
Diary
24th May 2007
Looking back, expecting hope.
Looking back, expecting hope.
Entry
So I'm sitting here, twiddling my thumbs and wondering where life will take me (which is what everyone probably does at some stage in their life). Ever since -- that project, life has seemed to never pause in it's strain against me. The wrath and the consequence of what I got myself into will haunt me forever.
It's very probable that I'll be sitting, just twiddling my thumbs for the rest of my life. I don't blame myself though, I only blame the fact that anything that has happened to me is never resolved without the sacrifice of something that I have worked for. I become very sad, looking back on what could have been.
But I've moved on from that now. I will not let the consequence of what happened on that specific assignment plague me to death. It will not eat away at me, because it was not entirely my fault. As the other members of my group paid the ultimate sacrifice for what they had achieved; their lives.
I'm the sole bearer to everything that they worked for.
And I sit here, with a pile of notes titled in big red, bold letters.
CLASSIFIED
And I think of the years of work, bloodshed, hate, tears, pain, sweat and risk that went into compiling that piece of work.
And without a second thought I burn it. And I move on with my life.
It's very probable that I'll be sitting, just twiddling my thumbs for the rest of my life. I don't blame myself though, I only blame the fact that anything that has happened to me is never resolved without the sacrifice of something that I have worked for. I become very sad, looking back on what could have been.
But I've moved on from that now. I will not let the consequence of what happened on that specific assignment plague me to death. It will not eat away at me, because it was not entirely my fault. As the other members of my group paid the ultimate sacrifice for what they had achieved; their lives.
I'm the sole bearer to everything that they worked for.
And I sit here, with a pile of notes titled in big red, bold letters.
CLASSIFIED
And I think of the years of work, bloodshed, hate, tears, pain, sweat and risk that went into compiling that piece of work.
And without a second thought I burn it. And I move on with my life.
She looked into the fire with longing eyes, the note dissolving rapidly as the flames wreathed and bound itself around the classified piece of information. It marked a new beginning for her, she had a feeling it would take her life to get her life back on track; albeit so, she would make a good attempt of it.
Getting rid of the information was the first step forward success and new hope.
"Goodbye Eva." Her eyes lit up, and she smiled softly, if not fondly.