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I lol'd.

Goatman, a creature you should avoid at all costs. He is one of the USA's most horrific monsters: half man, half goat. He appears on quiet roads, often in the state Maryland, with a shiny axe that he uses for chopping up teenagers.

The police have always had problems catching the Goatman because his strong legs and endless stamina always allow him to get away. No one knows exactly where he came from. Legend has it that he is the result of a top-secret experiment, approved by Washington, D.C. and conducted by the local authorities. Something went tragically wrong.

According to rumors, a scientist was conducting experiments on animals to improve human's physical abilities. Unfortunately, an experiment with a goat went horribly wrong. A power failure took place and a strange mix occurred. When the smoke settled, the scientist had become a monster, some part man, some part goat. Insane with disappointment and fear of what would happen to him, he ran screaming out into the night. The Goatman was loose...

Because of his horrific look, the Goatman developed a special hatred for young, pretty teenagers and his life is now dedicated to killing them. Some of his victims survive because they are in cars when the attacks occur. It appears the monster likes to jump up on the cars and scare the heck out of them. When particularly blood thirsty, he chops the tires so they can't get away. The evil creature then drags them with him, deep into the forest, where he consumes them with great pleasure.

Maybe he is just a story to scare away young couples from places where

they can be alone and make out. Or, maybe not. My advice: if you have to stop, lock your car doors, and look around for anything strange. Do not stop the car in the middle of the woods under any circumstances.

New linkage!
http://www.wikichan.org/index.php/Gideon's_key