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 Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 10:38 am
The Beginning of the End
Liam Penrose stared at the little pill bottle curiously. What a ride that had been. Apparently they’d gotten him mixed up with some other guy (“long hair, ponytail, red coat, blows people up by touching them? You’re sure that’s not you?”), and now he’d had to go through a court hearing, multiple psychological tests, a physical exam, a limerick-writing contests, and three hours of really bad infomercials.
At some point during all of this he’d mentioned he was a werewolf. This isn’t the sort of thing Liam liked to bring up in casual conversation, but it seemed relevant. And they were determined to medicate him for something before the day was out, so he’d wondered out loud if there was anything he could take to stop him going crazy in wolf form, and now…
Well, now he had a bottle of red-and-black pills, probably meant for the other guy, with a name he couldn’t spell and a list of warnings as long as his arm. Apparently optical insanity was involved, along with nausea, dry mouth, sudden death, and a tendency to crave deep-fried beer-battered twinkies.
But he wasn’t going to have to worry about getting loose and eating people whenever he transformed… maybe it was worth it.
Shrugging, he unscrewed the top of the bottle, popped one of the pills into his mouth, and swallowed. He waited.
Nothing.
Oh well. Whistling a tune, he stuffed the bottle into his pocket and started walking home.
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 10:40 am
Sanity Check
Dann was perched on a stool at the kitchen table, staring at a notebook, a pen held carefully between his thumb and one very, very long finger. Liam’s adopted son, Dann was a part-bat GCB, and his hands were more wing-like then anything. This made them good for flying, but bad for writing. But he needed practice, and Liam had given him a job to do that needed some writing.
Dann had been asked to watch Liam and keep a record of how he was acting. “I’m on some new medication,” Liam had told him, “and I want to make sure it’s not making me go crazy or something. So can you keep an eye on me? Write down anything I do that’s out of the ordinary, so we can have a record?”
“Why do I have to do it?” Dann replied.
“’Cause if they’re making me go crazy, I won’t know if I’m doing something that’s weird. I’ll think it’s normal, because I’m crazy. Right?”
“Uh, yeah,” Dann agreed, slightly less then confident. So now he was sitting at the table, doodling in his notebook, and waiting for Liam to get out of the shower.
BANG! Suddenly the bathroom door was flung open and Liam leapt into the kitchen, wearing nothing but his dog collar and a strategically placed towel. He looked out of breath, as if he had been yelling a lot. Or singing. Frantically, he looked around the kitchen before finding what he was looking for- a long loaf of French bread, lying on the table, which was supposed to be for their dinner tonight. Liam snatched the bread in one dripping-wet hand, held it to his mouth like a microphone, and belted-
“SOMEONE LEFT THAT CAKE OUT IN THE RAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!!!!-”
Dann covered his oversized ears. Liam may have been a fantastic guitarist, but he could not sing. At all. Oblivious to his son’s pain, Liam continued the song, prancing around the kitchen like a rock star, before vanishing back into the bathroom. With the bread.
Sighing, Dann turned to a new page in the notebook and carefully wrote, “Sunday: everything normal.”
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 10:44 am
Illusions
On his second day of taking his mysterious hard-to-spell medication, Liam noticed something a little… odd.
He was sitting outside the pavement next to a coffee shop, plucking out tunes on his guitar and doing his best to keep his fingers warm against he cold, hoping for people to throw a few quarters into his hat, when suddenly-
A dog appeared across the street. It was looking straight at him.
This wouldn’t have been odd, except that when Liam said the dog “appeared,” he meant appeared. As in appearing, without warning, from thin air.
The dog was also slightly fuzzy, like an out-of-focus photograph. Its fur was colored shades of red and black, and it was transparent. He could see the building behind it through its head.
Nobody else seemed to notice it. They walked straight past it, or on a few occasions, straight through it.
Liam closed his eyes and shook his head, trying to get the strange vision to go away. When he opened them, the dog was no longer across the street.
Now it was right next to him, curled up on top of his guitar case, wagging a translucent black-and-red tail. Up close, it looked more like a wolf cub then a dog.
A “yip” went straight into Liam’s brain without bothering to take the normal route through his ears. Startled, he hit a few wrong notes. A passing woman gave him a funny look, but she didn’t seem to see the wolf.
Cautiously, Liam reached out one hand to pet the apparition, but his fingers passed straight through it. Unconcerned, the wolf tried to lick his fingers with a nonexistent tongue.
"I don't suppose you'll give me any nonexistent money?" Liam said sarcastically, giving the illusion a funny look and strumming the first few bars of "Smoke on the Water." Sure, he could play Manuel de Freu's Spanish Dance #1 with his eyes closed, but people only dropped money for the stuff they knew. No matter how stupid it was. The wolf gave another inaudable yip and sat down next to Liam, sniffing his hat curiously.
"Didn't think so." Liam had, by this point, decided that the best way to deal with this was to act as though everything was normal, because if he started screaming and running around and taking his clothes off then things would just get worse. Besides, an invisible dog wasn't the worst thing that could happen to him.
It was still creepy as hell, though.
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Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 1:15 pm
DiscoveriesFrom Liam's journal:Liam
Things I have discovered while on my meds., which I still cannot spell:
1. They make me see s**t. Like little red wolves that like to follow me around.
2. Said s**t is partially transparent and can walk through stuff.
3. Meaning I cannot keep said s**t out of my room by locking the door.
4. Dann can't see it.
5. Or hear it.
6. Dann now thinks I am insane.
7. Invisible wolf can apparently hear Dann, because it howls (inaudibly) whenever Dann tries to practice the clarinet. Understandable.
8. Invisible and intangible it may be, it can still, apparently, drink my coffee. I brewed an entire pot this morning and it's ALL GONE.
9. Oh, wait. Dann says I drank that coffee myself.
10. I don't believe him. He looks suspicious.
11. Am I insane or not?
12. Why am I still writing this as a list?
13. ANYHOO. Still unknown if pills are helping with lycanthropy, since we haven't had a full moon since I got 'em. I know for sure I haven't had any urge to blow things up, but that's normal...
14. Oh, never mind.
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 9:50 am
Fish. And things.From Liam's journal again:Liam Odd day today. Was playing guitar in the park. Stupid people don't appreciate good classical music. Some guy yelled "PLAY FREEBIRD!" Moron. So I threw my left shoe at him. Lil' wolf-thing ran after said shoe, attempted to fetch it, but could not. Guy got angry and ran across the park waving his umbrella at me. So I ran across the street. Minus one shoe.
Had a long confusing chase scene down the street. Stopped in a shoe store along the way to buy new shoe. Somehow wound up with a cheeseburger instead. Don't know how that happened. Then stole some kid's rollerskates, set off down the hill, and had to dodge two guys carrying a large pane of glass. The morons honestly move that pane of glass across the street EVERY SINGLE DAY. They can't decide where to put it. Honestly, guys, just leave it until a window gets broken and you actually NEED it. Seriously.
Anyhoo. Umbrella moron finally caught me at the dock and proceeded to attack me with a large herring. I hit him over the head with my guitar. Snapped two strings and cracked the soundboard. That's going to cost a lot of money. Finally the moron was distracted by a passing muffin salesman and I got out of there.
Dann is now complaining that I smell like fish. He seems to think I really have gone crazy. But he's wrong! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
...why did I just spell out "wahahahaha?"
Anyway. Must go get fish smell out of my hair.
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Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 4:19 pm
Reserved for growth post, when I get off my wasted lazy a**. Don't hurt me.
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