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well ******** I'm cleaning my room and I take a look at my phone and I see my dad called me twice

so I call him back and he tells me my grandma had a heart attack
she's in intensive care now
he also tells me he saw my friend and his dad there
which could only mean one thing but I'll get to that in a minute
so I'm like hey dad we should go see her tomorrow
and he's like uhhhh yeah no the game is on tomorrow I wanted to watch it neutral

so I'm like yeah ok I'll talk to you later bye and then I call up my friend
his mom had a ministroke
but it turns out it didn't do any damage or anything she just...you know almost died and such
I mean no MORE damage
her brain got messed up when she had her initial stroke two years ago (on my birthday)
my friend said he thought she died this time because she stopped breathing so he just layed down next to her and started telling her goodbye and stuff

but his friend was there and he was like dude what are you doing and my friend was all I think my mom just died and his friend was like should I call an ambulance? and right then my friends mom gave like a snort and so they checked her pulse and her heart was still beating so they took her to the hospital and such

so yeah

also my other grandmas memorial service is in march
I dunno if I mentioned she died here

this is not a good start to a new year let alone decade =/

yeah
he's pretty lame in general
though I have to give it to him
if I ask him for a ride he rarely lets me down
as long as I'm willing to wait 3 to 8 hours later than he SAID he would get me anyway...


I went to see my grandma
she seemed kind of out of it because of the drugs me she seemed alright

also my friends mom seems fine
or as fine as she can be anyway

I caught a cold while I was at my friends house =|

yepyep

ongoing

yesterday I asked my mom if she'd heard anything about the cat while I was gone
she told me I should just forget about it
casually
as if it was no big deal
as if she didn't promise she'd get it back to me

every day I'm just more sure that I really never want to talk to her again
ever

it's not just about what she did
it's how she's treating me

like I feel so pushed around and whenever I try to talk to her about it she gives me an "oh well" ******** that