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 Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2025 7:19 am
Devyn nodded along as Michael spoke, quietly taking it all in. He knew bits and pieces of some of the stories he’d been told.
Maybe there wasn’t anything he could have done but he regretted leaving when he did, that first time. He’d lost Percy all over again and was struggling to make sense of things. He couldn’t change the past. If he’d been able to, there were a thousand things he’d do over.
He might not be able to hug Michael, but he gently nudged his toe into Michael’s foot, just to have some other connection with him.
“Atticus won’t be next,” he said softly, but his tone was unshakable. “Nor Elliot. Not if we have anything to do with it. I want to make a safer world for them.” For everyone but, yes, he was biased.
“For you, and everyone else we know.” And everyone they didn’t, too. “I don’t want anyone to go through a loss like that again. I was careful,” he insisted, with slightly renewed energy. He wanted Michael to know how far from reckless he’d been.
“I don’t make it flashy, I don’t stick around for any longer than I have to. I make sure the starseed gets to where it needs to go. I have a backup phone I take with me on patrols, I call so I know someone’s coming to check on them. And then I break it, I get a new one, for next time. I leave it on Alastor so there’s no trace. I leave them on Alastor. In a nice place.”
Nicer than they deserved. Devyn had buried plenty of people before. What were a few more corpses on Alastor.
“I’m not cruel,” he said, like he needed Michael to believe that more than anything else. He had a legacy he was trying to outrun. There was no reason for Michael to think he did any of this because he enjoyed it, but Devyn still needed it said.
“A starseed for a starseed. Only I make sure theirs is taken care of, too.”
A bath in the Cauldron wasn’t such a bad thing, was it? A second chance to start again, when Cosmos decided?
“And nobody’s caught me yet. I’m safe about it. I don’t want to give you any more trouble by putting a target on my back.”
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2025 7:19 am
Of all the things Devyn could be, cruel was not one of them. Burdened. Grieving. Determined and decisive. Michael loved every bit of him.
He didn’t love that Devyn’s hand was forced. That he had to bear more heartache than he deserved. But Michael was also proud of his resolve. Proud that he knew he would do anything for his family. For the innocent. Even for Chaos, returning the starseeds to the Cauldron was more merciful than many deserved.
“Sort of,” Michael hummed quietly as he added another suture to Devyn’s arm. Devyn might have been safe about his identity, but he clearly got himself into trouble on occasion.
“That’s very smart of you, though. We’ve got plenty of cash around the house so purchasing more phones won’t show up on any statement. I’m assuming you’ve been going to different places. Your face is too beautiful to forget, so splitting the purchases will help spread things out.”
He appreciated Devyn’s foot against his own. He wanted to hold him, but he wanted his arm to heal as quickly as possible. Just as much as he appreciated Devyn’s cautiousness.
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2025 7:19 am
As Devyn sat there, more stoic than not, the corner of his lips twitched into a smile. It didn’t quite reach his eyes but despite whatever storm of emotions he was wrangling, he loved Michael and he appreciated him.
“And here I was worried that you’d be too cross to flirt with me. That’s very sweet, Michael. Thank you, I needed that. I try not to visit the same store too often. And if I have to talk to anyone about it, I just tell them I close my phone in the car door often.”
He had, on occasion. But between Soleiyu and Lucien and their enhancements, he really didn’t have anything to worry about.
Usually, Devyn had to put in a great deal of effort not to squirm when sitting still for too long but tonight he was practically statuesque. There was a great deal on his mind, so maybe the energy it took to keep his thoughts and emotions at bay was a satisfactory alternative to jittering.
“I don’t think anyone’s suspected me of anything. But I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. It’s only happened a few times. I suspect you knew something was wrong on all counts, though. Thank you for looking after me.”
His eyes again locked on Michael’s fingers as he watched him work. “Like you always do.”
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2025 7:20 am
“Someone’s got to,” he said gently, glancing up at Devyn with a somewhat exasperated look, but there was no real ire behind it.
“I imagine you’d be quite a handful for anyone else. Not that I can take all the credit. You look out for me, too.”
There had been plenty of times where Devyn took care of him. More than that, Devyn was there for him in more ways than just physically.
“I did suspect something, yes,” he admitted, although he supposed it wasn’t much of a confession when Devyn already figured it out. “I was going to talk to you about it tonight. But your injury took precedence. I’d asked Asher and Oliver to come up with an excuse to have Atticus over. Lucien probably suspects something is up as well. He was watching out the window for a couple hours after you left, before I had them leave.”
He thought about asking Lucien if he knew what was going on, but he had a feeling that Lucien’s loyalty to Devyn far outweighed any obligation he felt to share information with him.
Devyn’s arm was finally stitched back together at least, so he took a clean wet cloth to dab off what was left of the blood so he could wrap a bandage around everything.
It was unspoken that they would not be mentioning this to Atticus. As much as he knew their son would want to use his healing magic, he doubted Devyn would want to make him worry, especially with how much he didn’t want Michael to worry.
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2025 7:20 am
Another little smile. Devyn nodded, and even if his laugh was a little dry, his heart was in it. It felt sacrilegious to be happy tonight. There was an obligatory mourning period, even if it was for a stranger–and one whose demise was entirely by fault of their own actions.
Tomorrow would be easier. Tonight, he could at least appreciate the love of his husband and the life they shared.
“I’ll text Lucien in a bit, otherwise he’ll conjure up some excuse to head over here and snoop, I’m sure.” It’s what Devyn would have done. “I suppose I’ll tell him the truth, eventually. He’ll probably have something practical, logical to say.”
Devyn sighed, almost wistfully. Lucien was much the way he was before he’d been trapped in his escape pod, but he lacked the memories he and Devyn had shared. It both had and hadn’t gotten easier. Lucien was Lucien, with or without the memories. Lucien was an echo of the past and a reflection of today. He was himself in personality, but there were times when Devyn pined to have him remember just one thing from the life they shared before.
It was selfish, beyond measure. He was glad for what he had, but Devyn always dreamed of more.
“...I don’t suppose you have any suggestions for what I should tell Atticus, do you?”
Not the truth, his heart was too gentle. A lie was better for him. But he cared so greatly and felt so much, Devyn couldn’t stand the idea of making him worry any more than he already was.
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2025 7:20 am
“We could probably get away with some of the truth,” he suggested after mulling it over for a few moments as he carefully wrapped Devyn’s arm. “A general somehow managed to get you with their weapon, but you scared them away.”
He wasn’t sure how that would go over. Better than lying outright, of course. Saying that nothing was wrong while also being injured was just asking for trouble. And tears. And the last thing Michael wanted to do was for Atticus to stop trusting them.
With Devyn’s arm bandaged, he started cleaning up the rest of the supplies. He put everything that needed to be discarded safely away in a sealed container, and turned to the sink to wash his hands and scrub the blood off.
“I’ll make sure to get some better tools for digging. I want to try and get more equipment in general up to Alastor. I might have to break something apart and put it back together. It’ll be easier to clear paths with a bulldozer than by hand,” he sighed, knowing it would take a lot of work, but it would be worth it in the end. He would just dismantle it piece by piece and reassemble it. Maybe he would start with something smaller.
“And I’m sure Atticus won’t mind us having him hang out with Elliot more. It’ll be a good excuse for me to get back in shape. I need to start running more frequently again.”
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2025 7:20 am
Some of the truth was better than none of it, he supposed. It was easier to disguise half a lie with half a truth. Devyn remained sitting as Michael washed his hands; he needed to clean up too but he wasn’t in any rush.
“Come running with me sometimes,” Devyn suggested, because he easily squeezed in a few jogs a day. Some more scheduled than others.
He wasn’t sure if Michael qualified as out of shape but he was happy to have an excuse to spend a little more time with him. He wasn’t trying to pull away.
“There’s plenty to do on Alastor if you just want a workout, though.” He didn’t ask if Michael thought he could get the equipment up there because he trusted that if anyone could, it was him. “I’ve got some tools up there. Soleiyu and Lucien have been working on some gadgets.” Although, he wasn’t sure what they got up to when they were on Alastor. Sometimes they showed him, sometimes they weren’t ready to. He trusted them so he didn’t worry. For now, he just did his own thing.
They’d help Michael if he had a project to do. Especially if it involved taking something big apart.
He pushed himself to his feet with a soft sigh, and though he had no great need to clean up immediately, he still wanted to be close. He pressed his shoulder against Michael’s and leaned against him slightly. He wrapped a careful arm around his waist. Michael had done a good job cleaning it up and bandaging it so he wasn’t worried about making a mess.
“But before we stray too far on another topic, I want to make sure. Are you all right, Michael?”
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2025 7:20 am
Michael glanced over at Devyn when he leaned close with an arm around him. He knew that Devyn wanted to make sure he was okay. There was a part of him that didn’t want to admit to not being okay, because what if Devyn used that as a reason to not tell him things?
“I’ll be okay,” he eventually promised, taking the towel to dry off his hands before turning and finally wrapping both arms around Devyn. “I was just thinking about how sometimes it would be easier if you had a necklace… but then I might be tempted to force myself into pretending like I’m okay when I’m not, just so you wouldn’t worry.”
He pulled back so he could look at Devyn’s face once more. He lifted a hand to smooth back Devyn’s dark hair, and leaned close to press his forehead to Devyn’s once more.
“I don’t like when you try to hide so much of yourself from me. It makes me feel like you’d be better off if I didn’t wear this necklace. At least then you wouldn’t have to worry about me prying. Even if I’m not doing it on purpose. I like wearing this necklace. I like that you’re always with me. But not at the expense of your emotions. I know you said you were going to bottle things back up, and I’m not trying to make you not bottle things up. I just wish you wouldn’t think your feelings or emotions are a burden on me. Or anyone.”
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2025 7:21 am
“They are a burden to me when they are like this,” Devyn mused, resting his forehead against Michael and leaning into his arms. “I have the benefit of experience dealing with them when they get this bad. I’ve had a very long time to develop a resistance to them. You can handle so much, Michael, but I don’t want to crush you under this weight. Please trust me.”
They couldn’t stay like this all night; he hadn’t lost enough blood that he’d need to do more than rest a little but he’d have been lying if he said bed wasn’t calling to him. Even if it wasn’t yet to sleep, he wouldn’t have minded just laying down and being close to Michael.
He didn’t think he deserved the tenderness in the way Michael played with his hair but he couldn’t deprive himself of it. He craved it like a drowning man did air, though he seemed far less desperate. Outwardly.
“I don’t bottle things up just for you. I do it for myself, too. I don’t want to lose control.”
He had to be careful, like he had been for so long. He knew his strength. He had to make sure it didn’t go unchecked.
“I don’t want you to take off the necklace. I like being connected with you. If I were honest–truly honest–you might get tired of wearing it. Even when I’m not worrying about something. I'm very easily excitable, you know.”
Too many little things shifted his mood, often for the better, but that much activity might have been distracting. Would Michael really want to feel every little surge of excitement from a heart working too hard because Devyn found a new meal to enjoy?
…Maybe.
He could probably tell the difference between a good surge and a bad one.
“...But I do want to be more honest with you. I know it’s something I have to work on. I know I have an archaic, inconvenient process. I’ve had so many changes in the last few years, sometimes it’s hard to keep up. But I am trying. And I just need a little time to sort this mess out, first. Let me sleep on it, let me reflect. Let me calm down. We can talk about it. And the next time, I won’t be so secretive. You can help me work through it. And, if you worry between now and then, you can tell me. We can talk about that, too. Does that sound alright?”
Devyn had a plan but nothing was written in stone. He might have been used to making decisions but he wasn’t demanding about it. There was always room for compromise, especially where Michael was concerned.
Devyn didn’t always know best, no matter how much he might have liked to think it, but he trusted Michael. He trusted what they could work out together.
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2025 7:21 am
“Take your time figuring things out. I trust you,” Michael agreed, rubbing Devyn’s back for a few moments before leaning back to look at him. “As long as you trust that I can handle it when the weight is too much. I won’t break. I won’t be crushed. Not when we’re holding it up together.”
He understood what Devyn meant. He’d felt the weight of it, even if only briefly. He felt the air leave his lungs. The torrent of despair and heaviness of responsibility.
But he was also determined not to let Devyn carry everything on his own. He would do what he could to make his burden lighter.
“If you lose control, I’ll be here. To stop you -- to help you --” For all Michael knew, he could very well agree with the reason why Devyn would lose control.
“Just keep that in mind while you’re sleeping on it. There’s nothing you could do that would scare me away,” he promised and took one more glance at Devyn’s arm. When he was satisfied that the bandage was done well, he took a step back to let Devyn clean up more if he wanted.
“I love you. And I love when you’re being truly honest. There have been many times my students have teased me about smiling for no reason because I knew you were having a good day,” he sighed, but smiled softly.
It wasn’t exactly a happy moment. The weight of everything Devyn had gone through was still pressing down on them. But he was already deciding what he wanted to do with the knowledge he had.
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2025 7:21 am
Devyn didn’t have any right to smile, not when he was trying to carry the weight of a world or two on his shoulders, but he couldn’t help it. He approached the sink with full intention to wash up quickly. Michael had already done a good job cleaning him up so he was just finishing up the job.
“You’re sweet. That’s very cute,” he said, smiling fondly at the thought. “I think about you often throughout the day. It brings me much joy. I suppose if you find me having a good day, there’s a good chance I was thinking about you throughout it.”
The blood was gone so he carefully patted his hands dry on the towel. He thought of his shirt in the bath and decided maybe it wasn’t so important to save it. He’d see if he could clean it up later, maybe. For now, he was tired. He wanted to go lay down with Michael.
“I’m glad you’re in my life, Michael. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Or where I’d be. You bring me so much peace.” He held his breath for a moment and then sighed.
Something seemed to pull him suddenly away, and he crossed the distance to meet Michael again, once more wrapping his arms around him and just holding on. “So much peace,” he repeated, softer.
Even if his arm had hurt, it was still a firm, almost needy hug. He should have been more careful about being gentle, especially given how hard Michael had just worked to patch up his arm, but he couldn’t help it. He needed the closeness. Michael had said he wanted to help, so Devyn gave him the chance.
The connection was enough to give him strength. Maybe Michael didn’t know how much power he had already, and how much Devyn already relied on him to stay strong.
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2025 7:22 am
For just a moment, Michael was concerned that something was wrong. And maybe something was wrong. But no matter what it was, he still wrapped his arms around Devyn in return and held him tight.
There was a weight that still lingered. In himself. In Devyn. He could also feel his heart beating heavily as he held his husband and rubbed his back and stroked his hair. He pressed kisses against the side of his face, and rested his chin on Devyn’s shoulder.
“I’ll always be here,” he promised, even though he knew maybe, one day, that might not be true. But it wouldn’t be for several decades of having a wonderful life together.
Fin!
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