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 Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 9:19 pm
Shadow: Rae's advice is good. Its normal to be terrified of looking people in the eye. As an actor though, I use that fear as energy in other ways. You may use that fear to fuel your confidence. That may make no sense, but it you use the fear to focus on making yourself look confortable you'll eventually feel comfortable.
Talking to someone who doesnt get talked to is an awesome way to build confidence. Those people want to talk as much as you do, so they'll probably jump at the chance. ^__^ I'm horrible with groups of people, unless they're a lot younger than me. Whats usually best is to establish a relationship with one person, then maybe establish one with on of their friends and so on until you've created a group of people you're really comfortable with. Then when a new person is added to the group you're fine with connecting with them because you already know everyone else. 3nodding
IK: I know how it feels bud, I always used to be the fat kid in elementary and middle school, and eventually lost weight for some reason. The worst thing you can do is let them know its getting to you. Don't say anything about it, just say "Whatever or something." I don't really know how to reassure you things will get better. But once you hit a growth spurt things should work out. 3nodding Its not right, I know, but I dont have a definate solution. I don't understand what people have against someone with a belly O.o" All I can say is most likely, as you get into those higher grades, you'll probably get taller and thiner and the rest of the kids will put on a few pounds. Thats what happened to me.
Sou: You may be coming off as antisocial o.o You're already pretty intimidating from the sounds of it, what with being as huge and muscular as you say o.o Be sure to smile and laugh plenty, crack a joke every once and a while and let everyone know you're a gentle giant. No dark humor, or fun-poking. Just clean good humor. You don't really need to make the joke, just laugh at other peoples.
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 9:31 pm
Adding onto a joke is also a good way to get a laugh. >>
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 9:53 pm
Wak-d Your questions are deep. But... believe it or not I use to be the same way. I could never look people in the eyes, and I didn't like walking anywhere close to a group of people. Eventually, though, I faced my fears and gradually started to look at people in the eyes more. I started with my friends, then worked my way to acquaintences, and then complete strangers. It worked pretty well. ^^ Hmm..so there are others like me.. Friends you say, what if you haven't acquired those..what's it like to have one?
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 9:58 pm
InvertedKingdom I've been picked on all my life at school. I'm that one "fat kid". Even though I'm losing weight at a steady pace, people never seem to notice. I'm 167lbs and people call me fat! It's an average weight for a thirteen year old aint it?! There are people at my school who have seriously huge bellies, yet I'm the one always picked on? Perhaps someone here can answer as to why? Well..Maybe just ignore em, they'll go away. No matter how hard it may be..pretend they don't exist (I tend to do this a LOT) I can't answer why, sorry..
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:03 pm
Sousei Tatsu I'm sort of an outcast, but I'm one of those few outcasts that are never picked on. Why you ask? Being 6'6, 240lbs, and able to lift over 400lbs over your head tends to scare people away from you. sweatdrop Unfortunately, this also scares away the girls... crying Same here..no one ever picked on me, but I was always the shadow amongst those that socially interact. I think that its cool! You should be proud of who you are, regardless of other's opinions. 3nodding Everyone has there opinion..there's someone out in the world that cares, and would want to be friends =)
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:09 pm
Mikomi Rae I don't get scared away by weight. I actually think it's easier to approach a guy if he's not perfect-looking. The only think that would really repel me is bad attitude. Bragging, making fun of people, lying, etc... Shadow, believe it or not, I was... really... really... REALLY... shy.. and quiet... and polite (gasp!) in middle school... I broke out of my shell by hanging out with people who are easy to talk to. Don't start with a big group... start with a couple people you're comfortable with and work your way up. Y'know what really really REALLY works, no lie? Talk to someone who everyone else avoids. I'm not kidding. I always seemed to start conversations with people who seem left-out. (Always standing by themselves, being quiet, etc.) and every time I ended up with ongoing friendships. (One of them being GOOSE, another one being DEB... and ANAIS... *coughKyoucoughmoviecough*) I think maybe it's just that initial approach that makes things easy; they know you're a nice person because first of all, you approached them, not knowing anything about them, and two, you chose to talk to them instead of hanging with a group. And because you initiated the conversation, you feel like the "outgoing" one. Try it. ^_^ It's possible to be both, isn't that the funniest thing? I'm always told I'm the most polite of people someone would meet, even though only about 10 words at max (in my real life)are spoken tohumans out of my family..I believe ya..so it would be best to talk with those that also seem unnoticed by the crowd? Okay, I will =) Thanks Mikomi
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:16 pm
Kyou Nitsune Shadow: Rae's advice is good. Its normal to be terrified of looking people in the eye. As an actor though, I use that fear as energy in other ways. You may use that fear to fuel your confidence. That may make no sense, but it you use the fear to focus on making yourself look confortable you'll eventually feel comfortable. Talking to someone who doesnt get talked to is an awesome way to build confidence. Those people want to talk as much as you do, so they'll probably jump at the chance. ^__^ I'm horrible with groups of people, unless they're a lot younger than me. Whats usually best is to establish a relationship with one person, then maybe establish one with on of their friends and so on until you've created a group of people you're really comfortable with. Then when a new person is added to the group you're fine with connecting with them because you already know everyone else. 3nodding IK: I know how it feels bud, I always used to be the fat kid in elementary and middle school, and eventually lost weight for some reason. The worst thing you can do is let them know its getting to you. Don't say anything about it, just say "Whatever or something." I don't really know how to reassure you things will get better. But once you hit a growth spurt things should work out. 3nodding Its not right, I know, but I dont have a definate solution. I don't understand what people have against someone with a belly O.o" All I can say is most likely, as you get into those higher grades, you'll probably get taller and thiner and the rest of the kids will put on a few pounds. Thats what happened to me. Sou: You may be coming off as antisocial o.o You're already pretty intimidating from the sounds of it, what with being as huge and muscular as you say o.o Be sure to smile and laugh plenty, crack a joke every once and a while and let everyone know you're a gentle giant. No dark humor, or fun-poking. Just clean good humor. You don't really need to make the joke, just laugh at other peoples. Okay..so use my fear of others fuel my confidence..I'll need to get some first.. Suppose so, but what if they are like me, and if someone talks to them they want as far away as possible? Yeah, that's the thing, I can talk to younger people, a lil bit. I think it's their innocence that puts my guard down.. Thanks Kyou, I'll try =)
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:18 pm
BNCFShadowstar Wak-d Your questions are deep. But... believe it or not I use to be the same way. I could never look people in the eyes, and I didn't like walking anywhere close to a group of people. Eventually, though, I faced my fears and gradually started to look at people in the eyes more. I started with my friends, then worked my way to acquaintences, and then complete strangers. It worked pretty well. ^^ Hmm..so there are others like me.. Friends you say, what if you haven't acquired those..what's it like to have one? Pretty nice. I dunno how to describe it, though. sweatdrop
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:21 pm
sweatdrop I forgot to mention, I have a condition that further affects my social skills.. I'm timid in nature and have had a bad past with other humans, couple that with the effect of my condition, and then you realize it's almost impossible for me to just walk up to some one..
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:31 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 12:48 am
Wak-d BNCFShadowstar Wak-d Your questions are deep. But... believe it or not I use to be the same way. I could never look people in the eyes, and I didn't like walking anywhere close to a group of people. Eventually, though, I faced my fears and gradually started to look at people in the eyes more. I started with my friends, then worked my way to acquaintences, and then complete strangers. It worked pretty well. ^^ Hmm..so there are others like me.. Friends you say, what if you haven't acquired those..what's it like to have one? Pretty nice. I dunno how to describe it, though. sweatdrop That's okay.. I was just curious.. Its funny, I watch others, how they react to certain events..those that I observe seemingly have friends, but then, they are alone.. People move on, they forget about one another, they trust eachother only to find out later they will be persecuted, left to wither..I observe many people and have come to this conclusion.. Are friends really worth it?
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 4:36 am
Kyou Nitsune IK: I know how it feels bud, I always used to be the fat kid in elementary and middle school, and eventually lost weight for some reason. The worst thing you can do is let them know its getting to you. Don't say anything about it, just say "Whatever or something." I don't really know how to reassure you things will get better. But once you hit a growth spurt things should work out. 3nodding Its not right, I know, but I dont have a definate solution. I don't understand what people have against someone with a belly O.o" All I can say is most likely, as you get into those higher grades, you'll probably get taller and thiner and the rest of the kids will put on a few pounds. Thats what happened to me. Thanks man, but at 5'9, I'm not sure I'll be having any growth spurts any time soon. But who knows time will tell right? Sou:I have a friend like you. Younger than me, barely turned thirteen and he's already 6'5. From what I hear, he's also got the same build as you. When I first met him, I was like "Holy s**t, that guy has to be the bully." But, he was a nice guy, always cracking jokes like Kyou suggested, now we're great friends. Shadow:All I can say is, don't be a loner. It doesn't work out. Alright guys, heres another problem of mine. I hang out in a group of kids my age. Theres the you know, the Rocker, the pain inducer, the weird, short, but good at insults kid, the big kid. And then theres me. Now, I've known these guys for a while, but I always feel like I'm a fifth wheel or something. I can never get into the conversations, (Note that the friend I mentioned above was at a diferent school) so Im always left out. I dunno what to do, every time I try to make a joke I'm beaten upon. Does anyone else have (or had) this problem?
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 5:33 am
InvertedKingdom Kyou Nitsune IK: I know how it feels bud, I always used to be the fat kid in elementary and middle school, and eventually lost weight for some reason. The worst thing you can do is let them know its getting to you. Don't say anything about it, just say "Whatever or something." I don't really know how to reassure you things will get better. But once you hit a growth spurt things should work out. 3nodding Its not right, I know, but I dont have a definate solution. I don't understand what people have against someone with a belly O.o" All I can say is most likely, as you get into those higher grades, you'll probably get taller and thiner and the rest of the kids will put on a few pounds. Thats what happened to me. Thanks man, but at 5'9, I'm not sure I'll be having any growth spurts any time soon. But who knows time will tell right? Sou:I have a friend like you. Younger than me, barely turned thirteen and he's already 6'5. From what I hear, he's also got the same build as you. When I first met him, I was like "Holy s**t, that guy has to be the bully." But, he was a nice guy, always cracking jokes like Kyou suggested, now we're great friends. Shadow:All I can say is, don't be a loner. It doesn't work out. Alright guys, heres another problem of mine. I hang out in a group of kids my age. Theres the you know, the Rocker, the pain inducer, the weird, short, but good at insults kid, the big kid. And then theres me. Now, I've known these guys for a while, but I always feel like I'm a fifth wheel or something. I can never get into the conversations, (Note that the friend I mentioned above was at a diferent school) so Im always left out. I dunno what to do, every time I try to make a joke I'm beaten upon. Does anyone else have (or had) this problem? Been one my almost my entire existence..I'm not sure how to gain the ability to socialize..my dad says he's that way too (cept NO WHERE near extreme as me) and as I'd already stated, my condition makes it that much harder gonk Maybe one day though.. Not much I can say on this topic..only thing I can think of, is try somethin new.
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 6:30 am
Sousei Tatsu I'm sort of an outcast, but I'm one of those few outcasts that are never picked on. Why you ask? Being 6'6, 240lbs, and able to lift over 400lbs over your head tends to scare people away from you. sweatdrop Unfortunately, this also scares away the girls... crying Dude, I'm deffinitley jealous. I wish I could lift that much! I find it funny that people are afraid of you (even though yes you're a bit intimidating) But I betcha after a bit people will have no problem warming up to you (with the other members of this guilds good advice as well). Its funny because if you were someone who lived near me you seem like you'd be a pretty popular guy.
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 7:21 pm
BNCFShadowstar Wak-d BNCFShadowstar Wak-d Your questions are deep. But... believe it or not I use to be the same way. I could never look people in the eyes, and I didn't like walking anywhere close to a group of people. Eventually, though, I faced my fears and gradually started to look at people in the eyes more. I started with my friends, then worked my way to acquaintences, and then complete strangers. It worked pretty well. ^^ Hmm..so there are others like me.. Friends you say, what if you haven't acquired those..what's it like to have one? Pretty nice. I dunno how to describe it, though. sweatdrop That's okay.. I was just curious.. Its funny, I watch others, how they react to certain events..those that I observe seemingly have friends, but then, they are alone.. People move on, they forget about one another, they trust eachother only to find out later they will be persecuted, left to wither..I observe many people and have come to this conclusion.. Are friends really worth it? Yes, yes they are. I think my life would've been UNBEARABLE without the friends I've known and the great times I've had with them. Sure, it's not perfect. We all have problems with our friends, and trust me, I know what it's like to be hurt just because I had friends. I've had to leave all my friends behind, and make new ones three times. One for each time I've had to move. sweatdrop Of course, I was too young to remember the first time, but... you get the picture.
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