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 Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 9:59 am
"I think, two days. I just keep working, and then I have a cot in here..."
Not that he had slept much at all. Maybe an hour or two for two days - not exactly the healthiest thing to do.
"I didn't want to go back to my apartment, chance running into..."
He broke off there, Natalie's concern for him bring back up emotions when he had begun feeling dullened. As if, because of too much emotion battering at him, the emotion itself had been worn out. But the way he felt as Natalie spoke, well - that just proved that it hadn't.
He really wished it had.
"I..I don't know. I ruined things this time, I don't think anyone can do anything to change it."
He wasn't crying. Hadrian had cried so long after it initially happened, that he was almost too tired to cry now. But not crying...well, his voice and expression were just as bad. Broken hearted.
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 10:07 am
Natalie felt her own recent heartbreak resonate. And though Hadrian hadn't mentioned a significant other or heart break, she knew that that was what it was. She knew. But it wasn't the same, no - she hadn't had (from what she could tell) a devoted lover who she'd messed things up with.
And that had to be worse than betrayal.
She rose up on her knees, embracing Hadrian gingerly. He hadn't pulled away from her touch earlier, but the hug might be too much. She knew that. Or it'd be just what he needed.
Sometimes, she wished she had more experience in things like this. Then she'd know what to do.
"I can't believe that you could do something that terrible," she said at last. "Not if you loved somebody. You're not that sort of person. What happened...? Did something get in between the two of you?"
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 10:18 am
For a moment, Hadrian stiffened. And while he didn't respond to the hug, he eventually did relax, and rested his forehead on her shoulder. And then as she spoke, he pulled back, letting out a bitter laugh as he did so.
"Yes, you could say that."
He rubbed at his eyes, giving a quiet sigh. "The last thing I wanted was to hurt Marc, but...well. Sometimes, things don't happen as planned."
Natalie knew Thorn.
"I...I cheated on him. Twice. The first time I was drunk, the second time - I could have stopped it."
"But I didn't."
Cryptic. It was a strange way of phrasing it, the second thing spoken. These cryptic words, it was like a compromise between the part of him that wanted to talk, and the part that wanted to keep silent.
Except that neither sides were happy. And Natalie was bound to want to know more.
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 10:23 am
And she did. "Oh, trust me - I know how quickly things can get screwed up in relationships." A slightly bitter laugh. But... no, back to Hadrian.
"With who? You don't let your guard down easily..." Well, except when drunk. But she'd ignore that for now. She rested her cheek on the top of his head, giving him a squeeze.
"How could you have stopped it, the second time? I... well... with Michael, that one night, I was barely able to stop him. And that was only because he listened when I yelled at him to leave. If whoever you were with..."
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 10:30 am
"It was the same person both times. And I didn't fight, Natalie - I said no, but I didn't fight. I could have stopped it if I had."
And the first time - well, that should have clued him in to be more careful around Thorn. And for a while it did. But...well, the man got him alone and look what happened.
"You...there's a reason why I told you to be careful around Thorn. A reason why I know he can't be trusted."
Bleakly spoken words, but they told her exactly who it had been. The reason why Thorn couldn't be trusted - well, considering what he had done with Hadrian, it made sense.
If he couldn't keep his hands to himself around a man already in a committed relationship, then he'd hardly do so around a young girl without one.
Well. Ex-committed relationship.
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 10:33 am
Thorn.
She gave a strangled yelp and fell back, letting go of Hadrian and covering her mouth with her hands.
Thorn.
Thorn, who was coming over on Friday. Thorn, who everybody had warned her about... and this was why. This was why.
"Oh god..." she whispered, burying her face in her hands. "Oh god. He's... he's coming over Friday," she said, helplessly, shivering. "I... I'm breaking it off with him. I am. Completely. Now that I know... that I know..."
Well, now that she had concrete proof.
"I'm so sorry..."
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 10:43 am
Well...at least Natalie wouldn't be as easily hurt by Thorn, now.
"...I'm glad."
And he was. Because at least it meant she wasn't going to get screwed over by Thorn, even if he hadn't been able to avoid that. But even with the reassurance that Natalie was going to be fine then, it didn't exactly lighten his mood.
Resting his face in his hand (though most would call it hiding), he spoke up, his voice sounding strained,
"Don't be. It's my fault that he even met you, since he didn't start coming around the compound till after he met me."
The business party. Thorn had started coming around after that - and obviously encountered Natalie in the process. Who would have known that one night could screw up three people? Him, Marc, and then it was almost on the verge of Natalie as well.
Hadrian seemed - remarkably calm. But it was more that he was depressed then anything else. As if he'd given up, and strong emotions didn't seem to make much sense. Well, except for the negetive ones.
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 7:10 pm
She reached out to touch him again, quietly, on the shoulder.
"No. I'm sorry about what's happened to you - not me. I can... I can take care of myself." I think. "But... I... I'm worried about you. Can I get you anything? Food? I can't bear to see you like this...
"Please, tell me some way I can help."
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 7:27 pm
Hadrian managed a smile towards Natalie - which while obviously forced, at least he could smile, "..I should probably eat something. I haven't eaten too much, and I can't cook..."
It was odd. Lately, he'd begun to rely on Marc's meals - those things the man just heated up and were ready - rather then anything else, to eat. And so his own kitchen had grown slightly more bare...featuring mainly Marc's booze and some tv dinners.
And of course, all he'd eaten recently were things like chips, or other such snack-machine type foods.
He wasn't hungry. But...he should eat. He knew he should.
He just hadn't felt like going and getting real food.
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 7:30 pm
"I can bring you some food. Home cooked, if you want, or just a stock of sandwiches.
"Have any preferences?" She managed a smile, too, laughing a little. Such a mundane question in the face of Hadrian locking himself away again. "If... if you come back to my apartment, you can eat there. Get a bit of fresh air without having to see him again. And then, if you still want, you can come back.
"Would that work?"
Was this what being a mother would be like? Caring for her child like this, helping her through hardships? She hoped her child never had to face something like this.
Then again, the sins of the mother...
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 7:40 pm
It was on the tip of his tongue to refuse, to just ask that she bring something by, when he paused to consider it. Hadrian hadn't been outside in two days.
And surely he wouldn't run into Marc at Natalie's - she was in one of the other buildings.
So, he gave a slow nod, "...maybe I should. Get out of here, I here."
Hadrian had a feeling he'd be avoiding his apartment for a while. Even just the thought of running into Marc on the stairwell - it hurt too much. To see him, see his eyes darken with anger or betrayel -
He didn't want to see that again.
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 7:43 pm
Natalie's smile brightened, turning genuine. She rose to her feet and held out her hands. "Come on, then. I'll make us pasta or something. It will be fun. And if you want, we can talk more. If not, then we can be silent or listen to music or something."
This was a good sign. He trusted her enough to let her lead him out of this dark hole he'd dragged himself to.
Maybe, in time, he'd heal. She hoped so. Because if he could, so could she.
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 8:02 pm
Hadrian rose to his feet, and joined Natalie. He wasn't sure if he wanted to talk or just have company - or if he even did want company.
But...well, it was obvious that hiding away hadn't done anything for him. He'd been brooding the whole time, just allowing his thoughts to chase him in circles...maybe he just needed something to distract him, like his work hadn't been able to.
If nothing else, maybe Natalie still had some of that alcohol left over from when he and Dacian had stayed over. It may have been what had started the mess, but at the moment, he'd welcome the sort of mood he was always in when drunk.
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 8:11 pm
A short walk brought them back to Natalie's apartment, which was considerably cleaner than he'd last seen it.
"Oh. This is probably a terrible time to ask," Natalie said, leading him in and ushering him over to the couch, "but... er... do you need help with paperwork? As a job?" She smiled a little, feebly, and looked around her fridge. Hm. Well, there was beer. She put it on the counter where he could take it if he wanted it.
"I saw all the stacks... and even working yourself to the bone like this, you haven't made much of a dent in it. When... when things... settle down..." She shrugged.
"... Oh, forget it. Forget I mentioned it. Bad timing, I know. I just... mm. Trying to make conversation, I guess." Fetching some noodles, she put some water on to boil.
Stupid, stupid airheaded Natalie. Sure, make the man think about work and administrative details. Sure. Do that when it seemed he most needed some kind of comfort, some friendly hand. Smooth. Real smooth. She sighed, waiting for the water to begin to bubble.
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 8:21 pm
Hadrian paused, before managing to make his false smile a bit more real. Help with his paperwork? That would be nice. Though...it was bittersweet now, since he wouldn't be spending that free time with Marc.
"Actually, I had planned on finding someone to help with the paperwork..."
It seemed pointless, now. It would give him more free time, but...what was the point of having more free time now?
"So...I'll have to figure out the salary and specifics, but if you want the job, you can have it."
Still. Natalie wanted it...who was he to deny it?
Taking the beer, Hadrian took a sip of it. Maybe it wasn't a good idea for him to get drunk - but he didn't care. Right now, he'd welcome it.
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