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 Posted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 11:43 pm
Helloooo!!!! Helloooo?! Is anyone there?! Do I have to get rid of this cancer myself?
*Takes the grahm cracker off of his tray and begins to scrape it against the large lump on his elbow.*
Who would have thought, cancer on the elbow of all places! And all this hospital provides me with is a grahm cracker to operate with. Not even a plastic spoon?!
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:44 am
The nurse walks in, "I was looking at your charts again when I realized- Oh God! What are you doing!?" The takes the cracker from the patient and throws it across the room.
"Don't do that, you'll hurt the baby."
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 10:57 pm
eek What?! Can it be?! A baby in my elbow? Well hello there little guy, how did you get there?
*Starts tickling the lump* Ah goochy goochy goo! Hehehe!
Oh! I'm Sorry, and you are?
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 5:44 pm
The door gets kicked in.
In walks Doctor Blessed Blade, wearing a labcoat, a face mask, and an eye patch. Snapping on a pair of latex gloves, he glares seriously at Chaos and says in a deep voice, "We're going to have to operate."
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Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 2:08 am
eek Are you sure that's such a good idea with only one eye?! What about that guy, can he operate on me?!
*Points to a man laying in a bed, holding a grahm cracker against his wrist in what is now a claw where his hand used to be*
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Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 8:40 am
"I'm sorry doctor," The nurse says, pulling a revolver from somwhere in his/her yukata and leveling it at the doctor, "I can't let you do that."
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Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 10:32 am
The doctor pulls a revolver from his labcoat pocket and fires it at the nurse.
Imogen Heap's Hide and Seek begins playing. "MMMM WHATCHA SAAAAA-AA-AAAAAY. MMM THATCHA ONLY MEANT WEEEEEEELLLL."
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Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 11:27 am
The nurse opens hisser yukata to reveal... a bullet-proof baby carrier, with a baby in it!
"Before you say anything," The nurse grins, "It's not my child..."
DRAMATIC PAUSE
"It's yours."
(s)he fires a shot into the Doctor's groin, "And there won't be anoth-"
"MMMM Watcha say-" BLAM
"MMM-" BLAM BLAM BLAM
"Bla"
The nurse turns around, tossing the gun to the floor, a trail of tears suspended in the air...
(S)he turns to look back only once, His/her lips parting only to say, "Gas is too damned expensive."
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Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 5:51 pm
*Rolling out of bed, he grabs the gun and pulls another gun out of the lump in his elbow. Pointing the gun at the nurse and the doctor he says*
Now both of you wait one minute! I have had one hell of a day and I'm not going to just lay back and watch you kill each other! scream
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Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 1:48 am
"Oh, sorry, I forgot," THe nurse steps over the doctor, who is even now rolling on the floor in agony, and hands the patient to small cups.
One has a red pill, the other has a blue pill.
"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your hospital bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes."
The nurse shrugs, "take both, and you develop multiple personality disorder and say "whoa" alot."
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Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 9:32 pm
Ha! I was afraid you might pull this one on me, so I brought a back up pill!
*Reaches into the opening in his elbow and pulls out a purple pill. Taking it hand he pops the pill into his mouth and swallows*
Where's your medical science now?!
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Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 9:21 am
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Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 11:53 am
The nurse sighs and shakes his/her head, "Seriously, the purple pill is for boners." She kicks the doctor in the ribs, "If you're into necrophilia, I recommend the cod. Other treatment options include a ten-day stay at a resort spa in Canada, Orange juice taken intravenously, or Ritual Disembowelment." (S)he crosses to the door, a trail of tears suspended in the air in his/her wake, (s)he turns to the patient one last time to say, "Don't eat the pudding."
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Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 4:13 pm
eek Oh crap! I probably shouldn't have taken five of those things then!
*And explosion could be heard, followed by a trail of loud girl-pitched skreams. The sound waves from the explosion and the screaming causes the pudding on the tray to explode sending it in every direction and much of it onto Blade's body, including his wounds. He then faints from the inconsievable amount of pain.*
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Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 8:05 am
The nurse, safe in the hallway, closes the door behinf her/him.
"ew." she says.
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