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 Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 3:15 pm
Honestly, you ( I mean in the general sense) Would let what your partner did in the past ruin what you have together?
Sex, like all things in a relationship, means exactly what you want it to mean. and if the partner's previous experience takes away from the relationship, then your heart's in the wrong place.
That's my opinion, anyway.
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 4:21 pm
DarkHalcyon Honestly, you ( I mean in the general sense) Would let what your partner did in the past ruin what you have together? Sex, like all things in a relationship, means exactly what you want it to mean. and if the partner's previous experience takes away from the relationship, then your heart's in the wrong place. That's my opinion, anyway. You will probably think it very silly, but yes, I would not want my partner to have had sex with somebody else; in my view, it would make whatever we share less special. Why would I be any different then the girl he was with and dumped? What if he's just in the relationship for pure physical intimacy? To me, there would just be something special and pure about a partner being the other's first and likewise. If you don't mind my asking, why would you not mind it if a partner had been with somebody before? Couldn't they be carrying STDs or something as well? sweatdrop And a question for Yvette: Why is pressure put on girls to be virgins? There's a enormous amount of people in my school who could care less, and are constantly talking about their sexual exploits, so it seems to be they really don't care. sweatdrop I'm personally rather proud of being one, yes, but you either care or you don't, and that's all there is to it. sweatdrop Anyway, I don't mean to offend anybody with my opinion, and sorry if I do. sweatdrop Lastly, a note to Akilles: Are you being sarcastic or serious? Sorry- it's hard to tell on the Internet, so I'm sorry if I did something to offend you. sweatdrop
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darkphoenix1247 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 6:49 pm
darkphoenix1247 If you don't mind my asking, why would you not mind it if a partner had been with somebody before? Couldn't they be carrying STDs or something as well? sweatdrop It doesn't bother me. I expect my partner to think I'm special, to love and to appreciate me for who I am, and not whom I've been with. *shrug* Anyway, about STDs, they make tests for those things, you know. I'd have the two of us march our butts down to Planned Parenthood, end of story.
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 6:56 pm
DarkHalcyon darkphoenix1247 If you don't mind my asking, why would you not mind it if a partner had been with somebody before? Couldn't they be carrying STDs or something as well? sweatdrop It doesn't bother me. I expect my partner to think I'm special, to love and to appreciate me for who I am, and not whom I've been with. *shrug* Anyway, about STDs, they make tests for those things, you know. I'd have the two of us march our butts down to Planned Parenthood, end of story. very good that's what i'm doing when I turn 18, plus i have to start getting base line tests on everything so they can keep track of everythign to see if i get cancer or not. Yea the more I read the more I start to think virginity is over rated, yea it's nice but over rated.
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 8:14 pm
I don't really think it's overrated. Yes, girls are put under a lot of pressure to be virgins, but they are also put under a lot of pressure to not be virgins. It's a confusing world for a female these days. And also for men too.
I do believe it's even worse for boys. It seems like if you HAVEN'T gotten a blow job by the time your 16...you're gay or you're scared. I think guys need to ligthen up on eachother AND girls.
Being a profound believer in independence, I think it is ultimately a personal decision that one must face, HOWEVER don't just tromp around sexing it up with anyone who's willing. That's how you get STDs.
Also, the bottom line is...if a guy is in a relationship for sex...He won't wait around. By the time I think you can truly tell you are ready to have sex with a person, a boy who's in it for just the physical aspect would be long gone. Unless he just really wants your bod. Of course, that's insentive to stay I would think. whee
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 9:04 pm
Yea you are right about guys, surpised you're the first to bring them up. I really wish I could agree or disagree with you, but I don't really hang out with a bunch of guys. I mean all the guys I know are the nerdy type who dont' really tease eachother about having or not having had sex. Either that or else they are all gay, or already have had sex and don't give a s**t.
Sooo I simply say what Emily said," If guys say they've had sex, they are lieing because If they have had sex they wouldn't be bragging about it. Then that goes for anythign drinking ect ect."
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Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 2:25 am
Lalalalala... Come on guys, lets stop this conv right now.... I find it inappropriate... I mean, if you really want to know whether it's good or not, ask a Rabbi...
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Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 6:32 am
Well..I am a non-religious jew... Hilonit is anyone knows this word.
This issue is very problematic I think... I also think the answer to this is individual... It depends on the relationship you wish to have in your marriage..
I for example, can't see myself marrying someone before having sexual relations with him first... I think that only then will I know if I can fully trust the man i want, and feel the most comfortable with him from the mental and the physical aspect...
Unlike me - I have a freind that says that she would not have sex before marrige... When I was younger, I thought that maybe it is because she is yet to even kiss, or having any kind of intimate realtionship with someone... Nowdays, I am a bit older and I think I am alot wiser than then, I believe that she wants a more spiritual relationship, and that she wants the sexual relations to stay "Holly" if you can call it like that...
There is a phrase that says: "Two jews, 3 opinions".. Maybe thats true I think that everyone has their own reasons of why to have sex before marrige and why not to...
I have a religious side in the family... After going to some weddings, I got really interested in what the religion says about intimate relationship before marrige... Right now I am learning about it when I have time, and maybe soon I'll be able to express my opinion also about what religion says...
Although, in my opinion, the success of marrige depends on the bond between the couple... Emotional and spiritual bond I mean... Intimate relations are just a great addition to expressing this bond...
This is my opinion, I know it is not acceptable to some of you, but like some said here, this is a discussion and I feel like I can express my opinion here as a hilonit.
D
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Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 8:07 am
Quote: Although, in my opinion, the success of marrige depends on the bond between the couple... Emotional and spiritual bond I mean... Intimate relations are just a great addition to expressing this bond... That's a good point, but I have to point out that the true love and bond is supposed to start once your married. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't have any bond at all before you marry, but I think that sex is definately NOT the first thing you would look at that marks whether you were meant for eachother or not. If you want to know if you REALLY were meant for eachother, if you get along without sex, then you can be sure you really are meant for eachother (Though there are people that are simply physically incapable... That's something else entirely). The problem in most cases is that a person decides to have sex with someone they love, yet end up not marrying... and they regret it very much.. We've gotta face it, sometimes that sweet love just isn't who you thought... And it also works the other way around, it bonds them so deeply, that even if in the end that person may not be the true person they were meant to be with, they won't break apart, because they already had sex. This may not be true in all the cases, but it is a factor (at least it would have been for me). Sex is something holy, it is a triangle of G-d, man, and his wife, together they create life, something unnatural. To have sex before marriage... Do you really mean to have a child through that? Obviously it's just to satisfy that burning desire of love! That's not what sex is all about. Sex was meant to intensify the love between a man and a woman through creating a family, attatchment to G-d, and holiness! Just my two cents sweatdrop
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Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 8:09 am
Link_of_Hylia Maybe this is what you didn't want to hear, but you blew it. Though there is one way. And that is to have your sins forgiven. One person of 3 can so that. The father. Adonai. The Son. Yeshua. And the Holy Spirit. What does Jesus and the holy spirit have to do with anything? G-d is one and only in the world, and that's what we beleive in. Please stick to the jewish beliefs, this is a jewish community.
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Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 10:12 am
tsshark Lalalalala... Come on guys, lets stop this conv right now.... I find it inappropriate... I mean, if you really want to know whether it's good or not, ask a Rabbi... Why is inappropriate.
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Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 10:44 am
tsshark Lalalalala... Come on guys, lets stop this conv right now.... I find it inappropriate... I mean, if you really want to know whether it's good or not, ask a Rabbi... Well...if you find it inappropriate then just dont pay attention to it... problem solved 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 11:49 am
ok... after reading more of your replies, i would like to say some more...
i think that the holy thing is children. i personaly would never have children with someone i am not married to. i know that in the religion it is forbiden to use protection (correct me if i am wrong), but i don't believe in that... ofcourse i won't jump into bed with someone i don't love and didn;t have a long-term relationship with. having sex is... being the most vulnerable... showing all of you out... so i think some thinking should be done before having sex...
in my opinion sex isn't only for making children... i can't express it really... its like... in my opinion only after knowing the person updise down and inside out you can marry him... and knowing how to please a lady or a man while having sex if also a way to know eachpthers little secrets...
i wanted to ask you all somthing if it isn't too rude... is oral sex before marrige acceptable? is it even allowed at all?
anyways, i think that as for illnwssws transfered by having sex, protection is excelent, and blood tests are good too, until you have a permenent partner.
as for the past of your partner, if you first created a strong emotional bond before the sexual one, i think it doesn't matter. a guy / girl who wants only sex won't usually wait this long...
i personaly can't let's say kiss someone that wasn't my friend before...
i would really like to hear more opinions... this subject really interests me...
and for the record - i am still a virgin
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