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 Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 9:18 pm
*That's it.* I have now claimed the front page, so people can post, but I am not finished typing stuff, obviously.
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Posted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 3:17 pm
*Update* The stuff concerning the upcoming contest has been expanded, and he biography has "personality". xp Also the "Powers" section of the biography has been redone to be more accurate.
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Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 10:00 am
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Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 4:18 pm
*Announcement!* I am possibly changing my myth and would like to hear what you all have to say about it. Advice, cheers, critiques, you name it I want it. Just remeber to have something useful and/or nice in your post.
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 11:44 am
Without even reading through everything, I suggest you break it up. Make a post for the Myth. Then one for the Rebirth, and then Powers, since there is SUCH involvement there.
It's really hard to get the gist of everything when it's all thrown together. I know it's sort-of separated, but when lumped all in one post it's hard to get through, and MIGHT cause confusion. Which you really don't want.
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 11:46 am
I agree with Nessy, it needs broken up and spread out a little more.
I also think this is a great myth! (but I'm partial to anything celtic in origin 3nodding ) I can tell your in-progress right now, and I look forward to seeing it once its finished!
::Leaves a great big box of Luck on your door step::
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Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 11:50 am
*Update* I have updated the "Who is she" and the "Myths, Stories and Legends" sections to match the Leanan Sidhe myth.
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Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 12:59 pm
Just as a comment:
One thing that's worrying me right of the bat is her powers. Coining Puchi's wonderful brain once more, there are four areas in which a character could specialize: strength, speed, magic, and intelligence. Right now, she's pretty much the master of all, and vulnerable in none. If this character was in a battle, no matter what someone tried to throw at them, they'd have something to throw right back.
In general, in fact, this comes across as a character without weaknesses- in powers, or appearence, or personality, or most anything. And that's something I'd try to focus on right away if I were you. Think about the current Fa'e, and what we like about them. I absolutely adore Lethe for her manipulations and "I don't know what to do so I'll copy what someone else does so they like me" nature, and Callix for his egotism and lusting, and Arkie for this thick-headedness and immaturity. People are drawn to characters for their weaknesses, not their strengths. Without them, what's the interest in your character as a stand-alone?
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Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 3:33 pm
I just want to mention a few things, even though I know you're not finished. I'll leave the power and personality sections alone because Arri basically covered those very nicely. What caught my attention as I read through your quest page is your Fa'e appearance. You say:
"She is a dark beauty. What more needs to be said? Anya working with that should be more than I could hope for.
As a sidhe, she doesn't get sick much and is stronger than she looks. Nothing really special here."
What more needs to be said? Everything. The Sidhe is described as a dark beauty but what does that mean? I can tell you right off the bat that that pair of words could mean so many different things that I don't think anyone but you would have a good idea of what your Fa'e looks like. Especially since the Lost Child contest is coming up, I'm going to borrow Kochi's genius and tell you what she said to me: make a definite appearance. Make it so that if I read through that appearance I know exactly what she looks like. I'm not saying you have to describe he all the way down to what colour she paints her toenails, but you definitely need more here that "oh well she's a dark beauty." Also, what makes her so strong? I don't remember reading anything about that in the links you provided.
Finally, while you've come up with a good way for her to die, WHY is she coming back? Remember, death can be as much a gift as it can be a punishment. Give her a reason to come back.
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Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 5:52 pm
Please define the "magic" powers a lot more. You say she can do practically anything? Uh, no ^^;; You shouldn't be saying she can do the same things as a witch or wizard, because their magic would be horribly different (through spells and such), as well as still having to focus/define their powers if they were a witch/wizard fa'e. The "magic" section is very too general and all-encompassing.
The other thing I'll just say is make sure you've read the info on Faerie that Kamiki and Sabin have linked up in the database, since they've already created a world and some rules for the various Faerie races. (IMO, Sidhe are as much "faerie" as Seelie are. )
And yes, please don't have her strong, intelligent, magically powerful, etc. She shouldn't be everything, and she should most definately have a s many weakness as she has powers.
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 10:44 am
rofl It's nice to know that I was on the right track. I have a lot of things I'm working on, but haven't had the time to put up. Since I have been working on the things you all have stated, I will make sure to consider what you have mentioned and take your coments as things to fix in the thread. Thank you for commenting. I apreciate the time and effort. I don't usually know what others will pick out of my concepts, so this is very helpful.
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Let me see, I'll be explaining the powers and how they are used better. In conjunction with that will be a discription of what she can and can't do without the powers. That will show that what sounds like a bunch of huge powers aren't really as great as they sound. In the myth the focus is inspiring others. This is how the inspiration powers will be used. Simply put, inspiration is all in the mind and doesn't grant a person more anything. It just helps them access or use more of what they have. By doing that a person will have normal prices to pay for using more than they usually do, exhaustion, aches, pains, possible injusries and indirect consequences. The added help it trying to limit serious damage such as using too much strength causing a person to rip joints apart or breaking bones. Similar goes for using magic and intelligence beyond the norm via the inspiration powers.
Her magic is some what a side note due to being sidhe. By being like those other things I mean effects, not the means of working the magic. When I rewrite the powers I'll be toning down the magic to doing mid-level stuff at most. The other thing is I want to talk with a particular Fa'e Guardian before filling out the magic for exactly how and what she does. Right now the only stuff I know for sure is that poems, and possibly celtic knots, will be a part of the magic.
It should be noted that level three should be considered her power/skill level when an ancient or just before. Also she doesn't get to start at level one for all of them.
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On her looks, I'm not quite sure yet. When I rewrite the stuff, I will be putting up a general description. More than that I will be defining what "mysterious dark beauty" means by what is in the myth.
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Could the "be more specific" stuff stop for a bit? I'm just finishing up finals and final projects this week. I haven't had the time to write out all the details. Plus, this is a brand new myth base.
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Side-effects:
Randomly being able to do really neat stuff has it's problems. You never know when or if you will be able to do it again. You are not reliable, because what you can do fluctuates constantly. This means internal and external conflict. Things like self doubt and conflicts with others who think that if you did it once you can obviously do it again. Then there is what others will say when she is vague and mysterious about when she might be able to do something and what she will be able to do. And what happens when she offers to help and can't do her part because of a lack of inspiration?
Beyond this is the fact that having inspiration may help, but it can also get you into bigger troubles. You have the inspiration in planning, but looose the inspiration while putting the plan into action. You are in a group of adventurers who got through the first problems with your help, but now you have no clue what to do. When hobody else comes up with something, and they are all stressed out, you become the target of their frustration.
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I'm sorry for the confusing order of things in this post, but this is nicer than how it's put together in my head. All of this is subject to change if I have reason.
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 11:29 am
Rogue Dragon Could the "be more specific" stuff stop for a bit? I'm just finishing up finals and final projects this week. I haven't had the time to write out all the details. Plus, this is a brand new myth base.
If a section isn't finished, put "MORE COMING SOON" or make a note somewhere that a section is going to be cleaned up soon.
It is assumed that what you have now is your finished product. Unless you state otherwise, it's going to be taken as such.
It'll really tone down the "be more specific" comments. Trust me, I've done it myself before and the comments of that nature poofed.
Hee, I like your mythbase, so I'm taking an interest in this quest. Good luck.
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 2:00 pm
stare I had one. Now it's red, size 27, bold, underlined and italicized.
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Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 7:01 pm
"Fixing" and "not finished" mean two different things to me. 'Fixing' means that you're going through and correcting errors/making changes based on peoples comments. 'Not finished' means that you're still working on bits and there is stuff missing. Plus, you ask for critique in your title. If it's not finished put something underneath the paragraph saying "still sorting out this" or put something in front like "this is just the general idea." Helps people who are a reading your thread comment on what you've got and give suggestions for how to better what you have.
Whether you like it or not the "be more specific" will be with you until you've explained everything in such depth that there's no room for question. My quest thread was finished when I asked Arri to read it and she had me add even more detail to my already detailed background info. You have to make your thread/your concept as appealing as possible and detail is key. My point from all this: You can think you're finished and someone will come along and ask you to "be more specific." Don't get so uptight about it. We're offering advice for your benefit. xD
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Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 12:23 pm
To be perfectly frank, you are always always going to hear "Be more specific." You wanted to know if your idea/mythbase/whatever would work; we can't tell you that until you are, well, more specific!
Besides which, our point in telling you to "Be more specific" is in thinking that perhaps you did not realize to add any more depth to a specific trait. We're inviting you to think more on a particular facet of your character, something you may or may not do otherwise. It's certainly not meant to be condescending or insulting, you're making it out to be a bigger deal than it actually is.
PS: unless you specifically ask for comments on something in particular, you might just put "IN REWRITES" in your topic title, and leave out the "Comments?", so people don't have to waste their time telling you to be more specific.
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