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 Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 12:07 pm
It actually depends, for example, a 14 year old female with an 18 year old male, dosent seem to work well, why? well lets see, the 18yr old guy is more smart and mature than the 14yr old girl, he can simply get her into drugs sex, much more stuff. Now in you case, you have to make sure your boyfriend dosent tell you or asks you to do things you are not supposed to. Remember that he can be simply cheat on you. Just be carefull, and age dosent really matter as long as that person is a good person.
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 8:49 pm
~!dark_and_hallow!~ It actually depends, for example, a 14 year old female with an 18 year old male, dosent seem to work well, why? well lets see, the 18yr old guy is more smart and mature than the 14yr old girl, he can simply get her into drugs sex, much more stuff. Now in you case, you have to make sure your boyfriend dosent tell you or asks you to do things you are not supposed to. Remember that he can be simply cheat on you. Just be carefull, and age dosent really matter as long as that person is a good person. Actually, legally it does matter, and can in some situations.
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Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 11:41 am
I have to agree with statutory rape honestly. See, it's very easy for someone older, and more experienced to take advantage of someone much younger than them. For example, a 20 year old can easily preasure a 14 year old into doing something the 14 year old either doesn't really want to or only THINKS they want to do; because the 14 year old is much too young to process what's really going on even if they feel uncomfortable. I'm not saying that ever single fourteen year old out there is stupid or anything, but generally someone so young doesn't really know what they want.
Another thing is that someone who is not yet an adult, and thusly not fully developed mentally or emotionally, can easily be convinced that it's "Okay" to have sex with the older person for whatever reasons that seem logical. Now, I'm not going to bash your relationship with someone older than you, it isn't my place. However, if you both really did love each other, then statutory rape wouldn't be an issue for you, because you both would be alright with waiting until you were no longer..well..jailbait.
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Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 12:21 pm
myk17 its ok...
my boyfriend is 24 and im just 15.. the only good thing there is that we dont involve sex in our relationship.. i was raped once, i was 14 and the guy was 21.. acquaintance rape, or should we say statutory rape.. i tried to forget about it.. found someone who respected me.. Acquaintance rape is not the same as statutory rape. Acquaintance rape is one form of forcible rape involving one unwilling person. Statutory rape involves willing people, but one is underage. I like the statutory rape laws. I find that in most cases, the people who do not like the laws do not understand them. They dislike the law because they think that it says something that it does not. I have heard many many people say that the law is stupid because "What if the two are only one month apart, and they are both 17, and then one turns 18? Then it will be illegal, and that's just stupid." As many other people have pointed out, however, that's not what the law says at all. The two people have to be more than four years apart. Four years does not make much of difference when one is an adult, but as a child or teen, it can make a huge difference. 14 and 18 is a good example. When I was 14, I was starting high school. When I was 18, I finished my first year of college. It's only four years, but at the same time, what would my 14 year old self have in common with my 18 year old self? Not much I would hope.
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Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 12:25 pm
~!dark_and_hallow!~ It actually depends, for example, a 14 year old female with an 18 year old male, dosent seem to work well, why? well lets see, the 18yr old guy is more smart and mature than the 14yr old girl, he can simply get her into drugs sex, much more stuff. Now in you case, you have to make sure your boyfriend dosent tell you or asks you to do things you are not supposed to. Remember that he can be simply cheat on you. Just be carefull, and age dosent really matter as long as that person is a good person. That's a pretty big generalization. Just because the boy is older that does not mean he is into drugs or sex or that he will try to talk anyone into anything. In fact, it could even work the other way around. The 14 year old could even get him into drugs. People are very different. Assuming he is into drugs just because he is older is illogical. Also, people cheat at all ages. There is never a certainty that any one of us will not be cheated on, no matter our sex, our age, or the age of our partner.
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Posted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 3:21 pm
I believ you can date whatever age you want, the law should not be involved in your dating, sexual, etc life. I ,mean yeah, it is weiered for like a 20 year old to go out with like a 30 year old and stuff, but if it makes them happy thats all that counts. I however, wouldn't date a girl over or under three years of my age, but thats what my limit ranged is.
Especially if its ok with both sides of the family. Sometimes the law can be very dumb and should be altered.
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Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 12:57 pm
I agree. I firmly believe that things like sexuality and who you can date is NOT something the government should stick their big bulbous noses into. That should be left up to the couple and the couples' family. I mean, I understand what almost all of you guys are talking about, but I personally had a relationship where the guy was 5 yrs. older than me. Honestly I couldn't care less as long as the person is a good person. So all I have to say is Tread Softly. 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 5:33 pm
the law is there because they think that older men pressure younger women.. and i guess they do.. but people will continue to do it... the only difference is that men will get imprisoned for rape when people figure it out. I for one think its rediculous... 4 years really isnt a whole lot different... and even if it is your old enough to know what to do.
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Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 3:25 am
The law is there to protect people who do not know better.
Yes, age is only a number and a 15 year old can be more mature than a 25 year old, I'll admit, but all the same, the 15 year old can be naive and easily manipulated. 15 year olds don't know everything, depsite what they seem to think. They simply haven't been around long enough.
And before you can say it, those three years DO make a difference.
How?
Well, alot can happen in three years. The news will report many, many rapes, molestations, murders, and kidnappings in those three years, making that person understand that the world isn't as nice as they think.
I'll agree, there are alot of people who are into 'tougher times' than a few years ago. Alot of familes are in trouble and all kinds of things are happening more often than ever heard of. So yes, that 15 year old may understand how the world works but that's just one 15 year old out of many. And not all of them will realize that those things the news will report could happen to them.
I never thought I would be a rape victim but it happened. I was 15, went to a party, started talking with this older guy(can't remember his exact age but 18-21 for sure)and he took complete advantage over me.
I didn't think that would happen to me. I always thought that it was a rape victim's fault(I didn't exactly know much before I was 15 so please, don't flame me for that, I didn't watch the news as a kid)but then it happened to me. I understood the world was not the sunshine and daisies as I thought it was.
Being in a relationship that has a large age difference(any more than 4-5 years)can be harmful in many ways.
I've already mentioned how you could be taken advantage of. You may not think that it will happen to you but believe me, if you are being manipulated in any way, you will automatically deny it because you'll mistake it as 'he cares about me and our relationship so he protects us from my family because they won't understand', which isn't true most times. Yes, they won't understand but he's 'protecting' himself, not you.
In Minnesota, the legal age of consent is 16. A 16 year old may have sex with anyone three or four(can't remember exactly)years older than her/him. No more and no one younger.
So, a 16 year old dating a 25 year old is against the law in Minnesota. Now, that 25 year old may be a nice, sweet person and may actually love the 16 year old. For the sake of argument, we'll say that the 25 year old has completely pure intentions reguarding a sexual relationship, that is to say, no sex that is forced.
So, one day while they are at the 25 year old's house, the 16 year old decides he/she is ready to have sex. So they do. And the 25 year old gets busted.
He/she may not have forced the 16 year old but according to the laws, they did. So, the 25 year old will probably go to jail and will be labed as a sex offender and child molestor for the rest of his/her life.
I don't ever want this law to change. It protects you, even if you don't appreicate it, which it seems none of the kids now days appreciate how much people DO look out for them.
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 6:27 pm
I think it really depends on the situation.
For example: My boyfriend is 16. I turn 16 in 2 months. We have sex, even though we are essentially the same age, in the same grade in school, and about the same maturity level, if we get caught, my boyfriend goes to jail. However, I do believe there is a clause, as was stated previously, that would protect us. In my situation, I think the law is fairly stupid.
However, the law is more to protect minors, like 12-14/15 year olds(in my area, the age of consent is 16), from being taken advantage of by older people, like 19/20+ year olds. If you are dating someone that is more than a couple years older than you, then you should be extremely cautious and wait until you are legal and ready before you have sex, especially if your significant other is important to you. Otherwise, having sex can and will ruin their life if they get caught with you. In these situations, the law is incredibly intelligent.
And believe me, I am not just preaching to you about following the law and safe sex, etc. I was taken advantage of by one of my ex's. He was 2 years older than me, and I was 13/14/15 during the year and a half relationship. We never had sex, but he did use my inexperience to get gratification from me. And then he sexually assaulted me the week before I left him.
I am speaking to you from experience, and I beg you to be careful. The law is there for a reason.
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 8:22 pm
Rauvellana For example: My boyfriend is 16. I turn 16 in 2 months. We have sex, even though we are essentially the same age, in the same grade in school, and about the same maturity level, if we get caught, my boyfriend goes to jail. However, I do believe there is a clause, as was stated previously, that would protect us. In my situation, I think the law is fairly stupid. I just wanted to clear one thing up for readers because I know that a lot of people are confused about statutory rape laws. In my state, and I believe in many (maybe most) others, the two people have to be at least four years apart for it to be illegal. That means the law isn't stupid, and your boyfriend would not go to jail. It isn't exactly that a clause would protect you, as much as it is that if you two had sex, it wouldn't be illegal in the first place.
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Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 6:43 am
I think our laws are dumb in many ways, especially for this matter. Come on! If two lovers that are five years apart and one is under the legal age, just let them be. We should choose who we love, who we want and not care about age.
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Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 5:40 am
lunashock Nikolita Statutory rape is not bullshit because the laws are in place to protect minors - in this case, you. If you are caught having sex with your boyfriend, he can go to jail. So this means that he might go to jail, he might be labeled as a child molestor for the rest of his life, etc. It has serious, serious consequences that you obviously haven't considered. Getting in trouble iwth the law would affect his family, his future career, what kind of job he can get, etc. It would be advisable to wait until you're of legal age to have sex with someone older, unless you want to risk getting caught and him getting in legal trouble. Agreed. It's incredibly stupid and naive to pishposh age as just a number. If love really matters, then looking and acknowledging the law is part of that. My husband and I are 6 years apart, but I would be disgusted and I would be ashamed of my son if he was 18 dating a 12 year old. I second that!
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