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Amma glared down at her hands while Beatrix talked. Every word out of her mouth made her face twist more and more. Until she felt she was about ready to shoot the brains out of the woman. Her face turned red at her cheeks and she tilted her head to the side, hands trembling in what seemed like anger, but anyone knew it was from depression, sadness, and loss. She only had three people she cared for in her life now, Darius, Adam, and Cherokee. Everyone else left two nights ago.

When she spoke about not leaving being a coward her eyes welled up with tears and she gritted her teeth, her fists clenched and she hissed out a deep breath. After the woman finished she stood up and walked over to the window, a fist moving towards it, moving back, and then letting go. Her body was tensed up so much it looked as though she were about to have a stroke. She felt the tears burning her eyes and she put a hand underneath them to hold back the waterworks.

"You're right." She said, voice weakened around the edges. "I'm weak. I've always been weak. My whole life I've been running. Running from my past, from my mistakes, from everything. I never realized I had been running only to end up right where I started." The air around her suddenly felt cold and a shiver ran up her spine. It was suffocating, thick against her lungs. The world was so real now. The sky was a dull gray, the walls a grunge yellow, her skin was lifeless wood. That was the reality, she wasn't what she believed she was all along. A strong, independent, merciless woman, that wasn't what she was anymore. Instead she was alone, but weak, independent but in need of someone to help her off her feet.

"That's why I never came back...I wasn't good enough for him. That's why. I knew if I came back it'd end up hurting someone. Funny how that's true now, everyone's hurt. I wasn't good enough for him, for Darius, for Joker, or for Justin. I wasn't even good enough for my parents, they knew that. That's why they told me that. They always told me I wasn't good enough, I thought they were liars, but they were always telling the truth. I just wasn't strong enough to realize that."

A smile came upon her face when she turned to look at Beatrix. "Why does everyone have to right? I hate not being right you know. But now...everyone is. I guess I just thought that if maybe I denied it, that it would eventually come true or something. How stupid was that?" Weakly, she fell back onto the bed and stared at Emily, eyes void of something, void of life. "I'm glad for him. I'm glad he has her. She'll make him happier than I ever could. It's funny...how the feelings you feel towards someone sometimes never get felt by themselves. He never felt safe around me that's for sure. Yet...I always felt safe when he was there. I wonder if he felt the same warmth I did too? He didn't...did he?" Her face cracked rid of the fake strong exterior, revealing an exhausted soul, waiting for something to fill the emptiness it felt.

"I told him I wasn't good enough for him you know. I told him."

((Blah, there we go! I thought it'd be better if she just talked like a loser. HAH! She's a loser.))

((XD They can't take out Darius! Not this soon anyways! If he does die, it'll be later, so then we'll have something else to respond to. XD Hahaha poooorrrr peoples! I feel so sorry for all three of 'em! I love them all to death! *huggles Enzo, Cherokee, and Amma* D'awwwwsss. Deep down they're all a bunch of softies that just want to be loooovvveddddd and saaaaffffeeeee. The END! Hah.

Yeah...but I warned you guys, it was gonna be pretty intense. Hahaha. That's what I wanted when I started this, something depressing and still fun...haha. It's funny how we can take pleasure in people's pain...even if they are figments of our imagination.

BLAH! This was a useless OOC POST! Yes yes look at this here, that's what it is! Useless! Just like them! *points at the three* USELESS!

Amma:...You just have to rub the salt in don't you? *punches J*

TT____TT I have abusive characters. Not fair...*looks at Hikaru and then Amma* They hate me I tell you! THEY LOATHE ME SOOOO!

I swear...I'm going to bed now. Goodness...*giggles insanely* I'm making a music video to the DEATH NOTE MOVIE! YEAH BABY YEAH! *is too excited about some anime/movie/manga for her own good* Goodness.

Edit: Someone give me some letters. >:[ If you know what's good for you. *shakes a fist* No...no that wasn't threatening. Not at all. *cough*igaveoutkikissrjsierjskfsdf*cough* No no that wasn't guilt tripping...no no not at all.))

Amma watched Beatrix with her empty eyes and a sad smile to the woman. Every word she said, Amma understood completely. Somehow she felt as though Beatrix understood her as well, maybe not completely, but the way she spoke to her made her feel a little less miserable and a little more hopeful It was the type of feeling a daughter got when her mother spoke to her about life, a spoken thing that Amma had never gotten to hear from her own mother. In fact she hardly heard more than Hello and Goodbye from that person. She wasn't her mother, she was a person, someone Amma never felt empty without.

The only parents she ever had was Darius and Joker, they were the only ones that had come close to family to her. Now she only had Darius, and it still was good enough for her. Darius was more than both her father and mother combined could have been.

"It's nice hearing that from someone else..." She said softly when Beatrix had stopped. A smile was on her face and she laughed, scratching at her scabbed up chin. "Thanks. I know you probably weren't trying to make me feel better or anything...but it did...since I never hear it much except from like two people."

When she asked if she was hungry her stomach growled as if on que and she grinned. "I haven't eaten anything since Cherokee came to the hospital actually...two days...I'm starving. I could eat you and that girl whole right now. And I don't want to be a cannibal." Life seemed to return to her eyes when she lifted herself off the bed and ran a hand through her curly red hair and rubbing at her face.

"I think I really just need an apple or something...I don't think I've had anything decently healthy for years. The only way I stayed average weight was from beating up people and running from cops. Funny how that sometimes works for a benefit."

((That was pretty pointless...but I'm gonna make some guys come the next post, so don't worrry! ))

((MY TURN YEEEEAH, BABY!))

Cherokee looked to Enzo and at his worried and tired face. He couldn't answer that. There was no way he could know. He unbuckled his seatbelt and said the only thing he was sure was true.

"We were careful."

He removed himself from the car and headed towards the motel. "We just gotta hope we were careful enough."

~

Beatrix had laughed a little at Amma's response. "You know... it made me feel a little better too. Damn, I'm good at this." She chuckled and rolled off the bed. "And you're right though... I didn't want to make you feel better... I wanted you to feel miserable and depressed." She smiled coyly. "I'll get us some food. Take care of Emily if she wakes up, yeah?" She laughed. "Oh god. I said yeah."

She was still laughing as she walked out the door. Though, Beatrix's mission for food came to a halt as she spotted a famillar someone in the lobby. She smiled at Cherokee, but ran for Enzo. In an instant she had him in her arms and was kissing him furiously. Cherokee averted his gaze elsewhere, until Beatrix had satisfied herself with Enzo's presence, checking for any new holes of bloodstains.

"Good!" She exclaimed, and nodded at Cherokee. "You won't have to sleep with one eye open tonight!" Though, she paused and saw Cherokee's shoulder. "s**t."

Cherokee shrugged his shoulders (he winced), leading the way back the motel room. "I'll take care of it."

"But it's a mess!" Beatrix called after him, she glanced at Enzo. "What happened?" She said in a low voice, tugging him after her in Cherokee's wake.

((that'll do for now!!!! WOOOO! And whoever posts first can put them all back in the motel room... IWOO WOOO!))

When Beatrix had left. Amma moved onto the bed so she could lie down and she starred up at the ceiling. Her eyes were heavy. The bed felt so comfortable, her body felt weightless and her mind wavered between dreams and reality. Tilting her head to the side she watched Emily sleeping. The girl looked so peaceful, why couldn't she be that peaceful? So innocent.

Sighing heavily she sat back up and moved the covers over the girl's shoulders. Afterwards she checked her belt, making sure her two guns were still tucked underneath as well as her knife. She then sat back down and twiddled her thumbs idly. Her fingers were shaking from a range of emotions; anger, frustration, annoyance, loss, confusion, loneliness.

It was only when she heard someone at the door that she jumped and flung her gun out, aiming to the door. An instinct she supposed...however she had never been as jumpy as she was that moment. She normally handled things as if she could care less what happened...now...now it was different. When the door opened she glared and moved the gun higher, however she breathed in and lowered it back down when she saw the three people that weren't threats...or she hoped.

"God." She hissed and tucked the gun back under her belt. Her eyes studied the area past them quickly, making sure no one was waiting behind them to attack her. "You're not dead. That's always good isn't it?" She smiled weakly to the group before noticing Cherokee's shoulder and her eyes flashed. "You're hurt." Her voice was harsh and anyone walking by would think she was angry as hell at the man. "I guess we all can't be invincible."

She walked closer to him and looked to the wound with a critical eye. A strong need for revenge tugged at her heart when she looked at the blood on his shirt. She wanted revenge for all the deaths and pain people suffered. Yet she was the one who caused it all to happen. She was the one who started Sting and started the rivalry of the two gangs. Many deaths were responsible at her feet. Every day a begging man had come to her she spat at them and told to ******** off. Would she do it any differently if she had the chance though? If it had gone differently would everyone be happier?

"At least they didn't move that bullet just a bit for to the right...you'd be dead." Her eyes moved back up to his face. A raw edge of anger showed in her face, anger not at Cherokee, but at herself. If things had gone differently, would he not be as hurt as he was now? She leaned to the bullet wound and put her lips against it gently. It might have been childish, but didn't they say a kiss made the pain go away? She then backed away and glaned to the windows.

"Right...I don't think they'd be stupid enough to send a couple guys for us. We are worth quite a lot of ego and pride now." A hateful smile spread on her face as she continued to look out the window. "Did you kill the guy that did that to you Big Guy? If you didn't...I'll kill him for you. I'd kill anyone..."

----

Lalala

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" A skittish voice hissed as the group rounded the quarter to the motel. "I mean, she's Scorpian. Won't she just go back and kill the ******** out of us and anyone related to us?"

"You're new kid. If you don't want to do this, you'll be dropped. You want to be with don't you? Anyways, she's a traitor." A big Hispanic man leaned against Amma's car and looked to the many windows before them. "I saw her walk into there. If we can get her out we might be able to..." There was a mischievous glint in his eye and he looked to his skittish companion, who was much skinnier and a little shorter, not to mention paler. "Where's the bat?"

"Ah, Biter has it." He motioned over his shoulder to another big man with dark brown skin. In one large hand was a metal baseball bat. His face looked like stone as dark eyes shifted to the other two.

"You ready?" Came the man's deep, gravely voice after he threw a rolled cigarette over his shoulder and stalked closer to the car.

"Sure are. We'll beat up this piece of s**t car and then she'll have to come out here for a surprise of her life...or end of her life." Said the supposed leader of the small group.

"It isn't s**t...really nice actually...must of cost loads of bucks." The skittish man said with a ratty smile as he ran a greasy hand over the hood of the car. "So what...why is she a traitor? She a boss ain't she? With King? Where's King anyways you don't hear much about him anymore."

His leader smiled darkly and kicked the side of the car in. "Exactly. She shot him for a dirty mutt. You didn't hear? Last year at that club, I saw it with my own eyes. She shot King for some dirty little piece of s**t dog like it was nothing and then walked off smiling and everything. Now she's run down here? Why do you think she ran down here?"

The bronze of the group threw the metal bat against the front shield. Glass splashed to the ground, thousands of shards scattering onto the leather seats and street below. "Then she killed Joker."

"Then she'll kill us Bulls-eye." The leader watched the other man continue to bash the bat into the car, causing more expensive damage to the car. "Next thing you know that b***h will be dropping us one by one until we're all gone. Then she'll be the leader of those dogs. She won't be Scorpion anymore, her name'll be b***h as in female dog." He seemed proud of this knowledge and grinned, showing a set of teeth with at least three teeth missing.

"But then...then why hasn't anyone else gone after her before?"

"Because, everyone else are dumb-asses. All of 'em. I can see what's happening within, and it's bad. It's bad Bulls-eye."

"Real bad?"

"Real bad. And now we'll make it real bad for her..." He laughed and shot a few bullets at the car's windows before whipping out a cell phone and dialing Amma's number. "It's strange how the b***h who made all the rules simply turned against every single one."

"Contradiction." Bulls-eye nodding solemnly and looked around him. "Contradiction."

"Shut up, I do the talking around here."

"Alright. I mean..."

"Shut up." He continued to let the phone ring and when it was answered, pure joy spilled on his rough face. "Hey. You might want to come check on your car...I think someone killed it..."

((Haha I would have done more...but I can't just make Amma dart out of there the minute the other's got back. XD ))

Amma looked to Emily as she woke up. Seeing the child's face made the pain in her heart swell more so than it had already over the past few days. She would have given anything for Emily to have been Justin. And for him to run to her and not Cherokee. When the girl looked away she too looked away and starred at some space in between herself and the wall.

"I should have killed them when I had the chance. You wouldn't be hurt. I guess I'm just used to having others do the dirty work." She grinned emptily at the space she was looking at. She looked as though she was going to vanish any minute. Her eyes were distant and her expression lacking any life.

When Cherokee came out of the bathroom she blinked, shaking herself out of her plane of thoughts and looked to him curiously. Her phone rang and she flinched both out of shock and sudden frustration. Gritting her teeth she slipped the small, expensive phone from her jeans' pocket and looked to the id.

"I almost did once. But I want to have it with me in case someone wakes up and I'm not there. So they...they can call me...and I can say Good Morning or something. Stupid I know...but it's the only number that hasn't changed for them and I'd like for them to be able to reach me any time." She smiled sadly over to Cherokee before flipping open the phone and waiting for someone to talk, which wasn't going to be her.

"Hey. You might want to come check on your car...I think someone killed it..."

"How do you kill a car?" Came her cold response. She could tell the man on the phone hesitated from her dangerous tone of voice, it took him a couple seconds to respond.

"Someone banged it up pretty nasty."

"And you just happened to be there to see the damage? You just happened to be out of Chicago, neglecting your jobs and putting yourself in a life threatening situation because when you get back you'll be either beaten up or killed for disobeying orders." Amma's face looked strangely sinister, a smile on her lips, curled, and her eyes blank, void of that smile. "Seems to me the car won't be the only one." Once again they hesitated.

"Look we were told to come follow you and protect you."

"HAH!" Amma spat into the phone and walked over to the window, she looked down and saw her car, as well as the three men and she laughed again. "That's funny. Because as far as I know, I never gave anyone orders to protect me. The only one that did is gone now. So you're lieing to your boss you know. Isn't that funny? It's funny right?"

"...We came on insti-"

"Instincts huh? That's pretty funny too. If you had instincts you wouldn't have joined Sting in the first place. Instincts would have made your pathetic little asses run to New York or something. Instincts, humans don't have instincts." This time her voice grew even colder and filled with hatred as she glared out the window. "It's a shame you're still carrying the bat you destroyed my car with. A true shame. I hate when I have members in my gang that are that stupid. Really...calling me, telling me to come have a look, you with a bat and gun at hand, and with the possibility of me seeing you. That's very foolish of you."

The three men looked up suddenly and she disappeared from view, turning her eyes to the others in the room with a roll of her eyes. "Fine. I'll come down there. You'll be ready to kill me or beat me up well enough I don't see another day I can walk or maybe talk. That's fine with me. But either way, you'll end up dead too."

"Heh. So you aren't all that stupid after all...traitor."

"Oh! Traitor! That hurts real deep. I think my heart just can't take it." Her face turned dark as she snarled into the phone. "You think this will hurt me don't you? Think you can deal out punishment for turning my back on you. I've been hurt plenty enough to have someone as stupid, dirty, pathetic, and low not do any damage." She then hung up quickly, rubbed at her chin and turned her head to look at Cherokee and Enzo.

The scary demeanor that had riddled her face now shifted to frustration and exhaustion. She was tired of having to deal with these situations, tired of having to talk to people with that voice, that voice that sounded like someone else. That wasn't her anymore. She walked over to Cherokee and smiled to Emily before kissing her dad on the cheek and looking into his eyes.

"I want to go down there. I really want to..." She muttered and rubbed at her chin some more before starting to pick at it. "I need to beat someone up at least. So I'm going down there." When her hand moved away from her chin her fingers twitched and she snatched out her cigarettes, pulling one out and shoving it into her mouth. Instead of lighting it, she began chewing at it, tasting the raw nicotine against her tongue and cheeks, sliding down her throat.

"I'll be back. I promise." Her feet quickly moved to the door, her whole body on the edge and her fingers fidgeted with each other. "I'm so sick of all this crap. So SICK of it. I swear I'll beat them all to a bloody pulp." She growled to herself as she opened the door. "They'll regret the day they ever spoke to me."

((Haha she's scary when she gets mad...*hides*))

((What's Cherokee gonna do you guys?! WHAT'S HE GONNA DO!?...ER... Well... here it goes! Cos I really have no ideaaaa.))

Cherokee's face didn't change after her phone conversation, or at her remark about going, about facing whoever there was to face. He seemed numb to her lips on his face. Emily was tight in his arms, his eyes for a time unreadable perhaps too full of emotion or confusion to be deciphered. Emily watched Amma with her large blue eyes, so much like her father's, clear and pale.

She wouldn't come back and if she did, what would stop her from leaving again? What would save her? No one was safe alone, he, better than anyone, knew that. She'd break. He watched her wordlessly out the door. Emily slid from his arms, watching her from the floor.

Enzo's words passed through him. Emily looked to her uncle, and quickly clung to one of Cherokee's large hands. Her small hand vanished in his own and her eyes were on the floor.

Beatrix pressed her forehead to Enzo's shoulder for a moment before looking to Cherokee. "He's right, Cherokee. It all comes down to... two things." She was looking at Emily, her face hard pressed to remain emotionless. "Who do you love more? Her or your daughter?" She ignored how her voice broke, or the silent tears that Emily cried to the thread bare carpet. "No more chasing her, right? Have her now... or don't have her at all." She paused to steady herself. "You have a daughter... you have family. You can't leave her on and off... that's not how it WORKS, Cherokee."

Emily couldn't look up. Her tiny shoulders shook with all that was in her.

Beatrix plowed on. "Choose! You have to choose... or just... stop her." Her dark eyes glanced away and then back. "Enzo is right... he's right. She'll... probaby die."

Cherokee stared at the door and beyond it. His hands slowly clenched into fists. Emily slid her little hand from his own and stumbled back a step. His face slowly twisted, not in anger, but in anguish, in remorse, in loss and slowly undone promises. Every line of his body spoke of a deep saddness. That's all life seemed to be, undone promises; the threads that held people together, bound them in love or in hope, in friendship... or in family.

"Daddy." Emily said, her voice shaken with tears.

I promise I'll be here in the morning. I promise I'll try never to leave you again. I promise I'll drop this, Enzo, I'll drop it if it means risking you're life. I promise, Amma. I promise, Emily.

I promise.

Cherokee burst out of the hotel room, catching Amma by her shoulder.

"Leave." He said. "Leave and I won't come after you again. I won't. I can't... and I won't. If you're so sick of this s**t, Amma, then STOP. Just stop. I've been telling you... been trying to tell you." He pressed her to the opposite wall. "Trying SO HARD ot tell you... just... stop." His eyes were hard on her face, hard and pleading, angry and loving.

"I won't do this anymore. Emily needs me... and she deserves BETTER than this! I promised her BETTER THAN THIS!" He yelled. "I've hurt her too much, and I'm not going to do it anymore... I'm not going to chase you anymore. I can't have you. I get it. Stop coming back to me and rubbing my face in it... Everytime I get so close..." He leaned towards her floundering in his words, but jerked away. "I'm so SICK of hurting. So sick of it, Amma. If it hurts you so bad... why do you do it? WHY DO YOU DO IT?!" Cherokee wanted to know. "I want to know why you keep doing this to me!"

He looked her over with his broken stare, and ignored how he reveled in her closeness... how he more than anything wanted to lose himself in her, but he stepped back.

"Go." Cherokee said. "I won't be here when you get back."

And he turned and returned to the hotel room, leaving Amma alone in the hallway.

((...taaaa daaaaah!))

((OMG I POST NOW WOO WOOOOOO))

As Beatrix outright told Cherokee what the situation was, his eyes drifted to Emily, who seemed to be getting at least some of what was going on. It twisted his insides, seeing such a young girl so upset over something she couldn't yet possibly understand. It made him angry; angry at Cherokee for putting himself through his mess, angry at Amma for what she did... Angry at himself for not seeing it and trying to stop it.

But now, something WAS being done. Silently, he thanked Bee for what she was doing. He wasn't sure he could have put it as bluntly as she could. And it seemed that it got through. He left the room, and Enzo let out a sigh of relief. "You're amazing, Bee, you know that?" He asked, giving her a loving kiss on the cheek before standing up and gathering the crying, shivering Emily into his arms.

He quietly tried to calm her, muttering into her ear and rocking her as he paced the room. He tried to assure her that things were going to be okay, that they were going on one last trip, and that was it. That Chief was okay, and everything was ALRIGHT.

She calmed down when Cherokee came back, and Enzo let her squirm out of his arms and place herself back into her dad's big, strong ones.

Amma's voice filtered through the thin walls of the motel, and Enzo could hear her screaming profanities, and otherwise just losing control. It set his eye twitching slightly, and he placed himself on the bed, fingers laced through his hair, head bent. She was driving him crazy.

And then she came in, babbling how her friends and family had been killed, how Justin... Her son? Yeah, her son, was dead, and it was her fault, and she was in so much pain and she screwed up and nothing could make it better and-"

"Amma..." Enzo said quietly. She didn't hear him.

"AMMA..." he said a bit louder. She was beyond hearing even that.

"AMMA! DAMN IT JUST STOP!" Nothing.

Giving a roar of frustration, Enzo hopped to his feet, strode over to the upset woman and swung his hand back, connecting it to her tear-stained cheek with quite a force. The sharp 'smack' resounded through the small room, and Enzo met Amma's mismatched gaze with his own dark, irritated one. "ENOUGH, Amma." He said quietly, hands now shaking fists. "Just SHUT UP." He shook his head and pointed at Cherokee.

"Can't you see he cares way too much for you? And all you do... ALL YOU CAN DO is cry and sob and fill yourself with guilt as to what's happened to you. Here's some news, honey, IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE. So WHAT if you ruined your life? THAT'S WHY WE LEFT. To start over. If you keep going back to what you left, how the hell do you think you're SUPPOSED to feel? Happy? Oh yay!" the sarcasm was quite obvious, "I screwed myself over again in the exact same way I did twenty times before this! I AM SO EFFING HAPPY!" He took hold of her shoulders and gave her a good shake, "ENOUGH, Amma. I'm tired of it.

"Tired of what you've done to Cherokee, when all he did was LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU. You've torn the man apart, and what do you do about it? CRY OVER SOME FUGGING MISTAKE YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WAS COMING! If you love him, LET ALL THIS s**t GO. Let it GO, Amma. It's OVER AND DONE WITH, YEAH?

"Because I swear, if I have to hear another of your stupid self-pitying rants, I'll shoot myself. Hell, what's one more death around you anyway, right? Who knows, maybe MINE would snap you out of your self-perpetuating misery. But my guess is, probably not.

"Look at what you have NOW, yeah? There's happiness here, if you'd stop clinging to your ruin of a life. You've got something good, if you'd stop f****ing it up every chance you get. Cherokee loves you, God only knows why, so LET him, yeah? Stop letting him get close then tearing him to shreds, only to go back to him crying like you are now. I'm SICK of it. He's sick of it. We all are."

Enzo took a deep breath and let go of the woman, his dark eyes still simmering with his now very obvious anger. "No one killed your kid but the moron with the gun. You're your own person, Amma, if you let yourself be. Think about that, yeah?" He then slowly walked back to the bed and flopped backwards onto it, letting his arm fall over his eyes. He'd been waiting to say something like that for a really, really long time.

((haha he is SO FED UP WITH AMMA HURTING CHEROKEE! XD;;; Nothing against you J! Hahaha, he just hates seeing his friend so torn up. O.o))