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 Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 9:57 am
Josh listened to her story, no expression further on his face, as he heard the ending.
He then kissed her lips tenderly, with an intence passion. His lips trembeling. He started singing outloud, as soon as he pulled back his lips,
walking backwards toward the window.
" I want to lay you down in a bed of roses.
For tonight, I sleep in a bed of nails.
I want to be just as close as the holy ghost's,
And lay you down..
In that bed of roses.."
His voice weak, as he sang it over and over again.
He climbed out the window, and stood outside,
on the street while singing the song for her.
A few tears steaming on his face, as he walked away.
Nothing but his guitar in the dark night, thinking to himself.
What have I gotten myself into..
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:41 am
Icea's heart was pounding in her chest and ears. She was shaking all over, waiting for him to speak.
As he kissed her, she could feel him trembling. She reached her hand out to touch his cheek, but it was then she realized he was pulling away and standing. She pulled her hand back, unsure what to think about what he was singing.
She stood up after him, watching him make his way over to the window. Her heart was jumping up into her throat. He was leaving. She had shocked him so much he was just leaving her.
She tried to calm herself down some what. Taking deep breathes, she slowed her heart rate and concentrated on Josh, as he slipped out the window. She stepped to the window where he disappeared and looked down to find him again. ...He wasn't leaving her. She listened deeply to the words he was saying. 'And lay you down... In that bed of roses.'
She grabbed for her iPod in her pocket. She knew what she needed to do, what she hadn't done yet. He had never heard Icea sing, didn't even know that she did. He was going to be in for another surprise.
As the song started, all her emotions were focused so deeply into the words of the song, you could tell it meant something to her and for her to sing it. The song was roaring in her ears, blocking out everything.
She reached her arm out the window to catch a drop of water. It was starting to rain. And she sang.
"My hands are searching for you...
My arms are outstretched towards you.
I feel you on my fingertips.
My tongue dances behind my lips for you..." She was watching him closely as he was walking to the street.
"This fire rising through my being..
Burning, I'm not used to seeing you."
Her soft voice elevated. "I'm alive, I'm alive..."
She sang every word with the most emotion and passion she could dig up from inside her, as the chorus started.
"I can feel you all around me...
Thickening the air I'm breathing.
Holding on to what I'm feeling.
Savoring this heart that's healing."
Her voice went song again, tears were on the brink of pouring from her eyes. "My hands float up above me...
And you whisper you love me...
And I begin to fade,
Into our secret place."
She took a long breath.
"The music makes me sway
The angels singing say we are alone with you
I am alone and they are too with you."
Her voice went loud again. "I'm alive, I'm alive...
I can feel you all around me...
Thickening the air I'm breathing.
Holding on to what I'm feeling,
Savoring this heart that's healing."
She grasped her fists tightly together and hopped down from the window.
Her voice went high. This was, what she thought, was an important part of the song.
"And so I cry...
The light is white...
And I see you."
The rain was starting to beat down harder now. Icea was trying to see Josh through the rain, but it kept running down into her eyes, so she had to keep them closed.
Her soft melody, turned back to the chorus, roaring loudly again.
"I'm alive, I'm alive... I'm alive!
I can feel you all around me...
Thickening the air I'm breathing.
Holding on to what I'm feeling,
Savoring this heart that's healing."
Icea couldn't see him, she couldn't feel him. Maybe he was leaving for good... She almost screamed out, but the song took back over and it could prove more useful in words. She dropped to her knees on the wet ground.
The throat erupted into a fast rage of words.
"Take my hand,
I give it to you.
Now you owe me,
All I am!
You said you would never leave me.
I believe you,
I believe!"
She breathed deep, readying for the last part. She steady her voice and sang softer.
"I can feel you all around me...
Thickening the air I'm breathing.
Holding on to what I'm feeling,
Savoring this heart that's healed." She held the last note a few seconds longer. The song was over and she cracked.
Icea reached up to the sky, letting the rain drench her face, her eyes closed tight.
He is gone... And now I'm alone again.
"Josh, I love you!" She screamed, crying loudly.
Her arms fell back down, she hung her head, soaking wet.
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 11:44 am
Josh heard her singing.
He cept walking, starting to cry soundly now.
He hid his face in his hands, trying to kill some of the sound.
He listened to her soft singing, the words making him want to go back.
He suddenly stopped, seeing her shadow, in the rain.
Josh seemed to be miles away from her,
But he wasn't more then a few buildings away.
He looked back at her, and started running against her once again.
He cried even louder as he reached her, - his eyeliner all over his face.
Josh hugged her closely, singing once again, between sobing.
"This is not the way I wanted things to be.."
He pulled back and looked deeply into icea's eyes.
"I hope some day you'll understand.
That my heart beats.. Stronger.. than no one's close to you.."
The song stopped, and he whisperd.
"I'm so sorry.. I love.. y-you."
He looked at her, and ran a few steps backwards, before turning and running away in the night.
This time, he didn't stop.
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 10:03 pm
[the next day] -yawns- "better dress up.." As Ivana was done brushing her teeth, dressing up and getting ready, she went to mike's dorm and knocked. "Good morning Mike!" She said with a cheerful face.
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Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2007 10:39 am
Icea could faintly hear Josh. He was crying.
The sound started to grow louder, until she realized he was running back to her. This made her cry even more. She could hear the sloshing of his feet in the wet grass, now standing next to her.
"Josh... I know this is all messed up and you don't understand. It's not how I wanted it either."
She looked into his face, his eyeliner running from his eyes. Although you would thing it looked awful, to her he looked even more beautiful that way.
She reached for his hair. "No... I should be the one that is sorry."
It wasn't until Josh started backing away that she understood what exactly he was sorry for. He was leaving.
Icea sighed, watching him run into the distant darkness. She was a little more content now. He told her he loved her. That meant something, right? Surely he would be back, he just needed some time to himself. She understood that.
She slowly found her feet again, swaying slightly as she did. She questioned her strength for a moment then began to walk in the direct of which Josh had ran.
She stopped just short of a tree and sat down under it. She still remembered that first day she meet him under this same tree.
She pulled up her hood, cranked up the volume on her iPod and hugged her knees to her chest, waiting.
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Posted: Sun Jul 29, 2007 5:02 am
Josh ran. He fell, stood up, and cept running.
The song 'Lips Of An Angel', and pictures from their time together, making him cry again.
after a while of running, he came to the outside of the town.
He ran out on a bridge, that was OffLimits.
He used to go there, to think.
Josh layed down, facing up.
The rain washing away his tears, and he started playing on his guitar.
He was writing her a song.
The rain poaring, on his face. He cracked, and started crying while playing.
He took up a ring from his pocket, a ring that he was planning to give her.
He took a deep breath, and threw the ring far away, in the river, below him.
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Posted: Sun Jul 29, 2007 4:49 pm
Icea had been laying under the tree for about an hour, she had passed out not long after sitting.
She woke, she was shaken up.
In the back of her mind, she just knew something could be wrong with Josh.
She stood up and started to walk in the direction he had ran.
She thought that he might end up getting beat up or something similar to that again.
She sighed, walking slowly, taking her time. She wasn't ready to find him, words and thoughts bunched all together, colliding into one. Even if she did find him she didn't know what to say. She wanted to say so much, the words not falling into place.
She had been walking for 10 minutes and was coming to the edge of town.
She started singing along with her iPod, trying to clear her mind.
"I walk alone.
Think of home...
Memories of long ago
No one knows I lost my soul long ago..."
She was coming up on a bridge, the rain still pelting down on her hooded head.
She starting singing where the song picked back up.
"I need to run far away
Can't go back to that place..." She stopped singing. Josh was laying there on the bridge, motionless.
She blinked the rain from her eyes and started to jog over to him. She heart was racing. She wasn't sure what was wrong with him. She was scared to know.
She quietly walked up to him. He had his eyes closed. There was no sign that he had been harmed. She sighed deeply.
Her hands were shaking. She reached out to touch his face, gently wiping rain from his cheek.
"If you love me... then why run away. And when I need you most." Icea said in barely more than a whisper.
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Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 12:19 am
Josh saw himself, and Icea sitting under that tree,
Like the first time they met.
In his dream, everything was perfect, even his eyeliner was.
In reality, his dark hair was a mess, and his eyeliner was all over his cheeks.
But the worst part, she hadn't seen yet.
The worst part was his bloodshot, lightblue eyes.
'It's.. Really good to hear your voice..
Saying my name.
It sounds so sweet.
Coming from the lips..
Of an angel, hearing those words..
It made me weak..'
Next to Josh, there was his cellphone.
He had diled Iceas number many times,
But he didn't have the guts to call her.
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Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 11:11 am
Icea knelt down next to him. She saw his phone laying on the ground next to him. She picked it up and slid it into her pocketing, hoping it wasn't ruined by all the rain.
A new song was playing in her head, a slow sad song. The beat was smooth and it soothed to, calming her.
"Let me be the one who calls you baby all the time...
Surely you can take some comfort,
knowing that you're mine."
She knew she had to take him back to his room. He would get out here in the cold wet rain.
"Just hold me tight, lay by my side...
and let me be the one who calls you baby all the time."
She gently slid her arms under him. It was obviously that he wouldn't wake until he got good and rested. She was aware that she was going to have to carry him back. Not like she hadn't done it before.
"I found my place in the world.
Could stare at your face for the rest of my days..." She sang, while maneuvering him into a position so she could get him up and on her shoulder.
"Now I can breathe, turn my insides out and smother me.
Warm and alive I'm all over you,
would you smother me?"
She managed to stand, swaying slightly under his weight. She pulled at his arms, as gently as she could, and pulled him up to her shoulder.
"Let me be the one who never leaves,
you all alone.
I hold my breath and lose the feeling
That I'm on my own."
She began to walk, uncertain if she could make it back to the school building.
"Hold me too tight...
stay by my side.
And let me be the one who calls you baby all the time."
She could feel that he slightly flinched every now and again. She tried her best to focus on keep him steady, so she could stand steady.
"I found my place in the world
Could stare at your face for the rest of my days...
Now I can breathe,
turn my insides out and smother me.
Warm and alive I'm all over you
would you smother me?"
With every heart aching step she took, the words sunk deeper inside her, realizing how this song meant. It gave her strength. She was determined to get him there, unharmed.
"When I'm alone time goes so slow
I need you here with me
and how my mistakes have made,
your heart break.
Still I need you here with me,
So Baby I’m, Baby I'm here!"
She could feel her gaining speed, everything seemed to be going by in her mind as a blur. She couldn't think of anything, except walking. Keep walking. She didn't even realize how close she was coming to the building. This is... until she was at the front steps.
She gently sat him down on the steps, so she rest.
"Warm and alive I'm all over you...
would you smother me?
Would you smother me?
Smother me..." she continued to sing the rest of the song quietly to herself, while standing at the bottom of the steps.
"Let me be the one who calls you baby,
all the time...
Let me be the one who calls you baby,
all the time...
Let me be the one who calls you baby,
the one who calls you baby..."
Icea could feel herself wanting to curl up in a helpless ball and sleep for days.
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Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 4:01 pm
Josh woke up again.
He looked around confused. He thought he'd be on that bridge again,
Yet he found himself laying back on the stairs, by his well-known schoolbuilding.
He didn't know how to feel about her carrying him, all the way back.
He felt grateful, yet he had the feeling of being soffochated.
Josh stood up, suddenly pucking her up bridal style.
He held his finger over her lips, not wanting any words to be said.
He walked in the building, and blushed.
A small group of girls, looked over Josh, and he tried to ignore it.
He cept walking down the hall, to his dorm.
He shut the door, put out the lights, and layed on the couch.
He quickly fell asleep, cuddled up to a pillow.
Josh had chosen the couch, because then she could have the bed to herself.
He wanted to be alone. At least for a while. One night.
Josh had lived his whole life alone, so all this closeness.
Both fysical and mental, was unknown to him.
And also very hard to deal with.
He cept thinking how much he hated himself,
for being such a horrible boyfriend.
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:45 am
Icea was shocked by Josh suddenly picking her up and having enough strength to carry her to his room. It was obvious that Josh didn't want to talk much yet.
When they back to his room, Josh put her down and he laid down on the couch. I stood there for a second, waiting him. Guess he just needs time...
Icea sighed and knelt down next to the couch, taking his hand. "Now... I know you don't have anything to say right now. And that you don't want to talk for now... I just wanted you to know... I don't blame you for the way you acted. I really don't. It was a total shock to you, I understand. And if you're thinking about blaming yourself for anything you did- Don't." She hesitantly leaned down and kisses his forehead, afraid he might pull away. She stood up and when back over to his bed.
Exhaustion was sweeping back over her body, but there was no way she could sleep. She stayed up all night, sitting on Josh's bed, watching him. Every once in a while she would go to the balcony and have a cigarette.
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 4:38 pm
Josh was still awake and heard her talking.
Yet he pretended to be asleep.
He really had nothing to say anymore.
The girl he loved, had the guts to actually kill someone.
But that wasn't the part that shocked him.
The part that made Josh's head hurt, and reactions spin.
Was the fact that she killed her Parents.
He could understand her sorrow.
And he felt horrible for reacting.
He just layed there, and tried to sleep.
He felt Iceas lips on his forehead,
Being happy she didn't kiss him.
Because usually when Icea kissed him,
He tried to be a passionate kisser.
But this day, his tounge was numb
And his lips dry.
He was sorry for causing all this trouble.
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 4:58 pm
Icea had sat back down on his bed, from having a smoke.
Her body felt cold and numb.
She was exhausted and her whole body throbbed with pain.
Her head was pounding in her ears.
She decided to lay down and maybe relax for a little while.
As she laid back on the soft bed, for found her eyes closing and her breathe steadying.
Soon afterwards, Icea had passed out on his bed.
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 5:20 pm
Josh woke up, late the next day.
After midday though, his alarm-clock started ringing.
He woke up, and looked at the time.
"HOLY ******** managed to yell out.
He sprang into the bathroom, and fixed his black hair.
He put on some eyeliner, and still looked hung over.
Josh held onto his head, and pulled on a ********, ********, ********. Exams.. "
That's right.
Josh had almost missed his schoolexams.
He quickly looked over at Icea.
Just as he was taking his bags, he noticed her moving.
He didn't see if she woke up.
But he wrote a note.
" EXAMS. I'LL BE BACK BY 4:30. SEE YOU AT LUNCH? / JOSH "
He put it on the door, and ran out.
He sprang all the way to his classroom.
Until he got there.
He sighed in releaf.
The door was open.
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 7:11 pm
The sun was bright, pouring in from the window. Icea woke in shock. She was having a nightmare.
She jumped up and went over to the couch. He wasn't there.
She saw a piece of paper. Picking it up, she realized where he was.
The exams.
Icea had come too late in the year to worry about taking the exams.
Icea had just gotten out of the shower, dressed, and walked out the door. It was almost time to meet Josh. She still had to walk all the way to the cafeteria, she figured he might be there, seeing as how he was being active in school today.
She wandered the halls, passing people she had never seen let alone meet.
She was getting anxious to be around someone she actually knew, to be able to block out the strange stares and glances.
Icea had finally made it to the school's cafeteria. She scanned the room, desperately looking for him among the mass of people. It took her a while, but she finally managed to spot him sitting off to himself in the corner of the room. Icea walked over to him, sitting across the table from him.
"So... you wanted to meet me here?"
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