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 Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2024 5:34 pm
“I would!” Julian insisted, and he was a bit pink either because of the kisses or because he’d let himself get all worked up for nothing, apparently. He didn’t mind easy, gentle touches. Riker moved slowly, never out of sight. He didn’t have to wonder what was coming because he could see it.
It helped that he felt safe here. In his room. In a house full of people who were warm and welcoming.
He knew Riker wouldn’t call him for a splinter but if he needed help for it–or wanted it, Julian would show up. “I’m going to ask if I can learn about first aid things. I know Atticus already knows a lot, and Elliot too, probably. I’m going to ask Talia if she can teach me anything. Or if I can take a class or something.”
It felt like a lot of doors had just opened up for Julian all at once and he was still scrambling to figure things out. Would Azure be harder than Hillworth? Would he get to see his friends more or less? Would he have more or less time to focus on what he wanted? What did he want, and how could he do that now that things were more unstructured?
He had Talia’s support, but he wasn’t sure how much he could ask for. He was overwhelmed with the possibilities, even if he had so much good to look forward to. With an exhausted, relieved sigh, he flopped back down onto his bed. He still faced Riker but his cheek was pressed into his shoulder as he looked towards him.
“You guys mean a lot to me, you know. I know how lucky I am to have you all in my life. I know you’ll all probably tell me that I’m doing a good job, but I just want to do better, you know?” He chewed on the inside of his cheek. “It’s really important to Talia that I do my best to stay safe and that I’m careful about things. I’m sorry, maybe I’m talking too much. You can tell me if I am. I just don’t want to sound melodramatic. Or like I’m whining. I don’t think I’m doing a bad job, that’s not what I’m saying. I just know that I can do better. I want to learn how.”
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Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2024 5:35 pm
Riker shifted to lay back down too, but only because he was starting to lose feeling in his arm. He was able to glance over at Julian out of the corner of his eye, but mostly glanced up at the plastic stars on the ceiling.
“We’ll keep you safe,” he promised. There was something in his voice that would make it hard to argue against. He would keep Julian and the others safe. They would all keep each other safe.
“I don’t ever think you talk too much, so I’ll never tell you that you are. If anything, I’d like to listen to you talk more. You have a nice voice. Very soothing. Kind of like music,” he hummed thoughtfully to himself.
“I hope she understands that staying safe and being careful doesn’t mean you’ll never go out and do things. We’ve done a lot together. We’ve fought off Chaos together. Saved your friend. All I’m saying is that you’re really important to us, and I know we’ll be better off with you by our side than hiding away in an attempt at being safe.”
He didn’t trust most adults. He didn’t expect them to understand.
“We can all learn to do better, and it’s going to be a lot more fun doing it together, don’t you think? Anyway, thank goodness you’ll be learning some first aid. I always get too impatient when I have to patch myself up. I know you’ll at least be gentle!”
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Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2024 5:36 pm
When Riker promised that they’d keep Julian safe, he believed him. Julian already trusted that he was safest with his friends anyway, but it was still reassuring to hear how sure of it Riker was.
And there he was, saying such kind things again. Julian didn’t know if anyone had ever compared his voice to music before, or if anyone else ever would again. Maybe Riker was just being nice and trying to boost his confidence. It was working, even if it was just for pretend.
“If you’re already hurt, I don’t want you to get hurt worse! Maybe we should all learn first aid,” he mused, but he didn’t think it was a bad thing if they all explored different skills. He didn’t really want to focus on combat. It was hard enough just to want to fight to defend himself; wanting to protect his friends was his only real motivation to fight–and even then, he didn’t want to harm anyone.
Being a Knight was so complicated.
“I think Talia understands those things, though. She’s just had a lot of bad experiences. I think she wants to protect me. Or, um, I don’t know. Just be able to help if I need it.” He wasn’t the best at asking for it, but the last few weeks had given him a lot to think about.
A lot to work on.
“I’ll make sure she knows how strong you guys are, though. I bet she’d feel better knowing that I have good friends. I think the only friend of mine that she’s gotten the chance to know very well is Brooklyn. Maybe, um. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll ask if, um. I could have some friends over for my birthday. Just a movie or something, maybe. So she could get to know everyone. Oh, I don’t know, actually. A big group sounds a little intimidating. Sorry! I’m still figuring things out. But I want her to know I’m in good hands. Because,” he shrugged a little. “I know I am. Um, thank you, Riker. For all the stuff you said. You’re a really good friend. And you’re really important to me, too. I just wanted you to know. This whole thing has been really confusing, and kind of a lot, but, um. I’m just glad you’re here. And I’m glad I know I can always count on you.”
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Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2024 5:36 pm
He knew that Julian trusted Talia, just as he trusted Evan. But it wasn’t as though there were many adults that he would confide in. He supposed Elliot’s parents were okay. And he was a little anxious around Atticus’s dad at school. Not because he did anything, but because Riker knew he’d be in a lot of trouble if Elliot or Atticus ever said he was causing trouble. Not that he expected them to, but he wouldn’t blame them if they did.
It was hard for him to trust that an adult -- especially one that he didn’t know very well -- would be able to do a good enough job to keep someone important to him safe. He knew he was probably being a little possessive or overprotective, and while he didn’t think of Julian as weak or helpless, Riker knew he’d already been through enough trauma and stress in his life. He needed safety and stability and kindness and compassion -- things that Riker was working on himself to be for others.
“You definitely should invite everyone over,” Riker decided with a nod, even though he was thoughtfully biting his lip. “I’m uh… still working up the courage to talk to Énna about, well… the fact that we all know each other already. So to make sure everyone else has a good time, I should probably stay back. Oh! But don’t feel bad about it. You remember what it was like at the fair, yeah? I made it super awkward. And we’ll hang out later, anyway! I promise,” he insisted, because the last thing he wanted to do was to make others feel like they couldn’t relax around him.
“Unless you wanted a party on the Moon or something. Sorry. I know. I should have known better instead of being a jerk before. Maybe he’ll forgive me once he finds out. Or… hmm…”
He didn’t want to say that having an Official Group would be more complicated if his being there caused friction.
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Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2024 5:38 pm
“I don’t need a party,” Julian insisted. “It wouldn’t be the same if you couldn’t be there. And it sounds like a lot of trouble to set something like that up! I’m happy just doing things like this. And anyway, parties are so busy! I bet there wouldn’t even be time for Talia to get to know anyone better anyway. I’ll figure out something else.”
He didn’t seem too pressed by the idea, anyway.
“I don’t want to put you in a difficult position with Énna. I really hope things work out.” He thought about it for a moment, and he knew there wasn’t any easy solution. If Riker’s family had been better to him, he really doubted Riker would have given anyone a hard time.
How could he have, when he was so kind and patient with Julian right now? Riker didn’t want to hurt anyone.
He was trying to apologize, trying to make up for things now.
Énna didn’t owe him anything, but Julian’s heart was perpetually full of hope–for all of his friends. Maybe it was selfish to dream of an ideal world where everyone got along and brought out the best in each other, but Julian had spent a lot of nights with his thoughts, and before sleep he always tried to go to bed on a good note.
He had a lot of dreams. Most of them involved the people he cared about being happy.
“I’m sure things will,” he decided. If he hoped hard enough…
Maybe. It wasn’t his decision and he respected that but he still wanted to do whatever he could to make sure both of his friends were happy.
For now, he was glad for these small moments. “I hope everyone you care about gets to see this side of you, Riker. When you’re ready for it. But I’m glad I get to see it now.”
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Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2024 5:40 pm
Riker felt bad. He knew that Julian was changing up his idea for a party because of him. It was his fault that he’d been horrible to people. He was trying, but sometimes it felt like he was getting nowhere, especially when he was trying to respect boundaries, while the guilt ate at him because he wasn’t being completely honest with Yvoire when they were at their Wonders together.
But Julian was sweet, as always. His optimism made his lip twitch a little, and eventually he shifted onto his side once more so he could face Julian more fully again.
“Oh? You like seeing this side of me? Is it my better side? My hair looks okay?” he joked, because people liked talking about their better side for photos, right?
“I like this side of you too,” he sagely nodded, before reaching out to gently poke Julian’s side. Just to test the waters. He was pretty sure Julian was ticklish, but he didn’t want to do anything that would upset him.
But when Julian let out a startled gasp and squirmed and didn’t immediately try to shove Riker away, Riker dug his fingers in a little more aggressively, but never enough to hurt him.
“Oh! You are ticklish!” he laughed, his touches light as he pushed himself up so he could wiggle his fingers against both of Julian’s sides. He was conscious of making sure Julian didn’t seem like he was in distress, not wanting him to be so out of breath that he was miserable. But his laugh was addictive.
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Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2024 5:41 pm
“Sometimes!” Julian said between poorly hidden bouts of laughter. He squirmed, but there was nothing guarded about his behavior. He was trying to get away but there was nothing desperate or unhappy in his movements. Riker did a good job in limiting himself so he didn’t push Julian too hard.
He probably could have lasted until Riker got tired of it, but a sudden noise from by the door made him freeze.
Zac stood by the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. He was looking up at the ceiling as if doing so might give them some small bit of privacy. “Julian,” he said, like this wasn’t the first time he’d called his name.
“Evan said you two were up here. He wanted me to tell you dinner’s done. Don’t mean to intrude, I was calling from downstairs but I guess you couldn’t hear me.”
“No,” Julian blurted. He didn’t move. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t hear anything. Um, we’ll be–just a second, we’ll be right down. Thank you.”
Zac lowered his eyes finally, a bit amused when he locked eyes with Riker. His lip only twitched slightly but he kept a straight face about it. Mostly. “No rush. I was surprised when you two were friends. I didn’t realize you were so close.”
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Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2024 5:43 pm
Riker froze too, in that he immediately stopped tickling Julian and twisted so he could face the door.
And Zac.
And it would have been normal, and Riker might have even complimented Zac’s sound proofing of the room, but the moment he locked eyes with him, Riker could feel his ears and whole face flush with color.
Zac could have meant the comment innocently enough. He could have just been surprised that they were friends. But what pushed it over the edge was that little smirk. It didn’t have to be a big, visible one! Riker could see it in his eyes!
“We were just fooling around, okay??” he sputtered, oblivious of the word choice in his haste to explain himself. Or why Julian’s shirt had been pushed up a little so he could get to the best tickle spot unhindered.
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Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2024 5:46 pm
“Oh, yeah. No, I can see that,” Zac said smugly. He rested against the door frame.
Julian’s face was pink, either from laughing or embarrassment. He quickly fixed his shirt and tried to look a little more presentable. He didn’t try to sit up or move away from Riker, but he was awkwardly smoothing out his hair and appearance.
“Anyway, I didn’t come up here to judge you. Evan’s really proud of dinner, so don’t keep him waiting. He’ll be sad if it’s cold by the time you get down there. So you two just…”
He looked between the two of them as he pushed away from the wall. “Make sure to wash your hands before you eat.”
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Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2024 5:54 pm
“Y-you wash your hands!!” Riker barked at Zac’s back as he turned to leave, too flustered to even think of a better response. The nerve of that guy!! It wasn’t like he and Julian were doing anything like he was apparently suggesting!! He wasn’t even into guys!! Wow! No! Why would anyone think that??
“What a jerk,” he huffed awkwardly once Zac was gone, and then turned his attention to Julian, offering him a hand to help him up. “Sorry… that-- we’ll lock the door next time.”
Because that didn’t offer any suggestions on its own.
“Are you okay? Well, at least you know you’ll be able to play your violin without bothering anyone if we didn’t even hear anything. And I usually have a good ear for things since--”
He paused and waved his hand as if to dismiss the thought.
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Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2024 5:57 pm
For a moment, Julian just looked at him. It seemed like the gears in his brain had jammed and he stared up at Riker blankly.
And then, he laughed.
It was a little louder, a little more rich, and infinitely more honest than his usual quiet, reserved laughs. He had to raise his arm to cover his face in the crook of his elbow but it took a few seconds for the laughter to subside enough for him to even take Riker’s hand and pull himself up.
He was nearly wheezing, and it wasn’t until after he’d coughed twice that he was able to speak. Wiping at his eyes, Julian was still smiling. “I’m sorry. It’ll look suspicious if we lock the door, I think. Maybe–” he stopped to laugh again and shook his head. “–Maybe I can ask Soleiyu if we can have walkie talkies or something. A little doorbell thing. I can come down if they ring it. I’m sorry, I didn’t hear him at all. And I usually have a good ear for those things, too! I don’t think he was being as loud as he said he was.”
Maybe it was just Zac’s way of checking on him. He really didn’t know him very well, but Julian was far less embarrassed now that he’d had a chance to laugh about it all. “Are you okay? Is that how he usually teases you?”
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Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2024 5:58 pm
Riker stared at Julian for a few moments when he started to laugh, and it didn’t take long for the tension in Riker’s shoulders to relax, and he found himself laughing as well.
There was something so pure in Julian’s laugh, even more than when he was being tickled. If Riker’s face wasn’t already flushed from embarrassment, he was pretty sure it would have darkened as he watched Julian’s expression, and the smile he wore, and the way his hair was still a little ruffled from roughhousing.
How anyone could even think to cause Julian heartache was beyond Riker’s understanding. He was such a sweet person, and so gentle and thoughtful. Naturally, Riker would want to protect that, and it took him another moment to realize that Julian was talking to him again.
“Huh?” he blinked, and then cleared his throat and glanced across the room at the door so he could not be so awkwardly staring at Julian’s face. “Oh, yeah. I’m okay. I don’t know what his deal is, other than being a jerk. But if you’re ready to eat, did you want to head down?” he asked, this time sliding off the bed and holding out his hand again.
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Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2024 5:59 pm
“Yeah, I don’t want to keep Evan waiting.” He wiped at his eyes again but the smile never left his face. When he took Riker’s hand, he pulled himself to his feet and then brushed himself off after a quick word of thanks.
He had to take a few extra seconds to smooth out his clothes and fix his hair but he still seemed to be glowing. The happiness clung to him and didn’t seem like it would be fading any time soon.
“Should I tell Evan Zac was being mean to us?” Julian asked, but he didn’t seem like he had any hurt feelings about it. He didn’t feel bad, he hadn’t felt like he was being made fun of. If he’d been alone, maybe, but he doubted Zac would have said anything like that to just him. It felt like Zac was always handling him with kid gloves or something–which was okay! It hadn’t ever bothered Julian before and he didn’t mind the extra caution and distance.
“I’m sure Evan would stick up for us if Zac was being too much. He always seems so serious, I don’t ever really see that side of him.” It was nice to see him–what, having a little fun? As long as Riker wasn’t upset! It probably wasn’t even a misunderstanding, Zac should have been able to see what was going on, he must have just been trying to push Riker’s buttons. Zac hadn’t yelled or seemed mad, so everything was probably just fine.
“I can see why you tease him, too.”
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Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2024 6:00 pm
Riker clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth and huffed a bit, but it was pretty obvious that he wasn’t being serious. He was still trying not to grin so much, but Julian’s good mood was infectious.
“Oh? Because he’s a jerk? Is that why?” he huffed again, crossing his arms defiantly over his chest.
“We should tell Evan. But. No, it’s fine. I’ll just have to come up with a way to get him back for that.”
He couldn’t keep up his serious expression and eventually uncrossed his arms and--
Maybe it was a bit too casual, but in case Julian needed a reason to excuse himself from too much contact, especially if he was feeling at all overwhelmed from being tickled, Riker only sort of lifted his arms to offer a hug. He felt weird asking about it, and Julian was often so reserved, but. Well, Riker couldn’t help it.
And if Julian didn’t want a hug, then he could pretend like he didn’t see him.
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Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2024 6:01 pm
Was Riker offering a hug or was he just posing weirdly? It was a weird stance to take; he was neither stretching nor did he look like he was comfortable standing there with his arms lifted just enough to be inviting.
But then, if Riker wanted a hug, would he have even asked? Or would he have done his best to play it off, or just keep his thoughts to himself?
Would it have been weird to ask what Riker was doing? Yes, if Julian asked then Riker would have certainly pulled away or brushed it off.
Julian took a step closer and leaned into the hug Riker may or may not have been offering. He wrapped his arms around him and gave him a light hug. “I’m so glad you came over today, Riker. I hope you’ll be over a lot more. I’ll find excuses to invite you. Or if you’re working with Evan maybe he can give you a ride over. Oh–but, how far away from here do you live? …I don’t want you to have to walk home alone if it gets late.”
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