Welcome to Gaia! ::

First -- wow, cute picture! (I KNOW, I'M EASILY DISTRACTED.)

Ok, first off -- the reason why I can't stamp this is because it reminded me almost immediately of Dawna, who is also a siren and also very emo!

(Also, I think Laylana is a Siren -- or at least a siren-like demon -- as well.)

I got very confused about your mythbase from what little you had written of it (I can't really tell you why, but the way you presented it wasn't very coherent), and I think what may help you in this quest was something I found in Wikipedia here:



I think if you presented her as being a Rhine Maiden and not a Siren (which is a Greek and not a Germand myth anyway), your concept would not interfere as much. Even still, you should perhaps consider that we have a LOT of Fa'e already who have singing as their primary ability. I really like the idea of her 'listening' to other objects (and making them sing as well? You didn't really expand upon that so I can't tell), so perhaps you can focus on that instead of her own personal singing.

...Also, to be honest, the 'tear below her eye because her past life was so horrible' kind of makes me laugh. =( It's probably not the effect you were looking for. If you want to do something along those lines, perhaps you can have it so her eyes are red-rimmed and watery so it looks like she's perpetually crying, but a tear-shaped marking is kind of really cliched.

Plus, again, Dawna is a Fa'e who always has a 'undercurrent' of sadness behind everything she does (at least, she used to, this might not be the case anymore.) And actually, Dawna has tear-shaped markings (or she did in her kid/past-teen stages) beneath her eyes too. ^^;

You put the word "crit" in your title and thus you have summoned the Sheepcat. xD

Righto! First off, you have a very well-organized thread. Everything follows a smooth order, you've got the most important information at the top and you've got pretty arts. I mean, what more could you want? X3

Moving down, your info is nice. Just out of curiousity's sake, is there anything else you can find on the Rhine Maidens? It's kind of a short section, but if that's honestly all you can find on your myth, not a problem. There is just one sentence, however, that don't make sense to me:

-"But the Loreley isn't just a bad person out of nothing" <- I think I know what you mean by this, but only because I read the rest of the paragraph. Do you mean that the Loreley isn't a bad person just because she wants to be?

Other than that, it looks good!

Down again and into the profile. Aria doesn't strike me as an uncommon name (especially since it's a musical term), and you did mention below in the guardian profile that Prem likes playing the piano. The next thing that really catches my attention is the blurb you have for sexuality:

"Depends on her experiences with men. If she's played on again or betrayed she may lock her heart away from the male species and will turn over to women. In general she's just looking for someone to really love her, no matter which gender." <- This is one of the most clichéd and (in my humble opinion) stupid ways of having a female character be a lesbian. Seriously, this one of the oldest reasons in the book and I can count the number of times I've seen this on my hands and my feet. Arri said to me that unless you're giving a strict "she was heterosexual in her past life and still that now" don't put sexuality down on your profile. If you want to play on the "She was betrayed by men la la la", then have her be a lesbian from the get go. Have her not like men AT ALL. Right now you're giving me the "I feel uncomfortable with playing a definite lesbian character so I'll give myself a way out just in case" vibes. If you can't/don't want to decide now then don't put sexuality down. Makes your life a looot easier, plus it makes the profile that much less corny. Like Cere said with the tear thing: whatever response you're trying to get from that, it's not very effective. If you're trying for the "She wants love," then that's more a personality trait then her sexuality.

Appearance... I'd like to suggest that you flesh out your appearance. I believe that it's going to be an important part of the Lost Child contest, so I think it would be in your best interest to have a small paragraph about it. Also, it was mentioned in your myth info that the Rhine Maidens always wet hems on their dresses. Why not include this in her appearance?

-"Aria usually doesn't hide her emotions and so you can be sure to experience joy and sadness when meeting her." <- Do you mean that when you meet her you'll know if she's happy or sad?

I like her personality! You've got an interesting basis there that all fits together nicely. It's a nice brief personality, however I'd recommend you read it over and try to clarify things. The way you write almost sounds like you're trying to describe something without absolutes, and while this is good in some cases, I think for a personality you need more absolutes and solid words. For example: "This Fa'e always tries to make a good impression and such bad behaviour wouldn't fit at all" could become:

For Aria, making a good impression is everything. In her mind, bad behaviour is something that should not be equated with a lady, and as such she looks down her nose at troublemakers and those who attract negative attention.

You also say she prefers intrigues, and while "intrigues" is a nice word, I think you could settle for something simpler. ^^

Aaaaand, I think that's it. Everything else looks awesome. I wait eagerly for your stamp! <3

The thing I need to ask is: are there any other sources for this myth than the poem you found? I'm worried that that might not be a suitable source for a Fa'e if not; I know that Sosi already disallowed one myth concept because it was based solely on a piece of writing from the 1300's, and I'd worry that this could also fall under the same disqualification.

Also, just to make sure you are aware; there is already a Fa'e in existence with a very similar myth and powers. Dawna is based off of the Greek Siren, and there's very little that seperates the two myths in the backgrounds here. Your chances of getting a Fa'e off of this concept could be hindered due to that.

However, all I really need to know for the stamping is if there are other sources for this myth. 3nodding

All righty, looks good, then!