|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 2:35 am
"Life can be a journey full of heartache," she said slowly, watching the sorrow in his eyes, "But it was never meant to be made alone."
She knew her words were meant for him, as well as any other Earth born Soquili, but she wondered if those same words would ever apply to herself. Could she herself find love in the world of the living? And if she did, would it be possible to make a home... make a family with the living? These were questions she could not answer... she wasn't even sure she was capable of this "love" everyone seemed to be after. She saw it and knew what it was, but in her heart, she longed for personal affection from a stallion she could call her own. But was that truly love? Or just the want of attention? In the end, it may not even matter... the Spirits might decide it was time for her to return to her duties and she'd be forced to leave everything she had begun on Earth unfinished.
Her smile grew brighter as the stallion thanked her for her offer of help, and her ears perked with curiousity as he spoke of family.
"I would very much like to meet this Astia you speak of, one day. Any mare who is blessed by having your love must be a magnificent horse indeed. I can see you as being a stallion with very high standards, Bairn." she said, teasing lightly, hoping to bring the sorrow out of his eyes by speaking of the one he loved. "And what do you mean, 'like this'? Don't you think you're fit enough to be a father right now?"
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 4:03 pm
Bairn nodded, oh how true she was. Never alone, no...seperate, maybe...from the rest of the world but there was always someone for everyone. Like your family, a lover, or a best friend. No one was ever alone...they all had someone, no matter who they were. "Everyone has someone, no matter how long it takes to find that one person. There is always one other out there. I found Astia, on accident mind you...and I'm not regreting that one bit, anymore." The stallion could tell that now Nostalgia was deep in thought about something...and since the topic so welcomely turned into one about love, perhaps she was thinking about her own future?
Was it strange, for creatures like her to have that feeling? Bairn wondered so...because it was indeed hard for even him to admit his feelings at first...love isn't about having fun with the other being, or any of that romantic crap in his mind. It was mainly more about knowing that this certain creature was right for you and that you could see yourself growing old with them. Or rather, starting a family.
Ah, so now the conversation decided to take a lovely turn onto Astia? That was something that secretely bothered him, taking about the one he loved. It made him feel as though he was weak, something he couldn't explain unless he really wanted too. Nodding again, Bairn spoke up. "Really now? Well, Astia will be more then happy to meet you, my dear. Any mare that is good enough for me to not ignore and actually have a rather pleasent conversation with is good enough for her. She's very nice, very fragile and sweet." He paused for a moment, and did his best to smile. Talking about Astia was hard for him. "She really is a magnificent horse, really. Haha, I may seem like I have high standards, and indeed I'm sorry to say that's true...but she caught me at a bad time and I was kinda forced into this love. But I'm really in love now, Astia..she's amazing." A real smile was planted on his face at that time, some reason he didn't mind saying that part.
Now came the explaining part, thought Bairn as he heard Nostalgia's last question. "No, not now. Me and Astia are so far apart, we rarely see eachother. And I'm too...different then how a father should be. Like my own, very loving and playful. I'm protective, yes...very...but I just don't see myself as a good one. I'd hate to see the little ones all torn up because of my own cursed personality."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 3:25 am
She pawed the ground softly with her front hoof as she digested what he was saying.
She found herself smiling as she watched Bairn speak of his love. He seemed almost embarrassed at first, like he was ashamed that he was capable of falling in love. "Stallions can be so silly sometimes," she thought to herself, wondering what Bairn's potential mate looked like.
Then Bairn began to speak of being a father, and she couldn't help from speaking up. "Being a father isn't just about being playful, you know." She finally said, her lavender eyes gazing at him, "It's about protection, and love. Not every father treats their child the same way, so I don't see why you should rule yourself out of the position, really. You would be a gentle father; it's obvious from your personality that you would care and provide for your offspring... I think you just doubt yourself too much."
Nostalgia wondered if he would scoff at her thoughts. She wouldn't blame him if he did After all, she couldn't speak from personal experience. She never had a father or a mother to care for her... she was always just... there. Sure, she was able to witness many a familiy affair in her job of being the Christmas Past Spirit, but that was the extent of her knowledge of fatherhood.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 1:36 pm
He sighed and listened to what she had to say about the topic. Everyone acted so wise all the time and had their own opinions, of cource...but no one truly understood what he meant when he spoke his own words. Except Aruna...everyone else just seemed to think he was a babbling stubborn fool. Maybe now Nostalgia viewed him the same as everyone else.
"But my father was playful and funny and look at how I turned out!" Bairn laughed, and made a quick pose. It was a complete joke of cource...but he meant it to be that his father was in fact the greatest father ever. "I guess your right though, my dear...no two fathers are alike. I'm just worried that they might turn out like Astia, or myself. I don't want them to be like me, I cannot stand to see my children be tortured with my emotionalness. I would protect them to the end, of cource...and love them...I just think they'd be better off with someone who isn't like me."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 3:29 am
"What's wrong with them being like you?"
She tilted her head to one side questioningly. She wouldn't have minded a father like Bairn... she was never one for sillyness and games. Just someone to love and look after her... that's all she ever wanted.
It was obvious from the stallion's expressions that he had heard the same opinion voiced many times and was getting tired of it, and Nostalgia regretted having said anything to him in the first place. It was his life to lead and his decisions to make, and she was stupid for trying to help him decide them for him.
"I apologize for being an annoyance," She said quietly, "I'm sure by now you've had many people tell you what's best for you, but only you know what's best for you. I shouldn't have tried to advise you... it really isn't any of my business, much less my place to give you my opinion."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 7:01 am
"Everything." He said quickly, deciding it best not to sugar coat the whole deal and just boil it down to one word. "I mean, I just want my kids to be happy. I'm afraid they might take on my emotions."
It was a hard thing to explain, very hard...but deep down Bairn just didn't want his future children to sit at home one night and ponder why they exsisted, like he himself once did. It drove him crazy, but he didn't show it on the outside. On the inside he was hurting, which was why he didn't come home for sometime.
Then the light stallion shook his head at Nostalgia. "You not annoying my dear. You're just making your own opinions. Doesn't mean I have to like what you say." He shrugged and then smiled..."But yes, you're right. Too many people in my life had tried to show me what I should do, but no one knows how I feel. I just want to figure out who I am, I guess. Don't worry...your opinions are your own, voice them when you wish."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 3:49 pm
"Trying to discover who you are can sometimes take one's entire life to figure out... and then others are unfortunate and never find out who they really are. I find it best, myself, to live life day by day... you never know when it's going to end."
Spoken from experience, Nostalgia pushed away the thought of ever having to return back to the ghost realm. As much conflict as she faced in the "real" world, she much preferred it, as she had known nothing but loneliness before. Any day now, the Spirits would beckon her return and she'd have no other choice than to comply.
"I wish I was fortunate enough to bear children. Foals are a blessing to the cruel world, with their happiness and innocence."
She turned slightly and eyed her belly with her peripheral vision, wondering if her womb would ever be graced with such a blessing. "But your decision is your own to make, and I wish you well with your choice, no matter what it is."
((Sorry it took so long to reply.. I was on "vacation"... and got engaged! 4laugh heart ))
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 5:39 pm
((Awww, sweetness! Congrats, I'll bet that was exciting!^^))
"I just don't want it to take that long, Nostalgia. I want to know now, so I don't make the same mistakes I did in my past. It's hard to fix one's problems, you know. Hard." He sighed, "But you're right...I guess I'm just taking this too seriously. I need to just grab life by the hooves and run with it, eh?"
Bairn just hated the thought of never truly understanding who he was in life, that would probably drive him slowly insane. It wasn't fair...those who were born with a purpose...be it good or bad...they had a reason to be on this earth...but Bairn didn't know what his was yet. Although, the light stallion knew that if he pushed hard enough, the answer would come sooner or later. Just hoped sooner then later.
"Why can't you? I mean, you're just as able to as the rest of the mares, even though you're a ghost, right?" Now the stallion grinned when she described hoow foals lived. That wasn't exactly the case when him and his two sisters were foals...they were happy, but different then every other foal. "You'll find love one day, and the two of you will be as happy as any other couple, with a bunch of ghastly foals." He grinned, "Thank you, Nostalgia. I guess, my choice whatever it be will lead me in the direction that I was meant to take."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 7:40 pm
((Ooo, definitely! xD Best New Year's present I think I'll ever get :3 ))
She smiled and ignored the braids that gently fell over one eye. Nos wished she could understand Bairn's thinking better... she guessed it didn't really help when she had her whole life's purpose already laid out for her since the beginning of her existence.
"Ah, well, if you don't want to make the same mistakes as you did in the past... all you have to do is look to the past!" Her wings twitched, and she faded them out of sight, beginning to feel a bit restless. "The past isn't just something you can just push away. You have to confront it, or it'll always be around to haunt you."
She paused, then laughed softly at her words. "And by haunting, I mean figuratively. Only on occassion, physically."
Swishing her lion-like tail, she smiled at his comment about "ghastly foals", and wished deep down in her heart that the dream might someday come true. But she refused to mother a foal unless she knew for a fact she'd never be forced to leave this world.. the last thing she wanted to do was to birth life just to abandon it, forced to return to her eternal duties.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
