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 Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 7:12 pm
He was simultaneously irrationally irritated with himself and also stunned by how one sight alone was enough to make things twist inside. Wordlessly Jack retrieved a robe and a towel and nudged the one on the floor more in her direction before offering the things up. No prodding just yet; he wanted to see how she'd play this out.
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 7:15 pm
Chel only took the towel and immediately raised herself from the tub. She didn't even bother draining it, just weakly stood out of the tub and wrapped herself in a towel with shaking hands. Stubborn until the end.
"Okay I'm c-cryin' and yer here. Great. Do the thing where you tell me to talk t'you and I do and we move on." She crossed her arms over her chest but even now her face was scrunching up because she was trying to move past this as quickly as possible while still crying.
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 7:34 pm
He'd never been good with comforting people and had shown as much in the recent past. Every bit of her posture said she wouldn't move on this anyway, and every other ounce of himself wanted to just agree and let her work it out on her own.
But she either wouldn't or she couldn't. If she could, this wouldn't have greeted him when he walked through the door. Chel was the kind of person who could devote herself to others—did, in fact, give herself away, to be generous, to make it easier for someone else, to see them happy, and she took on more shifts, burned through her money to celebrate someone else, and waved away offers of true compensation or assured she could handle it. And she could, up to a point. But it became clear on this mission that her plate had been stacked too high. She could try to sweep it under the rug, but her feet were already bleeding from the glass.
For the first time, Jack wondered if anyone had ever given her the same treatment in return. If she had ever even allowed it.
"I'm here if you want to do that," he replied, "and even if you don't."
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 9:10 pm
Chel sighed and crossed the tile. She stared up at his eyes trying to muster a glare for him, but then she sniffled and the flat part of her forehead bumped into his chest. She didn't wrap her arms around him or provide any of her usual affection, just the head touch.
"I know y'are. But y'don't like doin' this stuff an' I know even now yer lookin' at me like a confused puppy." She sniffled and would later apologize for the fluids she was getting on his shirt. "Don't put yerself out over nothin'."
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 9:38 pm
"I wouldn't call this nothing." There were weights on her shoulders, even though he didn't know what the names were.
Still holding onto the robes, he slipped his arm under one of hers and curled up her back until his fist was tickled by the wet ends of her hair and her bare skin. "Doesn't matter if I'm not good at this," he said, not inviting her to come closer so much as he was inexorably pulling her in. Sometimes letting Chel make the decision was the only course or the best course of action; sometimes, however, he felt he had to be firm. Words were one thing and action was quite another. "I'm willing to learn," he added, tilting his head down and brushing against the top of hers.
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 9:53 pm
"Such a charmer," she murmured between dry gasping hiccups, "That's Owain talkin', ain't it." But she didn't resist his pull or the arms, nor did what he was saying fall on deaf ears. It was more that she didn't know what to do with the reaction and was defaulting to covering it in jokes.
Her hands curled up to her chest and she allowed herself to shake under his loose grip. She shook under the enormity that was Jack Hawthorn willing to put himself in an uncomfortable position for her, willing to put himself out there.
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 10:06 pm
"Ouch." He gently rapped a knuckle against her in retaliation. "You know damn well he would have handled this a lot better. Probably romance you with some hippie s**t about how everyone should just live with nature and how trees are so ******** amazing."
Jokes were acceptable. They catalyzed conversations by filling space and softening the moment, and it was better than nothing. It wasn't like he was going to allow her to go anywhere anyway, especially when he had to keep his tired arm and tired legs steady as she trembled.
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 10:17 pm
She wiped her eyes, corner of her mouth tugging upwards but not quite smiling. Owain might have made her feel better, but really only Jack could romance her.
The tiles were dripping wet already and poor Jack was submerged. She didn't like feeling so vulnerable, even with Jack. "C'mon yer arms probably dyin'. Let's go sit down and I'll sob on y'out there." She sniffled and wiped her eyes more, looking very much the vision of patheticness.
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 10:30 pm
Had his body not been killing him, he would have protested moving at all--but the bed sounded too nice to pass up. "Deal."
Jack didn't realize how cold his legs were until they moved, but he tried to keep his shuddering to a minimum as he shepherded Chel. His hand was still numbly clutching at the robe, and he offered it again once they were sitting down; he imagined otherwise Chel was going to freeze.
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 11:27 pm
Chel kept a fierce grip on Jack's good arm, for fear that if he let go she might just crumble to the ground. His shepherding was the only thing keeping her from falling to pieces, and while the guidance would have normally been met with annoyance, she was actually rather grateful at the moment.
She let the towel drop and exchanged it for the robe, but again she didn't bother closing it because once Jack had laid flat on his back, Chel spread herself evenly across him, laying with her head on his chest and her arms folded.
There was an agreed upon silence as she pulled the blanket over them and she breathed, wrestling down what had a hold of her until she had a semblance of composure. It was very quiet when Chel whispered, "I just kinda hate myself right now." Not in general or or her past or in a persisting way, but in the sense that she didn't like the person she was currently or who she was becoming.
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 11:37 pm
He managed to lie himself back in a way that he could keep his glasses straight as long as he kept his head at a slight angle against the pillow. It was a small price to be able to see her clearly.
The question he wanted to was is it me or is it someone else, because Jack's natural inclination was to believe himself so powerful an influence. They'd only been dating for about a month, yes, but they had been interacting somewhat intimately longer than that, and on friendly terms even longer. What he asked instead was, "Anything specific?", leaving it open for her to answer as she felt.
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 11:51 pm
Chel sighed and closed her eyes. It was easier to talk when she didn't have to look at him. "I keep sayin' the wrong thing to people. I piss 'em off or whatever." Jack probably already knew that, didn't he? "And people keep havin' problems like ... like Chris is apparently workin' out but not sleepin' or eatin' and I can't even help him from here."
The nice thing about Chel was that although she hid all of these worries deep down, once she began talking it was fine. She was an open book so long as there was a reader in the first place.
"I got too much stuff in my brain."
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2015 12:15 am
He hummed in thought and let his head loll back against the pillow, seeing as they were both comfortable not watching one another. "Multiple tabs in your head," he said, sympathizing. "Your cousin's a dipshit, Chel. We both know that. You can go kick his a** off a cliff when we get back; a few days won't kill him, and worrying about it won't help you or him."
His words, while typical of most of his responses to problems that weren't his, didn't carry quite the same edge. In bed and warmed up after a long day, everything felt softer.
"Pissing people off is a national sport here. That's not a problem, that's just fact." He curled his good arm around her. "Who gives a s**t what people think online?" He didn't always comment, but he did skim; he'd seen what people thought of her typing and her attitude alike. "Twitter isn't the end all be all."
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2015 12:18 am
"That don't mean I want to be hated," she said quietly.
Jack wasn't helping and her grip on his shirt was starting to tighten.
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2015 12:23 am
He took those as signs that he was veering into unhelpful territory and sighed through his nose. Jack stroked her back as a silent apology and reconsidered the path to take this conversation in.
"Okay. Who do you think hates you?" he asked.
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