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 Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 8:50 pm
"Doesn't like to be tied down..." she echoed softly, contemplating the words. "It sounds like, to me, he wouldn't mind being 'tied down' to one such as yourself, Rogue."
Though she continued smiling, Nos felt a pang of jealousy at hearing the mare's words. Why couldn't she have a stallion who was always there for her? Who would even threaten to stick around, even if she didn't want him to? Jean had stuck around, all right, until the fun times were over, and Nos worried that he wouldn't find any 'fun times' at all when it came to raising foals. But no bother.. she would manage on her own... like she always had before him. Only this time, with a few more mouths to feed.
Listening back in on the situation at hand, her ears quickly perked when she heard Rogue mention Remy's.. other family?
"He already has offspring?" She questioned, slightly bewildered. Rogue didn't seem like a mare who was already an experienced mother. Could that mean that this Remy had been with another mare before Rogue? Or perhaps, adopted an orphaned foal?
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 9:03 pm
"That's what he said but its .. some times it's hard to believe it." She was used to being almost useless to everyone and being alone so she couldn't fathom why someone would want to stick by her side.
"That's part of why i'm well worried. He already has a family. One he had before he decided he wanted to be with me. If i've got foals too then he'll have to be worrying about them while he's already got a family to worry about. I don't want to be a problem." He had said it wouldn't be but she was still worried that she was just going to take time away from his other children.
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 10:56 am
"Hard to believe?" One eyebrow raised itself as Nostalgia gave Rogue another look. "I don't see how that's possible; you're a very beautiful mare. True, your colors are intriguing, but very pretty at the same time. I don't know you well enough to pass judgement on your personality, but from the little we've discussed, you seem to be a friendly mare with a good head on her shoulders. I don't see how you could hardly believe that a stallion would want to remain by your side." She paused, her head tilting slightly, "Now... try wearing a dress like this one around and you'll find more than just stallions will give you an odd look."
It felt good to laugh again, and she felt the soft chuckle escape from her dry throat. Meeting this mare had definitely done her some good. There were still some knights in shining armor around, from how she spoke of her Remy. Nostalgia only hoped that Remy would take care of his emerald tinted maiden and wouldn't abandon her should the 'fun' ever go away.
"If he's a faithful stallion, I'm sure his determination will allow him to work it all out in the end. You probably won't receive as much attention as you would like, but since his other foals are older, perhaps they won't require as much attention from their faither anyways?"
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 3:32 pm
"It just .. takes getting used to i think. I didn't stick around with my parents for very long so i've been alone for a while. I guess it's just, weird, to think that someone wants to stay around me for longer than a few hours." Obviously it wasn't that weird since he was staying with her so far.
At the mention of his other children she laughed softly. "They seem like they're very independant. I don't think they will need all that much looking after once they're grown."
Remy's other children were cute and she liked them so it wouldn't be that bad of a thing to have then in the family. At least they could give her foals someone to play with.
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 4:03 pm
Nostalgia nodded, pretending to understand. It wouldn't do any good explaining her situation; she never had parents to begin with. She was more or less formed by the Spirits with the intention of doing their bidding, and that's what made her the ghostly form she was today. But there was no sense spoiling the secret to the mare; Nostalgia enjoyed having someone believe she was like any other alicorn in the world.
"It'll just be one big happy family, albeit, an unusual one," Nostalgia said, still smiling, "Hopefully, the other mare Remy was with doesn't mind his change of heart?"
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 6:54 pm
"I think she does. Well i would hope that she did if Remy's still on speaking terms with her and he's with me too." Her nose scrunched slightly as she thought about what was going to happen when Remy told Kitara about him having foals with her.
"I wonder if it really was a change of heart ..." Remy had made advances toward her the first day they'd met. It still irked her slightly that he said he loved her but had gone and had foals with someone else but she'd work past that eventually.
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Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 5:28 pm
"That's a situation I don't envy you over," Nos said quietly, trying to imagine a stallion she'd never seen before explain to his first lover that he was having foals with another mare.
"Hearts can definitely change," she continued, thinking about her own situation. "I sometimes wonder how I could have thought of myself being in love to begin with."
Looking up, her eyes met with Rogue's. "Tell me, Rogue... how do you know you're in love?"
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 6:19 pm
"I ... well ... i'm not completely sure i'm in love. That's a strong word." She shook her head slightly and thought about it for a minuet. She did like Remy and she liked him around and she was having foals with him but was she really in love with him? She probably was partially in love with him but she defiantly didn't have those feelings that mothers talked about.
"I like it when Remy's around. He's funny and even when he gets on my nerves i forgive him because he says sorry if it's something big or he makes me laugh about it so i forget i was mad." Her tail flicked sightly as she though about her almost mate. "It's not one of those floaty feelings like my mother used to talk about. I defiantly don't think I'd die if he wasn't around or anything like that but i do miss him when he's gone."
Usually he was gone because he had another family to take care of so that was alright. She wasn't going to get in the way of that.
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 8:59 pm
"Hmmm," Nos mumbled quietly, listening intently to what the other mare said. She tried to compare the feelings Rogue felt of Remy against her own feelings of Jean. And things weren't looking quite the same.
"I wonder if there are different ways of loving someone," she said softly, hoping she was audible enough to be heard. "I want to say I'm in love.... but I don't really think I am at all. I feel horrible for saying that, being pregnant with his foals... but I don't really think I am."
She turned and looked away, ashamed of the feelings betraying what she once thought she had hoped to have. What was love? Did she ever truly experience the feeling? Or was it all just lust and hopes of finding the one... and accidentally falling for the wrong stallion in the process? Was she too quick to jump to conclusions and would now be forced to pay the price for her actions? Or was this truly love...
Whatever it was, it gave her no warm, fuzzy, happy feelings. Only coldness and dissapointment... and she hated every moment of it.
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Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 1:02 pm
"There are i think ... i mean you love your mate one way and your children another and your friends another." She even liked the two foals of Remy's she'd met so maybe one day she'd come to love them in some way too.
"Maybe ...... maybe you felt it for a moment for him? Feelings are hard things." She felt bad for the other mare. It must be hard to be carrying foals for a stallion you didn't love. "Take it as a learning expierence? Just love your foals and if he leaves or if you leave him know that you are stronger for it?"
If you didn't learn from things then where would you be? No where she guessed. That was how you grew up. You learned from what you did and you tried not to do the same things again.
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Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:56 pm
She nodded, listening to the wise words of the other mare.
"It's definitely been a learning experience," she agreed, flushing a bit with embarrasment. What a fool she must look, being so large and fat with babies from a stallion she had just openly admitted to not loving. Not a fool... a tramp. A harlot mare who learned her lesson the hard way, and will have living breathing evidence of what she had done for the world to see.
"I can only hope he'll understand, once I tell him. Or should I even tell him?" she paused, thinking over the options she had. "Tell me... would you insist on Remy telling you if he didn't love you? Or would you rather go on living oblivious, in a happy state of never knowing?"
She could probably force herself to pretend to be happy and stay with Jean, for the foals' sakes. But should she? What about her own happiness?
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 3:28 pm
She didn't think the other mare looked like a fool. She just simply made a mistake. So long as she cared for the foals like a good mother and always loved them then no matter how they came into the world the mare would be everything she wanted.
"If ..... if he didn't love me I'd want to know. It would hurt but i would rather know than keep pretending." She shook her head slightly. If you lied about something like that then it would just build up until it came out when it shouldn't and would cause more damage than it had hidden.
"If you don't love him then leave him. Tell him and explain and make yourself happy. Even if he hurts for it in the end it's better that the two of you part rather than staying together and being miserable."
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 6:28 pm
Her words made it sound so obvious of what she should do. It was simple... just tell him it's over and then it's done. Go on living your life, raising your foals, and use the rest of your time discovering yourself.
Why, then, if it seemed so easy, did she have such conflict in her heart?
She wasn't used to having problems to deal with. She had a job to do, did her duty, and that was that. There were no options, no choices, no decisions to make. Everything had already been decided for her.. and when she finally got the chance to be free and live life how she wanted, she felt so confused as to what to do.
Yes... she wanted to leave Jean. She was going to leave him. Nostalgia knew it would hurt him; although they rarely saw each other, she knew somewhere, deep down inside, he had to have SOME feelings for her, if he had wanted to be with her to begin with. But then again... didn't that mean she'd had to have had feelings for him in the beginning as well? Or was it lust on both ends... lust and want of affection and companionship, but looking in the wrong areas for the wrong thing?
"I would much rather hurt him if it meant for me to be happy in the end.... " she finally concluded out loud, trailing from her thoughts. Her lavender eyes hardened, and she felt her feelings growing colder. Did she really just admit to being so selfish... as to wanting to inflict pain for her own well-being? That wasn't like her... but then again, jumping into a relationship like she had was out of character for her as well. Perhaps there was more to discover within herself than she knew about.
She nodded her head in the other mare's direction. "Thank you, Rogue. Having someone to speak with about this has really unburdened my heart. I feel so much better now... keeping thoughts like that to myself did me no good at all."
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 7:14 pm
She nodded and smiled at the other mare. "See. It wasn't that hard. Sometimes you just have to be, well, selfish if you want to get anything out of life." She'd learned that watching Remy just do whatever he pleased to get what he wanted.
If he hadn't been selfish and decided that she would be his then they probably wouldn't be together today. He would have found someone else and she would have just kept looking for something that didn't exist.
"If you ever want someone to talk to ...." She really didn't have a lot of friends so maybe she'd made one today. "I'm usually around the lake. If you want you can find me i'm sure." The other mare looked like she could fly so it wouldn't be all that hard to find her if Nostalgia wanted.
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 8:38 pm
Nostalgia smiled, secretly ecstatic at Rogue's suggestion of meeting once again. She wasn't used to having company, especially the kind that didn't judge what you did or how you thought. Her ghostly form didn't seem to startle her either, which was all the more better for the both of them.
"Yes... I would enjoy that very much, speaking with you, just as I have today." Nostalgia responded, shifting her weight from one side to the other. Her stomach reminded her of just how uncomfortable a situation she had gotten herself into, and if she didn't return and talk with Jean soon, the babies would arrive far too quickly and would complicate things.
She smiled at the other pregnant mare, and nodded her head in return. "Until then, I wish you blessings of safety and happiness, with your new family. I hope we meet again soon, and perhaps one day I shall meet this Remy of yours."
And with saying that, she turned and hobbled her way down the path she had charged in from, her chains dragging slowly behind her, as she went out in search of Jean once again.
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