. So you have to care for someone, if you don't want to disappoint people. But if you try your hardest and still fail, you'll just have to suck it up and try again. It's like riding a bike, I guess. You're so proud after so many disappointments, that it makes the success all the more enjoyable."
"Continuing with that analogy, you would probably be like my neighborhood friend way back when. I tried for weeks to ride my bike, and when I did, I was so proud. My friend tried it one day, got too sad she couldn't pull it off, and stopped trying. She eventually stopped being my friend, and graduated a year before I did. She eventually died when out on a mission. She tried to do something, that failed, then didn't try again and was at a loss for what to do. The nin snuck up behind her and slit her throat."
"Nin are trained to never give up. That means in anything pertaining to their lives, as their jobs are their lives. With all you're saying about not being happy, about accepting satisfaction...it sounds like you aren't even trying. You're giving up before you take a chance. You sound like you're afraid of taking risks."
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Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2006 7:53 pm
((Really...? sweatdrop Am I that confusing, or else just being overly complex in vocabulary or twisting my sentences up somehow? Gah! gonk
I'm sorry about that, little bit surprised. I don't mean to sound rude in the least, but is English a secondary language for you? The whole "help translate" part sounds like that, and I always find it interesting to find out I'm rp'ing with someone from a different country.))
Kojiro opened his mouth to speak, gaping like a fish while his mouth worked but didn't get any words out, stopped and shut firmly, and repeated once or twice more. Suddenly, all the tension went out of his body at once and his hand, which had been clamped onto the headband even as she tried to pull it away, stubbornly, went limp and dropped back down next to him. His face was slowly going to a burning shade of crimson, and he let out a large breath all at once, pulling his knees up to his chest and putting one arm over them while the other lay out in front of him.
"Maybe... maybe I am. Maybe I am..." he mumbled, but load enough for her to hear. He felt defeated in a way, he didn't like to be wrong. But it seemed he was. Guilty as he was accused, at the least, "It's... not as if I'm not trying, not once nor again and again, but maybe I'm dooming myself right at the start. Who am I kidding. That only applies to my career as a ninja. Yes, maybe I have given up on the rest of my life, but I've lost everything once? Where is one to start again?" the compliment had as much to do with his burning cheeks as his vast emberassment at his own stupidity. "Even if I think possitively, how am I supposed to just start over? How can I stop worrying and just be positive about it even." he was beginning to feel angry; at himself. He was still being a child. He was. But at the same time, he really didn't know what he could do to live differently, not in his training or his goals, but his outlook, or interactions with other people.
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Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 4:39 pm
((No, I'm an american. I just get confused easily...but I'm nearly squealing over Kojiro right now, crazy as it sounds.... whee He's so kawaii! whee ))
Kaida set Kojiro's headband next to her. "Well, for starters, you can start opening up to people. Getting hurt is a part of life. I know I can't really relate to how you feel, being raised in a family like mine has made my personality pretty in your face. But just acting like you have around me, talking and letting people talk to you. You should try and get to know people who have too much energy, and maybe some of it will rub off on you."
She put a finger to her chin. "Another thing you could do is stop trying to hide what you feel. It seems like you get embarrassed when you do things that show emotion, at least to me, it does. When your happy, you should act like a fool. When your sad, cry your a** off. When your angry, get mad and scream."
Kaida cocked her head to the side. "It's really not that hard to be positive, and just changing your attitude affects the way you act towards others. With surrounding yourself with people who you can deal with and are the polar opposite of you, you learn new ways of viewing life. You learn new habits and traditions, get to know another person's thoughts on subjects.... If it turns out that your best friend has a habit of theirs that you absolutely can't stand, then you naturally try and prevent yourself from getting the same one. You become a better person, in most endings."
Her brow furrowed as she thought a moment. "If you act as you have been, and just keep to yourself and don't actually become friends with anyone or learn to care, and have fun, you'll die. Not in the literal sense, where there's a funeral and flowers and stuff, but you'll be like a robot. And empty shell, wasting away, following the same patterns you always have and not having anything spontaneous happen. I don't know what you think about that, but I'd rather drink slow acting poison and jump off the tallest cliff I could find than live like that."
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Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 7:11 pm
((Kojiro is kawaii? I had no idea... sweatdrop I've got no time tonight, it's late already... I'll try to post in the morning. 3nodding ))
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 6:00 am
-sets the duffle bag down looking up the long stairs of the Hokage Monument then walks over behind a building grabing two buckets and fills them with water walking back to the monument and slowly starts go run up and down the stairs, going faster with each complete up and down-
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 2:00 pm
Psychofish ((Kojiro is kawaii? I had no idea... sweatdrop I've got no time tonight, it's late already... I'll try to post in the morning. 3nodding ))
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