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 Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 10:50 am
Cassidy’s eyes were trained on Riker’s, not really to challenge him but definitely to let him know he wasn’t going to back down.
…And because Riker, as always, was a well of emotion. It was like he peeled back one layer of Riker just to find another, equally endearing side of him.
“So pick me up!” he insisted, and looked like he might have been ready to jump in the air if it meant getting off his feet. “If it’s so easy! Mr. strong arms and excellent core. Of course I’ve seen your abs. Not as often as I’d like but we can fix that. Since we’re trying things my way.”
A little or not.
Everything had to be careful with Riker because you couldn’t be too serious or you’d chase him off, and you couldn’t be too silly or you’d chase him off. Cassidy was still trying to figure out what the balance was but he was pretty sure if Riker was holding him he might at least be distracted enough that not everything would feel like a land mine.
“You don’t have to be good at letting anyone take care of you. I can work with that. I’ll just be so good at taking care of you that you won’t even notice what I’m doing, you’ll just let me do it. And eventually it’ll feel natural, you’ll come to me any time you want someone to take care of you. Oh, but don’t think you can get out of taking care of me, we’ll do give and take. You spoil me, I’ll spoil you. Deal?”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 10:50 am
Riker stared at Cassidy. He’d said to pick him up. He’d practically dared him. And he hadn’t seen his abs but not as often as he’d like. Since we’re trying things my way.
Riker’s ears were red. His whole face was red. He was surprised he hadn’t spontaneously combusted instead of the oven. But Cassidy was still standing there, still looking at him like he wanted to be held, like Riker was allowed to touch him, to want him, and… well, Riker wanted.
“You’re going to be the death of me,” he muttered with exasperation under his breath, but adjusted his hands more securely against Cassidy’s waist. “Okay! Fine! I’ll pick you up!” His voice cracked halfway through, but he’d already decided. And he didn’t want to give himself the chance to overthink it. So he slid his hands down, bent a little forward, and lifted.
Somehow, Cassidy was lighter than he’d expected. He’d carried him before, but as Reims. It was different! And Cassidy was all soft and warm with strong limbs, and Riker’s breath caught in his throat because he remembered how Amarynthos liked to carry Ephesus, with his legs around his waist, and arms around his shoulders--
He adjusted his grip slightly, just enough to let Cassidy do the same if he wanted, and then -- Cassidy’s thighs hooked around him and Riker nearly dropped him from the way his heart nearly burst out of his chest.
Yeah, he was absolutely going to die. But it was fine. It was totally normal. No big deal. He was just carrying Cassidy like a completely normal person, definitely not thinking about his warm breath against his neck or legs around his waist or arms wrapped around him.
Except Riker wanted to kiss him. Again. And again. And maybe not stop.
He caught himself looking at Cassidy’s mouth, but quickly looked away.
“You’ve no idea what you’re doing to me right now, do you?” he let out a shaky breath, followed by a grimace. “Or maybe you do.” Was that worse? Probably. But Riker wasn’t putting him down. In fact, he pulled Cassidy a little closer.
“But… deal,” he finally nodded in agreement. “You spoil me, I’ll spoil you.” And to prove that he meant it, Riker leaned in to kiss him before he drove himself crazy.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 10:50 am
Cassidy would not be the death of Riker, of this he was certain. The life of him, surely! Who else could make him flush like that, could make him look so wanton and timid? He hoped no one, because he was greedy, but how could he have been mad if there were others out there, coaxing Riker towards his own happiness?
Cassidy didn’t want to think about them, though. This was his time with Riker.
And Riker made it so easy.
Cassidy had instinctively wrapped his legs around Riker’s waist, locking his ankles together with such dedication that he probably could have held him up like that even if Riker tried to drop him. He wrapped arms around Riker’s shoulder only to balance himself.
Looking pleased with himself, because now he was a few inches taller than Riker, he looked down affectionately.
Cassidy grinned into the kiss, leaned forward to meet it.
He tangled his fingers in Riker’s hair, massaging into his scalp as their lips met.
Riker was right. Cassidy knew exactly what he was doing to him right now. And he wasn’t planning on stopping any time soon.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 10:51 am
Riker kisses him like he meant it… because he did. Because Cassidy was warm and close and real in his arms, looking at him with such affection that made Riker’s heart flutter, with his legs locked around him and fingers in his hair like he didn’t want to let go.
Riker didn’t want him to let go, either.
He sighed with contentment at the feel of Cassidy’s fingers against his scalp, his eyes closing for a few moments once more.
Riker kissed him once, and then again. The second time was slower, like he was trying to memorize everything about Cassidy. To test the way he liked his kisses. But also so Riker could say all the things he couldn’t say out loud just yet. At least not without sounding way too emotional. It made his heart hurt a little, but only because he didn’t know how to figure things out faster for himself.
He pulled back just enough to breathe and tilted his head back to scowl up at Cassidy, although his cheeks were too red for him to look at all intimidating. His arms had adjusted naturally with one hand braced under Cassidy’s thigh, and the other against the small of his back. He smoothed his hand up and down Cassidy’s spine, holding him close.
“You keep looking at me like that and I’m gonna start thinking I deserve this,” he huffed, but his furrowed brows smoothed out a bit and he mumbled a little more sheepishly. “And I really want to.”
He shifted just a bit, pressing a kiss against Cassidy’s jaw, but kept his eyes on his expression, waiting for the moment it seemed like Cassidy was done. Although, Cassidy looked so pleased with himself that Riker doubted he wanted to stop.
“Do you… want to stay like this for a bit? Or… I mean, I could put you down before I forget how to function, entirely,” he grimaced, but he tightened his hold a little more because he didn’t actually want to put Cassidy down. He could absolutely carry him forever. He just wasn’t sure if he’d survive it.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 10:51 am
“I want to stay like this forever,” Cassidy declared, with such enthusiasm that it was impossible to confuse it for simple teasing. He leaned forward a bit, like in doing so he could further secure himself to Riker’s body.
If Riker wanted him off, he’d have to put that core strength to use and pry him off.
How could Cassdiy give this up? The hand on his hip, on his back?
No, if he’d been greedy before. Now, a new avarice had blossomed inside of him, demanding more, more, more...
He hoped Riker never put him down. He didn’t want his feet to touch the ground again. Riker should have been proud of himself, because Cassidy’s heart was pounding in his chest and he couldn’t–maybe didn’t want to–put in the effort to get it under control. He wanted to kiss him again.
Who did Riker think he was, saying those silly, romantic things? –They were too charming, where did he get those words? Was he reading poetry? Romance books?
…What kind of song could he write for Cassidy if he was as honest then as he was now?
Cassidy wanted to cherish it, wanted to hold onto it, wanted to coax out more confessions and softness.
And he wanted to kiss Riker. A lot.
But he couldn’t do both at once, so he needed to plan in equal measure.
A few more kisses, gentle and wanton, and then, “You should take a picture of me looking at you like this. So the next time you forget you deserve this, you’ll have a reminder.” And because as soon as he saw Cassidy like that he’d want to come rushing back to him, of course. It wasn’t greedy when it was win-win for both of them, was it?
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 10:52 am
Forever…
So the next time you forget you deserve this...
Riker stared at Cassidy in a shy, stunned silence, memorizing every soft edge, every honest word, every time he leaned in instead of pulling away. His chest ached with something strange and unfamiliar. It wasn’t a bad feeling! Just… a lot.
Until he’d become a knight, no one had ever looked at him like that and meant it. He knew it was probably getting old that he still wasn’t used to the thought that someone could, but after spending most of his life desperate for positive attention, whenever he received it freely was… overwhelming. To know that there were people in his life who wouldn’t leave the moment he messed up or asked for too much or wasn’t enough…
A shaky little breath escaped before he could catch it, and he ducked his head, pressing his forehead against Cassidy’s shoulder to hide the sudden flush to his face.
“You can’t just say things like that,” Riker grumbled, almost too quiet to hear. “I’m starting to believe you.”
And he wanted to believe him. Desperately. Wanted it so badly he didn’t know what to do about it.
He kissed the curve of his shoulder, soft and slow, a little reverent, before pulling back just enough to meet his eyes with a gentle but somewhat dazed smile on his face.
“If I had a picture of you looking at me like that, I don’t think I’d stop staring at it,” he admitted, but made himself pause to take a breath. Just enough to steady himself.
“...But if you really want me to have one, you’re gonna have to dig my phone out of my back pocket. My hands are kinda full right now.” He’d been attempting to sound exasperated by it, but his cheeks and ears were a little too red to be sincere. “And you’re gonna have to feed me, too. If you’re going to play with my emotions like that, the least you can do is deliver me a quiche.”
Teasing, of course, but even as he said it his voice grew soft again. He let his hand run slowly along Cassidy’s spine, as if just to feel him breathe. But really… he didn’t want to let go.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 10:52 am
Riker wasn’t fast enough to hide his expression, or the color that spilled across his cheeks. Cassidy saw it all and thought it cruel that Riker would hide this side of himself, as if Cassidy weren’t greedy to see him from every angle.
“But I can say things like that! And I will!” Cassidy laughed, arching his back enough to press against Riker’s hand. To welcome the touch, not to pull away from it. Riker was too shy, too uncertain. Cassidy wanted to reward his participation. “The point is so that you do believe them! You’re so stubborn. Here, a quiche,” he said, but leaned forward to kiss him–quick and a little sloppy, and mostly for teasing, because Cassidy’s hands ran down Riker’s back and patted both pockets with unnecessary enthusiasm.
Like he had to search for which one had the phone. He found it easily but it didn’t matter, he wasted a few extra seconds ‘looking’ for it. He didn’t need the password; he could access the camera from the home screen.
He took a few pictures–more than he needed, but he wanted to spoil Riker. He wanted him to stare at pictures of Cassidy on his phone.
The impromptu photoshoot was fast, in part because he didn’t want to give the phone more attention than Riker, but he made sure to snap a few shots of his lips on Riker, so he could think about the tender kisses and miss them.
“Oh, I got some good ones. I’ll take more for you later. You think I’m playing with your emotions? You’re cute. But no, this is all real. And if you think it’s a chore to feed you, ha! It’s my fantasy! Why else would I always be cooking for you!”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 10:52 am
Riker had blinked in confusion the moment Cassidy offered a quiche -- except he didn’t actually have one in his hand. He just kissed him instead and-- oh right.
He let out a breath of a laugh, his expression still somewhat awed but relaxed now. He didn’t comment on the way Cassidy took his time looking for his phone, just watched him fondly. Oh, he was so smitten. Cassidy was so cute. How could he have missed all of this before?
When it came to taking photos, Riker held still as much as he could, wanting to make things easier for Cassidy. He could taste the kiss on his mouth. Cassidy’s words still echoed in his chest. He didn’t know what to do with any of it.
It was stupid, he knew that. There was a part of him thinking that maybe he’d wake up, or something would shift and remind him that this wasn’t meant to last. But he knew Cassidy wasn’t like that. His friends weren’t like that. Evan wasn’t like that. But knowing didn’t stop the ache. It didn’t quiet the deep seated fear of rejection that had buried itself in his bones.
He pressed his hand gently against the small of Cassidy’s back. The other hand brushed his thumb against the soft skin of his thigh. He didn’t want to lose this. He didn’t want to shy away from wanting it.
“I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything as badly as I want this to be real,” he said quietly, the words leaving his mouth before he could stop them. “I’m glad it is.”
As soon as he heard himself, he stiffened. Startled, almost sheepish. But he didn’t try to take it back or cover it up with a joke. He just looked up at Cassidy instead, his eyes catching on the flecks of gold in all that green.
“Wow,” he breathed, once more speaking without intention. He grimaced, prepared to defend himself before Cassidy could tease him.
“It’s not that I’ve never noticed,” he mumbled awkwardly. “Your eyes just surprise me every time, okay? But… I like your cooking, so you can feed me all you want. Any time.”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 10:52 am
Cassidy drew back just slightly, not to put distance between them but so that he could better see Riker–better take him all in. He didn’t stay that way for long. He wanted to indulge, just a few seconds.
“You’re so silly, Riker. I like when you say such cute things. I like when you look at me like that, too.”
It wasn’t fair that a moment had to end. This one should go on forever.
He wondered if Riker’s arms were getting tired but he couldn’t tell. His arms weren’t trembling and he hadn’t started shifting positions–and even if he did, Cassidy wasn’t sure it would have been out of fatigue.
“The good news is that this is real, and it’ll be real. It’s not going anywhere. If you ever need a reminder, just come pick me up again. You can look into my eyes for as long as you want and I’ll feed you quiche and kisses. And one day, instead of thinking ‘I want this to be real’ you’ll think, ‘I’m so happy it is.’”
Cassidy tipped his head closer and placed a kiss on his forehead, because he wasn’t sure how much longer he’d get to be tall enough to reach it like this.
“I still want to know a secret. A real one,” he insisted, teasing Riker’s nape with his fingers as he lightly scratched and massaged.
“What’s something you dreamed of, that you always wanted someone to do for you, but you never ask for?”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 10:53 am
Riker tilted his head into Cassidy’s touch, his eyes fluttering shut again for a few seconds. It was easier to focus on the drag of fingertips at the nape of his neck that sent small sparks of electricity down his spine, and the soft kiss to his forehead. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell him a secret. It wasn’t even that he didn’t trust him.
“I… don’t know if I should say,” he mumbled finally, voice uncertain. It wasn’t because he didn’t have an answer, but because he did. “It’s kind of dumb.”
His brows furrowed slightly together as he looked up again. His arms weren’t tired, but his chest felt tight. But he didn’t want to let go.
“I used to dream about someone saying they wanted me. Like… really wanted me. Not for something I could do, and not because I was useful or convenient. Just because I was me. I don’t know. I think I wanted to hear it so badly that it started feeling pathetic, so I stopped letting myself hope for it.”
He purposefully didn’t clarify what kind of wanted he meant. Love, maybe… or care. Or something that reached deeper than that. Maybe he didn’t know the right word for it yet.
“And… Okay, like, I know it’s not exactly something people think about saying. There’s ways to say it without saying it, so… I don’t know. I know people want me around, It’s just… I told you it’s dumb.” He lowered his head again, pressing his forehead softly against Cassidy’s collarbone.
“...So yeah,” he mumbled, his voice quieter now but sounding more like a confession than a joke. “I guess I’d let you feed me quiches and kisses forever if you meant it.”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 10:53 am
“Of course I mean it. I want that.”
He let the words linger, because if he didn’t then Riker would probably think he was rushing through them, or expect a punchline, or think Cassidy was insincere, or any other creative excuse not to trust him.
He untangled his fingers from Riker’s hair. One hand stayed at the base of his neck but with the other, he stroked down the back of his head soothingly. He didn’t mind if Riker wanted to hide his face right now. He rested his chin on Riker’s crown to tuck him closer.
“That’s not dumb at all. I think it’s sweet. And I’m very happy you’ve told me, because now I can tell you how much I want you. For you. Will you dream about me saying I want you? Give me your phone later, I’ll record you a message, too. You can listen to it if you ever feel sad. Or if you start to doubt yourself. Of course, you can just call me, too.”
The hand at Riker’s neck slid down his back, working over muscles and tension. Cassidy cradled Riker’s head to him while he did this, just working up and down his back. “And when you need more than words, I’ll find ways to say it without saying it. And then you can dream of me telling you how much I want you, hm? Not because you wonder, but because you know. That’s a good dream, isn’t it?”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 10:53 am
With Cassidy holding him like this, it was too easy to fall into the truths he was offering. There was no teasing, no sarcasm, no mocking… only quiet certainty and gentle hands. Riker knew that, if things continued like this, there wouldn’t be room for doubt in his head anymore.
His heart already knew. It always had. But it was often quieter than his fear, gentler, hidden behind walls and layers of old habits he’d built to protect himself from anything and everything, especially kindness and acceptance.
And yet, here he was, cradled against Cassidy’s chest, letting himself be held. Letting himself be wanted.
Riker’s breath hitched a little against his will. He hated how much he liked how soft Cassidy was with him, how his hands were so gentle and caring as he touched him, how good the slow press of fingers over his back felt. It almost felt natural, like his body was finally remembering what it meant to be safe.
“I dream about you already,” he admitted, feeling embarrassingly honest. “But… dreaming about you wanting me? That’s kind of dangerous.”
He hesitated, ears burning, and he pressed his face a little deeper into Cassidy’s collarbone.
“I still share a bed with Julian you know,” he grimaced, glad the quiet groan that followed was muffled against Cassidy’s shirt, but it didn’t hide the small smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth. He couldn’t deny how much he would like to have a recording he could listen to… although maybe the reason wasn’t as innocent as it probably should have been.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 10:53 am
Riker was trying to hide again, so Cassidy let him. Maybe he could have hidden his laugh, but Riker was pressed so close that he certainly would have felt it ripple through Cassidy’s chest even if he suffocated it before it fell from his lips.
“Not tonight.”
It was playful, but no less gentle than anything else he’d said.
“You can spend the night with me whenever you want. I’ll even be the big spoon sometimes. I bet Julian doesn’t do that for you much.” He didn’t seem the sort to be all arms and legs, he seemed like the kind of person who slept like he was a mummy waiting to be wrapped. Any time Cassidy had spent the night, Julian seemed to stay very far away, on his side of the bed. Riker was always between them, and Cassidy couldn’t help but cling to him.
He liked being held. He knew Riker liked holding people.
But he probably spent a lot of time thinking he wasn’t worth holding.
Cassidy squeezed him a little tighter, a full body hug in every way he could manage it.
“Is it so bad that I want you to dream about me when I’m not around? Maybe I get a little jealous that Julian gets you all the time! My bed’s softer. And bigger. And your house is so full and mine is so empty. And there’s never any danger when it’s just us two. I’m safe with you and you’re safe with me. So just remember that.”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 10:54 am
Riker let out a soft breath that was almost like a laugh. Not because anything Cassidy said was funny, but because Cassidy always had a way of making things so simple when they felt anything but.
He didn’t pull away or argue. He stayed where he was, squeezing Cassidy a little tighter in return, afraid that if he wasn’t careful, everything would just disappear.
Or maybe he’d say something to ruin everything, despite the reassurances. The more honest he became, the more risk there was for that to happen.
“Julian--...” he started, but stopped and pressed his lips together, his brow furrowing just slightly. “He has a way of knowing what I need without me even realizing it. He’s offered… for the record… I usually insist it’s fine, and that I’d rather hold him. Sometimes I wish I didn’t. But that’s not Julian’s fault. He’s always there, quietly taking care of me.”
It sounded stupid. He knew that. He just didn’t know what to do with the truth without hurting the people he cared about.
“I don’t want you to be jealous. I don’t know how to… want things without feeling guilty about it,” he admitted. “Like, if I let myself want this, I’m taking something from someone else. Even if I’m not, or even if you say I’m not, it still feels that way. Like I’m selfish for wanting all of it.”
He swallowed, keeping his forehead pressed to Cassidy’s collarbone. He wanted to tell Cassidy how much everything he’d offered meant to him. Being able to sleep beside him, to dream beside him, to be chosen by him. To be wanted.
But he couldn’t abandon Julian. Wouldn’t. Even if Julian didn’t think he was, even if Julian encouraged Riker to stay with Cassidy, Riker’s thoughts were difficult to settle.
“Sometimes I wish I could split myself in half if it meant I didn’t have to let anyone down,” he sighed. “I don’t want to have to pick. I just want to be allowed to stay.”
Because he was safe there, with Cassidy. He wanted Julian to feel safe too.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 10:54 am
Humming thoughtfully, Cassidy tilted his head in thought. “Is that what it feels like? For the record, I’m not asking you to pick. You’re more than welcome to stay, no strings attached. Like I said, I like you. I want you. Whatever you can give me, whenever you can give it, that’s what I want. It wouldn’t make me happy if you felt like you had to tear yourself in two,” he pointed out.
He hadn’t moved; as long as Riker’s arms could hold him up, he’d stay here. There was a slight burn in his thighs from clinging like this, but he didn’t want Riker to carry all of the burden. Cassidy wasn’t to be deterred; he continued rubbing the back of Riker’s head and stroking up and down his back.
“None of it makes you selfish. And anybody who really cares about you wouldn’t want you to split yourself in two just for them, just saying. Not me, not Julian. Let’s do a video chat before bed, you can say goodnight to him. I’m not gonna steal you from him. Not really.” Sometimes, sure! Like now. But really, this was sort of for his own protection, wasn’t it? He didn’t have to worry about walking in on him and Riker kissing like this.
“I know how close you two are. So we can work something out. If he’s quietly taking care of you then I’ll loudly take care of you. The important thing is that you’re taken care of.” Cassidy believed that, truly. Was he really jealous of Julian? Maybe, maybe not. It wasn’t like he could look at Julian and think ‘competition’.
He was good for Riker in ways that Cassidy didn’t really know, but those two were so tight lipped about things. Cassidy was good at solving mysteries. He’d figure it out eventually.
…But it wasn’t because he wanted to come between them.
He just cared about Riker, and all the things he was still trying to figure out how to say.
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