x_Hikari_x
Wow, I really wasn't expecting such a response, lol.
I do realize that perhaps it is just me bing miffed about it not being my Dad up at the pulpit. For the 18 years of my life he was there, and sitting under the sound of someone else's voice is just...odd. The other hard thing is that this youth group in particular has a reputation (albeit a bad one) for being very exclusive. But the youth pastor there now is amazing. I mean, I can't even say enough good things about this guy. He's totally into it, and he understands. He's working to make the youth group less exclusive. He talks to me all the time, and I've told him most of what I said. The evening I first posted I was at youth (not wanting to go) and a good friend of mine called and asked me if I was going. Afterwards the youth pastor and I had a long talk, and I told him that I hated church, lol. I think that if you can tell a pastor that and he understands, he's a good guy.
I also realize it is on my part, too. I have to let the wall down and get into it. Worship is my favorite part, and I'm struggling with it. Just at that church, though. But I think I've built up such a resentment for the whole situation that I just can't do it any more. I'm like "God, I'm not feeling it." Of course, He's like "I don't really care." One time, I got, "And what if I don't really feel like answering your prayers." That shut me up pretty quick.
The other problem is I can't just up and leave to go to another church. If it was up to me, I'd still be at my old one. But family is really important to my parents, and they have stressed over and over that we need to go to church as a family. My youngest brother never really connected with anyone at our old church, cause there was literally no one his age, and the reason we're there is mostly for him and my other brother (who would rather go to a different church...) but I just have to deal with it.
I think part of my plight is that I think I'm more spiritually mature than some of the youth. Don't get me wrong; I'm not all holy and righteous...I won't even pretend to be, I just feel that way (I could be totally wrong) and I've been told that, but I just feel like I want to whack half the youth group over the head with a 2x4 and scream at them 'Don't you get it!' I'm sure I'm not the only one that has had this feeling...but I think I'm in a better position now because of the youth pastor. I'm hoping to come under his leadership, which will help me lots. I have a desire to learn more about God and who He is, and becoming a better person and Christian and all that jazz...so I hope it all will work out.
Providing I can get passed everything in my own heart, that it.
I do realize that perhaps it is just me bing miffed about it not being my Dad up at the pulpit. For the 18 years of my life he was there, and sitting under the sound of someone else's voice is just...odd. The other hard thing is that this youth group in particular has a reputation (albeit a bad one) for being very exclusive. But the youth pastor there now is amazing. I mean, I can't even say enough good things about this guy. He's totally into it, and he understands. He's working to make the youth group less exclusive. He talks to me all the time, and I've told him most of what I said. The evening I first posted I was at youth (not wanting to go) and a good friend of mine called and asked me if I was going. Afterwards the youth pastor and I had a long talk, and I told him that I hated church, lol. I think that if you can tell a pastor that and he understands, he's a good guy.
I also realize it is on my part, too. I have to let the wall down and get into it. Worship is my favorite part, and I'm struggling with it. Just at that church, though. But I think I've built up such a resentment for the whole situation that I just can't do it any more. I'm like "God, I'm not feeling it." Of course, He's like "I don't really care." One time, I got, "And what if I don't really feel like answering your prayers." That shut me up pretty quick.
The other problem is I can't just up and leave to go to another church. If it was up to me, I'd still be at my old one. But family is really important to my parents, and they have stressed over and over that we need to go to church as a family. My youngest brother never really connected with anyone at our old church, cause there was literally no one his age, and the reason we're there is mostly for him and my other brother (who would rather go to a different church...) but I just have to deal with it.
I think part of my plight is that I think I'm more spiritually mature than some of the youth. Don't get me wrong; I'm not all holy and righteous...I won't even pretend to be, I just feel that way (I could be totally wrong) and I've been told that, but I just feel like I want to whack half the youth group over the head with a 2x4 and scream at them 'Don't you get it!' I'm sure I'm not the only one that has had this feeling...but I think I'm in a better position now because of the youth pastor. I'm hoping to come under his leadership, which will help me lots. I have a desire to learn more about God and who He is, and becoming a better person and Christian and all that jazz...so I hope it all will work out.
Providing I can get passed everything in my own heart, that it.
