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Well, that's what I mean. That the behavior might be conflicting with what an actual white wolf is like.

Well, Lycurgus prevents no threat for one. There would be no reason for her to attack him or be hostile in his wounded state. Two, he does not treat her like a pet but as a friend. Three, since he does have quite a bit of wolf like traits himself, he probably presents himself more as a wolf to her and what they do in the woods probably relates to that. This is probably why she is accepting of him. Four, it is said in the backstory it took a while to build up a trust which was solved by him playing it submissive.

It also plays on the idea that at least on a spiritual level Lycurgus is more than just human and that's why she wasn't hostile towards him to begin with. Also, this is RPG we are talking about here and not every single aspect is going to be totally believable or grounded in reality.

But anyway, does that help explain/clarify certain areas? Or would you advise a slight rewrite? If so, what would you suggest. I only ask so I completely understand everyone's perspective.

Well, consider Lycurgus is a wolf fanatic and has been studying them since he was a kid, he would obviously be very aware of canine behavioral traits. And as such, he would put them to use in such a situation. I guess it wasn't implied enough.

Well, I guess I should make that part clear in the backstory then.
EDIT: I have defined those aspects much more in the background. Check out the backstory where Lyall comes into play. Let me know what you think.

Note, you did say believable as possible. I have been doing so (or trying to anyhow). I'm just saying not every little aspect is going to be entirely believable.

Ok, I'll try to keep this short and simple.

He's usually the one who reaches out to someone if he wants to engaged socially. Other times he's just very silent and stays reserved. It also depends on his mood. If he's in the mood to seek the company of others, he will. If he wants some alone time, he will keep to himself and usually avoid contact from others. So, he's a combo of the two really. It also plays into the duality theme he has about him.

How is this possible you might ask? To be both social and reserved at once?

I use to do that myself when I was in school. wink

Ok, it appears people are STILL voting on the polls and not giving the feedback to support it. Apparently I have not made it clear enough that critiques are expected to go with the votes. I've already painted a huge blatant picture for you all with the "Attention" message and putting "Provide explanation below" next to the poll choices. What more do you need? Really... rolleyes

Anyhow, the point of the matter is come out with your opinion. It can only help me improve the character or I can help you better understand the aspects you don't quite get. But like said, I can't do jack**** about any of it unless you come out and say something.

If you're going to vote, back it up.

Thank you, and that is all.

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Special Thanks To:

The only one to actually speak out about anything so far was Branwan Bywater which I thank her very much for. For that, I have a lot of respect for her. Not to mention she helped point out certain aspects I forgot to tackle in the backstory.

Only if you are familiar with the meaning of names like you and I. Most people in general would not guess it. Personally, I think it's a matter taste, wouldn't you agree?

Plus, perhaps it's why his parents are so welcoming of his personality and behavior as a kid. Maybe they helped influence his love of wolves.



Hmmmmm, where to begin here. So the whole idea if he was conscious at the time or not is what is troubling you the most? That's what I am getting from you precisely.

I do also sense that you think he was accepted right away. However, if you read over the history once more, it is made clear that she did not adopt him quickly at all. He had to work at building up a trust over a period of months. The only thing she really did was lick his head wound on the first encounter. But if that troubles you, I can change it to where he was conscious when it happens to appease that aspect so he could have presented himself a certain way.



Alright. Easily fixed. I'll just change it to a normal timber wolf. Problem solved. Thank you.



Ok, they're going to see a kid who dresses in dark clothing at nighttime? Now who's being unrealistic here. razz

If he was just dashing by during the time of the bullet fire and had his back/side to them, they wouldn't have seen him that easily. It's dark and he was in clothes that would practically make it hard for him to stand out. Not to mention, sometimes you get caught up in the heat of the moment and don't notice certain things right away. Not until it's over.

Also, if you read the history more carefully, they didn't just LEAVE them there. When they went over to collect the corpse of the wolf, they found him then. And if you noticed, they were shocked to find they shot a boy and were about ready to get him out of there when he attacked them in retaliation. Something tells me you skimmed more than you fully read.



Uhm... Who the hell said anything about clinical lycanthropy? I sure didn't. All I said is he got feral. He does not think he's a werewolf. And yes, they do still use electro shock therapy these days. Who are you kidding? It might be different but it is still used.

Also, I did not say anything about using the feral disorder as a plot convenience at all. It just doesn't go WHAM! That's cluster headaches that do that my dear. The feral behavior is provoked by stress and when he gets agitated.

Plus, who said he functioned well in society? He gives the illusion he does, yes. But in reality he really isn't. He's trying his hardest to keep himself of sound mind but it's definitely not an easy feat. I guess this will have to be another aspect I need to capitalize upon more since it wasn't implied enough.



Who said it WAS a laughing matter? Now you're taking it far out of context. It was not put in as some sick joke you know. Besides, I didn't say he was raised on it, now did I? He just likes to have it once in a while. It's not like he has it constantly or was raised on it like a feral child. He's only had a feral spell remember. He was NOT raised feral. Comprende?



And dragons, transgender, multiple heads and limbs, etc is realistic, right? wink xp

No true offense taken. However, it seems you just skimmed over some areas very much. A couple things you did have valid points on, that I will give you. However, you seemed ignorant to certain details and took other things out of context. Truly, the only thing "fairy tale" about him is he got close to a wolf which IS possible. Not saying it's easy or anything as it is not. And the backstory does acknowledge this too.

Anyway, the only two things I took from this is don't make Lyall a white wolf, have Lycurgus possibly conscious when she first appears, make it more obvious he doesn't have clinical lycanthropy, and that he is not as adjusted to society as he presents himself to be (since it wasn't obvious enough).

Now, if you do have further critiques or suggestions, feel free to send them my way. If you think I can improve a certain aspect more, tell me what you think I can do to improve it. But next time, please read a little closer.

I didn't skim. And please don't insult me by treating me like I'm stupid o_O
I didn't crit this character for my own health or perverse pleasure.

And no, I don't agree that the name you chose is a matter of taste. But that's ok.

And no, the whole idea of him being conscious or not is not what's bugging me. If I got shot in the jungle (for example), a wolf would not come and lick my wounds lovingly. Maybe to taste my carcass for later consumption, but not the way you described it. It doesn't happen. Normally. Hence the "fantasy".

Hunters who hunt at night use nightvision goggles. They do not blindly fire into the night or they might shoot EACHOTHER.

Electroshock therapy is used, as I said. But it is much different. I think you should consider doing some better research on the topic.
As for his "feral" spells, Clinical lycanthropy is believing oneself to be an animal, wolf or not. Perhaps what I was saying is that its not as easily recovered from as you insinuated in his past. He sounds pretty socially successful to me, compared to a snarling guy crawling on all fours. (which are the medical symptoms, fyi)

Raw meat is not a snack. Try it sometime, you'll puke. Your body's not made to digest it. Rare is believable, raw is not. As for the "laughing matter" comment, it was to show that consuming raw meat isn't like saying "I think I'll have Taco Bell today." You HAVE to have a stomach used to it.

Transgender is not mythical. Its a chemical sex change. Multiple heads and limbs are actually quite easy to make. o_O You just hafta tell the body to grow more of what it already has.

If you're going to get crit? Make sure you take it with a grain of salt. Not everyone's gonna say what you want them to say and personally, you jumping down my throat for my educated opinion is not appreciated.