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 Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:45 pm
A confused expression crossed over the fox's face, brown orbs squinting lightly out of that same confusion. It... wasn't that he didn't understand what Darin was saying, because he understood every word the coon had said... Except... except for 'death' and 'afterlife.' Of course he knew what those two words meant, he was smart enough to know that.
But... Darin... dead? His afterlife? Did that mean that-- oh wait... Was he just referring to back when they used to live on Earth rather than in Gaia? But... no... could that be? Oh, never mind. There was no use in struggling to comprehend something when he didn't know how it was being applied.
Darin's answers weren't the easiest to reply to-- then again, perhaps that was because his questions were never the easiest. "I..." Lips pursed together into a thin line, brows furrowing, head slowly hanging as eyes found their way back towards the ground. "... guess the only real way for me to find out how to be more specific, would be to experience it..." The fox then bit down onto his lower lip, shaking his head with a sigh, "... I don't want to, though... There are too many risks that... that I might not be able to," A pause, voice lowering to something akin to a whisper, "... handle..." After a long moment after his voice had trailed off, he lifted his head and gave Darin a large smile, though it was obvious that it was... well, fake... as there were tears in his eyes from the thought Nepher. He loved the unicorn, but not love love, just... friend love, but.. He knew the other felt real love for him, and the fact that he couldn't return those feelings was just one of many things tearing him apart, and causing him to avoid Nepher. "At least... not again." He said, trying to sound cheerful as he reached up and rubbed his eyes lightly, still smiling broadly-- though completely fakely.
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 11:02 pm
Oh, the poor, confused boy. Darin could see it so clearly, the confusion which rose from knowing-- and perhaps more importantly, not knowing what you wanted from life. From others. "...sometimes... love is difficult. No, that's not quite-- usually love is difficult. It tricks us and hurts us. But without it, we're lesser people. Without love, we can't experience true joy, without love, we can't experience that strangeness that is becoming a whole person. And without that, we're less.
"Love hurts. Love is difficult and vicious, and yet wonderful all at once. Without the risks though, without the pain and agony we can experience through love and because of love, it wouldn't be so precious. It wouldn't be everything that it is because without that dragging sorrow, how could we feel the epitome of joy?" Darin mused quietly, his mind lost in thought, words falling as they rose to mind. "And yet..."
And yet what? "...and yet, if we shy away from love... if we refuse to allow ourselves to experience that love which means so very much... we deny a part of our souls which makes us richer. But it isn't easy. It isn't easy by any stretch of the imagination."
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Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 11:50 pm
Elijah continued to rub his eyes, listening to Darin muse onward out loud, saying nothing. He stayed motionless-- excluding the rubbing of his eyes-- and silent, simply listening to Darin talk about the ups and downs of love, and how they were all.. worth it? connected? Elijah wasn't sure.
In fact, the little fox had never been so confused around anyone in his entire life. It wasn't Darin that confused him, perse, so much as it was the way their topics bounced around-- admittedly, mostly because of his own curiosity-- and the explinations the wiser male had to offer... Eli dedicated his entire life to learning, but... he didn't want to learn if it included hurting someone.
"If... its something to learn that makes a life... complete..." He slowly began in a soft, quiet voice once Darin had drifted off, "... then I would rather be the one... who ends up hurt." Brown eyes were focused on the ground, and his fingers gently clutched the fabric covering the bed, seeing as how rubbing his eyes was only giving him a headache and not helping with the tears. "... I can honestly say that, without a doubt in my own heart and mind... because I could never... never... go on with my own life knowing that I gave someone more hurt than I would ever have to endure throughout my entire life..."
Shaking his head, he lifted his left hand, placing the back of it to his left eye in an attempt to rub away the tears again, which would only result in itchy red eyes, as he already knew. Perhaps coming here had been the wrong thing to do afterall? Ugh. Elijah couldn't even tell what was right or wrong anymore, much less up from down. He just... wanted to curl up and make all the mistakes go away, before he ended up hurting Nepher... ended up hurting anyone. Through his life it was always him unintentionally hurting someone, even if he never realized it until it was too late... he had always walked out of everything... 'untouched'... and that bothered him more than anything.
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 12:17 am
"...there are different levels of love. There's love and there's love. There's deep love and there's superficial love. There's love which heals and love which wounds. And so you know," Darin smiled gently at the boy, "...the deepest kind of love only can help. Our other emotions end up making more trouble that we associate with love, you see.
"And love can never be used for harm. Not true love. Just remember that, all right?" Darin smiled gently.
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 12:32 am
"Ugh." The simple sound that best described his confusion was all he let out in reply. He was supposed to be good at learning, not confused by it. But love was something he wasn't very good at comprehending, and was something he never had been good at comprehending. Just.. let it bugger off until it was the right time with Mr. Right and all that jazz. Then it'd be a lot easier, wouldn't it? Of course not, everything was bound and determined to have some complications-- whether they be between the lovers or with those surrounding the lovers. Either way, complications were unavoidable. Elijah slowly allowed himself to fall backwards onto the bed, legs dangling over the edge. One arm went across his stomach, the other laying over his eyes.
After a few moments, he recollected himself but continued to lay there, still fighting with the confusion. "But it does get used for harm, doesn't it? I mean, if there are two people, one madly in love with the other... wouldn't the other have more power over the first one? I see it happen all the time... One's too far in love with the other one, the other one knows it and uses the to his advantage in the cruelest ways. Toying with emotions, but using love as their control and to do the other harm, whatever that harm may be.
"Usually the harm ends up emotionally and generally mentally, but even so, it still does harm... Or... wait, that's not true love, is it? Because it's only one-sided? or... perhaps mutual, but... without the proper means of communciation... of it... and... Oh forget it. I'm giving myself a headache." The fox said with a light laugh.
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Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 1:26 am
Considering Elijah for a long moment, Darin thought on the fox's words. In his experience-- which, truth be told, wasn't as vast as others might think, and yet larger than some might suspect-- love happened only one in a while. Love was something that couldn't be harm. Something which transcended everything harsh and dark and painful.
Only the lesser emotions usually associated with love, the jealousy, the anger, the possessiveness, the grey between caring and not... the confusion between love and friendship... those carried the pain. Those could evoke ruin in the kindest hearts. But how to explain? How to word the thoughts racing through his mind, how to explain the subtle differences between true love and that which came close but fell short?
"Love isn't what causes harm, Elijah," Darin finally stated, his mind considering it. "It's not love that does that-- it's something else. It's confusion, it's jealousy, anger-- pettier emotions which tag along with love more often than not, which is why love, the greater emotion, is usually blamed for the fault. But love is pure, and that which is pure can never truly harm anything."
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Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:40 am
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Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 4:00 pm
OOC: Sorry about the long wait, Ravluv. D: My brain wouldn't comprehend Elijah for awhile. Dx
"..." The fox fell silent and into thought, legs swinging lightly over the edge of the bed. Hmmm... that was certainly something to think on. At least Darin had answers that made sense, unlike some that Elijah had attempted to speak with. It made the fox happy that he had met someone that he could actually get along with-- and, so far, have no dramatic complications in their conversations-- and hold these kinds of conversations with... as for Eli, these weren't spur of the moment questions, but rather things he thought about a lot.
So yes, it really did make him happy. Then again, so many things made him happy that it was hard to tell if the conversations were just another small blip of happiness in his long life, or if Darin was a potential friendship. Ehn. The fox was an air-head, it just took awhile to realize. Not only was he a 'secret' air-head, but germophobic and a clean freak as well... plus the little part that he didn't comprehend a lot of things.
Lack of comprehension... mainly when it came to being flirted with, even if it was something as blunt as a kiss or words describing as one felt... Mainly because everyone desired one thing that could drive them insane: affection. Even if not love, everyone wanted some sort of affection... even if only to be touched tenderly for one night, never having a real relationship with any one person.
"Darin, do you think...." Elijah trailed off and propped himself up on his elbows, shaking his head lightly. No, no. That was enough of the questions that could only be answered in opinions... but then, there were so many ways to answer a question... that every answer ended up being an opinon. Ehn. Brows furrowing, not being able to figure out what the thoughts running through his mind actually meant, he swung his legs a few more times while shaking his head. "... Nevermind.. but Darin, if you allow me to ramble on and on like this, my brain just may explode from my own thoughts and questions," He giggled out with a crooked grin in an attempt to 'lighten the mood,' whether it needed to be lightened or not. Another clear-cut sign of an air-head.
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Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 4:14 pm
((*snugs* Not a problem at all, darlin'~))
Smiling-- a genuine smile-- Darin laughed quietly. "Well, whenever you want to discuss anything, if I'm free, I'd be more than happy to speak with you about them. Being able to discuss such with others... it's rare." And a treat for Darin who usually had to pick up the pieces of others and take care of them and... well, there hadn't been anyone he could talk to for quite a while. Unsurprising really, given how much Darin thought about different matters, matters most didn't think of.
Then again, perhaps it was more that others thought about them but didn't go into the same depth that Darin did-- or perhaps he simply made something out of nothing. It wasn't that he wanted to or meant to, it simply happened on occasion that everything shimmered in and out of clarity-- as much as he considered one concept he could never settle on a single opinion unless there was personal knowledge to back it up, and that happened only on rare occasion.
Ah well. That was yet another matter. "May I offer you any refreshments?" Darin suggested after a heartbeat. "If you don't care for wine at the moment, we have a variety of other beverages in the kitchen... and dinner should be served soon, if you'd like to stay."
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Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 4:25 pm
Elijah's crooked grin grew a little wider and a little more crooked upon seeing Darin smile and hearing his quiet laugh. If there was one definate thing that brought the fox joy, it was seeing other's smile and hearing them laugh. Finally sitting all the way up, his ankles locking together as he continued to swing his legs, he blinked his large brown eyes and began to swirl loose strands of soft, rich brunette hair around his fingers.
"I think I can trust myself to be careful with wine this time, as I'm being so selfish as to wish not to cut this visit short," The fox chimed out with a giggle, "If you're having wine as well, that is... So, I'll just have whatever you're having." Nodding his head, as that was probably a better answer-- as he thought the first made him sound like a lush, which he was.
"You really want me to stay for dinner?" Elijah asked, cocking his head to the side while blinking his large brown eyes, giving a genuine grin. "I'll only stay if you want me to, I don't want to intrude if my company is not wanted." The fox stated with another nod of his head.
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Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 1:11 am
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Posted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 6:26 pm
((Raven swears she's been thinking of her Andie! crying ))
"If I didn't want you to stay, I wouldn't have offered the invitation. I'm not so embroiled in schemes that I ask those I have no sentiment for to stay for dinner," Darin smiled slightly. At one point... well, but then, dinners had been of a different sort and also not quite as formal as they were now. "And... why don't we go downstairs and see what's been prepared?" the coon suggested. "By this time I'm sure that it's been prepared."
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 12:39 am
OOC: I swears Andie has been thinking of her Ravluv. Went to go reply earlier, but got side-tracked. >_>;; LUFFU.
Elijah grinned, a grin as vibrant as the clothes he was wearing. It was nice to be around someone like Darin for a change! Usually it was just heart-breaking to be around Nepher as of late, and he vastly disliked most of the other people he met... being as picky as he was and all. "That sounds like a great idea, Darin," The fox beamed in reply, but in a toned-down manner... he wouldn't want to annoy the coon, and then never see him again. That would be... well, horrible. Then he would have no friends that he actually enjoyed being around. The fox slowly stood up and stretched.
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Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 5:56 pm
((Dude. Raven was obviously tired in her last post. >>; *glares at repetition*))
Smiling, Darin turned and led Elijah out of the room, down the stairs, and to the kitchen-- where, sure enough, dinner was laid out in the form of a buffet with several stacks of plates on the side. "Please, feel free to help yourself," the coon smiled gently. "There's quite a lot of food to go around."
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Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 1:23 pm
Nervousness was visable on the fox's expression as he slowly reached forward and gently picked up a plate. Those that new him well enough would have expected him to be more nervous than he was. After all, this was dinner with an acquaintance - though Elijah thought of Darin as a friend already... perhaps due to having none - and it all seemed so formal... Hesitantly, the fox gathered decent portions of meat and the healthier foods onto his plate, before reluctantly sitting. Still nervous, he began to nibble on his lower lip.
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