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 Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 4:23 pm
"Whaaat?" Mwana squawked. She turned so she could look at him, looking rather bewildered, "The wouldn't have asked you if you weren't fit for it! And...You'd just... up and leave again?" She couldn't believe it! How could he even think about turning up such a position? Didn't he know how important such a thing was? Sometimes she wondered if he had any sense! Many lions would kill for such an opertunity.
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 4:39 pm
"What are you staring at me for? I promised I would take you some place safe, and that is what I am gonna do."
He sighed and rubbed his neck, feeling a bit uncomfortable. Another tough choice to make. Should he become the leader of that pride? He would have power, then again he already had that.... but t if he didn't then he would be free to roam around. But.... what about her?
Trigger's dull green eyes glanced back at Mwana and blushed a bit before sighing.
"If I became a leader or something, they'd probably tell me to find a mate or something and that wou;d mean cubs and then that just leads to more things...."
He sighed.
"I dun tink I am cut out for it."
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 4:53 pm
"It just seems silly. You're perfect for such a thing and you're turning it down..." Mwana murmured, turning her silver gaze away. Inside she was squirming with dismay and confusion. Why, why, would he not want to lead a small faction? Even if he was worried about leading a whole pride that wasn't what this sounded like. It made no sense to her in the least. She shifted with a sigh, resting her head against his fur. "I don't know why you say that. You'd be able to find a mate easily," she encouraged softly.
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 8:17 pm
"No one would dare tred near a Firekin, or any lion they may believe to be one.... they are known for their fierce behavior and their dangerous presence. I doubt any would want to mate with me."
He let her rest against him, her presence was, at least, reassuring. He knew that she was there for him, she was the only one who has stayed with him for this long. His mother, Fuku, Ani, Ashki..... his wretched father, and now her. His ears remained lost in the sea that was his mane.
"Mwana, if I were to find a mate, they would porbably want a litter-no, she would want one, someone to take over after we have passed over. But.... I cannot be a father, no I would not make a good one at the least. If I were to help in the makings of a cub, the mother would have to take care of them for I am afraid I cannot even live up to the minimum standards."
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 1:01 pm
"You certainly like to belittle yourself," Mwana scoffed. Honestly, what was wrong with him? One would think an offer like that would boost his confidence, not pull it down. She didn't understand and it was honestly becoming hard to keep her patience. "If you were really that horrible I wouldn't be here. And I'm probably far less accepting then other females, you'd have no trouble at all," she replied. Encouragement, she needed to keep up that encouragement~ "And why in the world would you think you'd be a bad father? You hardly fit the mold of a poor parent."
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 1:16 pm
"What makes you think I am so great, Mwana? How could I be so good? I am a Firekin, I still have habits.... if I had cubs or a mate or a pride, all of them would be in danger if I were to be the leader, if I were to lose control. I almost lost you from just leaving. I cannot do it...."
Trigger narrowed his eyes as his ears perked upward. His scowl grew deeper at her. What was she getting at? She never complimented him before, she was always snobby and just a pain in the tail. His voice was deeper, much deeper than his usual bass tone.
"And nothing you can do will change my mind."
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 1:36 pm
Mwana sat up, looking very sour indeed. She didn't know why it upset her so much-Once he took her there she'd have other opertunities to get into power. But...it wasn't the same. Ugh, men! Why did they have to be so daft? "Because obviously my opinion on your or anything else has as much relavence as a blade of grass!" she clipped, pulling away from him. "Have fun staying alone and miserable, because obviously that's what you want and what you keep convincing yourself you are!" She huffed and turned around her her light paws, stalking away. Men! You couldn't do anything with them!
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 1:43 pm
Trigger growled and got up himself, but he did not try to follow her. Was she gonna be the one to leave him? After what had happen last time, she was gonna be alone again and end up a mess. As for him, he could take care of himself. She was normal again... well, as normal as normal got.
"Then tell me, Mwana, tell me what is it that you want!"
He roared at her. What did she want to do? He had no idea what to do..... she was likely the smarter one.... what did she want to do? Whatever it was, he would follow it as well.
"Tell me what you want to do, Mwana. Do you want to join me? Do you want me to go? Tell me!"
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 2:20 pm
"You told me," Mwana said, looking over her shoulder and letting her mane fall across her eyes, "that nothing I can do will change your mind. So why are you asking me?" She was so frustrated, so angry. If he didn't like her walking away well tough. He certainly hadn't acted like he was going to stick around a few moments ago. He needed to make up his mind. She wasn't cutting him any slack for being indecisive, especially not when she was making the wrong choice.
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 3:59 pm
"What if I did go, huh? Then what will we do!? Will you come too? Then what? What about your sisters? What do you plan to do if I were to become the leader of something? You don't care if I find a mate? If I do become a father? What then?"
He called out to her. He was so confused that his own words are now contradicting. HE didn't know what he wanted. He knew that he liked her, but he knew that he would quickly be ousted of the pride if he even stepped out of line or did not live up to their expectations..... he just worried that he might not even be able to..... his rage..... his instincts....
"If I did go.... I want you beside me."
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 4:17 pm
Mwana blinked, staring at him with the most surprised, unguarded look she had ever dawned. She had never imagined he'd say something like that to her. Honestly, even if he hadn't been so self-concious and was going to be this leader...she thought she would have had to suck up and sweeten up and work herself to the bone to get what she wanted with him. But instead he was offering it to her, held it out willingly. After so many days of being outcast and unwanted due to her pride it was...almost alien to actually be wanted or apreciated in any form. Especially from him.
She looked away, hiding her eyes under her lashes. Why did he...always have to throw everything she understood upsidedown? This...never would have happened at home. And she was too shocked to tell if she was glad or horrified. "I...though you hated me," she said carefully. He certainly had never seemed very happy with her, which was more of what she was used to.
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 7:23 pm
Trigger kept his eyes on her as they began to soften from their harsh state as before. He left out a drifting sigh and looked away for a moment. Those words.... how were they able to form in his maw and he spilling them out like that? They just flew out without his consent or to his even knowing. It was only after he had said it that he regretted it and yet he felt relieved that he did. The contradictions. His dull green eyes glanced back over at her and gave a long exhale.
"We've gone over this.... I don't hate you, it's just that you bother me sometimes. Isn't that what two lions do?"
Petty excuse, but one nevertheless. He could not help but try to beat around his emotions. Emotions were never a good thing for him, at least not a strong point.
"Forget I asked.... I shouldn't have asked you that."
His head fell away, a bit in shame.
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 7:42 pm
Mwana whinced visably at his new excused. So he was taking back what he said...he was regreting it. She didn't understand why, but having something like that offered and then ripped away was more painful then anything she had felt in a long, long time. It was almost like being thrown from her pride all over again. She quivered, the pain twisting at her heart. It was like bringing a man who lived in the desert to live in a lush river valley...and then throwing them back in the desert with no hope of escape.
"Maybe you should make up your mind before talking about such things," she said, her voice very composed and her air very cold. There would be no more displays of familiarity, no more casual conversation, for look at where it got her-sent her lower then when she had been with her siblings. She turned her head back slowly and began to walk away a slow pace, her paws feeling heavy. She hated him for being so cruel-but she hated herself for forgetting that trust wasn't an option for a lady like her. It only knocked her down over and over.
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 8:05 pm
Trigger sighed and moved away from her in the opposite direction. He didn't know what he wanted anymore. He was sort of wishing that his brother Trig was around to help him out a bit. At least he'd know what to do, he was the smarter one. He should be the one leading the pride. Trig was bigger, he was smarter, kinder, well mannered, and better yet, not a Firekin like he was. What would have happened if he stayed with Trig back at the cove along the shoreline? Would things have changed? No Mwana, no sisters, no pride..... but then again, he would not have met Dhamisa and her daughter, the two females that he cared for for a night. He would never have met Elly, the Goddess of Tornadoes and learned of the God of Strength... he'd have never met that group of cubs, Limbua.... Kumbuko, hybrids and yet so sweet and innocent.
If he had not gone on this journey to find himself a home.... he would have missed all of this. The ups and the downs. A pride.... it would certainly be a place to call home.... if he was leader then he would not have to listen to anyone but that couple.... wasn't that the purpose of this entire thing? And his promise.... he said he'd take Mwana someplace safe. And she was rather safe with him too. At least, he would be the only one hurting her if that. A home, no one to listen to (with exceptions), a promise.....
Trigger looked back at her.
A moment.
He sighed and quickly went after her.
"Alright, alright, I give. I'll be the leader, but what about you?" he hesitated for a moment. Was he really gonna go through with this? Will she? "Will you come with me?"
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 8:14 pm
"Do you enjoy taunting me, messing with my head?" she asked levelly, giving him a sharp look. She couldn't handle this up and down. She didn't know what to believe anymore. One minute he wanted her to stay with him, the next he hated that decision, the next he asked it again-she didn't know which to follow. "Because you keep changing your mind and how am I supposed to know when you've finally stopped tossing me around?" There was no anger in her voice, only a distance that chilled her heart. She couldn't handle it anymore. She didn't want to be that man in the desert, always dreaming of the land he had lived in for a short time only to be thrown back into hell.
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