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 Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2025 6:58 am
Riker agreed but he didn’t seem happy about it. Malus felt the way he wilted in his arms. He knew he wasn’t the best with words and it left him desperately questioning what he said wrong, where. Maybe he hadn’t said anything! Maybe Riker was just finally letting himself relax after being so worked up, maybe–
Something didn’t feel quite right. Malus felt a little ball of panic in his gut, twisting in that way it always did when he worried if he’d upset someone. He’d gotten yelled at before, for over thinking things or making something out of nothing. He’d tried so hard to ignore the prickle of something when he wasn’t able to identify where it came from.
Riker had been let down by so many people before. Was he letting Riker down, too?
Had he been hoping for some resolution that put him back with his mother? Of course he was, Evan knew how badly he wanted her to love him. How badly he wanted to be part of a family that wanted him. How badly he wanted her to acknowledge and appreciate and care about him.
She was too flawed and too selfish and too cruel.
“I know, Riker,” he said softly. “You try so hard. And I’m so proud of you. I love you. And I’m really sorry that you’re going through this. I wish it hadn’t been you. I wish it hadn’t been anyone, but I wish it hadn’t been you. I wish I met you sooner, when I was more chaotic. I could have kidnapped you. I mean, I could still kidnap you. Can I just steal you? I want to be the one who gets to take care of you.”
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2025 9:56 am
Evan really was so kind and good to him. Riker knew he should be happy. He knew he should forget his family and accept that he wasn’t wanted by them. At least Evan cared about him. Even to offer to have Soleiyu change names to him in the system. It was sweet, for an illusion.
Reims let out a quiet, humorless laugh when asked if he could be stolen. He shrugged, because what else was he supposed to do?
“Can’t steal what isn’t wanted.”
Wait, no… he didn’t mean to sound as bitter as he did. He didn’t want to accidentally hurt Evan with his thoughtless words.
“Sorry… it’s just-- I don’t know,” he forced himself to sigh, and he gave Malus a squeeze of reassurance. He was grateful to him. He might have been startled by the abrupt appearance, but only because Malus had been right about him wanting to punish himself. If he was alone, then no one would have to make the decision to give up on him. He would have made that choice for them.
“You already take care of me,” he tried to reassure him, ignoring the heartache he felt from his own words. “I don’t know what I would have done without you. You’re really a lifesaver, Evan. I love you, too. I wish I’d met you sooner, too.”
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Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2025 6:25 pm
“Riker,” Evan said softly. He hated his mother so much. So much. His tone shifted just slightly; he didn’t want Riker to think he sounded too pitying because that wasn’t the case, and he definitely didn’t want his anger or frustration at her to come out wrong.
Instead, he sounded firm. Determined. “You’re never going to have to wonder about what would happen if I wasn’t here. I’m always going to be here, anytime you need anything. Even when you’re being too stubborn to ask.”
Even if he was trying to hide away, even if he was trying to do everything by himself.
“I think you know more than what you’re saying. I’m not smart, Riker. I’m trying so hard to read your mind but you’re so good at keeping everything buried up. I’m guessing, a lot. I keep thinking about what I wanted when I was your age. About everything I wished I could have. I wanted my parents to understand me. I wanted them to support me. I wanted to feel like I was important. I wanted them to tell me it was okay. I wanted them to tell me it wasn’t my fault, I wanted them to tell me we’d get through it. I wanted them to tell me that they loved me, that they were proud of me, that I was a good son. I want to tell you all of those things. Not just because it’s what I wanted for me, but it’s because I want it for you. I want you to know all of those things. I want to support you. I want you to know you’re important. It’ll be okay. None of this is your fault, and we’ll get through it because I’m not going to let you do any of this on your own. I love you, I’m proud of you, you’re a good son.”
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Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2025 6:50 pm
Reims sucked in a quiet breath. He knew he was being selfish, but now he realized just how much. Evan had been through so much, and Riker was just wallowing about himself.
He deflated a little more, not because he felt like he was being scolded, but he felt embarrassed about running away in the first place. And now he would have to apologize to everyone. He knew he needed to accept help more often, but it was so difficult sometimes. And because of that, he was difficult.
Evan had been the only one to say those things to him. That he was a good son, at least. A couple of his friends and teachers had said they were proud of him, but Riker was so lost in what was truth and what was just lip service that he didn’t fully believe them, probably. Or it was said as a blanket statement by teachers, which was good for students who wanted to hear things like that, but for him? He didn’t know what to do with someone being proud of him. He hadn’t done anything to be proud of.
But he knew Evan was the only one to have ever told him he loved him.
Reims swallowed thickly and cleared his throat. He didn’t know how to process everything, but he was trying.
“Can we go home? Please?” he asked quietly, maybe a little uncertain. Like he was expecting to have to do something to make it up to Evan first before being allowed back in his house.
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Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2025 7:00 pm
“Yes, of course,” Malus said, and resisted the urge to breathe a sigh of relief. He still didn’t let go of Reims. He felt so cold. He felt so small.
“Let’s go home.” The French Onion soup would taste the same there–better, maybe, because he could eat it while cozied up. Maxim would probably want to lay on Riker. Maybe Julian too. Hell, Evan might.
He didn’t want to crowd Riker, but he also needed him to absorb the fact that people wanted him around. That he was worth the love they wanted to share.
That he was wanted.
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