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 Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 5:08 pm
My Wonderland
I wish I could run away,
To a world that is exicting each day.
Where the sky is green,
And the grass is blue and serene.
Where I can have tea with the flowers,
And talk to a catipillar with magical powers.
Play games with a set of siamese twins,
Letting them have all the wins.
Celebrating unbirthdays with the Hatter,
Meeting life-like cards who are worn and tattered.
Chasing a purple and pink cat,
Impressing a queen on a long red mat.
Soon this world begins to fade,
As I return to reality with my maids.
Now I walk with my cat along the sand,
Waiting to return to my Wonderland.
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Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 3:20 pm
Push the Pain Aside
Help me help myself.
Take me from this place they call hell.
Hold me high, so my hands touch the sky.
Tug at my hair to get my attention.
Hang tight 'til I decide.
My heart breaks with every word I don't say.
My head cracks everytime I deny myself.
My body aches even after the medication.
I write it down then scribble it out,
Hoping it'll leave my mind.
Hoping I will forget.
I soon let it dig its way back to me.
Hope is all I have left. . .
So I hope it comes out soon,
Just to take away the pain.
Diane "Lil' D" Lee
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Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 3:32 pm
Just hold your hand up
Let my fingers weave with yours
I'll cradle you safe in my arms
Listen to my heartbeat
Get lost in the comfort
Let my own warmth be yours
As I exchange your pain for my smile
My body accepting your aching
My head splitting from your Hell
My heart full from being your haven.
Now that you're clinging to me
That your eyes are lost in mines
I'll lift you on my shoulders, to Heaven
I'll be your pillar down from Hell
I'll take your pain as mine
Take Your Pain As Mine
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Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2004 4:03 pm
They’re all on the same boat now:
Noah’s ark, on an endless sea.
If they ever land, what will they be?
We’ll know when the keel scrapes on the rocks.
The world as we know it fits in a box-
Obviously, the box isn’t big enough.
A little 12 year old girl:
At school, abused by her peers.
Little they say, but all she hears;
So when the parents are in bed,
Steam seeps from the bathroom, and the sink is red;
She has Artwork on her wrists.
Standing over his love,
Stood a man, blood on his hands
he gave himself up, for no more could he stand,
(in the back of his mind nagged his guilt, an itch)
“look where she’s left me now, the b***h”
and the cage doors closed behind him.
Kneeling at the altar,
(a priest, and pious, too)
he asked his deity, “where are you?”
of an answer, he got none;
so he laid down money for a gun-
and left his brains on the chapel floor.
A faithful husband at the dining room table;
Waiting for his wife to get home;
finally, the news, delivered by officer Pome:
She died in the bed of another man.
On and on, the tears ran…
Until there were no more left in his heart.
Standing in the forest-
Prestigious allied general McSlate:
Had to decide for forty enemies’ fate.
He lined them up in a row, cries did they stifle-
When the general’s men each shot with their rifle.
Ashes to ashes, they all fell down.
So we’re all in the same boat now-
Noah’s ark, on a sea of flames;
Each destined to further our own aims.
“Go forth, multiply” little did he know:
Seeds of despair, we all will sow…
Until the asylum door closes behind us.
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Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2004 8:17 pm
Toybox «You -have- to see it! She said. That place is A-W-E-S-O-M-E, she said. I've never been in, only looked at the windeow, but they all look so life-like! - Why should I go there? I asked in answer. --Why? C'mon, Joel, just look around you.» Upon looking, I only sighed. Valery was right. The small room, my room, would've been any young child's dream. A paradise of plushies, dolls, little wood carvings, characters of all shapes and all forms looking at us with their small, numerous beady eyes in a rainbow of plush. From pint sized rag dolls to a 1:1 scaled monkey, I had them all. They were my friends. I spent my afternoon playing with them, and talking to them, and they understood and answered. Unlike everyone else. They'd all pick on me, throw rocks and food, talk in my back and in my face. Thing's I'd rather not hear, things no one should ever have to listen to. Even Valery was mean to him sometimes. But not the toys. So I got to my feet and walked out of my room, without even letting her finish. My curiosity had been piqued, and I needed to know, now. raindrops Once I stopped talking, Joel was already gone. I never noticed he even had left. The kid had always been quieter than the wind, grayer than the clouds they carried. It always made me sad to see him, and this place. The room should've been happy. It was bright, colorful, in nice colors with a soft pink ambiance. Yet, there was always the steelblue kid sitting crosslegged in the middle of it, his pale gray eyes gazing blankly at a rag doll in his hand while he combs her wool hair, speaking softly, that would break anyone's heart in pieces. How could so much sadness be concentrated in the same person, without him breaking up? Joel didn't even seem to notice how gray he was, how lacking anything but an ever tired look as he zombies sleepily through an empty life. He was the clouds covering the sun, a soothing yet depressing rain. I've always loved Joel. I've always wanted him to be happier, and his puppets and toys and plushes seemed to do that. That's why I came here as soon as I saw those toys. They were ... different ... somehow, they looked alive, as if they weren't lifeless materials pput together, but a soul, a heart, a mind and a body sewed in a new being. A last look around, just enough to get my smile back now that Joel was out and the room was happy again, and I got to my feet to leave. Only, something caught my eyes As I stepped out the door, something caught my eye. A color that wasn't soft, a spot that wasn't pale and pastel. I turned around and kneeled, exactly where Joel was sitting, and saw five of them. Five drops of blood on the carpet. My body froze, my mind rushed. How can one be happy, yet so gray? Possibilities were adding up one after another, each darker, sadder than the one before, until I fainted. crimson concrete Rain started pouring. Rain wasn't good. Humidity and cold made my lungs even more. Tuberculosis, I think it was the name. If I spent too much time in the rain, I'd cough up even more blood. At that moment, when the rain stopped falling and started flooding instead, I should've turned around and went back inside. I should have, but I didn't want to. I wanted to see those new dolls. My new friends, that I could hug, that I could play with without problems. Without risking contaminating, and killing. I didn't want to be a murderer, not again. Up to now, no one had noticed that both my parents were dead. No one seemed to miss them, and Valery was the only one asking. "How come I've never met your parents?" she asked more than once. I always found an excuse. She doesn't even know I'm sick. No one does, except my friends. I cough once more. When no one was around, I wasn't afraid of coughing. It hurt a lot, like I was coughing my lungs out, which is kinda what I was doing. It hurt, but I went on. I started running, and coughed even more. I'd spit the blood out, and cough some more, and spit again, and wipe my mouth, and go on running. Then I fell down to the concrete, scratched my knees and wrists, bled, coughed. The world went black, faded out from view for a moment. Still, I got up, and the world went back to normal, so I started running again, until I saw the shop. alery told me it was at the end of the street, and there it was indeed. Nothing much, just a small boutique of brown bricks, made darker by the rain. A single window, with the most awesome of displays ever. Only three toys, but the most beautiful I ever saw were in Gavve's Workshop. Only, the coughing became too painful at that moment, and I blacked out completely. Lifelike I heard a sound outside. Nothing big, the faint thud of something soft hitting something hard. I got up from my worktable, where a small girl doll was waiting for her arms, and walked to the botique to see if anyone entered. No one did. Still, my curiosity was piqued, and I went on outside. What I saw shocked me deeply, and I'll never forget that sight. It was a boy, no more than seven years old, wearing a yellow t-shirt with a black star over his heart, and baggy jeans. His ruffled hair looked black from the rain, and his gray eyes were staring at the empty. I knew at that moment that the kid was dead. At the corner of his mouth was a trickle of blood, small hint of what could've happened. "poor child", I said. "Poor child, why did you die?" No, I wouldn't let him die. If a child breathed his last breath at my door, it was for a reason. I cradled it's small, empty frame in my arms and brought him inside, in my workshop, and put him carefully on the counter, as if sitting. I'd craft im a body. I'd sew him flesh, bones and skin, I'd shape a heart, I'd stuff it with a soul, and complete it with a mind. Through my work, I'd make the boy eternal, and he'd live happy with all my other puppets and dolls, who'd be his best friends.
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Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2004 7:29 pm
Don't Look
Behind this beautiful mask is a horrid face.
Behind these hugs and kisses is sadness and anger.
Behind the smiles are frowns.
Behind the twinkling eyes are burning infernos.
Behind the silent walls are growling pains.
Behind the smooth skin is rotting dust.
Behind my love is hatred.
See, I'm ugly on the inside too.
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Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2004 8:17 pm
Lets Pretend
Lets pretend just for a second,
That my world was happy.
Lets pretend I do it all.
Lets pretend my world had you in it.
I sit here keeping my arms crossed,
Watching everything around me.
I watch as my life crumbles,
Like the cookie the scouts sell.
I watch hoping things will fix themselves.
So I pretend things are right in place.
So I pretend that I'm safe.
So I pretend so it wont hurt as much.
So I pretend to keep you happy.
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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2004 11:32 am
Black flower, alone and lonely
Not dying, never living, forever empty
White flower, so many, pretty?
Never seen as a person, only part of many
Both beautiful, neither happy
Black flower met White flower
Oh so bright, oh so pretty
Oh so sad, oh so lonely
Each looking at the world with envy
All colors and none at once, happy
Opposite twins fitting perfectly
Like the flowers, I live in shades of gray
Because all lights of a rainbow melt in white
Because all hues mix together as black
My mystery, monochromed.
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Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2004 4:24 pm
Monster
Why do you stare?
When did you even care?
Why do you threaten me?
Does Darkness make you not able to see?
Why do you make me cry?
Do you want me to suffer and die?
Why were you made this way?
Does this make your day?
Is this what you're scared of?
When I make you trapped like a dove?
How am I suppose to face you?
How could you say "I love you Too"?
Is it cause I am not like them?
Do you point and laugh like your friend?
How could you be as cool as a gangster?
When really you are the monster?
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Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2004 12:07 pm
It doesnt take a lot to do a little
It doesnt take a little to do a lot
But next time you're feeling little
just remember, you're worth a lot. whee
(Doesnt rhyme properly, nor is it nearly as insightful as anything else here, but it managed to cheer me up whee )
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Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2004 2:39 pm
Forgotten
Locked away in a dark little room
Are all the feelings she once had.
For in it’s complete and utter gloom
Are joy, love, and all that’s glad.
Locked away in a dark little box
Are all the tears she’d once shed.
Forgotten behind countless locks,
Wrapped in a velvet swatch of red.
Locked away in her dark little heart
Are all the smiles she’d once shown.
Now they’re bound, never to depart;
Her and her Dark, they’re alone
Locked away in her dark little mind,
Chained in its very back,
Are all those she’d left behind-
Abandoned in favor of the Black.
Locked away in her dark little self
Is all who she used to be.
All that’s left is a dark little shell;
Never again to be free.
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Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2004 9:08 am
Invisible
I know that I can see you,
I often think you can see me too.
I scream at you hoping you can hear my cries,
But most of them only seem to die.
You don't seem to notice my emotions,
As my tears start to fill the oceans.
You pass me by everyday,
Ignoring me the same old way.
Mental chains hold me back,
I don't want want to admit that these are the facts.
All I do is shed many tears,
As I try to fight away all your fears.
I feel as though I am a ghost,
Or That I am hiding behind a large post.
I thought my heart was invincible,
But now I know I am only invisible.
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Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2004 8:14 pm
A poem forum! ths is wonderfull, I'v been looking for a good one for a while now.
(I apologise if my works have no rhyme I am a free lance poet and thus I am poor at rhyming schemes so I choose not to even bother.)
Bleeding mysery
Pains of anguish, thrown away.
Discarded like a broken toy.
Tears of crimson falling.
A red pool on the floor.
Slowly suffering, Dying.
Slowly bleeding, fading away.
Unwanted and left to die.
Forgotten and doomed to disappear.
No one wants to be forgotten.
No one tries to fade to nothing.
No one desires to be hated.
No one wishes to die.
Fading from memory.
Fading from life.
Falling from humanity.
Suffering, slowly suffering.
I am falling.
My wings are torn.
I am dying.
My soul is lost.
(Criticism is appreciated. *The exception of ones flaws is mearly a step to surpassing them.*
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Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2004 1:43 pm
Trouble on the Waves Edmund knelt on the creaking planks below him by the side of his tattered cot. His soft voice floated through the empty hold as he crunched the beads of his rosary through his hands. He rested his chin gently on his callused hands, as the tiny crucifix dangled from their hold. His exercise was cut short as the door to the hold was flung open and a steely eyed man with a ragged appearance stepped in. He gazed down at Edmund with the utmost ferocity . “What the hell do you think you’re doing, man?” he yelled with a twinge of amazement in his voice. “The storm clouds were spotted almost half past the hour, and you’re down here muttering your nonsense! Prayer is useless on a ship, sailor. The only thing that will get anything done is hard work. Now get on deck before I throw you overboard and let the godforsaken storm take you in.” Edmund sighed as he pocketed his sole possession and got to his feet. His knees ached with the pain of his prayer, and he walked slowly past the gaze of the captain. The man’s eyes never left his back as he continued laboriously up the stairs onto the main deck of the ship. Edmund’s eye’s turned to the sky and he noticed that the storm was right above them, and droplets of rain were beginning to patter onto the oaken floor. “Batten down the hatches and pull down those sails, you scoundrels! You’ll find soon that a storm on the sea is much more forgiving than I!” the Captain screamed from behind Edmund. His sonorous voice could be heard all over the vessel, and men familiar with his strictness scattered to their positions. Edmund made his way to the main mast and took up his usual post. With the help of one of his crew mates they began to haul on the ropes to pull down the largest billowing sail. The large white cloth pulled savagely, yearning to flow on the fingers of the roaring wind, yet the strong arms of the men below it held it at bay, pulling it back to it’s leather strapped prison. The same was done down the middle of the trader’s ship, the other two flapping sails brought down. The rain began to pick up, and in a matter of moments every man on deck has been soaked to the skin. “Sir!” shouted one of the sailors, running towards the Captain. “Some of the other men have seen an odd shape off the port side. The starboard as well!” The Captain raised a bushy eyebrow and made his to the side of his ship, pulling an eyeglass from within his cloak and looking through it at the blackened horizon. “It’s an English battleship, lad! We may make it through this storm yet.” he said with a small smile, lowering the telescope from his eye. “And what of the other shape, Captain?” asked the sailor in reply. The Captain sighed, muttering that it was probably nothing and his men were having delusions. He walked even slower to the other side of the deck, raising the eyeglass a second time, peering through it at the other odd shape. Lightning forked through the sky, and it lit everything around them for miles. He gasped at the sight of a flag sailing from a mast on what the Captain was observing. A French flag. The Captain brought down the eyeglass and folded it up with a large scowl on his face. “I don’t believe they are here to help us. And now that it is evident who is on this side, I fear that the ship on the other isn’t going to bother with us either.” the Captain muttered audibly. The men exchanged worried glances, and their leader paced between them, looking at the ships on either side of them many times and continuing to mutter to himself. He soon stopped and cleared his throat, looking around at everyone and opening his mouth to speak. “They will be within cannon firing distance in five minutes. With the urgency our Majesty is putting on defeating Napoleon, I doubt they will care if we are caught in the middle.” Several men grew solemn looks, as if they had all been condemned to an early grave. Others began to weep openly, collapsing to the wooden floor and pounding it with their fists in frustration. Edmund merely sighed and shook his head, turning his vision to the heavens as the rain poured down on him and lightning lit the skies. The black clouds loomed ominously above them as the waves began to rock their vessel violently. He looked up to see the large captain walking to him slowly, giving Edmund a level look, with a bit of concern flashing across his usually rock hard features. “Edmund.” he said as he reached the mans side. The Captain clapped a hand on his shoulder and looked down at the deck, rain splashing down on them violently as the first noise of cannon fire blasted in competition with a ferocious thunderclap. “Can you lead us all in a prayer?”
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Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2004 3:46 pm
Wanting to get away from this place, of all to lose the sense of fighting. Wanting more than anything to be alone in a time of silence and solitude. Wanting to be left alone on this day. Not wanting to be joyous, cheerful, or care of things like love. Not on this day, not of this one. It was this Rose was thinking as she stood still in a flower shop. Waiting in line for her turn. She only held one thing in her hand, nothing of great pride, just one single red rose, kissed with the darkest of red, darkest of blood. Her eyes kept themselves occupied by constantly glancing downward at the floor. Once her turn came in this queue she set the money down, already knowing the exact amount to pay. Leaving without a reseat, not that she needed it, made her way out of the shop. She held the rose softly and delicately in her left hand. On her right forearm rested a red cloak. But today she wasn’t dressed in clothing anyone here had seen her in. On her slender body warn of the presents of life, was a long narrow black dress, nothing much to make of it, just a dress. Her blond hair, not down, not today, but pulled back into a tight ponytail, which felt like her brain was being compressed to tight. The hairs on her head the ones that stick out in strands, single hairs, making it look at least alive to some attempt to have been moved. But her hair was slicked back wet like into the ponytail.
Her tender white hands weren’t covered, nothing upon them, but the blankness of her skin. Upon her face, no smile, no happiness, all was drained. Only such of a frown of ever lasting sadness, never to recede from her face. The sound of an unstrung song drummed out on the flooring as she walked. The black heels held nothing, her presents did, there was sound but no life in it. Making her way to the exit of the arena to escape all known life which was contained in it. Making her way into Gaia, and even then did not stop there, but kept on, making her way to where she first had come where most of her things were being stored. One of which her things she needed the most to make this place disappear for only a while. After her walk she stopped in front of a storage facility, pulling her key out of her hand bag and unlocking it. Setting her things on the ground so she could lift up the door. The room was filled with many things, though on the left side there was only one thing, which was cover in a large white sheet. Removing it, slowly as time stopped around her, as if unearthing something so scared, time lasted on taking forever it seemed just for her to remove it. Once so the sheet was removed was a black car, an old convertible thunderbird (1992). Getting her thing off the ground and placing them in the car, which the top was already down, she got in.
Just sitting there staring at the driving wheel, so many memories reeled through her head. With an unsteady hand and a heavy heart she started the car. Putting it in drive she pulled out. Not caring about her things she drove off, leaving the door to her storage open. Her blond hair fluttering in the wind as she drove made no difference to her. The car roaring on down a black barren road as she drove. The radio wasn’t on, just the silence of the wind. After 4 hours she reach where she needed to be. Turing off the car she got out grabbing her things, the cloak and the rose. She made her way up a barren landscape. After walking and walking. She slipped on the cloak, pulling on the hood. She stopped though at the edge of a cliff. Her hand held so delicately onto the rose in her hand. Watching a pair of birds fly by below her, a tear trickled down her face.
"May you rest in peace my dear love, rest with the sun's glow of life. May this rose bring me peace as I offer it to you.
She said in a soft whisper, tears and almost the sound of crying in her voice was present. She took in a deep breath extending her left hand out over the edge of the cliff. The sun was starting to set. With a tear falling down her face she let go of the rose. She didn’t watch it drop. Her eyes were closed, soaking back her tears. The rose fell, with complete beauty as it rocked back and forth as it fell. Like a feather, light enough to define gravity to a point.
"May we meet again in the after life my dearest friend."
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