Welcome to Gaia! ::

Wow! I really like this character. Drama/theater has always been one of my interests but I've always been too stage shy (Add to that I have no singing voice and a memorization block to boot) to ever do anything about it.

I think your character is well rounded out, but I have a few questions for you.

What happened during those four missing years? Did any events occur that should be noted of? What did Cain do after he was released from jail? Had he been plotting the exchange with Moreau sence his emprisonment? How did he meet Moreau? How did he find out about feral labs? How did he learn about what feral labs would do/ that feral labs would take her? Does he have a special relationship to Feral labs?

Why didn't her parents call the cops after Cain murdered Ivyan? Who is Ivyan and why was she living with him? How did Ivyan and Val meet? How was Ivyan killed? (I'd like to see some more detail on that part. ^^)

What are some of your plans for when she gets to the island? Would she be interested in live-action-roleplaying? Etc.

The name Valkyrie also strikes me as terribly awkward. It seems like one of those words that, though it exists as a name and a word, isn't something you would call a child in norway (or anywhere else) for example, I wouldn't call my kid something silly like "scythe", "cherubim" or "banana" but I'd wager that somewhere on some online site those names would appear. I mean it sounds horribly like someone who isn't from norway trying to...well, sound like they are.

Despite how many "cool teens" nowadays would like it, most parents have more sense than to name their kids after legendary loose women/warriors. I mean I'd get some funny looks if I named my kid "Odin/Sleipnir/Norn/Freja/a whole host of other legendary names"

Whatever happened to regular naming conventions?

Oh dear, where do I start.

I've found recently that questors have gotten into the habit of falling in love with a serum animal idea and then twisting their characters to fit. Now, I find no problem with wanting a specific animal for a serum JUST because you like it. Hell, why not?

My issue stems from the overuse of IRONY as a tool to make a serum "fit".

The name, for instance. Not only does it strike me as more than a little awkward, but it relates to Norse mythology in every way possible. Why would her parents want to relate their daughter to such a tasteless mythical group of people? And even if they wanted to for their own personal reasons, why would they be inclined to name her in EVERY WAY POSSIBLE relating to the myth? Its probably not intentional but it could really be compared to something horrible like "Kitty Cat Smith" or "Sky Blue Thompson" D: Amen Baney, Amen!

Next, appearances aside (There's so many people magically acquiring looks having nothing to do with their parents genes >__< but its ok, I'll let it go), her personality and maneurisms are DRIPPING with irony. Why need a serum when you already act exactly like a crow! Do you see what I'm saying? Its so obvious... its cheesy. Cheesy obvious.

Small tidbits about her history:
If she KNEW her ex had killed her boyfriend, why didnt her parents go to the police and at least help them select him as a prime suspect? You'd think she could've gotten a restraining order in the LEAST with how bad he was acting.

I like the vices of her smoking and ruining her voice. The "Skinny but not so skinny that she's ugly, and she has big big boobies!" kinda irked me into smacking my head into something but the small little vices here and there sorta balance it out a bit. (Har har big nose!)

How the heck did her Ex find out about the island let alone CONTACT Moreau and convince him to abduct his ex girlfriend for his experiments? Convincing a psychotic doctor to abduct someone out of "revenge" isnt far off the map but come on...


Anyways I didn't state all this for the pure enjoying of ripping your concept a new one, I just wanna help. Don't take any of this personally. <3

Black hair is dominant, blonde is recessive. Green eyes are recessive to blue, I believe. Though I know for sure that blue in itself is recessive, brown being dominant. I was just stating that the genetics isn't logical though possible to some degree.

Did she not have an alibi? No motive? A loving relationship with her boyfriend? I conviction of murder doesn't seem likely. You'd think the Police would track her down regardless. Not reporting the murder is a crime in itself and is suspicious, don't you think? Something opposite of what she'd want?

And I'm not saying she's sprouting feathers and building a roost. I was pointing out the irony of the personality and how it added to the overall excessive irony in the character.

Just my opinion.

I have made the appropriate changes to the name and eye color. I will be working on the story as soon as I can. I'm already late for class. I'll be back later on tonight.