Welcome to Gaia! ::

Catholicism: If s**t happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let s**t happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This s**t was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if s**t happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if s**t happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: s**t that happens to one person is just as good as s**t that happens to another.
Unitarian: s**t that happens to one person is just as bad as s**t that happens to another.
Lutheran: If s**t happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If s**t happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Seventh Day Adventism: No s**t shall happen on Saturday.
Christian Science: When s**t happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Jehovah's Witnesses: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our s**t?
Creationism: God made all s**t.
Judaism: Why does this s**t always happen to us?
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Taoism: s**t happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "s**t happens."
Buddhism: If s**t happens, it isn't really s**t.
Zen Buddhism: What is the sound of s**t happening?
Hinduism: This s**t has happened before.
Islam: If s**t happens, it is the will of Allah (blame Israel).
Hare Krishna: s**t happens, rama rama.
Utopianism: This s**t does not stink.
Calvinism: s**t happens because you don't work.
Secular Humanism: s**t evolves.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this s**t.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this s**t.
Darwinism: This s**t was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY s**t.
Communism: It's everybody's s**t.
Feminism: Men are s**t.
Chauvinism: We may be s**t, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this s**t.
Impressionism: From a distance, s**t looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this s**t.
Existentialism: s**t doesn't happen; s**t IS.
Stoicism: This s**t is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good s**t happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this s**t.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let s**t happen.
Scientology: If s**t happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Moonies: Only really happy s**t happens.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this s**t!
Zoroastrianism: s**t happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
Practical: Deal with s**t one day at a time.
Agnostic: s**t might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Atheism: I don't believe this s**t.
Nihilism: No s**t.

I take no credit for writing that... I found it on my art teacher's website

He didn't write it, either