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 Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 2:58 am
Lucas wasn't the only one who felt a massive blush settling in under the fur of his face. Though as always, the exposed skin on the inside of his ears turned beat red.
Ambrose was starting to wish that he hadn't shared that story as well. Especially misconstruing the relationship that Lucas had with Em.... oh boy he was having a bad habit of digging himself into an awkward hole today.
"I.... hmm... well, then... that's ... uhm.. good!" Fidget. "I'm glad that you guys are friends then.... friends are vital here." Yeah, really great save, Ambrose.
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Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 3:11 am
"Um, yeah. Good friends." Lucas rubbed he back of his head. "I'm not sure how you came to the conclusion that we were a... couple." He had an idea, though. One that he wasn't about to give any thought. At least not now, anyway. It opened up a whole other set of questions.
"It's, uh... been, what? Five months since we met? Have things been okay with you?"
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Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 3:15 am
He shrugged self-consciously. "I... am not sure... maybe the thing about being lucky that she was there... or.... yeah...." What was it with him today and sticking his huge feet in his mouth? First with Marshall and implying that he might be gay... now Lucas and Emelyn.... great.
Best to move on. He seized on Lucas's change of topic. "I've been doing.... well... passable. Angelina and I are doing well.." Except for his paranoia about her complications... "It's just.... well, I'd advise that you stay out of the jungle. Between Annie and Jamal...." He shook his head irritably.
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Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 3:19 am
Did he say something like that? He couldn't remember for sure, but he didn't think so.
"Not that I can do much walking right now. Who are Annie and Jamal?" More names he wasn't familiar with. But if they were dangerous, he wanted to hear about them.
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Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 3:22 am
"You don't know...?" Ambrose breathed warily. "I thought everyone had.... Annie.... the crazed... wolf..." Amnbrose hated using that distinguishment. "She..... went mad - dark fur and hardly human any more.... And Jamal is the white tiger. Both of them somehow got their chips out and have been killing guards and attacking other islanders..."
He shook his head. "Jamal seems sane half the time... the other half.... He's a loose cannon. HE threatened my life the last I saw him. Stole a jeep and ran it into my duplex. But the time before that he was by my side fighting off Annie. I don't understand. Both have a murderous vengence against the labs."
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Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 3:35 am
"Crazed? How?" He recalled his meeting with the frog-janitor. "No, I didn't know. So that's who Newton was talking about. He actually drove into your duplex? Geez... You and your girlfriend are both all right?"
He grimaced at the mention of the chips and a hand moved up to where he imagined his might be. He could still recall the labs putting him out. His hand pressed against his eye and he groaned.
How much different was he from Annie or Jamal?
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Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 3:39 am
"Just... crazed. Murderous, mad, and feral. But smart enough to be even more dangerous and hard to catch." Ambrose shook his head with a shudder.
"And yes, thank goodness. Neither of us were in the duplex at the time... but I'm worried what might happen if he tries again. He has a grudge against me, and if he can't be buzzed..." His ears flattened.
As much as Ambrose had mixed feelings about the labs.... he wished that they'd catch them. They were a looming threat to everyone.
"I'm sorry to be the bearer of such bad news."
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Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 3:50 am
"I...I hope he is caught." Part of him wanted Jamal caught so that Ambrose and others could feel safe. Then there was another part that liked that the tiger was taking out guards.
Lucas shrugged. "Not like you could make things any worse than they already are." His arm was getting tired of holding his hand over his eye. Letting it drop, he sighed. "Sorry... I didn't mean for anyone to see. I don't even know what I look like. I took my bandages off and just haven't thought about putting them back on. I probably should before Emelyn gets back." He glanced around, wondering where Emelyn had put them, still trying to keep his left eye out of view.
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Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 3:54 am
Ambrose's eyes darted quickly to the stitched up eye before returning back to the floor. Morbid curiousity made him look... and years of hammering decorum made him look away. It was impolite. Mustn't make him feel any more uncomfortable.
"It..... looks like it was well stitched..." Ambrose tried to console. "I'm sorry, though."
"And... I hope that he is caught as well. I think that things could always get worse... don't tempt fate." He gave a bitter snort. What if Jamal wasn't caught by his wedding...?
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Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 4:02 am
"Well stitched, huh?"
Lucas laughed bitterly. "What? Kick me out of my duplex? Take my other eye? I can't use my hands anymore. Or walk right. They've already taken everything."
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Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 4:06 am
A bitter expression settled onto his face. "The labs you mean." He had been thinking of Jamal... of Annie. "Well... yes. All those things. Or more. There was a period of three months that all of us were locked out of the duplexes. The power turned off. We didn't know what the hell had happened. Pyroth has become a four-legged coyote. No hands at all. I am certain that your imagination could come up with more.... " Like it or not, they were at the disposal of the labs. And Ambrose had been pressed to being scared to take that for granted.
"But for what it's worth, I am sorry."
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Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 4:16 am
"Emelyn told me about the lockout." At that time Lucas wasn't at all worried about the labs kicking him out of his duplex or turn him completely into a dog. It wasn't that he believed they wouldn't do it, more that he didn't care if they did. He just didn't care.
About the only concern he had was for Dasher, who depended on him. It would completely crush him if something happened to the dog. Especially if it were his fault.
He paused. "There was something I'd been meaning to ask since my second change. I wish I had spoken to you before all of this. The wolf," he gestured to Ambrose. "How do you control it?"
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Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 4:22 am
There was a pause as Ambrose's ears flattened against his head.
"The 'wolf'..." He started. Unlike some of the other islanders, Ambrose didn't like viewing instincts as a separate, animal entity within. It sounded... well, crazy for one, but it was such a strange association.
"I don't think of this animal living in my head trying to tell me what to do." Ambrose started, trying to put to words how he felt. "The serums are... altering us, yes. But instincts... urges... it's not coming from some whisper of something else, but urges in the blood. For me, I don't try to disassociate it with something else... I think that that would only encourage it. If you give it a face you would give it strength. It would become... this one side of you that you lump together all of the new aspects, and it makes it harder to deal with them. INstead.... view each urge, each instinct as it is. It's an urge that comes from you. You have to decide what you want to do, just like you would anything. If you saw something frightening... you might want to run, or fight... but that's what your mind is for. You can decide. You... choose your battles. There are a lot of instincts, some of them probably even imperceptable - things I wouldn't have noticed unless ANgelina pointed them out to me they're so subtle. Building off of who I was before all of this. But keep in mind what you value of your SELF. Your ethics and your morals. And just like any situation, hold yourself to those ethics regardless of waht you might feel like doing. Shaking yourself dry... wanting to be around other people... maybe wanting to go out for a run.... or.... a howl.... they don't hurt anyone. And if you choose when to do it, you're still in control of your life. You can present yourself as the person you want to be."
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Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 2:42 pm
"So you're saying accept it? Let it come out and embrace it?" He shook his head. "I...don't think I can do that. I can't." He buried his head in his hands. "I don't want to be an animal. I can't accept this. I can't let it out." The thought obviously scared him. He had hoped Ambrose had found a way to silence those instincts or repress them. Was he like Zach? Accept being the animal and love the Island for the "gift" given to them? No... there had been dislike in his voice before when the labs were mentioned. So had he just given up?
Would he have to give up? The left side of his face stung.
He groaned again. "You seem like a strong person. I'm not. I don't know how to handle this." He didn't believe he could.
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Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 6:43 pm
Ambrose outright scowled. "I am not an animal!" he snarled. "I have not just rolled over and let it take me over! Is that how you see me?" He asked incredulously.
Ambrose stood up suddenly, letting his height tower over the seated lucas imposingly. "Do your own research and pick your battles. From everything I have read, a canine serum is mild by comparison to most. They are social animals and their social structure is not too different from those of ... humans." Ambrose hated using that term from an outside perspective.
"Even most dogs of the four-legged variety can learn to reign in aggression, especially if they were raised among humans. Even THEY can view humans as part of their packs. If you cannot do that simple task and streamline what you feel with who you want to be, then I pity you." He growled. Ambrose was agitated and he did not reign in his words. He was no animal. He was better than that. He was still the man he wanted to be.... wasn't he? He barely knew this Lucas and he was making judgments about him! Sure, he had changed some... they all had, but he had kept what was important. Even if recently he felt much more easily agitated...
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