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 Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 11:50 pm
I don't think it's selfish not to want kids. Some people just don't. I think it's selfish to have kids knowing that you don't want or can't support them. At least you realize what you want before you're pregnant.
At the same time, I see so many people who base so much of their decision of having a kid on this fear that the child will grow up to hate you. I have to say...I've had a pretty rough life (been through 3 families, 2 of which were abusive) and I don't hate anyone, even those that hurt me. Most of my friends have had rough times with their parents and certainly they're hurt and angry but they don't hate their parents either. I think it's pretty rare for a child to really grow up to hate their parents.
smile
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Posted: Fri Jun 10, 2005 4:05 am
THERE IS ALWAYS A CHANCE THAT YOUR KID IS GOING TO HATE YOU
BUT MOST OF THE TIME THIS IS ONLY A PHASE THAT THE CHILD GOES THROUGH (ADOLESACE I THINK)
ONCE THEY ARE PAST THOSE 5-10 YEARS OF THEIR LIFE THEY WILL LOVE YOU EVEN MORE FOR NEVER STOPPING LOVING THEM BECAUSE THEY WILL SEE HOW MUCH OF A d**k THEY WERE TO YOU
HOW MANY 20+ PEOPLE DO YOU KNOW WHO HATE THEIR PARENTS
YEAH THAT IS A GOOD POINT
MOST OF THE TIME IT IS NOT JUST YOU WHO HAS TO CARRY THE BURDEN
ANY DECENT GUY WOULD BE THERE TO HELP YOU (SORRY IF SOME ONE GOT YOU PREGNANT AND THEN RAN OFF TO ANYONE WHO READ THIS BUT IF I GOT MY GIRL PREGNANT I WOULD SUPPORT HER IN EVERYWAT I COULD)
MAYBE IT IS BECAUSE YOU DO NOT FULLY SEE HOW MUCH LOVE YOU CAN GIVE YOUR OWN CREATION
AND I HAVE BEEN TOLD THEY MAKE YOU PROUD EVERY DAY (I SAY THIS BECAUSE YOU HAVE CLEARLY NOT HAD A KID YET AND MY MUM SAYS SHE IS PROUD OF ME FOR SOME REASON)
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND
I AM A GUY (WELL I WAS THE LAST TIME I LOOKED xp )
AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW PAINFUL IT IS TO GIVE BIRTH
ALL I CAN IMAGINE IT TO IS.........
LIKE DOING A REALLY REALLY BIG s**t THROUGH MY PEE HOLE...........
OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!
MAYBE YOU ARE RIGHT ON THE OVER POPULATION THING
AND IF WE ALL WERE TO GIVE BIRTH THE POPULATION WOULD EXPAND EVEN FASTER
BECAUSE PEOEPLE ARE LIVING OLDER AND TAKING UP MORE SPACE AND RESORSES
BUT I HAVE ONLY READ THE TOP POST ON THIS SO NO DOUBT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY SAID WHAT I HAVE SAUD
AND I HAVE OVERTYPED AGAIN
SO I AM JUST GOING TO SUBMIT xp
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Posted: Fri Jun 10, 2005 4:07 am
HollyWog I don't think it's selfish not to want kids. Some people just don't. I think it's selfish to have kids knowing that you don't want or can't support them. At least you realize what you want before you're pregnant. At the same time, I see so many people who base so much of their decision of having a kid on this fear that the child will grow up to hate you. I have to say...I've had a pretty rough life (been through 3 families, 2 of which were abusive) and I don't hate anyone, even those that hurt me. Most of my friends have had rough times with their parents and certainly they're hurt and angry but they don't hate their parents either. I think it's pretty rare for a child to really grow up to hate their parents. smile I AGREE WITH YOU ON YOUR FIRST PARAGRAPH BUT I HATE MY MUM I DO NOT HATE MY DAD BECAUSE I DO NOT KNOW HIM WELL I USED TO HATE MY MUM UNTIL I GOT MY OWN BACK BUT TRUST ME IT WAS TRUE HATE A CONSTANT BURNING ANGER TOWARDS HER
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Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2005 3:59 pm
Hey, here's a thought. It's ******** ridiculous that you should feel badly for making a descion about what to do with your own body.
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Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2005 10:03 pm
I myself, never want children. I don't like them. I never babysat as a teen. I don't ever forsee motherhood as a part of my life. This doesn't make me a bad person. Better me not having kids and being a happy person than hating my life and being a bad mother to those children.
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Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 12:22 am
you aren't selfish; having kids is just not for some people. its better to want the kid and take good care of it then to not want it and neglect it. or resent it.
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Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 4:27 am
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Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 12:30 pm
It's not selfish at all. It's YOUR body, it's YOUR life. If you don't want to have a child then it's your decision more then it will ever be anyone else's. What that says to me is not that you're being selfish, but you're very clear that you have other priorities and don't want to put your body through such a thing. I see nothing wrong with it, hell, for all you know you might change your mind one day, but the fact remains that right now this is how you feel and you're more then allowed to feel that way.
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 4:58 pm
There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids. At least you're thinking about it beforehand. It's not like it's set in stone that you said you don't want any so you can never ever have any rolleyes You could change your mind. either way it's you're choice and no one has the right to pressure your opinion, especially when innocent lives are involved. Personally, I'm split. I;m really paranoid about all the things that could go wrong but yet I love the idea of having a bond like that with someone heart I'll just worry about it when it happens.
EDIT:Make sure if you ever get involved with someone you talk about this issue because it's very important in a longterm relationship 3nodding
There's my public announcement for today.
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Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2005 6:33 pm
Wait a second... selfish for wanting to care for an otherwise unwanted child instead of just obeying your instincts to further your own genetic line?
No. Sorry. Whoever called you that needs a good bonk on the head.
I'm having a debate with that myself, actually. I want to have something that really is my fiance's and my own. I want to have a child created of us. But I have been thinking, lately, that there really are just so many children who need a good home. I just don't know if it's fair of my to bring one more mouth to feed into the world rather than taking in one already here.
It's a really hard decision to make. Thankfully, we still have quite a few years to make our minds.
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Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 5:27 pm
I wouldnt say its selfish. I see no way it is.
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