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Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 12:26 am
I like her appearence so far, kind of mist and faded-dawn like... I suppose I'd like to see a little more of what you think might happen as she got older, or tie in the magic of Avalon a bit more into her appearence.
Personality I think you fall down a little in. I'd rather see aspects of her past life creeping in to her personality, rather than just her current life shaping that. Considering that Lost Children arrive at teen stage, she could stand to be more aware. Especially when Avalon held values like women in charge, the magic and power of women, paganism, etc. It would be more interesting to see some of those things present in her.
Part of the contest is also explaining more about the world she's been living in until now, and a more detailed history of this life so far ^_~
I'd be careful how you word her desire to be wooed and worshipped, too. You don't want people to take that the wrong way and think she's always going to be wanting attention from others but not doing much to get it. You might lose points with the judges if they decide she sounds too high-maintenance the RP with.
Loving the Avalon as a base though, and since you only just started, I know you can do a ton of cool things with it as you develop her more heart
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Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 2:13 am
Thanks Kali!! I totally agree too I wasn't entirely happy with the personality bit. I was more brainstorming I suppose. As I went on last night and started to get into powers I realised I needed to re-write. I watched a couple of Arthurian themed movies too to get me in the mood. Quote: Part of the contest is also explaining more about the world she's been living in until now, and a more detailed history of this life so far ^_~ Ha yes! I know where I can put that too. *goes to shuffle stuffs around* Hmm yeah and don't want her too high maintenence ... she'd start to irritate me too. wink EDIT: Quote: Especially when Avalon held values like women in charge, the magic and power of women, paganism, etc. It would be more interesting to see some of those things present in her. Avalon was not so much women in charge as women as equals. The Taliesin and the Lady of the Lake worked side by side as did The Great Mother and the King Stag ... niether works without the other. I don't want her to be too crazy feminist ... she'd get like Seraphine in my NaNo novel and start gunning the guys down ... not a very sociable trait. wink Though i do want to develop her more mystical side ... embracing Avalon as a protective and spiritual place. As she's embracing the feminine side, maybe she would be quite maternal as an Adult. Giving help to those who need it ... a bit of a wise woman and an agony aunt. I think I am holding back a lot in the magic side ... I was a bit wary with the warnings about making characters too powerful and using too much elemental magic ... sooo I'm trying to research different angles.
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Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 6:07 am
O.k, If anyone is floating around I have updated with edits. I'm happier with the personality now and the new developments.
Kali, if you're around ... is that any better?
To Do
* History and upbringing * More arts *Zaie's prof
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Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 3:38 pm
I must read this when I get the time, but I'm going to say this just for the sake of mythbase: Check with Arri (Arrien) about what NPCs she's using so that you can either work with her or do your own thing. Checking with guardians is a veeeery good idea, especially if you're not clear on anything or if you want to create even a pre-birth relationship. There's nothing wrong with sharing a myth from the same database, but if they're that close (as in, Arthur and Excalibur, Avalon and Arthur's sister... etc) you want to look in to what everyone else has planned before you set your stuff in stone and get attached. ^^
But yay Avalon! I liked the movie. <3
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Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:08 pm
Personality, etc. is looking a lot better than before ^^
Yeah, I wouldn't pick any healing powers. We already have several healer fa'e, mostly Shina but I think a few others have traces of it, too. Maybe research some more about any kind of other defenses Avalon had, or look into myths more about the various Ladies and see what kinds of magic they used...
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Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 3:16 am
Chibi Sheepcat I must read this when I get the time, but I'm going to say this just for the sake of mythbase: Check with Arri (Arrien) about what NPCs she's using so that you can either work with her or do your own thing. Checking with guardians is a veeeery good idea, especially if you're not clear on anything or if you want to create even a pre-birth relationship. There's nothing wrong with sharing a myth from the same database, but if they're that close (as in, Arthur and Excalibur, Avalon and Arthur's sister... etc) you want to look in to what everyone else has planned before you set your stuff in stone and get attached. ^^ But yay Avalon! I liked the movie. <3 Thank you for your comment and concern ^^ I PM-ed Arrien so everything is cool there. I'm actually not focusing on the Arthurian part. It's in there with her quest items but other than that Arthur isn't of major importance to my quest. My reason .... He was a man with a man's lifespan. Avalon as an isle was around for centuries. As a gateway to the underworld many heros would have been buried on her shores. Arthur just got lucky with fame. ^^ Also I am VERY flexible ... so if pieces do overlap or need changing, that's not a problem for me. Thanks for your comments heart
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Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 3:25 am
kalindara Personality, etc. is looking a lot better than before ^^ Yeah, I wouldn't pick any healing powers. We already have several healer fa'e, mostly Shina but I think a few others have traces of it, too. Maybe research some more about any kind of other defenses Avalon had, or look into myths more about the various Ladies and see what kinds of magic they used... *luffs on* Yeah, that's what i thought. It's a very common power. I suppose the problem with British religion (as an Ancient History student I'm forbidden to use the word 'Celtic') is it is the religion of the druids ... and where most RP template powers come from. Sooo I'm having issues. I am, however looking into the Fae (the actual race not the breedable) legends for the Isle, the ones that predate Arthur. It was a gateway to the underworld and has a lot to do with the number 9, the moon and stuffs. A -big- power of avalon was that of Sight ... this involved seeing the future and also being able to see people in water and mirrors ... kinda like spying. However I know Foresight is usually a big nono although it would be more prophercy than fortune telling. *keeps researching* Thanks again Kali. heart
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Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 4:49 am
*resumes work.*
To do this week ...
* Work on quests * Work on powers
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Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 6:42 am
All righty, looked it all over, aaand....  Just as a random note/idea; one thing Avalon was supposed to be famous for was its apples. Maybe that could be included somewhere? :3
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Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 5:37 am
Ahh, yes ... *makes a note.*
Thank you very much. ^___^ heart
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