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 Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 9:37 pm
ok, so what all jokes have a victim, take this joke for example ((i am sorry if i offend any1)) a person is selling brains and someone comes up"who's brain is that?" "albert einstein's its for 150 dollars" "who's is that?" "thomas edison's for 175 dollars" "who' brain is that?" George Bush's brain for 1000 dollars""why does that one cost so much?" "it was never used!"
ba-dunce! rofl
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Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 1:16 am
-] Pi with an E [- *becomes insulted with the 3 blond jokes* stressed IM BLOND! IM A 7TH GRADER! I TAKE 9TH GRADE LEVEL MATH!!!!! I'm really really sorry!!! cry I didn't mean to offend anyone!!! mad
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Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 6:11 am
mmmddd -] Pi with an E [- *becomes insulted with the 3 blond jokes* stressed IM BLOND! IM A 7TH GRADER! I TAKE 9TH GRADE LEVEL MATH!!!!! I'm really really sorry!!! cry I didn't mean to offend anyone!!! mad i kno but i am extremley baised against them. im sorry i got so mad.
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Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 1:44 am
The Perfect Husband
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes" WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked." MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: "$65,000." MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000." MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!" MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
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Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 1:45 am
Whack 3x
One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Bubba, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is. He can't help himself, and asks Bubba what his secret is.
"Well," says Bubba, "every night before I climb into bed with a girl, I whack my p***s on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The husband was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night. So before climbing into bed with his wife, he took out his p***s and whacked it three times on the bedpost. His wife, half-asleep, said, "Bubba? Is that you?"
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Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 12:58 am
Two hunters from New Jersey go into the woods.
One collapses and the other rings for help telling the operator he thinks his friend is dead.
When she asks if he is sure, there is a gunshot before he comes back on the line to say, "OK,now what?"
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Posted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 3:01 am
A white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir....when I was born I was BLACK, " "When I grew up I was BLACK, " "When I'm sick I'm BLACK, " "When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, " "When I'm cold I'm BLACK, " "When I die I'll be BLACK." "But you sir." "When you're born you're pink, " "When you grow up you're white, " "When you're sick, you're green, " "When you go in the sun you turn red, " "When you're cold you turn blue, " "And when you die you turn purple." "And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away.... Pass it on if you HATE racism
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Posted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 3:16 am
When your grandfather was born, they passed out cigars. When your father was born, they passed out cigarettes. When you were born, they just passed out. eek
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Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 1:21 am
I love the "I'm an Atheist, so I MUST hate the world."
rofl
This is why you should never assume.
------------------
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a b***h.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I'm JAMICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm ON A DANCE TEAM, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I WEAR SKIRTS A LOT, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.
I'm WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST have a big c**k.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be sleeping with them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I HAVE BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm FILIPINO, so i MUST eat dog.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.
I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.
Im a STONER, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN, so I MUST be prude.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love fried chicken.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm ASIAN so I MUST have a small p***s.
I wear BLACK and listen too MARYLIN MANSON so I MUST be a satanist.
I'm BLONDE so i MUST be dumb.
------------------
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Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 6:27 am
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Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2006 9:01 pm
whoa... that was kind of hard to follow....
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 8:08 am
still, i liked the im preppy one. that was funny.
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 8:10 am
wait wait wait can you add "I'm BLONDE so a MUST be dumb" to the list?
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 8:10 am
never mind its kind of on there anyway i guess i was kind of in denial.
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Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:33 pm
bumper sticker
buckle up, it makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of ur car
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