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 Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 4:13 am
Obie cut through the line to the protests of some underclassmen and grabbed a turkey sandwich and some water. She slid into the seat across from Ra after paying and looked up in surprise at his question. It was so odd that he asked that question so shortly after she had finally reached her breaking point with Thanatos. Slowly unwrapping her sandwich she shrugged a little.
"All the time," she said, glancing up when she managed to get her sandwich free of its wrapper. Looking down at it, her stomach growled, but she suddenly wasn't feeling so well. "Who are you being forced to be?" she asked taking a small, tenative bite. She wondered if this nausea was a side affect from the game or from her other circumstances.
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Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 4:21 am
Ra smirked bitterly at the apple he didn't want to eat.
"The perfect son, boyfriend, student oh and er ... sane." He said darkly. For some reason everything that had been bothering him since he arrived at Aquila was reaching a breaking point. he was sick of all of it "Why can't people be happy with who we are, with what they get in life?" He looked up at her again. "Everyone is always looking for something better."
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Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 4:28 am
Obie raised an eyebrow at his sudden outburst. Something was definitely different with him, she assessed. His gentleness seemed.... faded. No... overshadowed.
"Are you happy with who you are and the way your life is?" she asked, setting her sandwich down on the wrapper and toying with the bread.
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Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 4:40 am
"No." He said rather sharply. "Because I'm never me I'm always what they want me to be." He sighed and looke past her, absently watching the clock on the wall. "Even my girlfriend, the only person who I really let see me wishes I was different." He looked back at her, scared. "I feel lost Obie, like I don't even know who I am or who I want to be, because everyone says I should be something different."
He shook his head and looked down at the apple. This wasn't him, he didn't moan to everyone about his problems. "To be honest, I hate who I am. And I hate the way I allow my past to make me this person."
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Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 5:17 am
Obie took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she leaned forward on the table. He must be really desperate to be talking to me about this, she thought. She studied him for a moment, trying to formulate an answer that would satisfy the disturbed look in his eyes. The noise of loud laughter nearby drew an annoyed glance from her. Looking down at her virtually untouched sandwich she wrapped it back up.
"Come on. We're going somewhere less... distracting," she said, glancing back at the obnoxious students sitting nearby. They were definitely not helping her headache. She rose to her feet and started walking towards the door, glancing back once to make sure he was following.
Once back out in the open air, her mind was able to clear a little more and she was able to think more on what he had said. His answer really hadn't surprised her. From the first time she had met him, she had believed him to be honest. And who better to be honest with, than yourself? She found a secluded area that she frequented when she felt the need to forget that there was a world beyond her. Settling down in the cool shade on the grass she waited for him to do the same before she levelled her blue gaze on him.
"I'm not going to tell you that you should love yourself, as that would be hypocritical of me. That's not an easy feat to accomplish and if someone tells you that they love everything about themselves, they're lying. I would tell you to say ******** all to everyone around you, but I know that that's not possible either. Especially if it's for people you love. But don't shut yourself off Ra. Don't become uncaring and emotionless towards the world around you. Don't bottle everything up," she said softly. She continued to hold his gaze then a small smile pulled on her lips.
"All it sounds like is you need a friend. Someone who could care less if you become unguarded around them. It seems to me that a person like that would be easy for you to find. You're more you than you realize," she said looking down into the grass.
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Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 5:48 am
Ra followed her out of the canteen and listened to what she had to say, he agreed with all of it and somewhere deep down he knew, he knew all this. He had assumed Aquila was somewhere he could be himself. He had found people he could connect with. But these last few weeks, Chii's words and her silence, his parents arguing, seeing everyone else happy and now the one thing that numbed him wasn't working.
At her last two sentences he couldn't hold it in anymore all the emotion he had been bottling up for the past few months came pouring out. Putting his head in his hands he started to cry, shoulder shaking painful tears. He wasn't doing it for sympathy, or a pep talk, he just needed to get it out of his system.
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Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 5:59 am
Obie looked on Ra in surprise. Though she knew she shouldn't be. She knew exactly how he felt. She hesitated though. She knew how she would be if she were in his situation, but then... she may not have been in his situation, as she tended to push people away and he welcomed them with open arms. Slowly, she crawled over to kneel down next to him. She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. He just needed someone to listen and be there for him, she realized. She reached out and wrapped her arms around him tightly, and held him without saying another word.
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Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 6:21 am
Ra cried against Obie until he couldn't cry any more. Although he appreciated and respected her help he wished it was Chii holding him right now. But she wouldn't want him to be like this, no. That would be unmanly. It would be weak. She didn't want someone weak and passive like him.
Sniffing he sat up and wiped his eyes with his hands.
"I'm sorry." He said looking at her through red, tired eyes. "It's just too much s**t and not being able to sleep ... It's like I want to knock myself out just to get some rest."
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Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 6:31 am
Obie allowed him to pull away and brushed some hair out of his face before sitting back down. She smiled softly at his words and tossed her hair over her shoulders before wrapping her arms around her knees.
"You're a victim of your own devices," she said softly. "You can't sleep because you're stressed. Stressed because you can't sleep, and of course other things as well. I wish I could help you. I really do." She was surprised at her own boldness to help, but Ra was a good person. He deserved better than how he was being treated.
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Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 6:55 am
Ra sat cross legged and and smiled a little.
"I know. My shrink tells me all the time. I was actually better before I came here. In Britain, I didn't need the meds." He smirked a little and shook his head.
"It's Japan, which I know sounds funny. I have a trauma induced phobia of earthquakes. I can't sleep because I think I'm going to wake up under a pile of rubble. So they give me meds ... only they're so strong I get dependant. So when they don't work it freaks me out." He smiled back at her. "You have helped Obie. Just letting me rant and get it out. You've helped more than I think you'll ever realise. Thank you. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, help, anything. I'm owe you." He said reaching forward to put a friendly hand on her arm. "I think we could both do with an impartial friend every now and again."
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Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 7:32 am
Obie looked down at the hand on her arm with a raised eyebrow. She hid the smirk on her face and looked up at him seriously.
"Who says I'm impartial?" she asked, the smile in her eyes belying the unamused look on her face. Slowly a smile spread across her lips, and her expression softened.
"I thank you for the offer and the compliment, both," she smiled with a hint of warmness. She looked away for a moment, then turned her blue eyes back to his.
"So... how far are you on your half of the bio paper?" she asked with a smirk.
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Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 9:44 pm
Sniffing again Ra shook his head.
"Not much further. Though I'll pull something off." He said with a small smirk. "I always do."
Then, as if it knew the worst time to happen his phone started to go off. Giving Obie an apologetic smile he took it out of his bag and looked at the flashing display.
Parisa? What the hell was she doing calling international. Frowning at it he turned back to Obie.
"I really have to take this." He said standing up. "Remember, if you ever need to talk." He said giving her a weak smile and flipping the phone open. Speaking hurriedly in Farsi he walked away.
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Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 10:03 pm
Obie smirked. She was almost done, but she knew Ra was a good student in the class. Almost her rival really. She wasn't worried about his putting it off. She waited patiently when his phone began to ring and smiled and nodded at his departure. She watched him walk away and laid back in the cool grass, her headache subsiding to a mild irritation. She felt... strangely comforted by his offer of friendship. Smiling a bit, she closed her eyes and drifted off to a light sleep.~~~ Fade to Blue ~~~
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