|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Codebreaking Conversationalist
|
 Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2025 5:02 am
When Albite asked for Fulgurite to stop grasping at his starseed, his response was a quirked brow of disbelief, first. He wasn't an idiot. If he stayed in this proximity without a card in his hand, he would be the one to die, next; there was no love lost between them, adversarial from the start despite the common origin point of Sylvite, now Nectaris. They had both loved her, at some point or another.
Didn't mean that they, themselves, would ever get along, and Fulgurite knew that more than ever. His grip loosened when Albite let the magic go, but didn't quite leave– Fulgurite knew he needed to find a place in this room that put enough distance between them that Albite couldn't just capture him again.
How much magic had Albite already burned up doing that? Did it matter?
And so, for now, they stood at a slightly less intense distance, the goosebumps on Fulgurite's skin lessening as Albite put some–but not much–distance between them, as Albite started to word vomit as he frequently did. It was a valuable word vomit, if anything; it confirmed that Nectaris and Cryolite had tried every possible option to get Fulgurite to budge. They even tried to convince Albite to do it for them.
He supposed that might have explained Albite’s break in, beyond just trying to figure out if Fulgurite was even still with them. He wasn't exactly known for subtlety or grace or … really much of anything of the sort. He was loud and boisterous and acted in whatever way he wanted. Considering what he knew of the rest of Albite’s team, it fit well enough.
Syrus had clearly left in a rush, which was unusual for him. Fulgurite had spotted him from a distance at that world-ending fight once, standing with Nectaris and a gaggle of Order knights. Perhaps the unusual element made sense, in the end. It was a very public spot to be spotted grouped with a bunch of Order allies.
One way to get ******** over.
Albite’s proposal was that Fulgurite take whatever he cared about before the rest got burned. His temptation was to say none of it. Fulgurite had intentionally spent the last year isolating himself away from all of it, not even thinking about what was and what had been once he had passed the initial mourning. What was done was done. He had done what was best for Cryolite and Nectaris in the long term. It was unfortunate they didn't see it that way, but no one saw heartbreak as a good thing in the initial time.
They were probably happy now.
He presumed. It was the easiest path to take.
“So you're just going to burn this place down to imply why he left so suddenly?†Fulgurite could do the math on what he meant by going to a crematorium. There were no crematoriums that only took leftover goods. He glanced around, snorting quietly. “You would.â€
It did not matter if the action would put the other nearby units at risk. That wasn't his concern. It never would be.
Albite only cared for himself.
Fulgurite ran his tongue over his lower lip. There. That corner put enough distance between them without blocking him in if the worst happened. When Fulgurite withdrew his hand, finally, almost disappointed to not feel the pulsing power of an eternal starseed in his hand, he immediately teleported to that spot.
It got him out of range if anything.
“So your assignment for me is to take whatever I care about?†Did he care about any of it? The memories in this house were things that would no longer be touched, and would no longer be touched ever again.
… He supposed there was at least one thing.
Syrus and Matt had worked to document his entire life when the intention had been different. It had been a long time since then, and his life was different now, but he did not want a chance of Albite or Mirabilite of discovering Syrus’s copy and wanting to go through it. Once Albite actually left him alone, he would retrieve it.
“Fine. What do you actually want besides for backfilling me on what happened after I left?â€
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2025 5:04 am
“I have to—“ As though he was compelled, as though he couldn’t help himself when faced with the inevitable truth of such things. It was a statement of fact far more than it was an excuse, bald in its honesty. “—it’s t’send a really clear message as much as it is to stop myself…from uh…doing any number of far stupider things?â€
To stop myself from coming back. To give Syrus no reason to return if he suddenly gets cold feet. Cause if I force the both of us to make choices? Or ********, if it is only for me? Then at least it’s a catharsis of some kind.
“I’m always gonna be a fan of cauterizing open wounds, yanno? It’s not pretty. But it is clean…†Rubbing at his sternum as he spoke, breathing a deeper sigh edged with relief, even if his gaze tracked Matt’s new location like a cat did a flitting mouse. The fight had fizzled out of his gaze though, that ‘burn the world’ brightness bleeding out alongside the spill of words from his lips. There were other matters, pressing, staining, nicked by something sharp ones.
Didn’t mean he was in any hurry to stop watching though, even if he didn’t know anymore what he was looking for in the other man.
“It’s severance, Matt. s**t like this…burn books..it’s supposed to be healthy, yanno? Therapeutic n’s**t…cause my enemies shouldn’t come asking me t’look in on your a** because they're worried you might up n’off yourself quietly.…â€
He didn’t wish it on the man. He couldn’t. Death should come with an abhorrence of noise. Just because he’d grown to dislike Matt? Didn’t mean he wished a quiet kind of misery on the man. At least — not the kind of misery he wasn’t the direct cause of. But that was more of a menacing sort than a misery sort — that lent itself to things like this instead of closed caskets and small gathering funerals.
“The idea that they still love you more than they hate me? Fear me? Do you have any idea how much that pisses me off…â€
Hurts was the right word, the correct one. But hurt could so easily twist into anger and that s**t was easier to cling to. He and Nikki had said their goodbyes, made some uneasy and barbed peace between themselves. Cryolite though? Syrus? Waru could admit wasn’t a seer — and that Almadel was the universes worst fortune teller — that it was ******** hard to be preventative of some things in a world full of magical bullshit!
But he was going to try.
“Which’s why my final, official, anything for you? N’god I do mean ever. Matthew. Is t’tell you to take yourself off the team’s roster once you’re done here.†He hoped it made Matt happy, true severance, full freedom. The ******** was an Eternal now, didn’t need a team, or a general, or someone looking over his shoulder to make sure he was being a good boy and ranking up!
“I did my part, for better or worse, right? But I’m done, and you’re done.†Motion between them with the hand he’d subconsciously pressed over the shallow wound Fulgurites shears had left. He stared at the red like he didn’t recognize its presence there, before rolling his eyes at himself and pressing it back. There were better ways to do this — he had exactly three sashes — but that might require looking away and he didn’t trust the ******** across the room enough to do that.
“I can work with you if it comes to it — I can — ********, I can fight alongside you? Hell, I could probably save you. If it came down to it. Because orders are orders and the agency is the agency but…†he sucked against his own teeth, made a gentle tch’ sound. Like he was preparing himself for the next sentence, to ease whatever ache it’d dredge up. “Say you end up with fans still out there?†Gods did he hate this. “Say….the whole world knows I’m an easy mark for bullshit like this…†He would’ve rather been awake mid root canal, to be that kind of in pain, vulnerable instead of this one. “Cause it happens..and the next time it does? If ever there is one. I wanna be able to say I don’t ******** know you, that you’re gone. T’mean it, and then t’not feel guilty about leaving your sad ******** face in your dead mothers shop.â€
Was that mean? That might’ve been mean. He didn’t care that it was mean, that was fair tradeoff for the starseed grabbing and the stabbing!
“We don’t need t’wound each other with ourselves ******** eternally, right? You were never gonna like me — I — frankly — hate you.â€
“But if we do things this way? In some official capacity. If we get paperwork involved, in boring-a** triplicate? Then I won’t feel obligated to help where help isn’t needed, or wake up ******** miserable that I haven’t…like…it won’t feel I’m abandoning a part of my team…or something worse…and you?â€
He nodded towards him this time, thought better of moving his hand, of doing anything more than shrugging about the obvious solution to all of their conjoined dilemmas. The problem he himself had technically started, yes? But still! He was at least trying to fix it now!!
Late, late, very late but better late than never!!
“You’ll get t’keep on feeling nothing at all.â€
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Codebreaking Conversationalist
|
Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2025 5:05 am
He had to? That word, by itself, was doing some crazy work. Fulgurite quirked a brow at that, murmuring, “You really do belong here.†Everyone who thought that Albite was a good man underneath it all didn't see his willingness to burn down an apartment building just to hide evidence of what? A man disappearing?
In this ******** city, was that really a rarity? Would Syrus’ vanishing really catch that much attention? People disappeared on a daily basis, including members of the Negaverse.
Fulgurite had been behind a number of them in the past. Now? Not so much. He almost wished he had added to it, glancing at Albite from his awkward distance, but the thought was squashed and buried. It was buried under his mind trying to wrap around what Albite was meandering to.
Severance.
Ah. That was what he was asking. Get himself off the team. On one hand, that did come with a danger. If he was a more free-floating agent, he risked another General-Sovereign trying to collect him. Faustite had enough troubles recently that he had been able to skirt under the radar with relatively little trouble.
On the other hand, Fulgurite had taken a serious step to get Albite to leave him alone. He almost murdered him, and was still fighting the thought of how good that would have felt. If that trailed back to the rest of the team, somehow, they would have his neck.
If he was severed, perhaps that would all be washed away.
Get out of jail free, just this once.
Fulgurite leaned against the wall, pursing his lips as he thought of the proposal. It perhaps didn't take as long as it should have for him to say, “Fine.†Being released from a team that seemed to want to be close and track each other would be a relief, ultimately. If he wasn't directly reporting to anyone, there were less people to track him down.
And Albite was right. He could feel nothing at all.
“We don't bring up today to anyone, and I write myself off of the team’s roster. You get to wash your hands of any prior, current, and future responsibility to me. The open connection seals and cauterizes like a wound, in the way you're implying.â€
Worked for him.
All connections to his prior life brought to him by this team would finally be over.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2025 5:15 am
I know.
He did smile, soft and genuine, taking what he knew was probably meant differently as a compliment instead. He tried to tell people — he tried to mean it — that what Matt saw in him? He came by it honestly, desired it in full.
I wasn’t tricked into chaos. I’m not changed by it. I ******** chose to be here because this is where I want to be.
How weird, that he wanted to thank Fulgurite now of all times? For seeing him the way he wanted to be seen.
“It’s kinda fitting….huh…this..for us?†It felt like a good end, as good of one as he’d ever get with the other man. Far better than all the ways he tried to sell himself on before; gentle lies about what they could’ve been if only, if only.
There was common ground now, an iron clad agreement they could both come together on.
It was so ******** strange—-
That he kind of liked this version of Matt only now that he was ‘leaving’. Though? Maybe ‘like’ was too strong a word. Acceptance felt better. Respect? Even. Like that was something he could do. And he still had regrets, one less now than before. But regrets nonetheless. It was only that the rest felt manageable, at least. Less heavy on his shoulders or his heart.
Save one or two — but those would surely scar the same as the mark Matt had left on him — or whatever marks he’d left on the other man; seen and unseen, but undeniably there.
I think I’ll keep this as a nice souvenir…a reminder in case I get stupid about the same s**t all over again….with a different person…but in the same ways…
He thumbed the clotting mark back open with the edge of a thumb, seeming determined to let it heal rough, but not poorly. It wasn’t worth an infection, but there were ways to make sure it scarred correctly once he’d cleaned it out of whatever filth might’ve been in those shears.
“For what it’s worth?†Wiping his hand on his barely-a-bodice, finally looking away from where Fulgurite stood. “I am genuinely sorry neither of us could be what they needed us to be…..â€
That we failed to love them the way they needed—
He wasn’t apologizing to Matt for anything. It was, in his mind, a simple statement of facts. He’d never understood how to love either of them properly. Not Alexa. Not Sy. He’d failed to do so himself — to understand them enough — to care for them properly — even when he tried? It all fit wrong, felt wrong. Became the kind of ache that stayed quiet so long as he didn’t poke it with any sharp, mental sticks.
He assumed Matt must have failed too. That the empty apartment they stood in and rekindled Matt’s willingness to murder were testament to that. That this was what people looked like when they only had the one thing going for them.
When they had lost—-
“I would’ve burned the world for them, too.â€
I’d still do it now.
I would’ve let you have them — leave with them — take them from me —- Keep them!
He almost laughed at himself, knowing it would have been a forcible, shared custody scenario. An open adoption with zero boundaries on his part. That if Matt had taken them both and purified altogether?! His warm sentiment might’ve quickly become something literal, hotter than a bonfire, deadly and all consuming.
“As if either of them ever would’ve wanted that from me..…â€
He uttered roughly, and he would’ve been ashamed of himself if there were any room for it in his heart. But it was the one feeling he’d rarely ever met, could hardly contextualize with an experience of his own. And so he stepped away through another tear in reality, leaving Matt to his own devices: to the place, what remained, and whatever the other man's thoughts would’ve been on the subject.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
