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 Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 11:00 pm
...:: 8.17.06 ::...
She was adorable, this child who clung to him in abject adoration, the tiny girl who'd claimed him as her brother. So small, so fragile-- and so perfectly wonderful. She brought a smile to the darker boy's lips-- ah, this sweet child. She'd grow up to be such a heartbreaker with her midnight, consuming eyes stealing the soul and heart of anyone she tried to get. Who wouldn't love such a glorious child?
Nasir sighed as he sheathed his sword. Things moved quickly here, didn't they? Time passed further, each day more and more different than the life he'd become accustomed to at the Mansion. Less freedoms existed here in a world regulated by Raven. And yet, more new, delightful pleasures surfaced everyday. While the Mansion, was, without doubt, one of the most luxurious and lenient places to grow up, Raven's had presented Nasir with new opportunities he otherwise probably never would've considered.
For example, this strange idea of going out on his own to live by himself (or with someone else who shared similar... tastes) had never crossed his mind at the Mansion. Perhaps this was, in part, due to the absolute freedom and ease of living at the Mansion. While there were more rules to the Nest though, it made Nasir consider responsibility. If a girl as small as Raven could live on her own-- even take care of others!-- certainly Nasir could! The youth knew himself to be more than a little more capable than girls like Raven.
So now he found himself challenged to step outside this place and make his own mark. It really was the only logical next step. He'd begun the preliminaries, quietly sending out job applications and the like, but though Nasir knew he'd been subtle, somehow Raven discovered what he'd been up to as far as the plans to move out and all that implied since she'd been giving him tips on how to survive on his own. And mentioning if he did move out, he'd be free to call her up for anything he needed and he, of course, (as if it was natural and usual!) would recieve an allowance per month based on whatever budget presented itself.
Obviously, Raven was insane. And she had to be wealthy. There was no other explanation for her... genorosity. No one did anything for anyone else unless they had to or they were getting something out of it. Even Nasir's kindness towards his 'little sister' was fiercely useful as it gave the youth a sense of accomplishment. But Raven-- what would she get out of this? What possible satisfaction could she get out of dealing with a bunch of children? It didn't make any sense. And yet, Raven kept taking in more and more strays.
Nasir had to find his personal satisfaction, had to find something that made him whole. Now that he'd seen the possibilities, he felt the need to move on, keep looking. There needed to be a completeness. Something to finish him. It was difficult to explain, without having experienced it yet. But Nasir knew what he was looking for would call out when he found it. It would call and he would recognize it and be complete. Eventually.
For now he had to look further into himself. Part of him...
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Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 1:00 pm
...:: 9.19.06 ::...
The search was not going well. In fact, it was going especially poorly. Nasir didn't know why it was so difficult to find a job in this day and age, except perhaps that on Gaia few people actually wanted to work or do anything remotely useful, it seemed. As a result, those who wanted to work ended up searching for jobs which obviously didn't exist.
It made Nasir's blood boil.
Actually, what it really did was make him more and more frustrated at the whole mess. Something had to be done about it. He couldn't stay at the Nest forever-- he was too old, and the whole manor was rather... not crowded, but childish for someone like him. Raven was too nice, and most of the children were just that-- children. No one around for Nasir to really deal with.
Renjyo was cute, his little sister. But the girl also couldn't share most of Nasir's thoughts, given that she was less than half his age. The boy was bored-- more than bored, he was running out of patience with looking for a place to stay and a job to provide him with the means for such. Then again, he didn't want to give in and take Raven up on the offer of assistance...
Pride. Such a vicious thing, wasn't it? It made him realize how much he was lacking in certain areas-- pride drove him to madness because it meant he couldn't get where he wanted to because in order to get there, he'd have to sacrifice his pride.
A vicious cycle.
Perhaps he'd be able to figure this out, figure out what the details were before anything got too out of hand. He could stay at the Nest for a little while longer, wait until the perfect opportunity presented itself. After all, there were more things to do thatn sit around and get frustrated over that which he couldn't control.
Weren't there? He could go out, train, try to clear his mind of all the conflicting thoughts running rampant through his brain. At the very least, it would buy him a few hours of peace and quiet from his mind working on overdrive. Swordplay took all his thought-- no more for this strange delusion of need and want. Simply everything down to a thrust, a lunge...
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Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 11:03 pm
...:: 9.25.06 ::...
Hand in hand, lips on lips, hips moving in time with each other, thrusting in the flashing lights, vicious pounding bass in the background shaking your body, moving you closer to your partner for the moment. In the darkness, it doesn’t matter whether they’re pretty or ugly, whether they’re your next door neighbor or a complete stranger, it doesn’t matter-- nothing matters. Whether you’re a failure or an absolute success, none of it matters in the darkness, where everyone’s equal just for the moment.
After all, it didn’t matter to Nasir what happened afterwards. The ones who wanted to, who were pretty enough, they came back to the Nest, snuck into Nasir’s room without awakening anyone, and they ********. There was no making love-- nothing about love had anything to do with the carnal pleasures which went on behind closed doors. After all, this was simply a pastime, something to keep both partners’ attention away from whatever they were running from or whatever they were running to. A night.
By day, Nasir trained in swordsmanship and weaponry while he waited to hear back from places. By night, he went into these clubs, found anonymous boys who wanted a night of pleasure and nothing more. It made everything bearable. At first, of course, he’d thought to get through everything without someone else’s companionship, thought that he’d wait until he found the perfect prey-- he'd played so much when he was younger, he thought he’d gotten it out of his system.
And yet, with mounting stresses, Nasir found himself needing something to calm down, something to help him unwind at the end of another frustrating day of no success. If he had a lover, someone to share his experiences with, someone who would be there--
No. Not yet. Not until he was established, until he’d managed to make something of himself, until he actually had something to offer to his chosen. Then, and only then, could he hunt down his prey, bring them close and show them a world they’d never seen before. Because right now, all he needed, all he could give, was one night. One night at a time. A night which would mean nothing in the long run, a night of bodies meeting, carnality. Pain and pleasure laced together in a dance which surpassed any other, that instinctual movement. Nothing like what he imagined a real lover to be.
For now he would wait, live off the boys in the clubs, the boys whose soft flesh, sweet, needing cries sated his appetite for the moment, but only whetted his hunger for what would come eventually, the glory which would come in one perfect night when he finally claimed the boy he sought, the pretty blue eyes and the gorgeous smile, the mystery--
Someone not unlike himself, and yet different enough to make life interesting. Someone who would be able to make everything feel new. Someone with whom everything would be new.
It would surprise some to learn that Nasir was something of a romantic in that sense, needing to make everything right, make everything perfect. After all, he was the crazed brother at the Nest-- well, crazed in a wholly different way than Mekt was, at least. The only one in the whole family who seemed to be aware that sex existed. Not that most of them were old enough to realize or care, but still.
No, they wouldn’t believe he was a romantic. But he carried a sense within him that everything could be made right, could be made new, could be made perfect if there was someone to complete you, make you one. But for now... until the time was right...
“Want a smoke?” Nasir turned to the boy still curled around him, exhausted from their harsh play. At the boy’s-- ********, did he have a name? Damned if Nasir knew-- shake of his head, Nasir shrugged, lighting one for himself. Things would continue like this until there came a noticeable change, one which would mark the difference of everything, and the new beginning of the life Nasir knew he could lead if he were given the opportunity. One day things would change. For now though...
“Wanna go again?”
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 11:59 am
Nasir snarled as he paced across his room. Things weren't working out as he would've liked. He'd managed to procure a job-- not one he'd needed Raven's help for, and certainly not one he was going to tell her about, but there were things about his new job he found frustrating. For one, the club which had hired him as their bouncer didn't really want to let the youth inside half the time.
Why the hell not?! If he was going to work there, he should get to have some fun sometimes. But no, they preferred to keep him outside, checking IDs and throwing the little children out. That wasn't what he wanted to do. He wanted...
But patience. If he stuck with this long enough, they'd let him do what he wanted. They'd let him take what he wanted.
And then he'd be able to bring his pretty Kamil here as well.
Ah, Kamil. Such a gorgeous, innocent creature! Nasir remembered the taste of his lips, the way their bodies moved together-- it was enough to calm him, enough to make him feel as though things could work out. The memory of the luscious way Kamil moaned his name... it was enough to keep him at this job so that soon he could steal his pretty away.
And he would too. He'd make something of himself, he'd--
"What the hell are you doing in here?" Nasir snarled at the thing sitting on his bed. And how long had he been there?! Not he--it. Whatever it was.
David blinked, considering Nasir. "I've been watching you pace for a few minutes now. You're agitated," David stated the obvious, smiling slightly up at the youth.
"The hell I am-- get out of my room." Stay calm. The kid was just an annoying brat. He's not important. He's not anyone you need to concern yourself with, just another one of those stupid siblings...
"It's not a bad thing for you to want something," David shrugged smoothly, one of the many arms pushing thin-rimmed glasses up. "It's normal."
Why were the young ones always so nosy?! It wasn't any of David's business what Nasir did-- they didn't even get along!
Grabbing the creature by the white robe-like thing, Nasir through David out of his room, leaving himself alone with his thoughts again.
David smiled outside of Nasir's room, laughing quietly. Nasir had a dream. That was good. He had a purpose which would see him through everything. Good for him...
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Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 7:07 pm
Slipping through the house, Nasir's eyes darted about. He felt a wariness within him, as if he'd been watched over the past few nights. It unnerved him, made him feel as though something called to him, whispered his name and set out to strike him down. Perhaps it was his mind, nothing more, but it kept him home tonight instead of wandering out to the clubs as he usually did after such a long day.
In all honesty, the wariness made him act more like a predator, padding silently through the house to check on each of his siblings he actually cared about, glancing in on them. After all, it was important to know they were safe when things moved in the house so darkly, so quietly, so fiercely terribly. Nasir didn't want anything to happen to most of them.
First, Renjyo. His little sister, his baby was growing up, sleeping sweetly underneath her covers, her lips still barely tinged with a hint of rouge that she'd missed wiping off before retiring for the night. Sweet little child, experimenting with everything and nothing at the same time. She learned so much and yet did so little at the same time. Could Nasir stand watching her change over and over again? Of course he could. People changed. It was the way the world worked. Even his beloved sister--
"...you're up late."
Such a quiet voice behind him could only belong to one of his brothers. Shutting Renjyo's door gently and turning, Nasir's eyes narrowed at Mekt, the only one of the siblings who really dared openly challenge Nasir's dominance in this place. "As are you."
Considering his elder brother for a long moment, Mekt took in Nasir's state of dishevelment, the fact that he was here, not out on the town the way he usually would be at this hour of the night. "You're awake because you can feel them too," he sighed finally, looking very tired for a moment. "I was wondering if you'd be able to feel them. Her at least-- she's been watching you for a while."
'Them'. 'Her'. 'She'. What the hell was his brother talking about? "What the--"
"Shh. You don't want to wake Renjyo up, do you?" Mekt cautioned, motioning for Nasir to follow him into the library-- strange that Raven had soundproofed such a place, given the volatile tempers in the house, but it made it useful for the moment. Once inside the sprawling room, the pale boy gave his older brother a slight smile. "You've felt eyes on you recently, like someone's watching you. Given your alpha male tendencies, this makes you feel more upset, makes you feel like you might be in danger, which makes you cautious."
How did Mekt know all of this? Somehow, Nasir didn't think he'd like the answer.
"...she won't be bothering you anymore," Mekt sighed after a moment. "Not after tomorrow, if everything goes well."
...Mekt was making a fool out of him. "What the hell are you talking about?" Nasir asked, barely resisting the urge to slam his brother against one of the walls. Was Mekt completely out of his mind?
"Nothing much. Just... hang in there one more night," Mekt shrugged. "She'll leave you alone."
Somehow, Nasir didn't like the sound of that either.
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Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2007 2:08 am
It has been over a month since your last post.
This is not acceptable.
You have 2 days to make a post up to my standards, or Nasir will be *frozen.
This Warning and its Requirements are Not Negotionable.
*Frozen: When a pet is forced to remain in it's current stage indefinitely due to an owner's failure to comply with contractual obligations made and understood prior to the purchase of the pet. Additionally, the journal is locked and ownership is still retained despite the frozen state.
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