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| YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF YOU...... |
| THINK FAST FOOD IS HITTING A DEER AT 60 MPH |
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57% |
[ 12 ] |
| IF YOU GO TO A FAMILY REUNION LOOKIN' FER A WIFE |
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23% |
[ 5 ] |
| MOW YER YARD AND FIND A CAR IN IT! |
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19% |
[ 4 ] |
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| Total Votes : 21 |
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Meanwhile In Another Time
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 Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 11:52 am
"What it the difference between a pile of dead babies and Every Invader Zim Episode Known to Man?"
Answer: I don't have Every Invader Zim Episode Known to Man.
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Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 11:32 am
if ya get married 3 times and have the same inlaws ya might be a red neck
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 4:54 pm
If you've ever worn a bra that had staps, with a dress that didn't...you might be a redneck.
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 4:54 pm
If you've ever opened a beer during a wedding or a funeral.....You might be a redneck.
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 4:58 pm
If you have singing bass in more than 3 rooms of your home!.....you might be a redneck!
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:05 pm
If you think that these definitions are accurate:
Benign - What you be, after you be eight.
Artery - The study of paintings
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria
Barium - what doctors do when patients die
Cesarean section - a neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan - searching for kitty
Cauterize - made eye contact with her
Colic - a sheep dog
coma- a punctuation mark
D & C - Where Washington is
Dilate - to live long
Enema - Not a friend
Fester - quicker than someone else
Fibula - a small lie
Genital - a non-Jewish person
GI series - world series of military baseball
Hangnail - what you hang your coat on
Impotent - distinguished, well-known
Labor pain - getting hurt at work
medical staff - a doctor's cane
Morbid - a higher offer
Nitrates - cheaper than day rates
Node - I knew it
Outpatient - a person who has fainted
Pap Smear - A fatherhood test
Pelvis - second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative - a letter carrier
Recovery room - place to do upholstery
Rectum - darn near killed him
Secretion - hiding something
Seizure - a Roman emperor
Tablet - a small table
Terminal Illness - getting sick at the airport
Tumor - one plus one more
Urine - opposite of you're out
Varicose - nearby / close by
....You might be a redneck.
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:08 pm
If you collect your old license plates and put them on top of the fireplace and call them trophies! You might be a redneck!
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:11 pm
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. They
placed the message "HE'S LYING" in the copier, and pressed the copy button each
time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie
detector" was working, the suspect confessed to the police.
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:19 pm
The three latest stupid technological discoveries:
1.) Solar powered flashlights.
2.) Inflatable dartboards.
3.) Helicopter ejection seats.
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:27 pm
FUN IN SCHOOL1)In the middle of class, run to the middle of the room screaming, ''I'm on
fire!'' Roll around vigorously.
2) Get up to sharpen your pencil as much as possible.
3) Ask your teacher how good their spouse was last night.
4) Talk in a strong English accent.
5) Walk into class halfway through, saying, ''Aren't you glad I decided to
come today?''
6) In the middle of a lesson, jump up holding a Game Boy above your head and
scream, ''I win!''
7) Pick your nose, show it to your friends and say loudly, ''Mmm, never seen
that shape before.''
8 ) ''But I have to go reeeaaallly bad!''
9) During a multiple-choice test, read the answers out loud as you go along.
10) Repeat everything the teacher says in the form of a question (''Sheesh, so
America won the Revolutionary War?'').
11) At lunch, insist on being served caviar.
12) Hide in your locker and refuse to come out.
13) ''I was never told there was going to be a test.''
14) Bring your pet goldfish.
15) Throw chalks at the chalkboard and insist on counting how many pieces it
breaks into.
16) Laugh hysterically whenever anybody says anything.
17) Splash water on the armpit area of your shirt and walk around with your
hands behind your head.
18 ) During a private conversation with a teacher, suddenly shout, ''No I will not date you!''
19) Point and laugh at all the fat kids.
20) Strike up a conversation with your pen.
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:29 pm
I hope this joke isn't too weird for some kids, i dunno.
'There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate waiting to get into
heaven. Not all these spirits could fit into heaven, so the ones who died the
worst death would be allowed in.
The first man in line started telling his story, ''Well, Peter, you see, I
knew that my wife was cheating on me so I decided to come home early from work
one day to catch them in action. I got home and searched all over but I couldn't
find him. Then when I walked out onto the balcony, there he was dangling off the
darn thing by his fingertips. So I ran and got a hammer then started beating him
with it and he fell. Well, the fall didn't kill him, because he landed in a bush
so I picked up the refrigerator and threw it on him. Although that killed him,
the strain gave me a heart attack, and here I am.''
The next man came up and started his story. ''St. Peter, I always work out on
my balcony on the 14th floor of my apartment building. I was on my bike one day
and I fell off when it flipped. I sailed over the rail and I thought 'Please God
spare my life' and he did. I caught on to a balcony below me. I was even happier
when a man discovered me hanging there. But all of a sudden he started beating
my hands with a hammer so I fell again. But the dear Lord saved me again when I
landed in a bush. But I'm here now because the guy threw his refrigerator on top
of me.''
It was now the third guy's turn to start his story. ''Well, Peter, just
picture this. I'm hiding butt naked in this married chick's refrigerator...'''
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:41 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:43 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:44 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:49 pm
Always take the time to smell the roses... and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
It's always darkest just before dawn...so if you're going to steal the
neighbors' newspaper, that's the time to do it.
It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown... and fewer still to ignore
someone completely.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked up into jet engines.
I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on
someone else.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
My father always said laughter is the best medicine, which I guess is why
several of us ended up dying of tuberculosis.
It takes a big man to cry... But it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
When I'm feeling down I like to whistle... it makes my neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
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