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 Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 10:36 am
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 7:06 am
there's a website called coolfunnyjokes.com, and here's a joke from it:
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 1:57 pm
Ahem...*taps mike* Is this thing on?
OK, you remember Mahatma Ghandi. He walked around India for years, and never wore shoes, so he had some incredibly large calluses on his feet. He also spent a great deal of time in meditation.
His diet was not too regular or nourishing, either...not only was he very frail because of this, but he had (to put it gently) EXTREMELY bad breath.
So, when people would see Ghandi approaching their village, they would exclaim...
(wait for it...)
Here comes the Super Callused Fragile Mystic Vexed by Halitosis!
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 2:42 pm
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 8:08 pm
SamekhMem Ahem...*taps mike* Is this thing on? OK, you remember Mahatma Ghandi. He walked around India for years, and never wore shoes, so he had some incredibly large calluses on his feet. He also spent a great deal of time in meditation. His diet was not too regular or nourishing, either...not only was he very frail because of this, but he had (to put it gently) EXTREMELY bad breath. So, when people would see Ghandi approaching their village, they would exclaim... (wait for it...) Here comes the Super Callused Fragile Mystic Vexed by Halitosis! *groans inwardly* I heard that so called "joke" on the radio a while ago. I ran outside screaming, it was so lame.
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Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 8:40 am
Sylvantria SamekhMem Ahem...*taps mike* Is this thing on? OK, you remember Mahatma Ghandi. He walked around India for years, and never wore shoes, so he had some incredibly large calluses on his feet. He also spent a great deal of time in meditation. His diet was not too regular or nourishing, either...not only was he very frail because of this, but he had (to put it gently) EXTREMELY bad breath. So, when people would see Ghandi approaching their village, they would exclaim... (wait for it...) Here comes the Super Callused Fragile Mystic Vexed by Halitosis! *groans inwardly* I heard that so called "joke" on the radio a while ago. I ran outside screaming, it was so lame. And it's so difficult to type it with a straight face...
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Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 4:03 pm
SamekhMem Sylvantria SamekhMem Ahem...*taps mike* Is this thing on? OK, you remember Mahatma Ghandi. He walked around India for years, and never wore shoes, so he had some incredibly large calluses on his feet. He also spent a great deal of time in meditation. His diet was not too regular or nourishing, either...not only was he very frail because of this, but he had (to put it gently) EXTREMELY bad breath. So, when people would see Ghandi approaching their village, they would exclaim... (wait for it...) Here comes the Super Callused Fragile Mystic Vexed by Halitosis! *groans inwardly* I heard that so called "joke" on the radio a while ago. I ran outside screaming, it was so lame. And it's so difficult to type it with a straight face... Yeah, because you'd be dying from it's absolute lameness.
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Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 6:29 pm
Where does a 1-legged waitress work?
I-Hop!
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Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 1:05 pm
SamekhMem Where does a 1-legged waitress work? I-Hop! *goes outside and barfs from the utter lameness*
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 7:34 pm
SamekhMem Where does a 1-legged waitress work? I-Hop! emblazens large "L" on SamekhMem's forehead, you desevre it. what dya say to a banjo player in a three-piece suit? may the defendent please rise.
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Posted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 3:49 pm
stare That was...quite bad. Though not up to the standards of Mem's "jokes", I'll say.
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Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 7:43 am
no it's funny, just old... I'd tell some of my jokes but most are either insaide jokes with friends or innuendo of sorts
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:05 pm
Hehe, most of my jokes are blonde jokes.... And some people I know find them offensive so I don't tell them too often.... Well, just with people who don't care.
Oh, inside jokes. Tell me about it. So many I know....
But of course, some I'm not allowed to tell. And those are the most hilarious.
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Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 2:15 pm
yeah, most of the inside jokes are either sexist or racist or both... so I don't tell them... to anyone besides my friends
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Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 2:16 pm
Naw, my inside jokes aren't sexist or racist... Jokes like that piss me off. >.<
Nope, mine are just something that would be incredibly embarrassing to my friends... so I am sworn to secrecy by them. xd
But many people know about those anyways.
"Pickles".
sweatdrop Sorreh. The latest and funniest private joke with my drama group friends. One of the girls I roomed with talks in her sleep. xd It's entertaining to hear what she says.
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