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 Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 7:50 pm
My writing is rusty as heck and a little crude. I haven't written a story in two years. So yeah, this is a little first meeting scene between Vicky and her crush Zach. I think it's the best writing I've had so far. Quote: I stroll into the café and stop at his booth where he has his hands folded under his chin with his eyes closed. He looks so serene…and so cute! Okay, initiating Plan A: Shy Little Girl. “Um, excuse me?” I say softly, but not so soft that he wouldn’t be able to hear me. He opens his eyes and turns to look at me. His face is stoic and unreadable. Drat, how am I supposed to tell if I’m annoying him or he’s interested in me? I avert my eyes making certain his face is still in my peripheral vision. “May I, um…May I sit here?” My eyes move to look straight into his making certain my cheeks blush. Ack, still no reaction. I wait a little longer and decide to move to Plan B: Bubbly Bimbo. I straighten my posture and scratch my cheek with my index finger. “You look kinda lonely sitting here by yourself. I thought maybe you’d like some company, eh?” I grin widely. He still makes no reaction. I bend over and pout cutely, similar to how I manipulate Nathan with my feminine wiles, with my hands on my cheeks. “Please?” I say adding a little huskiness to my voice and batting my eyes cutely. Well, I think his eyebrow twitched that time. Otherwise, no reaction. Okay that’s it! Now for the big guns! Initiating Plan C! “All right fine!” I say in a voice nowhere near as soft as the first two. I bet it’d sound harsh and grating in other ears. I slam my hands on the counter lightly. I only want his attention, not the whole café’s. The frequent customers are probably used to this routine by now. I bet they have pools going on behind my back. I straighten up and place my hands on my hips. “I’m just going to sit here whether you like it or not!” I turn my nose up and sit in the seat across from him. I place my shopping bags next to me on the seat and plop my purse on the table. “Now…” I point my finger at him. “You. Talk.” He blinks at me a couple times. The edge of his lips seem a little turned up as an eyebrow raises. Is he smirking?! Oh, why does he have to look so hot like that? “That’s the second time someone stuck their finger in my face today.” He says smoothly. Oh wow. I can feel my knees quiver. I retract my finger and cross my arms over my chest. “Ah, so you can talk! Good, I can’t do or understand sign language. Now then, my name is Victoria Claire. Everyone calls me Vicky. How about you?” I say with a smile similar to Kevin’s. This must be one of those boys who like strong girls. He’s probably submissive in bed, too. Kevin will definitely like that. After some silence, and a slight narrowing of my eyes to show him I mean business, he sighs. “Zach. Zachary Taylor.” He replies with his eyes staring out the window. His head rests on one hand. “Hey, bub.” I grab his chin and turn him to face me. “My eyes are right here.” I use my other hand to point two fingers at my eyes. He scowls and removes himself from my grasp. All right! I made him use an expression! KA-CHING! “Excuse me, sir. I’m sorry for the wait, but-” The waitress comes over with a plate of turkey sandwiches, salad and a glass of water. “Oh, Vicky-girl! When did you get here?” “Hey, Tasha!” I smile and lightly wave. “I just got here. Gimme the usual, kay-kay?” “Right.” She sets the plate down. “So, is this a new friend of yours? You better not be cheating on me!” She crosses her arms over her chest and winks. I roll my eyes. “Don’t worry. You’re my bestest best friend for life! I guarantee it!” We laugh together. “And you,” I turn to look at Zach who’s eyes seem to be trying to hide the glow of amusement within. “Where’s your coffee? You can’t come to a café and NOT have a cup of coffee.” I say to him. “I don’t like coffee.” He says indifferently. I gasp and pretend to faint with my hand on my forehead. After a few seconds, I straighten up quickly and turn to Natasha. “Get him a ‘Brewer Special’ on me.” I say to her. She nods with a smile and walks off. I turn back to Zach. All right! Score number two! He’s glaring at me. Whew. Thank goodness looks don’t kill. “You’re wasting your money.” He says through gritted teeth. “Yeah, I hear that a lot.” I say waving my hand around, sneaking a glance at Nate. I fold my arms back under my chin similar to how he had earlier. My position is a lot more relaxed though since I curve my fingers downward to angle my head, so I have to look up at him to meet his eyes. “So anyways, what are you doing around here? I just finished shopping myself.” I ask. He glares at me a moment longer before reclining in his seat leaving his arms to sprawl out on the table. His eyes are staring up at the ceiling. “I’m trying to find a job.” He finally says. His voice sounds almost tired. “Not having much luck, eh?” I inquire softly. He shakes his head in response. Hmmm…I tap my finger on my chin. I bet I could- “Here you go, Vick. A freshly tossed Caesar salad with a dish of ice cream and a cup of the finest brewed coffee in the world.” Tasha unknowingly interrupts my train of thought. She sets the meal down on the table. “And here’s one Brewer Special for you, too, hon.” She smiles in a manner that seems almost flirtatious. He doesn’t react. He just stares at the cup as if expecting it to jump up and chew his nose off. “Well?” Tasha and I ask in unison. His eyes widen a centimeter, the only indication of his surprise. He scowls at us. “I’m letting it cool.” He mutters turning his head away. I roll my eyes. Then I reach over and grab his cup. I bring it to my lips and blow on it. “There.” I hold it in front of his face. “Drink. Now.” He glares one more time before reluctantly taking the cup from me. He eyes the brown liquid almost nervously. He slowly brings it to his lips and closes his eyes. His eyes snap open and he jerks the cup away from his lips, staring at it with his eyes widened by nearly 3 centimeters. A dribble of brown liquid coats his lips in a glossy sheen. A pink tongue flicks over them, wiping it away. Oh god. The images! The images! I stomp them down with a pair of 10 pound army boots. “Is this…hot chocolate?” he asks with a voice that has a touch of a squeak in it. You really have to watch this boy to notice anything he does. Tasha and I smile. “Nope.” We say in unison. The Brewer Special was made especially for kids and sweet-tooths. Tasha says it’s a secret recipe that’s been kept within the family since the 1800’s. It has one of the world’s most powerful sugar rushes. One cup and you’re zipping for the rest of the day. Of course that’s mainly because of the major caffeine boost rather than the sugar. Either way, it may help Zacky loosen up if anything. It definitely turns the kids into hellions. Poor parents. He looks at us disbelievingly, but drinks down a large gulp. Tasha smiles even wider before walking to another table with a couple that just arrived. I take a sip from my own cup and pick up a plastic fork. I stab it into a slice of lettuce and place it in my mouth, savoring the flavor as I chew it slowly. Our meal is eaten in silence as I observe the way he eats. He eats slowly in a manner that shouts “refined”. His arms move lightly, like an elegant princess. Yes, even I have to admit that he eats too delicately to be considered a prince. No guy should be able to eat that gracefully. The only loss of etiquette seems to appear when he drinks his coffee. I bet he has a raging sweet tooth, too. Excellent! I found some common ground! I smile behind my coffee cup. Now, how do I get this guy to date me? Hmmm…Oh wait! He mentioned something about needing a job, right? Perfect! There’s nothing like helping someone out so they can reward you for it. I grin deviously before I place my cup down. I quickly remove the grin, exchanging it for a teasing smile. “Hey, you said you’re looking for a job, right?” “Yeah.” He says without looking up from his meal. “How would you like to work at this café?” “I already tried. They wouldn’t hire me.” He says, his voice seeming stressed. I didn’t miss the flex of his knuckles. I know they’re short on workers right now, due to the black sign on the counter with the words “Looking To Hire” written in bold orange letters. I wonder why they would just simply refuse to hire him. “Oh. How old are you? They don’t hire unless you’re at least 16 years old.” “I just turned 17 a month ago.” His voice is flat, but I can sense the underlying bitterness. “Ah, okay. I’m just making sure. I’m 16, but everyone thinks I’m 13.” I say offhandedly. Drat, that would’ve been the most likely reason. Mrs. Brewer is really sweet, but she never hires under-the-table helpers. She never demands previous work experience and he is dressed in casual clothes. Not like she would turn him away if he was dressed like Kevin, but she would’ve told him to not to dress like that for work. Maybe she was put off by his attitude? Well, that’s not a good reason! “All righty then!” I slam my hands on the counter startling him. “The owner’s a friend of mine. I’ll get her to hire you!” I wink at him. He blinks twice before recovering with his face set in scowl mode. “She’s not going to hire me just because you asked her to.” He says turning his head away. “Oh yeah? I can be really convincing. I’ll even make a bet with you.” I say folding my arms in front of me. He turns his head to meet my eyes. Seems I’ve caught his interest. “If I can’t convince her to hire you, you can ask one favor from me. It can be anything. Even if I have to be your personal slave for a week, or I have to leave you alone and never speak to you ever again, or even give you a b*****b if you’d like.” His head jerks lightly once I tick off the last example. I notice the faint blush on his cheeks. If his skin hadn’t been so pale, I would’ve never seen it. I snicker behind my hand. It looks like we have an innocent here. “And in the unlikely chance that you get me a job?” He says, trying to hide his blush behind his bangs. “I’ll take you out on a date. I won’t be expecting much on your part. Just put up with me for one night. That’s all you have to do.” I say with a wide grin. “I thought guys took girls out?” He says raising an eyebrow. “They do, but I’m a feminist. Girls have the right to do anything a guy can do. That includes treating boys on dates.” I say to him. He looks at me with a raised eyebrow. He sighs and shakes his head. “Fine, whatever. Just go ask already.” He says looking exasperated. Poor thing must have been walking all over this mall looking for a job. I take his hand and give it a light tug. Edit: I spaced it out. sweatdrop Didn't know it would look so cramped.
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Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 7:35 am
Ooh. Present tense. I like it!
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Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 9:44 am
This is a nifty thread. Thus, it is now a sticky.
I'll post something in it as soon as I have something worth posting! sweatdrop
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Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:18 pm
Oh come now! We've all posted things I'm we thought weren't good enough. Just give us a bit of the beginning. It will make me happy! ^_^
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Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 12:22 pm
misakyra This is a nifty thread. Thus, it is now a sticky. I'll post something in it as soon as I have something worth posting! sweatdrop Awesome! Thanks for making it a sticky! heart heart And everyone has been afraid to post, and it's all been terrific so far! You can do it! We believe in yoooooooooooooooouuu!!!
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Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 8:16 pm
Quote: At breakfast Nina sat next to Bastet. The porridge she made was lumpy. No one had seconds of it. Once Cinaed learned that Nina made it, he pushed it away and reached for the sausages and bread that Serkan had made. Nina scowled but did no more. Bastet complemented her. “ Better than the first time I tried to cook,” she told Nina “I ended up accidentally setting the kitchen on fire.” She laughed. “Needless to say, no one was very hungry after they put the flames out.” Nina smiled. “ Thanks.” she said bashfully. She had never been complemented before, by anyone other than her mother and father. Then Nina had a thought. “ How were you cooking if you’re--well--ya know--?” She stuttered feeling embarrassed. Bastet laughed airily “ Blind? Come on don’t mumble it like a curse word.” She paused “ Actually, I wasn’t blind then. I didn’t lose my sight until I was about, well, I think I was about eight.” There was an awkward pause here. No one had much to say. Nina plodded on, trying not to sound embarrassed, or stupid. “Oh okay. Well, that makes sense. How’d you manage to set everything on fire?” True, she was trying to get the subject off of Bastet’s blindness, but no one seemed to notice. Bastet laughed again at the memory. “Well I was cooking bacon I think. Yes, it was bacon. And my hand slipped and I tipped the pan. The grease came out, hit the flames and traveled to the cabinets and well,” she made an upward sweeping gesture with her hands “Poof.” she said. Nina laughed. Serkan looked at her in surprise, it was the first time he remembered ever hearing her laugh. He quickly hid his face back down, in case she would get mad. Which, he knew she would have, had she seen. Bastet laughed and seemed to reminisce for a bit. “ Have you ever tried to cook, Cinaed?” Serkan asked. He was entering the danger zone, when the boy’s worst enemy was sitting across from him. Nina, gratefully, said nothing. Cinaed shook his head. “ Only once. My Schoolmaster tried to teach me. He believed boys should be well-rounded and know how to do woman’s chores. I succeeded on setting his robes on fire.” He paused. “It was kind of funny, thinking back, he stuck to teaching me out of books from then on. I don’t remember ever having another cooking lesson.” Serkan, Bastet, and Cinaed all laughed. No matter how much she didn’t want to, Nina smiled. She could picture his master, an old man grey beard to his belt, running in circles on fire. Cinaed was in the corner laughing. Serkan wiped his eyes. “ My mother would always tell me to cook dinner.” he said “But my sister insisted I never did it right. She would have to some in every three seconds and point out something I did wrong. She would fix it and say ‘leave woman’s work to the women, we’re the only ones who can do it right.’” He paused and thought. “I think she was right.” That was from my story "Fire Thief". I'm not sure why that's my favorite part. It's right where my MC (Nina) turns over her new leaf. . .
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Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 6:57 am
Quote: I knew that at five o’ clock, Chris would be deeply immersed in his homework, and would ignore any visitors or other distractions. Because of this, I decided that would be the best time to check on his mum. I got off the bus at the bus stop at the end of the road. It wasn’t a long walk to their house from there, and I was knocking on the door within three minutes of escaping the warm luxury of the bus. Luckily, it was Chris’s mum came to the door. “Oh, hi Raven. I thought you weren’t seeing Chris anymore.” She looked a bit weakened, and was really pale, with huge, dark bags underneath her eyes. I was glad I had visited her, she was looking really under the weather. “Hey. Yeh, I’m not seeing Chris anymore, I just came round to check how you were doing, seeing as I haven’t seen you for a while. Is the treatment working properly?” “Yeh, the doctor says I appear to be getting better. I beg to differ, I still feel fairly bad, but he is in a better position to say. Sorry, where are my manners? Would you like to come in? I feel a bit mean talking to you whilst you are stood on my doorstep.” “Er..Sure, I can come in for a while. My bus won’t be along for another half an hour anyway.” I followed Chris’s mum down the hallway of her house and into her kitchen. Chris’s house wasn’t as big as ours, but it still had that same homey feel to it that my house had. There were family photos adorning the walls, smiling faces of various family members smiling out at all the people who saw them. Their kitchen was quite big, but it was a lot more modern than mine and my fathers, and it felt a bit weird seeing all those electric appliances in the kitchen, but I knew that was only because we only had a dishwasher and a fridge-freezer in our house and everything else we did without electricity in the kitchen. Chris’s mum invited me to sit at the kitchen table whilst she busied herself in the kitchen making us a cup of tea each. Once she had finished, she placed one mug of tea and sat down opposite me with hers. We talked for a while about how we were both doing, and I checked that she was doing okay and that she didn’t need my help. “I think I’m doing okay. I’m getting more tired than usual, but don’t worry about me. Besides, you should be out having fun, not looking after you ex-boyfriends mum. I’ll be fine.” “Okay. You’re sure?” She nodded and I looked up to the clock. “Damn, I’ve missed my bus. Oh well, there should be another one soon, but I best get going. I’ll try and come see you again Mrs Lazonby, make sure you are still doing okay.” “I guess you’re welcome to do that. Thank you for dropping by today. You’re okay letting yourself out, yes? I best get started on dinner.” “Yeh, I can let myself out. Bye.” I smiled at her and left the kitchen. I was halfway along the hallway when I heard someone coming down the stairs. ‘Damn. And it was going so well and all.’ I knew a meeting with Chris would now be inevitable so I just kept walking towards the door, hoping he wasn’t in a talking mood. Unfortunately, my hopes never did come true. “Raven? What are you doing here?” I turned and gave him a weak smile. “I just came round to check on your mum, see how she was doing. I really best be going, I’ll see you tomorrow at school Chris.” I turned back round and started off to the door again, but I was stopped once more by my ex-boyfriend. “Couldn’t you have just phoned. That would have been quicker and you wouldn’t have to have worried about missing your bus.” I thought about that for a moment. Chris had a point; I could have just phoned and I would have found out exactly the same information as I had in my trip to his house. Then it hit me. Chris’s mum wasn’t the only thing holding me back. I wanted to go and visit her in the hope that I would see Chris while I was there. I loved him. Realising that brought tears to my eyes, as I knew I couldn’t have him anymore; he obviously didn’t want me anymore. I blinked to get rid of them. “I just thought this was more personal. As I said before, I best get going. Bye Chris.” I opened the door and practically ran all the way to the bus stop. While I was inside it had started raining really heavily, but I couldn’t tell because my eyes were so full of water. I tried to stop crying as I handed my money over to the bus driver and spent the whole of the trip home with my eyes fixed on the floor. I carried on running once I’d got back off the bus, and got home in record time. Once I’d unlocked it, I flung open the door, threw off my shoes and coat and then collapsed in the middle of the hallway. My dad had obviously heard me fling open the door and came out of the living room to investigate, only to find me collapsed in a heap crying my eyes out. He hurried over and wrapped his arms around me, holding me close to his chest. He rocked me back and forth, and I could see my tears soaking his shirt. “What are all the tears for honey? Is something wrong with Mrs Lazonby?” I shook my head against his chest. “What is it then?” “I love him dad. I really love him. But when I saw him earlier, it was obvious he didn’t want me. It was obvious that he’d moved on.” Hearing myself say that made me cry even more. I heard Sid as he came out into the hallway, and after seeing me so racked with grief, he hurried into the kitchen and made three large mugs of tea and cut a large slab of chocolate fudge cake. Little did I know that less than a mile away, something very similar was happening between a blue eyed boy and his ill mother. I'm not overly keen on any part of my story, but this is the bit I've just finished writing. I've never written anything this long before, and I think it's just too overwordy in some places.
Anyway, just so you know: Raven is the main character, and the whole story is her saying what has happened to her since she met this boy, Chris. They were going out, but then for some reason Chris said he couldn't see anymore, and left her really upset. She finally thinks shes over it, but she's still worried about his mum who had been diagnosed with leukaemia shortly after they started dating.
Another thing you probably need to know: Sid is her dad's boyfriend, not her brother or anything. He practically lives in their house and gets on really well with Raven, almost like a second dad really. He mum moved to New Zealand after she split up with Raven's dad when she was 7.
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Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 7:15 am
Flinty -- Neato story idea! Love it! (And don't you have the awesoooooooome idea for a cover in the other thread?)
Titania-- This made me a cry a little. Keep up the good work!
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Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 11:43 am
This is probably the WORST excerpt I could post but I just had to post it. My main character Yan is very much a "party girl" type (only he's a very girly gay man rather than an actual girl) and is useless in the kitchen. In a fit of insanity he decides to make cookies for his boyfriend. Quote: In a half hour’s time his neat and clean kitchen had been transformed into a war zone of eggs, flour and sugar. Besides breaking the eggs he had also managed to rip open the package of flour in such a way that it exploded in his face, and he had dropped his opened package of sugar. Even Charlie had realized that it was probably best just to hide while his master was making a mess. Yan sighed. “Maybe this was a dumb idea. Jeremy knows I don’t cook, what am I trying to prove?” He ran a hand through his flour covered hair as he stared at the bowl of dough that seemed to be mocking him. He had managed to actually get the dough made so he knew there was no sense in giving up completely. Still, his confidence had dropped drastically. With a disappointed pout Yan dropped the cookie dough in neat little piles on the cookie sheet and popped it into the oven. After setting the timer he decided he should probably clean up the kitchen, which involved wiping down the counters and walls, sweeping, mopping, and doing far too many dishes. “This sucks,” he whined, abandoning all confidence or determination he had once had. “I don’t want to do this anymore.” Before he could whine further however, the timer went off telling him it was time to take the first cookie sheet out of the oven. He had prepared for the worst when he opened the door to find something quite surprising. The cookies looked delicious! They were golden brown, not burnt at all and didn’t even stick when he removed them to place them on the cooling rack. Once again his confidence was renewed and he sang along with the CD as he prepared another cookie sheet for baking. Upon placing the cookies into the oven and setting the timer Yan realized he had perfected the art of cookie making after all, and knew exactly how long it would take for the cookies to be cooked to perfection. He also knew that if he hurried he could take a shower in that time. Taking one last look at the timer he darted to the shower. He undressed more quickly than he had ever undressed before, or more quickly than he ever had when it didn’t involve sex anyway. He knew he didn’t have time for his normal shower routine so he went straight to washing and conditioning his hair, saving his shaving for another time. Considering the chill of the air earlier in the day Yan found the warm water to be incredibly soothing and it didn’t take long for him to completely lose track of time. That’s when he started to smell smoke. “s**t!” Without even turning the water off Yan jumped out of the shower and ran naked across his apartment and into the kitchen. Smoke was filling the kitchen and by the time he reached the room the smoke detector was blaring. He tried not to panic and thankfully remembered to grab his oven mitts before opening the oven door and pulling out the cookie sheet. Where golden brown cookies had previously sat there were now lumps of what vaguely resembled charcoal but were probably not nearly as appetizing. Yan dropped the cookie sheet onto the stove, turned off the oven and used the spare cookie sheet to fan the smoke detector. Between the music on the CD player, the shrill beeping of the smoke detector and his own swearing he completely failed to hear his front door being opened. “Mr. Truant, are you-“ Yan turned to see his landlord Mr. Southard staring at him. “Uh… Mr. Truant are you okay?” Feeling himself turn beet red Yan covered himself with the cookie sheet. “Yeah, I’m fine I just was baking cookies and I left them in a little too long and this thing won’t stop beeping.” He was rambling and he knew it, but he was also dripping wet and naked so rambling was the least of his worries. “Why don’t you put some clothes on and I’ll work on clearing some of the smoke out of here?” “Yes, thank you.” Yan skittered towards his room, doing his best to cover himself as he went. “Please don’t let the cat out.” Mr. Southard simply stood in the hall for a few seconds before shaking his head and getting to work on clearing out the smoke. It seemed the more he found out about that boy the weirder he got. (I hope that wasn't too long.)
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Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 9:02 pm
Not too long at all. smile
It was really funny, I've had a similar experience, actually . . . eek
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Posted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 8:36 am
*L* I thankfully have not. I was taking a shower once and opened my eyes to see a spider's sillouette on the shower curtain, and of course it looked far larger than it really was so I ran out of the shower screaming. Thankfully I was the only one home though and no one walked in. xd
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 6:49 pm
Hey, let's get this party started! Again! Anyway ... Quote: Roan rose from his seat as the train began to slow and pulled his battered suitcase down from the overhead storage compartment. Something touched his shoulder and he jerked away, nearly dropping the heavy case on the gray-haired man standing beside him wearing the neat blue jacket of an attendant. "Sorry 'bout that," the man said, his voice thin and fluttery. "Didn't mean to startle you, but Shesade is the next stop. We're just pulling into Devaen to refill the engine for the climb up the mountain." Roan's eyes darted from the old man's moist lips to the vee of pale skin at his throat, to his bony hands, spotted with age and lined by bulging purple veins. Roan swallowed hard and took a step backward "Oh. Than--thanks, but I'm getting off in Devaen," Roan said. The man raised his wispy eyebrows, the afternoon light sparkling in his watery blue eyes. "It's been a while since I've heard someone say that," he said. "You're--" He frowned and looked Roan over from head to toe. "You're not hoping to see Mr. Darvis, are you, because those lawyers in the fancy suits didn't have any luck, so ..." Roan glanced down at himself, worn leather boots and mud spattered up the legs of his jeans, his good blue shirt missing a button on the left sleeve. "I'm not a lawyer," Roan said. "I'm just looking for a quiet place to relax for a while." "Devaen's quiet, for the most part," the attendant said. "Just be sure to lock your doors and windows before you go to sleep. There's a ... demon in that town." Roan's fingers tightened on the handle of his suitcase. "A demon?" he said with a forced laugh. "Surely, a man of your years doesn't believe in demons. They're myths." "Believe it or don't, it's your choice," the man said, his tone short, "but there's a reason all the windows in the inn are nailed shut. Thank you for choosing the Trans-Eshaedra Railroad and have a nice day." Roan watched him walk away and sank into an empty seat, one hand absently combing back through his unkempt blonde hair. Demon. He hadn't heard that word since he left Prythaen, shouted at him as he scrambled into a moving freight car. It seemed like setting himself up for failure to stop in a town already disposed to believe in demons, but he really couldn't afford to make the three hour trip on up the mountain to Shesade. His hands were already shaking, and that old man looked way too alluring for his comfort.
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Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 2:31 pm
this is just a section from the first chapter of my story. In my story there a six characters, so the first six chapters are introductions. This chapter is about Cole O'Malley, he lives in Dublin, Ireland and is 17 years old. He has 4 younger siblings named Avery, D, and The Twins (Avery is the only girl). His father (Conrad) is in the Mafia and his mother had been going in and out of the hospital for the past two years. Context of the excerpt: Cole had gotten in a car accident while arguing with his sister after he picked her up from school. He woke up in the hospital and the same day, his mother died. This takes place 1 week later when he is let out of the hospital. Quote: A week later, Cole was released from the hospital. He had missed his mother’s funeral, but he didn’t mind. His mother wasn’t even there. Conrad had her cremated and scattered the ashes in the ocean the day after she died. The funeral was only for show. People who worked for Conrad had all gathered and told him how sorry they were. She wasn’t in the newspaper either. Kevin came to pick Cole up and drove him home. They pulled into the driveway and Kevin turned off the car. “Listen, Cole,” he said before Cole had opened the door. “The Twins don’t really get what has happened this week. It’s probably the best to not tell them. D gets it, and Avery has been a huge help. I’m taking care of everybody right now, so you just go spend some time doing whatever you need to do. Avery picked up all your school work.” Cole shrugged and got out of the car. He walked up to the 2-story stone house and pulled the door open. He went directly up to his room to find his backpack and a small box on his bed. He ignored the backpack; he didn’t feel like doing school work. But the box drew his attention. He opened the box to find a small note and a silver necklace. The note was in his mother’s handwriting. Cole~
If you are reading this, then I have probably died. I wanted to tell you this in person. I have a secret. Now it is your secret. I never even told your father. Tradition in my family is to pass this necklace down from the parent to the oldest child. It is the only remaining relic of the best friend of someone in our family who disappeared 1000 years ago. It is supposed to be an amulet that can always find its owner. Our ancestor was convinced that friendships as strong as theirs could last through lifetimes. Every person in our family has worn that necklace, hoping to meet that person’s new life. Now it is your turn. You will know if you meet them.
Love,
Mom
P.S. If you meet them, don’t let them go.Stunned, Cole picked up the necklace. It was an ankh on a silver chain. He stared at it for a moment, feeling like his mother was there with him. He put on the necklace and tucked it under his shirt. There was something reassuring about it being there, it was almost like his mother was watching him. Subconsciously, Cole reached for his backpack and began to do his homework. It was easier than normal. He worked late into the night and finished everything. He woke up the next morning at his desk. He looked at his calendar and was happy to see that it was Saturday. He decided to go into the city to see if someone could tell him more about the ankh. The city was empty. It was early in the morning. One or two people were going from shop to shop, minding their own business. A small shop on the corner of an alley caught his eye. It was a fortune teller. Something was telling Cole to go in, he did. He found himself in a small, dark room with a fire in the corner. He smiled to himself. This was the stereotypical fortune teller shop. “Hello,” he called, pushing beads out of his face. “Is anyone here?” “Be there in a minute,” a voice called from a back room. “Feel free to look around while you wait.” Cole looked around the room. The only thing that interested him was the bookshelf. He wandered over to it and scanned the titles of the books. He pulled one out of the shelf that didn’t have a title. The spine of the book only had an ankh, identical to the one on his necklace. He opened the book and began to read. Shared histories until the year 200 AD, our world and Raiden have always had intertwining fates. People from our own world have destinies beyond comprehension there. They never come back. The war in Raiden has claimed many lives, both of its own inhabitants and our own. But why? The answer lies in The Ankh.
The Ankh is a legendary artifact that has never been proven to be real in either world. It is said to be the connection between the two worlds. Whoever had this would be granted power beyond belief. But only one person would be able to control the power. That one person is the creator who, supposedly, died 1000 years ago.
The questions today are these: Does The Ankh exist? Who can use it? It is possible for the soul of the creator to have passed on into another person? Could they control the power?Cole wanted to read more but the fortune teller walked in. He grudgingly closed the book and placed it back on the shelf. Kevin is another member of the mafia who is very close to the O'Malleys
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Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 7:22 pm
This is from my steampunk-esque novel, Across the Sky. I didn't write the song, it belongs to Emilie Autumn. ^_^ This is my favorite part so far, I mean, when they're in the desert and when they're having drinks at the bar. Emmett is in his twenties, Andon and Casey are seventeen and eighteen. Le Recap: Andon and his sister are living on their own, miss a payment, get kicked out of their house, Andon finds wicked awesome map that his missing father drew in the back of a journal, Andon decides to go west because OMG I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO, and he's just left his little sister Eva at his boss's house to take care of her.
Long excerpt is looooong!
Quote: “Finally,” Emmett said, as Andon arrived at the boxcar. “Long, tearful goodbye? So sad. We have places to go.” Andon scowled. “I wanted to make sure she’d be okay.” “Yeah, well. Don’t be worrying about her the whole time we’re gone, or we’ll never get anything done. Ready?” Andon sighed as Casey nodded. “Uh-huh.” “Good. Let’s go. There are mechboards waiting for us in Long County. Until then, we walk.” He shot a look at Casey, a smirk crossing his face. Casey lifted her chin, arms crossed. “Stop looking at me like that. Just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean I can’t do this, you know.” Emmett’s lip curled. “I’m sure. Then stop talking and let’s go.” Turning, he lit up another cigarette, blowing the smoke into the night air as he started through the desert. Casey, disgruntled, followed him, leaving Andon to bring up the rear. The desert at night was an eerie place. It was like stepping into another world. The sand was bathed white by the moonlight, the stars glittering overhead. Their shadows fell long across the sand, as clear as though they had been cast by the sun. The silence was unsettling them all, even Emmett, and Andon couldn’t help but feel grateful when Casey started to sing under her breath. “See beyond the moment
Think beyond the day
Hear the word
My voice will not be cast away
Fatalistic fortune
Ever near the end
Love goes on
But Time does not return again” He joined in, unable to help himself from reciting the familiar words, and soon, even Emmett was whispering the haunting melody. “Across the sky
I will come for you
If you ask me to
Demystify
Your uncommon dreams
Stranger things have come true” None of them would admit it, but the truth was there, as real as the words they were singing. The scope of what they were setting out to do was hitting all three of them. They could very well die on this venture, and never go home again. Even Emmett was intimidated by the idea, here on this white, moonlit desert. “Fear no more the midnight
Fear no more the sea
Close your eyes, regret nothing
You're safe with me
Look into the shadows
Step into the mist
Search your land but doubt never
I still exist” A shooting star ran its path over their heads, and all three of them looked up to see it. “In destruction we may lose ourselves,” Casey whispered, and Andon stopped walking, looking at her. Her skin looked very pale in the moonlight, and her face was upturned, her eyes closed. “But I will still remain, across the sky.” Emmett seemed unsettled, his gaze troubled as they stopped. A soft wind picked up, blowing the sand at their feet. “We have to keep moving,” he murmured, taking a slow breath. “We can’t sleep in the desert. Long County. Come on.” As though coming out of a daydream, the three of them started walking again, their boots kicking up little clouds of dust as they went. Andon reached a hand into his pocket, clenching his father’s compass. “Stranger things have come true,” he whispered to himself, taking a slow, calming breath as he followed his companions through the moon-washed desert. It was several hours before they reached Long County, the song that they had been singing ringing through all of their heads. Their footsteps were weary, their shoulders drooping. Only Emmett seemed to be attempting to act as though he wasn’t tired, walking with his back straight and his head held high. Casey and Andon couldn’t care less, too tired to be bothered by what they looked like coming into town. “We’ll go by zeppelin to Seventy County,” Emmett said as the desert around them faded away, giving way to the outskirts of Long County. “I’ve got a friend there who can supply us with mechboards. Then we’ll head to the Dying County-“ “The what?” Casey cut in, suddenly alert. Emmett shot her a look. “The Dying County. The Dying County of the Channel. It’s the furthest western outpost we have that hasn’t been overrun by Drifters.” Andon and Casey exchanged bewildered looks. “What are Drifters?” Andon asked, his brow furrowed. “Remember that gang that invaded your county? They’re called Drifters,” Emmett explained. “They don’t settle in any one place. That way no one can pinpoint their exact location and be 100% positive about it. Any more questions, or am I allowed to finish explaining now?” Andon ignored the sarcastic note in his voice, and waved a hand for him to finish. “We’ll head to the Dying County and gather supplies, then start out west. You’ve still got that map, Andon?” Andon nodded, pulling it out of his pocket, but Emmett smacked his hand so that it fell back inside. “Idiot! Keep it hidden, got that? Anyone who sees it and has any sense at all knows that they could make big money following that map.” With the journal hidden inside his pocket, the travelers entered the local pub. The sign that swung over the door was adorned with a carved, wooden pair of goggles, and read “The Brass Goggles Alehouse”. Emmett opened the door, letting Casey in ahead of him. She gave a pleased smile, obviously uplifted by being treated like a lady, and Andon had started forward too before Emmett cut him off, letting him keep the door open for himself. Scowling, Andon followed the older male into the dimly lit tavern. Bare light bulbs hung from the ceiling, casting a wavering yet warm glow about the place. The bar had only a few people in it at this early-morning hour- it had to be at least midnight. The bartender, wiping out a filthy glass with an equally filthy rag, looked up at the three as they took up stools at the bar. Andon did a double-take as he looked at the wall behind the rows of mugs and ale- it was made entirely of interlocking gears, nailed up onto the wooden wall. “What’ll it be, gents and lady?” the bartender asked, raising an eyebrow at Andon and Casey. Apparently he didn’t care if they were a bit young to be having drinks. Casey glanced at Andon and Emmett before she spoke. “I’ll take- I’ll take a Southern Brandy,” she said, while Andon and Emmett spoke at the same time. “Bloody Shot.” Emmett immediately laughed, rolling his eyes at Andon. “A bloody shot, boy? That’s got more fire in it than you’ve ever seen in one of your steam engines.” Andon met his gaze coolly. “I’m paying, aren’t I? I’ll get what I want.” Snorting, Emmett shrugged. “Your waste, not mine,” he said, as the bartender slid the drinks across the counter to them. Emmett immediately took a swig, shuddering as the burning whiskey ran down his throat. “Ahh, ‘at’s better… damn it to the goddess, I hate the desert.” He slammed his mug down on the countertop, looking up at the bartender. “S’cuse, sir, but do you have any idea when the next zeppelin is heading out to Seventy County? The sooner the better, after all…” The bartender, looking a little tipsy himself, thought a moment. “Aah… ah figure eet’ll be ‘round noon tamarra…” he said, his voice slurred. “Nah… mebbe… ten in the marnin?” Andon could hardly understand what the man said, but Emmett seemed to hear him perfectly. “All right. Ten, then. We’ll have some time to rest up.” He glanced sideways at Andon, smirking. “You gonna drink that, boy?” Andon glowered at him, taking the mug up in his hand. Casey looked at him from overtop the rim of her own mug, her ale going down easily. Then again, it wasn’t a burning whiskey like a bloody shot. Bracing himself, Andon took a large swallow of the fiery drink, feeling his throat scald as it went down. He winced, almost coughing it back up, and swallowed with a gulp, shuddering. “Not… bad,” he panted, trying to clear his watering eyes. Emmett laughed. ”Told you, boy. More fire than in the steam engines!” And he downed another gulp, letting out a satisfied, “Aaah…” Barely an hour later, the three had headed upstairs to the rooms the Brass Goggles kept for overnight guests, Casey waving a goodnight as she disappeared into her own room. Andon disdainfully followed Emmett into the second room, feeling grateful that there were two small beds inside. He’d sooner sleep on the floor than share a bed with Emmett, who he was slowly discovering that he didn’t like very much. “Be up at eight,” Emmett said, taking off his boots, vest, and shirt. He pulled his goggles over his head, setting them on the small drawer that sat between the two beds. “If we miss that zeppelin it could be ages until another one heads our direction.” “Yeah, yeah,” Andon muttered, stripping down to his pants and leaving his bag at the foot of his bed. “I hear you.” He hung his jacket on the bedpost, removing the journal and putting it under his pillow. On an afterthought, he took the compass out, too, setting it on the table beside him. Emmett scoffed. “What’s that for, boy? A compass?” Andon didn’t even look at him. “It was my father’s,” he said dryly, his head dropping to the pillow as he kept his back to the man. “Don’t see what use it is. Remember this, boy- the only way worth going is west!” And with one last laugh, Emmett reached up to flick off the glass-shielded lamp that shone dimly between the beds. Andon lay there in darkness, his head pounding with countless thoughts. Just this morning he'd been reluctant to get out of bed, enjoying his first day off in two years. Now he wasn't even in his county anymore, off following some crudely drawn map that his father had left, not even meaning for anyone to see it. It was hardly even possible that they would find anything of value if they made it west, and that was a big if. "Stranger things have come true," he whispered to the moth-eaten pillow, sighing and letting himself drift off into sleep.
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Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 8:18 pm
Quote: “Hold the line!” a soot covered and blood-soaked Marcus yelled to his men. This wasn’t good; they were being pushed further back into the city. The outer walls had already been destroyed, taken down by an earthquake caused by the invading Ganesh warriors, and washed away by their fellow Borquesh. It was nearly three years to the day since Marcus had last seen the city of Hel’Anon, and he wasn’t pleased to be there now. Shavil’s army was crumbling under the force of the combined armies of Mirrah, Ganet, and Borquette, though they hadn’t given up without a fight. For three years they resisted, being slowly pushed back until the only thing left to defend was the city of Hel’Anon. Even here, with the elite warriors of light from the temple of Nimos, and the patrons of the Divine Brotherhood close behind erecting huge shields of light and healing the combatants as quickly as they were able, the Shavil army was falling. It was only a matter of time before the empire was completely destroyed in a ball of flame. A large explosion drew Marcus violently from his thoughts. Behind him, the temple of the Divine Brotherhood went up in flames. Holding the line was no longer an option. “Retreat! Get as many people out alive as you can and flee the city!” The moment of stunned silence that followed his order was ruined by another nearby explosion. “You heard me now go!” Marcus didn’t even wait to see if his orders were being followed out, he turned sharply on his heel and broke into a run for the palace. If he got to Faniaus in time, maybe they could make it out of the city through the catacombs. Upon arriving in the palace those hopes were dashed. How had the Mirraesh gotten here so quickly? The once glorious palace was already in shambles. The battered soldier muscled his way through screaming maids and fleeing courtiers, ignored the fire that was spreading on the palace walls fueled by the very tapestries he admired before, to slam open the ornate doors guarding the entrance to the audience chamber. What he saw inside made him freeze. High Emperor Adronis grinned at Marcus as he pulled his arm from the former Emperor Faniaus. A few firey sparks followed the arm on it’s exit and the charred remains dropped without the arm to support it. The body practically exploded into a cloud of dust when it hit the floor, while sweet, innocent Evisersia stood nearby staring at some far off distance a wickedly satisfied grin on her young face. Suddenly, as if noticing him, she turned her head to face Marcus, the grin quickly becoming a sweet smile. “You remembered!” Marcus could only blink, unable to tear his eyes away from the spot of ash that was once his liege. At the edge of his vision he could see Evisersia turn to Adronis and quietly speak to the man who was wiping his hands off on the back of his pants with distain. The young man looked up in time to see Adronis nod then gesture to someone he couldn’t see. Something blurry blocked his vision, and then a white hot flash of pain arced across his face. Marcus managed to focus enough to see Evisersia yelling something angrily at a blur to his left, and then all he knew was darkness.
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